Granted you get a bucket of shiny, new carpet nails. Hope you have a hammer and a carpet that needs nailing.

I wish I was asleep.

Granted. But now you're stuck in sleep mode (not dead, just asleep forever) and can't ever wake up.

I wish I didn't snore.

Granted. Now you roar in your sleep instead.

I wish I could consume Devon's soul, perhaps with some garnishings such as a hint of parsley or lemon.

granted you are posessed by devon and you roar your way through years of sleep.

i wish i could think of a wish

Granted and you wished your were a used piece of toilet roll and got flushed down the toilet.

I wish I was a comic strip



Ariella

granted, every one thinks your a joke

i wish i was ariella

granted...and guess what it is now your turn to scrub the toilet with cotton balls instead of mine mwahahahahahahahahahaaaaa

I wish I was able to cook a cake that tasted good

Ariella

granted, you cook so many and eat them that you become morbidly obese and eventually have a heart attack and die.

i wish i was a never ending bottle of beer

Granted. Now you're drunk down again and again by drunken idiots for the rest of your existence.

I wish I made a wish that had no evil side or after effects.

granted you are posessed by devon and you roar your way through years of sleep.

Aren't you sorry you consumed my soul now, Myst?

Granted and now you live a very very boring life and have absolutely nothing to do so you just sit and satre out the window cause without evil there is no fun.


I wish I was an angel



Ariella

Granted. But you've been made a guardian angel to the biggest idiot of all time and have the hardest time trying to make sure he/she doesn't accidentally kill him/herself.

I wish . . . well, I just wish.

hahaha

You have been granted the wish to make the dumbest wish of your life and now you are a toilet brush.

I wish that the next person gives me their wish.


ariella

Granted. You can have my wish.

Except my wish is for Ariella to somehow consume Devon's soul, (which I regurgitated due to bitterness and snoring problems).

not fair.......aaaaaaargh!!!!!!! the agony of trying to come up with something.....

Granted and now you have no soul at all and are a mindless worthless drone and walk off the edge of a cliff and die. At least I have a soul.....

I wish Myst wasn't able to find a way to get me thinking so hard.......


Ariella


Ariella

Granted and now you have no soul at all and are a mindless worthless drone and walk off the edge of a cliff and die. At least I have a soul.....

Actually, just because I ate her soul doesn't mean I don't still have my own.

Granted, instead of finding a way to make you think hard, I can use ways I already have. (Lol actually I don't have any, though)

I wish that I would stop procrastinating.

Granted and now you have gone off to go do some work and now you can never procrastinate ever again, you just continuosly work 24 hours a day.

I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up for an entire week

Granted. While you are sleeping burglars freely come in and relieve you of all your furniture and items, and several birds decide to nest on you.

I wish that Ariella would wish for me to wish for her to wish for me.

granted and now we are both left very confused over your wish.

I wish that Myst would make his wishes eaiser to give an evil response to.

Granted.

I wish something fantastic will happen to Ariella.

Granted something truely fantastic happened, Ariella won the lottery and is very happy whilst you are very miserable.

I wish that everyone did something nice for each other and everyone was happy.



Ariella

Ahh! I thought some bad side effect would have to happen to you, but you turned it against me.

Anyway.

Granted. Everybody does nice things except for you, which makes you all the sadder as you cant be a part of the happiness around.

No wish... ;___;?

Granted. But it's short-lived because our sun balloons up into a red giant and destroys everything within its reach.

I wish the earth was flat and round, both at the same time.

Granted, but then that disrupts all the laws of possibility, and hence, the universe does not exist yet exists, both at the same time. The alternative is that the Earth becomes a huge pancake, but that isn't fun because the ground would be thin enough to drill through and fall into space.


I still wish that I could eat Devon's soul but without any bad side effects such as roaring in my sleep or physical ailments like dying.

Granted. But now I make you throw up violently every eight minutes. Oh wait, that doesn't work.

Erm . . .granted! But now I haunt your mind for the rest of your existence. Would that work?

I wish I could read minds.

granted but you find out you dont like anybody because in their mind they are either mean or perverted.

I wish I had more time to myself

Granted everyone in the world drops dead leaving you all the time you could want for yourself. And then you fall through a weak floor into an abandoned basement where you're even more alone with even more time for yourself because you can't get out.

I wish my cat was a kitten again.

Granted.....you now have a fuzzy little kitten.......but it soul ages instead and it may appear to look fun and cuddley but infact its mean and grumpy....

I wish Dogs could talk

Granted. Dogs can talk. But you aren't going to like what they have to say to you.

I wish I could blow a balloon up with my mind.

Granted.....you now have a fuzzy little kitten.......but it soul ages instead and it may appear to look fun and cuddley but infact its mean and grumpy....
She has always been mean and grumpy. Thats why its so fun to annoy her.

Wish Granting time.
Granted. Your mind can blow up a balloon. You just have to put your ear to opening of the balloon, and push really hard, your mind enters the balloon, and leaves you mindless.

I wish my brother would stop telling me to get into a trade.

Granted. Now he can't talk at all. Um . . .wait, that might not be an evil consequence. Oh well.

I wish the earth would spin twice as fast, the moon was four times as large, and the sun half as warm.

Granted. Now he can't talk at all. Um . . .wait, that might not be an evil consequence. Oh well.
As interesting as that is it wouldn't help much. He's doing it over MSN. :mad:

Granted. As the sun dims, we speed up and the moon gets bigger, we all suffer and die horribly. As the moons increased gravity tears at the Earth causing horrible earthquakes, those that survive, slowly freeze to death and starve as the earth is no longer heated. Everyone dies. Hurray!

I wish I had a clean beach towel.

granted..but its a cheap one and doesnt absorb water...just moves it around....(one of my pet peeves)

I wish for a nice skin tone

Granted......your skin tone is sooooo appealing that whenever you go out in public you get ambushed by everyone, guy or gal wanting your number and to get with you......your husband(if you have one?) and or boyfriend breaks up with you because of it and you force yourself not to go in public...you become "The wierd lady who doesnt leave her house" that sucks

I wish I was of a higher power

Granted. God puts a new battery in you. You have a bit more power, but the battery doesn't fit right, so you feel stiff and sore for the rest of your life.
You really don't want to know where the battery goes either.

I wish everyone became rich. Without the economy collapsing from rampant inflation.

Granted. Now everyone has become affluent snobs and no one talks to anyone and everyone is backstabbing the other 'rich guy/girl' next door. (Money. Bah. Hate it.)

I wish everything were perfect.

Granted everything is perfect, BUT this wish isnt.....You die after making this wish ...hahahaha

I wish I was a period

Granted. Period meet tampon.

