Granted but your family was left out of the wish and as you remain youthful your family ages faster every day and they die and you end up alone and miserable for the remainder of the worlds existance.

I wish that nothing bad ever happened to me or my family and we lived in perfect harmony and happy forever more and nothing bad could ever comeof this wish no matter what.

Granted but as the genie died of the overlaod the wish failed and you all ended up in Hell forever been tortured and tormented

I wish Chickens could fly

Granted chickens can fly and they all fly around following you non stop pecking out your eyes and at your head and eventually killing you but it is a very long and agonising death that takes a good few days but nnothing you do can stop them from attacking you.
(it's lame but all i could think of lol)

I wish that the sky was pink

Granted. Photosynthesis stops working so all the plants die except for the ones in special greenhouses. The animals begin dropping like flies from lack of food, and the various countries are forced to survive on severe rations.
For the next two years only the people deemed necessary for survival eat well. The rest survive on starvation rations, toiling at various engineering projects to make the sky blue again. And trying not to go mad staring at the bizarre colour.
After three years only the most important people are fed. You end up in one of the mass funeral pyres set up to remove all the people dying of starvation.

I wish only good things happened in the world.

granted people never die because that would be a bad thing, now the world is over populated and you can barely move down the street. But thats a good thing because it means the world is thriving right...

I wish I had a time machine

granted sadly you got lost in the time warp and spent your remaining days looking into the Abyss of darkness.

I wish the sky was perminantly grey.

Granted. The sky becomes gray. Because it turns to cement. It falls and crushes everyone.
(This sounded more interesting than any more logical idea I could come up with.)

I wish I wasn't allergic to anything.

granted. The sun blew up and now died of the cold.



i wish that money grew on trees

Granted. But they're over picked, and inflation skyrockets, until the economy collapses, screaming in agony and begging for mercy.
The new currency that arises out of the chaos is made out of human bone.

I wish I had the only existing money bush in my basement, that grew legal US dollars, Euro's, and Chinese money.

granted. you live in england:D


i wish i was dutch

Granted.




What? Thats punishment enough.


I wish I was idolized by the masses.

granted they love you. Too bad your corrupt and screw everybody over in every step you take.

I wish I was clear on what masses meant.

granted you now know exactly what it means and wondered why you bothered to find out in the first place.

I wish that the world was just a giant bubble

granted....POP.AAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh splat.

I wish I had a horse and all the necessities to take care of it.

Granted but it dies seconds later and you go bankrupt and now are homeless and live in a cardboard box.

I wish my kitten would stop attacking me.

granted now it runs away and never comes back.

I wish I would win the last person to reply thread....

granted you win that thread but you are now banned goodbye and the thread deleted and no one knows that you won it except for you

I wish I knew what was inside that box over there

Granted. The giant alien shapeshifter, jumps out of the box, tears your head off, drinks your blood and makes your skull into a drinking cup.
And just to be really mean it then breaks all your prized possessions.

I wish I could control snow with my mind.

Granted, but your mind thinks of lots of things so you get so much snow it covers and suffocates you.

I wish I was rich.

Granted. You become the richest person in the world. As you look over your billion dollar art collection safely locked away in a dry, airtight, vault, the door closes, locking you inside. Before anyone finds you in your 100 acre house, you suffocate to death.

I wish I had all the books in the world, with the facilities, staff and money to look after them properly. With a special section to burn all the romance books in a giant fire.

hahahah granted to bad you go blind seconds after attaining all these books and too bad you also loose feeling in your finger tips(braille)


I wish I could go camping this weekend and the weather be amazing warm and not rainy or snowy or windy

Granted. A grizzly bear eats you while your camping.

I wish I could control the weather.

granted but now there are droughts and floods everwhere because your to lazy to control it all the time. people die-your fault.


i wish I had more hobbies

Granted you get more hobbies. You now have lots of hobbies to choose from. So at the start of everyday you write one handed for one hour in the morning. Then, depending on the day your jog, power walk, crochet, knit, sew, make videos, and or take pictures for one hour. Then you do aerobics, my lures, woodwork, weld, paint, model, or shave dogs for one hour. Each day you do one of your hobbies each hour for the whole day. You don't have anymore time for your family, your hygiene, paying bills, or anything, theres always one last ship in a bottle to build, picture to paint, or Elvis to shave onto a dogs butt. Your life collapses.