I wish I was a really good book.

your a really good book but nobody reads you because you have a hideous cover which smells

I wish I never had to clean again.

GRanted...No more cleaning....But.....in order to balance this out you ALWAYS have to cook....too bad...Hot stove...

I wish I was a big sweatshirt

Granted. You're worn by an morbidly obese, comic book nerd, who insists on putting comic book stickers on you, never washes you or himself, drops junk food all over you, sweats like a pig, and wears you constantly because you give him special powers.

I wish I was an invincible giant.

Granted......but you cant see yourself and you become insane and eventually die.....

I wish I was cupid

Granted. You're a half naked pudgy little boy with a plastic bow and arrow, on a gift card. You end up in the trash.

I wish I was always clean, and clean shaven.

Granted......but your missing the rugged affect......you meet a very nice girl.....shes just wonderful and shes HOT ;)!! You are at your door and right before you let her in she says......I cant wait to feel your fuzz in the morning.....and you dont understand at first and decide to ignore it.....After having a long and tired night you awake to find her hand feeling your face....she look spuzzled and you ask What are you doing? she doesnt answer.....you ask again....and this time she says...Where is your manly fuzz??? you laugh and tell her that you shaved before she woke up.....she knows you are lying and asks again....this time more freekish.....you look scared and wonder why she even cares of such a thing....she slaps you in the face and asks again...alarmed you get out of the bed and stand in shock......What the hell are you doing!!! you say....She demands to know where your fuzz is ......you tell her that you made this wish and that it will never grow back.....she looks away .....you stand in silence.......then she looks at you again but this time you know some thing is wrong.....under the pillow there is her gun and she pulls the trigger......your dead after the 15th shot....She used a Glock.....Wow....wierd story......

I wish that became a cool story

:confused:
That was just... bizarre.
I'm going to go away now and be puzzled for a while.

Granted you have written it out and printed out copies and it is selling really well, but within days of it selling everyone is demanding their money back and you realise that you were the only one in the entire world aprt from Domoviye that thought it was cool.


I wish I was an army tanker


Ariella

Granted, you are a Special army tanker which means you do special things but then you deported to Venus since you're too special for Earth and then the gigantic Venus tornado sucks you in and throws you into Antartica but the impact is so strong Antartica exploded and all the penguins end up dead- then you sink to the lowest level of the sea and then a giant salmon whacks you and then you fly forty miles east of California and into a snail pond where lots of tiny snails devour your metal body.

I wish my wish was not MY wish, but YOUR wish.

Granted your wish is now mine and I wished you would disappear off the face of the earth and you did. Bye bye Myst...have fun where ever you ended up....

I wish that I could give my wish away to someone desrving of it...


Ariella

Granted. You give your wish away to a starving child. Who wishes for a banquet. You become the main course without the child finding out until the end. You're eaten and the kid goes insane, because he just ate you.
The good part is the kid ends up in an asylum and never starves again, as they inject the food directly into him because he refuses to open his mouth ever again.

I wish I was a country. One of the richer ones.

Granted. Now you're corrupt and break out in war with the other corrupt countries around you.

I wish I was a vegetable.

Granted. As you walk to the store tomorrow a piano falls on your head, cracking your skull, and causing other horrible injuries. The doctors keep you alive, but there is a complication in surgery that cuts off the oxygen to your brain for over an hour. You spend the rest of your life in the hospital totally brain dead. There you go vegetable.

I wish I controlled gravity.

Granted. Now everyone floats off into space and dies because you can't grasp the true meaning of gravity's reality.

I wish I was a tooth.

Granted. Your a tooth. A wisdom tooth to be exact. You start growing in the back of the mouth, but are badly placed. You start crushing the persons jaw as you grow. But he has an intense fear of dentists, and refuses to go get you removed.
As you grow you slowly grind the bone down, and crack your enamel. But the flesh presses in around you keeping you together, even as the crack spreads and tears you apart as you continue to grow.
An infection lodges in your root, causing even more pain as it rots you from the inside, leaving you a horribly cracked, hollow parody of a tooth.
The infection spreads to the gums, causing the person to slowly die as you become abscessed. He dies, you crumble into dust as too much of your insides is hollowed out and the fractures that weaken you suddenly implode.


I wish I typed accurately, as fast as I thought.

granted. nobody likes vegetables so you rot.

I wish I was photogenic

granted. nobody likes vegetables so you rot.

I wish I was photogenic

I think you missed the newest page.

Granted. You're so photogenic that where ever you go people take your picture. No matter what you say. Not only is this irritating and bordering on scary as hell, all the flashes screw with your eyes.
You eventually go blind from the eye damage. But people still take your picture.

(Now I'll just reuse my ungranted wish.)
I wish I typed, accurately, as quickly as I thought.

Granted.........But thats all you ever did....type type type type because you now are superb at it.......Too bad that you were already enrolled in a million dollar course that tought you how to type fast....

I wish I was Super

Granted. What now Super? It must be difficult getting people to respect you with the name Super. I know I'd be laughing my ass off at you if I heard your name at a bar.

I wish I was famous. Don't care if its good or bad, just as long as people remember my name for thousands of year.

People rememebr your name becuase you were responsible for what the U.S.A. has names HALOCAUST #2~~~ Everyone wishes you were alive so they could strangle your life like you did theirs...

I Wish that you died

Granted.

As you're driving home one day while talking on the phone you accidentally run over a pilot. You're thrown in jail under a new law banning cell phones while driving and the pilot is rushed to the hospital severely injured.

The pilot is replaced for a late night flight to South Africa with an incompetent replacement. The plane crashes in the middle of Africa when the pilot forgot that he shouldn't be able to see the ground directly in front of him.

The plane crashes into a volunteer hospital and kills a world famous doctor working on a vaccine for a new strain of ebola. All of his ground breaking research is lost in the inferno, and as rescuers pull the injured and dead from the hospital they become infected with the ebola.

Reporters go to the region to report on the horrendous accident, and become infected as well. They return to their home cities before they show any symptoms, spreading the disease to virtually every corner of the Earth.

By the end of the month the air born ebola which is contagious weeks before showing any symptoms starts killing entire cities.

Civilization breaks down before anyone can discover a cure, because the best doctor with all the info is dead. People flee the cities spreading the disease farther, infected cities are nuked trying to prevent the spread, people riot, the majority of people die.

Living in a lightly populated area, I flee to the woods. Avoiding people and using my limited survival skills I struggle to stay alive.

One day I slip on some rocks as I try to fill my canteen. I bang my head against some rocks and land face down in the water.

I die.


I wish I could connect to the internet anytime any where.

Granted you can connect to the internet where ever you go but the problem with it is now your computer has been stolen and you are broke and cannot use your computer, but hey at least you are connect right!!!!!!


I wish that people would stop making wishes.



Ariella

Granted. Everyone stops making wishes, every type of wish. The wish for a better life, for happiness, for a decent future for their kids. The world becomes a dull, hopeless place, as no one dreams anymore. They just go to work so they can feed themselves and stay alive. Eventually even that ends, and they stay in bed. They can't even wish that it would all end. Everyone wastes away knowing that things used to be different, but they've forgotten why. And no one can think about how to change it.

I wish I was happy all the time.

Granted you are happy all of the time and never get angry sad just happy all of the time. Then all of a sudden your entire family commits suicide, all of your friends are all murdered in the most hideous disgusting ways, and at their funerals all you can do is laugh and smile cause you are so damn happy that they are all dead and now their families are all after your blood and you are so happy about that and as they are torturing you to death and skinning you you keep laughing and smiling cause you are so happy that you are going through a very painful gruesome disgusting and hideous death.

I wish that everyone would stop connecting to the internet.



Ariella

granted, but seeing as we have all become so technology dependant, we are all clueless as to how we do things manuallly and physically. which in the end throws your life into complete chaos.

i wish that the person who grants this wish, cannot think of a wish

Granted I cannot think of a wish what so ever and noow this thread has come to it's untimely end and it is all because of you and now everyone is getting bored and are spamming your inbox for something to do.


I wish Misstikal's inbox got inundated with los of spam mail....:):)

granted, you all get banned leaving me to be the only member in the forum

i wish ariella had no idea how to type

Granted. So without the ability the type she decides to use her free time to get over to where you live and WHACK! KER! POW! you all the way into the ocean.

I wish that I had no school tommorow. Damnnn.

Granted your school blows up. Its a really big explosion to and pieces of it land all around your house, destroying your most prized possessions.

I wish I had a fourth cat that was really well behaved, and never tried to run outside.

Granted...bu the cat is mentally ill.....so it drools all ovber you all the time...ewwww.....\
\I

I wish that this forum would end...no really.....this is the last wish....im not joking.....its done....good bye

Granted. As the forum ends it blows up every computer that ever had contact with it. Including yours.

I wish my uncles, grandparents and others would stop dying. (They're dropping like flies right now.)

Granted. They stop dying. They just live and whenever you see them, they pinch your cheeks too hard, the food they forc you to eat makes you throw up. Your parents decide to give you to your grandparents because now that they cannot die they find time and money to travel. You live with your relatives constantly. You start to get desperate for other contact but they wont let you leave, they just make you stay in the t.v. room watching nature shows and force you to eat jelly and custard and prunes like them.

I wish I could tell people the truth

Granted you are now going out and telling everyone the truth and as we all know the TRUTH HURTS and now everyone hates you because the things you have said to them all are vulgar and disgusting and now you are lonely and totally miserable because no one will talk to you at all .

I wish that Myst was wiped from this forum and never able to return and his computer got hit with a really nasty virus.



Ariella

Granted. Myst goes insane and hunts you down for making the wish. He then keys your car and runs away laughing like a maniac.

I wish I could sing.

Granted you can now sing but hey you never wished you could be any good at it and now you are singing out in public for all to hear and your voice sounds more irritating then a female cat when she is on heat.

I wish I could that i could make one wish that no one could tamper with what so ever and make it turn out evil in any way at all.



Ariella

Granted. But to make that wish you have to study for a very long time to make sure you make it correctly. At the ripe old age of 98 after devoting yourself to your studies for most of your life you have a wish that cannot be turned in any way shape or form. The paper its worded on cracks the table from sheer weight. You make the wish.
You get the greatest bologna sandwich in history.
:p

I wish I was in utopia.

Granted but you are alone and do not enjoy it what so ever.

I wish I was on a tropical Island and no one could ruin it for me what so ever and I don't care if I am alone.



Ariella

Granted.....No one can ruin it but you never wished that ANYTHING because I see a big monkey ready to attack coming your way....ouch.....Was that your head??

I wish that I met my twin from another mother

granted. unfortunatley he/ or she is as ugly as you are(burn)

I wish I was a couple inches taller and then stop growing.

Granted you grow 5 inches taller. Entirely in the neck. Your new nickname is Giraffe, and your treated as a freak.

I wish I was never unhealthy again.

Granted you eat very little youre entire life until u are 109 and forgot what joy feels like




i wish my cast was off

Granted, Your cast is off but the bone is still broken (should have listened to your doctor smartass) and every move you make until it is healed is pure agony. And when it does heal it never is right again because you didn't leave the cast on.

I wish I had flossed when I was young.

Granted. But on your eighth birthday, you begin to floss your teeth, only to discover you were using enchanted evil floss!
It took control of your mind and body, slowly turning you into a human made entirely out of floss. your only desire is to punish everyone who doesn't floss their teeth twice a day.
With your super strength and floss like resilience, you beat people into submission. Then with your floss fingers, you floss their teeth for them. Ripping the teeth out in the process.
You become a vicious urban legend, and people cringe, covering their toothless mouths, whenever they hear of The Floss Monster.


I wish I had controllable telepathy, that I could turn on and off at will.

Granted but you get knocked out cold and when you wake up you are unable to turn it off as you have amnesia.

I wish I had a never ending packet of tim tams...:):):):)



Ariella

Granted. But its a new flavour of Tim Tams, Diet. They don't taste too bad, but the aftertaste is awful.
(Had to google 'Tim Tams', had no clue they were cookies.)

I wish for world peace, where everyone got to live, and no aliens come down to take over using a stick with a nail in it.

hahaha that is so funny....

Granted but five seconds later the sun exploded and the world froze over and we all died.

I wish that I was an alien riding a pink and purple pokadotted train through town...



Ariella

Granted. But its an open train car, and its minus 40 out with the wind chill. So on the fast moving train it feels more like minus 60 celcius. And as an alien you didn't think to wear clothes as you come from a nice warm jungle world.

I wish the sun exploded, shattered the Earth except for Canada. And the entire country of Canada hurtled through space, miraculously keeping everyone in Canada alive. Gently landing two days later, on an alien world that is a paradise.

Granted but the only problem with that is that I was visiting Canada at the time so unfortunately you will have to put up with me now...hahahahahaha now that is evil....mwahahahahahahahaaaa

I wish that everyone thought the Australian flag was better than the Union Jack.



Ariella

(Wow Australia has its own flag! Next you'll be telling me it's national anthem isn't Waltzing Matilda. ;) )

Granted. But Britain decides that Australia shouldn't have a better flag, and carpet bombs you out of existence in a surprise attack. Turning you back into a backwater colony.

I wish the world was one giant Loony Toons cartoon.

granted and you are daffy duck and constantly getting your beak (or whatever it is called) blown off.