I wish I had more time.

granted, you get to much time and live to see the end of ze world

you forgot a wish einstein.


i wish I was as smart as einstein

Granted. But you brain increases in size by about an inch. Your skull stays the same size. You get a stroke and die.

I wish my skin was perfect.

granted....its perfectly retched. it has moles and warts and pimples and melanoma....perfectly disgusting. oh ya and its chapped.


I wish I could speak latin

Granted. Thats all you can speak though. English and any other language you might know are pushed right out of your brain. So you can now only speak to the few people who know Latin.

I wish I never got tension headaches.

granted-you now get all the other kinds of headaches all the time...day and night. No meds help it and unexplainably your head falls off.

I wish I never got sent a disturbing email showing a dead guy....very traumatizing

Granted. You get a dead guy delivered to your door instead.

I wish I never got a headache, and my head didn't fall off, explode, or stop working.

granted-now you only get severe body aches -they are exruciating and you wish that you would get a minor headache rather than body pains

I wish you felt happy rather than sad when somebody died. But not happy enough for there to be murders. Just happy that they have moved on to a diferent world..?

Granted. You suffered a heart attack because of your been so happy the strain was too much for your heart.

I wish the sky was grey

Granted the sky is now grey and constantly raining and the world floads and everyone dies the end.

I wish I could go to the moon and never return

Granted. Since you don't own a space suit, you freeze to death since you end up on the dark side of the moon, and asphyxiation, and from being in a vacuum. Astronauts find your body in a few centuries.

I wish I controlled the internet.

granted. you control the internet but soon loose your mind from watching to much internet porn


I wish Everything always went my way

Granted. Everything goes your way. Including traffic, planets, asteroids, the moon. As everything in the galaxy goes your way, gravity is thrown for a loop, and the Universe collapses in on itself. In several tens of billions of years enough matter collects around the last point of your existence, and another Big Bang occurs.
(Yes I was reaching. You got a problem with that.)

I wish my line of credit was full again.

granted...but this is a new credit card. the other one is not paid off. You now have yet another debt to pay off. this depresses you and you decide to commit suicide.

I wish Food appeared when you asked for it.

Granted. But the food is diseased. It spreads a horrifying plague that kills everyone.

I wish I could point at a wall think of a colour and the wall would be perfectly painted that colour.

granted, but then the walls get angry after so many color changes and they start to bleed an moan and tell you to get out. Now your homless with colorful powers.

Iwish I could be smart enough to be a brain surgeon

granted but every one you work on turns into rats, trying to take over the world.

I wish life was perfect

granted. its perfectly horrid. Ugly people-ugly lives, ugly personalities. etc

i wish I never had to go to the dentist. eep cavity

Granted. Your teeth fall out.

I wish I could read every language in the world.

granted you can read it but you stil dont understand it.

I wish I could write and speak and understand every language in the world

Granted everyone drops down dead leaving you alone for remainder of your lifewhich is very short considering the alien invasion which was very quick because everyone is dead. The aliens tormented you for a while until you couldn't last any longer and gave in to death.


I wish I was a Black Raven

Granted. A farmer shoots you for eating his crop.

I wish I was a Thunder Bird.

Granted A Big Black Raven swoops down and eats you up.

I wish I was The Raven King

Granted. Nice title. Little children make fun of you as you walk down the street with your feathery crown shouting "I am the Raven King!"

I wish I ruled the universe with my God like powers.

Granted. The Universe is the name of a new video game which you are now trapped in for all eternity.

I wish I was funny.

Granted. You're now funny looking. People laugh everytime they see you.

I wish everyone in the world was nice.

ganted they're all nice and mean:D :D

I wish I was you

Haha. That's evil enough in itself.

I wish I had the power to change the world.

granted and you change the world into everyone's worst nightmare, the lands are ravished by fire and hot molten larva streams through every river and ocean and everyone dies within the first few hours of the changes that you made.

I wish that nothing could possibly go wrong with this wish

Granted. Your 'perfect' wish causes the world to implode due to cosmic imbalance.

I wish I wasn't shy.

Granted. Now you greet everyone on the street, and talk to everyone you meet. You stop going to work because your so busy talking to various people you meet. You end up a bum on a street corner. But you're so friendly people give you enough money to stay alive.

I wish my glasses were always clean, and never got lost, or broken.

Granted. But the result is an extremely heavy pair of glasses that look incredibly ugly and keep breaking your nose.

I wish I was an excellent figure skater.