(bomb Australia....how rude)

I wish Canada would be blown out of existence by me!!!!!!!



Ariella

Granted. You fire a Super Explosive Laser Death Beam at Canada blowing it up. But the Super Explosive Laser Death Beam is too strong.
It breaks the Earths crust, takes a left turn at the core and hits Australia from underneath, blasting it into space.

I wish no one was religious.

Granted and now everyone has goen on a major killing spree...and it looks lije fun so I am going to go join in....seeya

I wish that this thread would end now.



Ariella

Granted. Without this thread to keep your mind somewhat occupied you get really, really bored.

I wish I had a domovoi to help with all the housework.

I wish that Myst was wiped from this forum and never able to return and his computer got hit with a really nasty virus.

I guess my make-people-hate-you skills are in fine form.



Granted. He helps you with all the housework but you take it for granted and forget to leave out milk for him every night. Thus he feels all unwanted and emo. As a consequence your little domovoi murders you in cold blood and runs away to join Santa's factory, where he becomes a general manager due to outstanding performance- which our sad, dead friend Domoviye never appreciated.

I wish that I could have the same powers as Spiderman.

Granted and as you are using your web powers to soar over the buildings your webs run out and you go hurtling to the ground and land on a star picket and now you are dead.

I wish I was the Mickey Mouse.



Ariella

granted, you are now a 60 year old five foot tall rat (no evil spin needed)

I wish for australia.

Granted and now because you have australia all of us aussies are your responsibility and we are a very dependant sountry and rely on our countries owner for everything so all day long non stop you are running around after us doing everything for us and paying out substantial amounts of money to get help to take care of us all.

I wish I was me....



Ariella

granted.....no evil wish needed......BURN ....hahah im so evil.

i wish i could go on a shopping spree

Granted. But you can only go on a buying spree at the dollar store. And they're out of almost everything except party hats.

I wish I was eating a big bowl of cheerios that tasted good and wasn't tainted, with a clean spoon and bowl.

ok but they are so good that you cant stop eating them and then you eat so much that you puke all night long.then you body decides to give you diarhea just for the hell of it.

i wish I could go on vacation somewhere nice

Granted you have your vacation to somewhere nice but have a miserable time cause you end up laying in a hospital bed cause you got struck by lightning.

I wish that all my friends, family and myself could live very happy and fulfilling lives where nothing bad could ever possibly happen to us and the world could not blow up and we had everything that anyone could ever possibly need or want and nothing bad could ever happen.



Ariella

Granted, but you get so bored and wish for something exciting to happen. Subsequently, you all die.

I wish I didnt have a cough.

granted, you now sneeze hard enough to pee yourself (wasn't that better?)

I wish for AUSTRALIA without the needy Australians. (I hear the beaches are nice)

Granted but then Australia in flooded and no longer exists and all the Aussies are now in your country and there is no room for you and are kicked out of your country all together.

I wish that my mobile phone was wiped of everything on it and was stolen



Ariella

You move to my nieghborhood and within five minutes your wish is granted.

I wish all these damn aussies would get out of my bathroom (a million displaced aussies make for quite the line to pee)

Granted and I am just glad I ain't one of those Aussie's YIKES!!

I wish that the world was a beautiful place full of beautiful things.



Ariella

Granted but it's always been that way, and like it's always been you can't appreciate it because you're on the COMPUTER for the rest of your life.

I wish I could tell what peaple are really thinking.

Granted. You soon discover everyone hates you.

I wish I was gifted with Luck everywhere I went Luck followed me always givening me and my family good fortune

Granted. Luck always follows you. You and your family win the lottery, stay healthy, all of your enemies suffer horrible financial losses and never bother you again.
As you enjoy your mansion and good life, you decide to go for a swim in the ocean. As you swim back to shore a meteorite is knocked off course when it hits a space probe, and heads towards Earth at amazing speeds. It starts to burn up in the atmosphere until its the size of a pea. It lands on top of you killing you instantly as it drills a hole in your head.
But it was quick and painless, and your family gets a massive windfall from your life insurance policy.
Wasn't that lucky.


I wish everyone had a happy ending.

Granted Sadly you were missed out and a gigantic toilet seat from a space station crashed through the atmosphere and smacked into your fleshy body forcing your remains to combust for everyone to see.

I wish I was imune to bad evil wishes

Granted. Bad wishes can't affect you. Neither can good wishes.
Since God keeps everything going with wishes you vanish from the face of the Earth, having never existed.

I wish I had a comfortable chair I could and would sit in.

Granted but then it goes up in flames with you in it.


I wish that I was granted the one wish whhich no one coudl destroy

Granted. You get the wish, but because you made a wish to get that wish, its only the wording for the perfect undestroyable wish. You need another wish to make that wish.
Good luck finding another wish to make that wish.

I wish I was alive.

granted , you then wish you were dead and suffer depresion and commit suicide

i wish wishes did not exist

Aha, but if wishes did not exist, your wish for wishes to not exist does not exist, which mean wishes would exist, which would mean nothing would happen!

I wish a bowl of spaghetti dropped on your head. A bowl of smelly spaghetti.

Granted a bowll of spaghetti, smelly spaghetti drops on your head......

I wish no one knew me and did not reply to this and would never mention my name anywhere ever again

Granted. No one knows you, or anything. You're left all alone. Except by me. I'm not anyone, so I get to do anything I want. Which includes tormenting you.

I wish could have a bowl of good soup whenever I was hungry.

(now that is nasty Domoviye, very very nasty)

Granted but it is always way toooooo hot and by the time it has cooled enough for you to eat you aren't hungry anymore.

What would you do if the Grim Reaper appeared at your door?

What would you do if the Grim Reaper appeared at your door?
Isn't this the wishing game?

I wish the Grim Reaper appeared at Domoviye's door......

(leave me alone I haven't slept)

Not my fault you can't sleep like a normal person.

Granted. The Grim Reaper shows up at my door due to your wish.
He asks me for directions to your house, because he took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. For some reason I have your address handy and point him in the right direction.

I wish I didn't have to go to sleep, yet I felt rested all the time.

Granted you will never have to go to sleep agan cause you feel 100% awake all the time but eventually your body can't cope anymore and gives up on you but your mind is still wide awake.

I wish I could sleep for eternity

Granted. But you suffer horrible nightmares, that you can't wake up from. For all eternity.

I wish my body would never break down.

Granted and now there is continuosly bugs and things feeding form you cause you are an endless supply of food for them.


I wish that I could grant one person who was very deserving a miracle

Granted. But to give them the miracle you have to jump off a tall cliff without any safety equipment, and cacti at the bottom.

I wish zombies infested the world, and I could control all of them with my mind.

granted. but after a while, you become a zombie and then you're pretty much screwed, cuz you lost controll of the rest of them.

I wish I coould swim in the olympics

granted you swim in the olympics but you come in last and everyone shuns you because you sucked so bad. p.s. you also didnt know how to do anything but doggy paddle so you looked like moron.

I wish I never ran out of money

Granted. You die tomorrow with your wallet full of money.

I wish I successfully conned a small country out of several billion dollars, the conned government is overthrown due to lack of money, and all the files that have any information about me are burned as the capital explodes in violence, killing everyone who knows what I did, and I successfully escape.

(ok that is a really evil wish)

Granted, you now have billions of dollars that are from a country that no longer exists and are therefor worthless. (what good is a peso without the Mexican treasury to back it up)

I wish I had Gods personal phone number.

OK that was a good twist. I had not thought of that possibility.

Granted you have God's personal number and when you ring him he tells you that you are going to die in 5 seconds and you die talking to him on the phone.....

I wish that I was able to see into the future

granted-but all you see is your own death, and millions of other peoples death. And some lame things about politics that dont get you anywhere.Have fun with that.

I wish I never got sore

Granted and then Domoviye came along a stabbed you in the back and you had no idea cause you couldn't feel it and you died from the blood loss.


I wish I could get 8 hours sleep


Ariella

Granted. You get 8 hours of sleep. And never sleep again.

I wish I never cried. (It's kind of embarrassing when I come up with some new way to torment my main character in my big story, and I start to get a little teary eyed.)

Granted you never cry again, your eyed have totally dried up and turned to dust and now you cannot see either.

I wish I was given a Torana LC GTR XU-1 that wasn't stolen, I don't care the condition it is in as long as I have it................even if it has dead bodies in it I STILL WANT IT..................so no matter what this wish can't be ruined for me cause even if the world blows up or I die straight after getting it I will still have had it for at least 1 second........lol



Ariella

Granted. As you get handed the keys to the car, a contact poison on the keys enters through your skin, causing you intense pain, and you die. You never even see the car which is just around the corner in pristine condition.

I wish all the dogs, excluding seeing eye dogs and police dogs, turned into cats.

(at least I held the keys...I am happy to die now lol)

Granted and now they are all at your door a climbing through every window and attacking you cause they are all hungry.

I wish that I had an endless suppl of chocolate and that it never made me feel sick and never made me gain wieght

Granted. But a horde of little kids hearing of the chocolate comes running into your house, trampling you to death under their little feet.

I wish I wasn't allergic to anything.

Granted and now everyone else is allergic to everything and no one wants to know you and never visits you cause they are allergic to everything in you house.

I wish I had a dollar for every time some one told me I needed to get professional help from posting up really wierd things like what I did in the last person to reply thread....I'd be rich by now....lol....

(ps...I amnot actually this insane, but hey at least people get a laugh)

Granted. But the dollar is taxable. So you go up a couple of tax brackets, with the government taking more and more of your money. Leaving you really depressed, so you stop being so funny/weird. So you stop getting the dollar but because of a bureaucratic mix up, you stay in the same tax bracket. Which means you can't afford to pay your taxes, and the government keeps taking more and more of your money, finally confiscating everything you own, leaving you penniless on the street.
And eventually you get real professional help, but still no dollars.


I wish all legal currency was live cats.

I apologise but I cannot answer to this thread now as I can no longer be funny or wierd.

AAAAAhhhhhh anyways
Granted and now no one buys anything cause carrying around cats is too much effort and we all die.

I wish that I could wish

granted you wish for wordwizard to win the "last person to reply game"
Awe thanks ariella! such a sweet girl
I wish noone could take away my last person to reply- win.

Granted. But only because you die a horrible death and we decide to be nice and make you the winner. (So if you die anytime soon your wish will be granted.)

I wish I was less sarcastic.

granted but once your sarcasm begins to fade, a unbearable emotion pain (that you have been covering up with sarcasm) explodes through your body and you cry for years because you realize you were a fake....harsh

I wish i was more sarcastic and less mean mwaha haha

granted you wish for wordwizard to win the "last person to reply game"
Awe thanks ariella! such a sweet girl
I wish noone could take away my last person to reply- win.

not very nice wordwizard and will never happen....:D :D

Granted you are now less mean and everyone walks all over you and all you do is give out sarcastic remarks and just let them walk all over you and you are abolutely miserabe now.

I wish that you would all disappear....:D :eek:

Granted. We all disappeared. Now we're invisible and tormenting you. Which is even worse then usual because you can't even defend yourself now.

I wish my niece didn't have a cold. (Twist that one without looking like evil baby hating monsters.)

Granted, she gave it to you and all your family. So now that poor little girl is left to take care of all you sick whiny slobs as you nag her to make you more chicken soup. (aren't you nice to wish that wish)

I wish George Bush wasn't stupid.

Granted.
But now they get rid of him (because they only want dumb people) and he's replaced with someone even more stupid...if that's possible.

I wish I had a horse.

Granted, but it gets fed too much oats gets too fiesty, rears up and strikes out with it's hooves and strikes you in the face killing you instantly

I wish that I was able to disappear and never be thought of and never be found and it was as though I never existed.

Granted. But you can never turn back to normal.

I wish I could turn anything I wanted into a cute, fuzzy, playful kitten, at will.

Granted. Besides your obvious kitten fetish, which hopefully does not encompass the sexual factor, people start getting detached from you as you would rather play with kittens. Which, like said, may or may not involve the sexual factor. Hey, who am I to judge? Kittens can be very sensual....to psychos.

I wish that my hand was always smellier than even you.

Granted but the only problem is it smells of womans perfume.


I wish I was Myst

granted-you are now male ...hahaha men are not half as hot as women. women are like art lady -come on now..!!!
I wish I could go on a wonderful vacation

Granted. You go on a wonderful vacation. Every possible thing that could go right does.
You return home, your house was robbed. Your lawn burned down, taking your house with it. Your charred car is on blocks. Your pets are mad that you left them all alone, your best friend is pregnant and having a nervous breakdown. All the cheques you left at home have been used to buy porn. The bank lost all your information. And your luggage arrived in Tokyo.
But you kept your camera full of really nice pictures.


I wish everyone agreed with me.

Granted....but they only agree about the bad things about yourself. we agree that you are going nowhere with your life, we agree that your a nobody, we agree that you belong in a mental institue (all those fun evil thoughts that go on in your brain...everyone has them)

I wish I had a unicorn

granted and it hews you with its horn then eats your remains

i wish i was impervious to bad wishes

Granted. You are impervious to bad wishes. So no one can wish ill on you. Unfortunately the giant meteorite isn't a wish, it crashes into the Earth and everyone dies.