Granted. Some chemicals fall on you that makes you more agile stronger, and have perfect balance. You become the greatest figure skater in the world.
Only problem is your body changes. It becomes colder, more like ice. So you have to make sure to avoid temperatures above freezing. Otherwise you start melting. Fortunately you can still skate. Hope you don't mind sleeping in a freezer, and never want to go to the beach.

I wish I was perfectly wonderful in every way.

Granted. you become the most hated person on the planet and are run down and brutally killed by those opposed to perfect wonderfulness.

I wish my bed had a soft mattress.

Granted. The soft mattress is full of unusually vicious bed bugs. They infest your room, and make it practically unlivable.

I wish I could control insects.

Granted. By controlling insects you become accustomed to their mannerisms and start acting like insects.

I wish the light would turn on when I snap my fingers.

Granted. But to turn them off you have to fart.

I wish I could get a fast connection to the internet anywhere.

Granted. The wish Genie understand this to mean you will personally be connected to the internet and your supercharged with information until your brain fries.... I wonder where you would put the cable...

I wish I had a decent wardrobe.

granted. You not are thr proud owner of a decent 80's wardrobe.

I wish I enjoyed cooking and was really good at it.

Granted. You become a really good cook and you enjoy it so much. You cook up spectacular meals every day, and everyone enjoys them. But its not enough. You lose any sense of satisfaction in simple meals, and push yourself to make ever more complicated meals.
Finally you come across the ultimate recipe. You cook all weekend preparing it. But in your exhausted state, you let the rice overcook by 10 seconds. Unknowingly you add it to the chocolate, mint, lobster sauce.
Adding the too hot rice to the unstable concoction already dangerously close to the edge, is too much. Your house explodes in a nuclear explosion, taking most of the city with it.
(I think I should go to bed now.)

I wish I could sleep like a cat.

granted-but you get woken up with fur balls in your throat.
(sorry I havent been around lately guys-computer+viruse=hell)
I wish I didnt get headaches or any aches for that matter

Alaka-Zam - You're a statue.

I wish for that which is unobtainable.

(Wordwizard, its too bad about your computer. Any idea when it will be fixed?)

Granted. As the unobtainable comes slowly towards you, its weird aura kills you and everyone within one mile of it. As it finally lands on your dessicated corpse, everything explodes.

I wish I could stop, and restart time, with no bad side effects to my mind or body.

Granted. But the Time Police hunt you down. And they have physics-defying batons. Really big ones.

I wish that I had a special reality-weaver that could make anything I wanted come true.

Granted. You get the machine, but as your pondering what you want to do first, you accidentally fall down some stairs banging your head really badly. In your confused and hurt state you wished you were dead so that the pain would simply stop.
So you die.

I wish I controlled all reality.

(ya its fixed now-I just have to pick it up (this computer is ancient and takes like 2 minutes to post something hahaha)

granted but everyone hates you because reality sucks

I wish I got more respect

(Glad to hear your computer problems are almost over.)
Granted you get more respect. As the rising star in the adult entertainment industry.

I wish I could make people vanish of the face of the Earth, with a simple wish.

haahah nice evil wish reply hahaha

granted but suddenly you start doing in your dreams and you get so out of control that you wake up and you dont know anybody left on the earth.

I wish I knew and remembered everyone on earth

Granted. You go catatonic from all the knowledge.

I wish I had absolute control over, and understanding of my dreams?

Granted. Trouble is you will never remember another dream agian.

I wish I could take a S@!t on the neighbours garden. Just might stop their dog doing that to my lawn.

Granted. You do that. And the neighbours dog never does it in your yard again. Because your thrown into a mental ward because you S@!T in the neighbours yard.

I wish I never sunburned.
(Doing road work in direct sunlight tends to harm the skin.)

granted...your skin now turns bright purple in the sun and instead of hurting-it tickles.

I wish I was not ticklish

Granted - instead of skin you now have scales.

I wish Johnny Depp was deeply in-love with me.

granted he wont leave you alone and he is all over you all the time. Too bad his breath is attrocious and smells up the whole room and everytime e goes to kiss you -you pass out.

I wish I didnt have sensitive teeth

Granted your teeth fall out. That was easy.

I wish I had mindless, invisible servants that followed my every command, and kept my house clean automatically, like the ones you read about in fairy tales.

Granted, and like all really good fairy tales a fairy godmother comes and rescues all the poor oppressed servants from your draconian rule. And continuing with that thought you get your just desserts by being turned into a pickle or being ate by a dragon.

I wish for everyone to be happy all the time.