I wish I had a credit card with 500 dollars left on it, in my hands right now, that I could legally use.

granted but the only thing you are able to charge on it on are jelly beans. glorious jellybeans, and then you run out of money and the interest rates go through the roof and by the end of the month you owe millions.

I wish I had some jellybeans to eat right now, and not the harry potter jelly beans either. cause those are gross. I mean reallly yummy jellybeans

Granted. You get a bowl full of the sweetest, tastiest, jelly beans ever made by man.
You eat the bowlful. One week later in the emergency room the doctors confirm you have type 2 diabetes because of the huge sugar dose you got from the jelly beans.

I wish I was perfectly healthy.

boom perfectly healthy and you get run over by a bus. At least you felt great before that happened right?

I wish I had permenant make up that looked great on me. everybody in the world thought so as well.

Granted. Your makeups great and it never comes off. Unfortunately you get the body of a 90 year old woman. But your face looks awesome.

I wish I always knew exactly what to say.

granted you are so perfectly articulate that people just end up wanting to smack you. oh...domo always knows everything. he is perfect. i can never live up to him. lets hunt him down and punch him in the throat!

I wish I wasnt so shy

Granted. Your overcome your shyness and write a book about how others can overcome their shyness as well. It's shown on Opera and you get to do a show with her talking all about how you became so confident.
Then you show them the little vial of herbs that helped inspire you. You're arrested before you can leave the building for transporting illegal substances across the border and go to jail for a very long time.

I wish I wasn't so shy as well.

granted you are the exact opposite. you are now obnoxious. Now instead of people thinking you are endearing, they think of you as the idiot who thinks he is so great.

I wish I had a life plan thought out. or at least my career figured out

Granted. You have everything planned out perfectly. Too bad life keeps putting barriers in the way. You know what job you need, but it never comes up. You apply for a course that will let you begin a brand new career where you can plan exactly how and when you'll retire, and its canceled due to lack of students. Too bad.

I wish I was in Asia right now, healthy, and not in jail, and not in North Korea.

granted you go to asia but get the Clap. have fun with that .

i wish i was smarter. On the genius level.

granted you go to asia but get the Clap. have fun with that .

i wish i was smarter. On the genius level.

Granted. You become a Savant. If anyone asks you questions about math, engineering and the like you have the answer, but otherwise you're autistic.

I wish I was Greek God returned to the Earth, ready to smite my enemies and seduce beautiful women.

ok but you returned without your peter....(peter as in genitals)

i wish i was a queen

Granted. You become the official Queen of the local tavern. You get a free beer every night, but everyone keeps expecting you to entertain them with jokes and things, so you never get to actually drink your beer.

I wish I was abducted by friendly aliens who wanted to make me really happy for the rest of my very long life.

ok but the only thing that makes you happy these days is anal probing.

I wish i was queen of canada haah

(As long as I'm happy, I'm happy.)

Granted. You become the Queen of England. But you do such a bad job that Canada finally decides to stop being even a half hearted monarchy, and depose you via revolution. You spend the rest of your days in jail in the Yukon.


I wish I was God.

granted. but nobody believes you. and you are stuck with a zilion prayers you must try and decifer w hich ones should be answered. you never get any sleep, you are resposible for a whole world, and people often curse your name.

i wish i had a broom i can fly on. witch style

Granted. But it has ants. Whenever you fly around on it they get into your underwear.

I wish I had 20/20 vision.

granted but now you see how ugly you actually are--BUUURN!

I wish I had darker skin

Granted. Your skin is so dark it sucks in light. Your kidnapped by scientists and studied for the rest of your life.

I wish I didn't have a headache right now.

granted now you feel lightheaded.

i wish i never had to pay for gasoline

Granted. But thats because oil vanished off the face of the Earth. Civilization collapses, hope you like scrounging through debris.

I wish I had a really nice shirt that fit.

granted you now own a 70's disco shirt and hey as a bonus you get a hat with a spinning disco ball hanging off the brim-arent you cool

I wish i had more energy

Granted you have that much energy that you never sleep and never stay still and then suddenly you break both of you arms and both of your legs and can't move anywhere and you go insane cause you are full of energy and nee to get up and move but you can only move your eyes cause you also have a neck brace.

I wish I was able to go to sleep right now and not wake up for 24 hours

granted but 6 hours into the sleep your house catches fire and you wake up 18 hours later in the burn ward
I wish Junk food was good for you

Granted it is good for you but everything is now called junk food even CELERY AND BRUSSEL SPROUTS!!!!!!!

I wish that dogs meowed like a cat and cats sang like a bird and birds moo like cows and cows said ooger booger all day long.

Granted. But the day after becomes the day of the animals and they all go mad. However everyone else has the sense to hide indoors but you don't and thus you decide to say hello to the animals. Sadley The animals turn on you violently. First of all the Crows and Ravens come down and painfully pluck out both of your eyes then in a blind panic you step on your own eye balls squashing them as you do. Then the pigs start attacking you and begin eating your feet. the pain is soo bad that you pass out. As you wake up you see large baboons jumping up and down on you breaking your rib cage. As you manage to still live after they go a cow comes up to you and starts chomping on your left hand.
Then come the lions and they eat your arms and whats left of your legs. Finally though you still breath with your intestines hanging out pouring blood everywhere and your nose beaten and broken the Vultures come down and eat you alive. You feel every piece of the igonising pain for hours before finally you die.


I wish I was Un-harmable untouchable from bad wishes whatever they are.

Granted. No bad wish can harm you, and you know it. Feeling like the king of the world you go out for a walk. But since no bad wishes can affect you, you don't look both ways before crossing the street and a car hits you.
No bad wishes involved there.

I wish I didn't have a cold, flu or any other illness right now. (Not being able to breathe sucks.)

granted you are sooo insanley healthy that it feel wierd. you start to get paranoid that this great healthy feeling is somehow wrong......then you mentally insane with worry.

I wish i was photogenic

Granted someone took a a picture of your been shot in the head. But it caught your good side just before you died.

I wish no harm came to me or that i ever suffered in pain from life and bad wishes.

Granted. Only good things happen to you. You become so happy you fall into a blissful coma where nothing bad ever happens to you as you lie in a hospital with a stupid grin on your face.

I wish my house had a second bathroom.

Granted but your second bathroom only has a bird bath in it.

I wish I was a ballon

Granted. A child pokes holes in you before you're even blown up.

I wish I owned a jet.

granted, but there are serious engine problems and you crash into the jungle and bugs lay worms in your skin as you try to find you way out and you slowly are eaten from the inside out.

I wish my nails would stop growing but never break

Granted. They get covered in metal which prevents them from growing, but doesn't break. Children make fun of your nails on the street, and they're razor sharp. Which makes you cut yourself and others really easily.

I wish income tax was easier to do.

granted. they come out with a new way of doing income taxes and any joe on the street can do it within minutes.....however just before they came out with the new way to do these taxes you opened up a "I will do your income taxes" buisness. you drained all your money into your dream company only to have it dashed 20 minutes after you opened.

I wish I had a really great memory

Granted. You get a really great memory, photographic no less. But it came too quickly. Not knowing how to deal with it the days events keep on flashing into your mind whenever you try to sleep. Whenever you try to remember something, you remember everything from the day you learned it to the present. Its too much and drives you insane.

I wish I was a hero.

granted now you have all these responsibilites-people depending on you-and no super powers to back you up. You eventually because exhausted and fall asleep in an alley and die of exposure.(because your in northern ontario and it gets really cold up there bahah)

I wish kids would go to bed when they are told.

Granted, but now they do everything they're told (no matter what it is) good or bad.

I wish I was a dragon.

Granted but then along came a kinght in shining armour and slayed you so now you are a dead dragon.

I wish that the ext person to reply to this would disappear of the face of the universe.

harsh-granted.
i dissapear off the face of this earth, and my whole family is devastated without me. My 4 yr old daughter grows up without me and you have to live with the guilt of taking away her mommy. You heartless person.

I wish to have a fabulous tasting dinne that is good for me and will not make me die or explode in anyway shape or form.

Granted. I disappear from the Universe.
As you go for a walk, a car suddenly careens onto the sidewalk. You have time to notice that no one is driving, but theres a terrified passenger screaming. It slams into you and uses your broken body to batter through your front door.
As you lay dying you hear the passenger yelling a name, asking what happened to "Domoviye".

I wish I was Satan. Not the Satan who's chained up in Dante's Inferno, but the cool one in modern media who walks the Earth corrupting mortals for fun and profit.

(bugger took to long to write it down.)

Granted you have the most amazing dinner you could ahve ever imagined or dreamt of placed infront of you, you get to take one bite of it and then batman comes racing in eats it all infront of you and any leftovers and \burps in your face and leaves you with n othing more than dirty dishes to clean up.

I wish that I was able to find my mobile phone.

hahahaha I think we all kind of began posting at the same time here hahahaha

hahahah ya.
ok you had a ridiculous time lastnight partying with your friends. you had way to much rum to drink and can barely remember a thing......your phone rings.you can hear it...you can feel it....but you cant find it..........have you ever seen jackass?...the toy car..............(if not disregard this comment because im not explaining)

I wish my batteries in my camera never die

Granted. You find your mobile phone in your chest, right about where your heart used to be. Your heart is on the table by the couch.

Granted. You put new batteries into your camera, and promptly lose your camera. So its never used and the batteries never die.

(This wish is too good to leave.)
I wish I was Satan. Not the Satan who's chained up in Dante's Inferno, but the cool one in modern media who walks the Earth corrupting mortals for fun and profit.


<Son of a B@*$#>:

hahahaha hilarious both those answers are absolutley hilarious, very sick but hilariously funny.

Granted you are now Satan but then along comes an angel as banishes you to a meadow full of beautiful butterflies and flowers are you can't leave there at all (yer I know is lame but I couldn't think of anything else.)
Or you try to corrupt mortals but you soonn realise that there are no mortals cause they are all gods and you have been walking along modern earth at all you fool.

I wish I was able to think of a better response to Domoviye's wish dang nab it. lol

Granted. You think of this wish:
Granted. You become Satan. But the next day the Rapture begins. Your armies headed by the Anti-Christ march against the Army of God. You have superior numbers, weapons, and skill, but the Army of God has, !GOD!
And since God is a big Sissy he warps reality so that even though his army is facing a thousand to one odds he wins, and bitch slaps you down into Hell for another few thousand years. And you have to listen to the insipid music that covers the Earth for the thousand years of peace and prosperity, until God gets bored and lets you raise your head again. And you're chained up in a glacier just like Dante's Inferno.
As you think of this wish, you were bestowed with mystical powers that made the first thing you thought of real. Guess who's side you're on, Apocalypse bringer.:D

I wish I could light cigarettes with a simple thought. (Cool party trick)

granted but then you die of lung disease cause by second hand smoke.(or if you smoke then ...just normal smoke bahah)

I wish no lint would stick to my pants....that and cat hair.....

Granted. I sticks to your hair instead.

I wish I hadn't gouged a hole in the tip of my middle finger yesterday. (Cleaning slicers can be dangerous to your health, and make typing painful.)

granted instead you cut an arterie. have fun with that.

i wish i liked the taste of eggs(breakfast time would be so much easier)

Granted. You like eggs so much you can't stand anything else. Breakfast is easier now, but the other meals are a pain in the butt. Most restaurants don't serve eggs after 11am. So you can only go to greasy spoon type places. Your social life really suffers.

I wish I had an airplane ticket to Vietnam right now, free, and with enough time to get to the airport.

granted you make the free flight to vietnam but someone shoots the airplane down because because word gets out that your spintoothbrush is a bomb

i wish i had 100% of my hearing(headphone and hereditary are no good)

Granted. But to do that your brain had to be rearranged. Your practically blind now.

I wish I was nicer and less sarcastic.

Granted-The secret that no girl likes to admit is that she likes it when guys are a bit mean to her(not even made up little fact for ya).....no idea why-just the way it is. and now you have no sarcasm which is why people liked you-so now that you lost that you have nothing and nobody.

I wish I could show more emotion without blubbering like a fool.(im an "extremes" kind of girl)

augh! wrong post!

anyways, granted. You show emotion in the way of slitting your wrists because you're sad that the world hates you.

I wish that I had complete and total control over the element of fire.

Granted. But your body turns into fire as well. Lava to be precise. The air cools you off, and whenever it rains your skin hardens. The only way to live is to be immersed in lava. Hope you live close to a volcano.

I wish I was perfect, including perfectly likable.

granted you are perfectly ugly, perfectly annoying, perfectly deformed, perfectly stupid. ....and people come all around to see you at teh freak show because your perfectly likeable

i wish i didnt have to go grocery shopping ever again, yet still had a never ending supply of fresh yummy food

Granted. You never have to go shopping again, and your house is always full of fresh yummy food. In fact its so full your house explodes from the sheer amount of yummy food. And it won't stop. Vancouver Island is smothered in food by the end of the week.
They fire bomb the island trying to stop the flow of food, but it doesn't stop. North America is covered within a year, even as they transport, eat, burn and destroy the food. The Pacific Ocean rises as the water is displaced by the food. The Atlantic rises as well.
In a last desperate act they nuke Vancouver Island trying to stop the flow of fresh yummy food. But its not enough. Now its radioactive, fresh, yummy food.
Within a decade the Earth is covered in fresh yummy food.
Eventually there is so much fresh yummy food it changes the gravitational force of the Earth and the moon crashes into it. Finally the fresh, yummy, food stops.

I wish I had a never ending supply of good Vodka.

granted, you turn into an alcaholic and loose all the ones you love, you then die of alcahol poisoning

i wish babies didnt cry

Granted. All the babies die, and none are ever born again. Good bye human race.

I wish my bones were as strong as steel, yet never caused me any problems.

granted, your blood eventually corrodes and rusts through your bones giving you blood poisoning

i wish te worl would spin in the opposite direction

Granted. As it stops spinning suddenly, violent earthquakes rip across the surface of the Earth. And gravity temporarily weakens significantly.
As it starts spinning again, more earthquakes tear apart the Earths crust. Everyone dies.

I wish I was a major stockholder (Not actually in charge though) for several multi-billion dollar industries, with several top of the line truthful, accountants working for me.

granted but all the companies simutaneously make bad decidions and their buisness' plummet. The market crashes and you in turn loose all your money and jump out of a window.


I wish I was healthier

Granted. Everyone else becomes sick, so you have to look after them all.

I wish I was always clean.

granted you are always clean of drugs and alcohol but your body is always filthy

I wish I used more of my brain.

Granted. You use more of your brain. Specifically the part that lets you see the supernatural. You go nuts from all the normally invisible monsters, ghosts, and horrors that are constantly watching us, trying to find a way in.

I wish I had a normal human sleep schedule.

granted now you get so much sleep that it makes you sluggish-and that sucks

i wish i had an ear horn-those things are cool

Granted. You get a giant ear horn. The bull who lost his horn and wants it back is right behind you. I hope your not wearing a red shirt.

I wish I had a constant body temperature of 21 degrees celcius. No more fevers or freezing for me.

granted but you never feel the delishousness of a warm warm bath or the refreshingness of a cool lake or ocean.

I wish I was a better swimmer.

Granted you become a mermaid. Too bad its while your swimming at the local pool. Say hello to your new life as a science experiment.

I wish I was could recharge electronic devices at will.

granted but you charge them so much that they explode and become useless.

I wish that i could walk on water

Granted. But you can't walk on land anymore.

I wish I could change the tv channel at will.

granted but you cant stop changing it so it just goes around and around and around.

I wish I never had to brush my teeth and they would stay perfect

Granted. Your teeth become encased in glass. Unfortunately your teeth are still in your mouth.

I wish I was always at my optimum weight.

granted you are at an optimum weight but have cancer and die ....harsh

I wish i liked massages done by a professional masseus-(creeps me out having people i dont know touch me)

Granted. YOu like it so much you spend all your money on it, and end up on the street, getting massages by random street people.

I wish only shows I liked where on tv.

granted but you get sick of those shows because they stop producing new episodes and your watching the same lame reruns you have watched a thousand times before.

i wish that i could spend a day being a cartoon

Granted. Its exactly like Beavis and Butthead.

I wish I had a better memory.

granted
but you only remember the bad times in your life-detail for detail.

I wish my eyes didnt hurt.(wierd eh)

Granted. Your eyes fall out. But its quite painless.

I wish I never had writers block.

granted but you try my method of yoga and pull a muscle in both hands and cant write even though the writers block is gone

I wish I was a millionaire with real money in canadian dollars.

Granted but it was gained through drug trade and you just got busted and your empire fallen and now you are being put to death for being the worlds biggest drug lord.....hehehe

I wish I was the leader of the Mafia...

<gotta make it interesting somehow lol>

Granted. But your lover is an undercover FBI agent. Your best friend has just been hired by your competition. Your guard dogs were infected with rabies. Your cat is wired. The Yakuza is invading your turf. The Russian Mob put a price on your head since you took over their smuggling operation. Your bird is actually a clever bomb thats set to go off the next time you feed it. Most of your men have just been assassinated by someone you had ordered killed along with his entire family. And the police utterly demolished your prostitution ring when their bribe money was stolen on the way to the drop off point.

And your Boss is about to drop by to hear how things are going.


I wish I was Spider Man.

Granted. You replace Spidey.
However, without the original's scientific proficiency, experience in the field and mental determination you get severely ass-pounded by villains.

Plus, you become a fictional character.

And Marvel goes down the hill.


I wish that your "mom" told you who your REAL parents were.

Granted. Hello Brother. could I borrow a twenty, I'm a little broke right now. Your Mom is letting me stay in your old room I hope that isn't a problem.

I wish I was ruled the world with a very loyal cadre of elite soldiers that could outfight any army in the world.

Granted but all the women go after you because you have so much power. women and women want you-and you have them all-unfortunately you get the Hep.
Have fun with that.


I wish I could get a break from my household

Granted but instead of your household you now have mine, screaming kids arguementative parents who are both senial and your new father keeps shooting holes in the ceiling saying there was a squirrel and an irritating sister that won't go away, your phone never stops rigning day or night and you can't turn it off or turn it down, your power is about to be cut off, your kids have the measels and you have been quaranteened. HAH
<actually that sounds like fun>

I wish that I didn't just spend $2000 on clothing at a clothing party

Granted you spent 2000 at a tupperware party.

I wish that no matter what happened to me, one hour later I could get up brush myself off, say "Wow I didn't think I'd make," and continue with my day.

granted but each time that happens you loose a bit of your soul untill one day you are waling around as a souless monster.

I wish I never had aches or pains after a day of activities

Granted. You don't have a body anymore. No more aches, or pains, after an active day of doing whatever disembodied minds do.

I wish I lived in a fifty million dollar mansion, so that I could sell it and live off the money I earned.

Granted. But it's a sixteenth century castle that has never been updated. There is no electricity or plumbing and none of the buyers could care less that it was previously owned by Henry the Eighth.

I wish I could go on an extended vacation to my own private island.

Granted. It's one of the little islands in the Pacific that were used for nuclear testing.

I wish I had an evil genius lair inside an extinct volcano, with all the minions to keep it working, and all of the fun gadgets, evil genius hide outs have, and a small airport and harbour so I could make it into a tourist hotspot, and everything is fully insured for everything including acts of God.

granted but you trip over a gadget and break your face and become semi retarded. since your so hideous nobody comes to your vacation spot and since your semi retarded it is fairly difficult to use any of the equipment you have

I wish i had wings like a fairy

Granted. Someone thinks your a bug, and squashes you flat with a giant fly swatter.

I wish I had a really fun job for life.

Granted. You died the day you started work.

I wish I was Immortal with my youthful features and never suffered bad luck.