Granted. An accident happens at a chemical factory. Something weird happens as all the chemicals join together, and get into the air. A new drug the equivalent of morphine spreads throughout the atmosphere, giving everyone a permanent high.
As we sit in drugged stupors, starving to death in our own wastes, we're really happy.

I wish I had access to a constant supply of one million US dollars wherever I was, at all times.

granted your now in jail for life and the onyl thing you can buy is a body guard and a carton of smokes

I wish for what ever I wish for without condition or referent.

Your ****in wish sucks?????

I would wish for a locked room,condom,some random hot chick.....and shes not crazy or has std's,no seafood,and she is willing

Granted. She's 13.

I wish I didn't have to work for a living, but still had a comfortable, interesting lifestyle.

your wish ****ing sucks???

I don't know about that, but your imagination certainly does my Italian-horsey friend. Anyway, what was I thinking - posting something that required an education to solve... Doh.

Anyway -

I wish I didn't have to work for a living, but still had a comfortable, interesting lifestyle.

Shazzoom - you are transformed into an easy chair on the Talk-Show of your choice. Forever to suffer the backsides and flatulence of low-grade celebrity.

Since you forgot a wish, here goes.

I wish I could control the weather all around the world, twisting it to do whatever I want with a simple thought, and if I am ever killed, or rendered unable to control it, the weather reverts back to normal without any bad side effects.

granted the only offset is that the rain is always hovering inches above your head.

I wish I was a shape shifter

Granted. Unfortunately as time passes you forget what your original shape was. Then you forget what your original species was. Your mind fragments, becoming as twisted and divided as your body. You wander the Earth trying to find a shape that fits, constantly shifting from one bizarre form to another, pleading for help from dozens of malformed mouths.

I wish I was happy, and healthy.

:) Ala-kazam. You are now a tapeworm living in a vegetarian's colon.

My wish: Without any noticible change to my usual behaviour or inward and outward appearance... I would like to be rendered immortal.

Granted. You live for several decades undetected. Until police suspecting you of a serious crime, plug you into an advanced lie detector system. When asked about your age, your real answer doesn't match your physical age. They dig deeper and discover the fake id's you had to use to keep up with your youth.
They throw you into prison for fake id's as they try to discover who you are. Finally they resort to old DNA samples, dental records and fingerprints. They discover you haven't aged regularly.
Government scientists lock you up trying to discover why you don't age. As the years pass, the tests and experiments destroy your mind.
By the time humanity dies out, you are completely catatonic, and watch motionlessly, as the Earth ages, and dies. Until the sun finally blows up into a red star. You float in the edges of the sun until it collapses into itself, and then you only have the blackness of space, as a small part of your mind that remains screams for peace.

I wish I always had nice hair, not fantastic hair, just nice natural hair, growing out of my scalp in a normal fashion.

Granted you have the nicest hair that anyone has ever seen and all the woman are jealous of your fine hair and when you go to sleep a group of women attack youin your sleep and hack out huge chucnks of it so that when you wake up in the morning it looks like you have just been a victim of a scene from a horror film.

I wish that I could find the cure for heart and lung diseases.

Granted. But you have to experiment on animals to find the cures. And just as you discover it, animal rights terrorists bomb your building, destroying your lab, data, and research notes, and leaving you mentally deficient.

I wish everyone in the world got exactly what they deserved.

I wish that I could find the cure for heart and lung diseases.

You do, clever cloggs that you are, and while you're at it you find cures for everything from ingrowing toenails to ebola.

Suddenly no-one the whole world over dies of disease.

The population goes haywire. Experts start groping around on live TV for expressions that have more impact than 'explosion'.

Twenty years down the line we have a new dark age, as people fight eachother to the death in homemade arenas for the last box of Coco-Pops™

Centuries later, what survives of the human race, keeps the remembrance of your name alive simply so they may vilify it. You eventually pass into the realm of idiom, as in:

"You really Torana'd that up, didn't you."

I wish women and children had 'off' buttons.

Oops:rolleyes:

Granted. To bad no one thought to give them an on button. Eventually all the women and children die. And the remaining men string you up for making the wish, and dooming humankind.

I wish I was a completely independent minded, easily rechargable cyborg, with super strength, super intelligence, unlimited endurance, and impossible to break.

I don't get it..... lol

I wish I can just die and get it over and done with.

(Spartan, that was good lol)

Granted but you find out that there is reincarnation and come back as a rock and can never die again.

I wish that when I got away with assaulting a police officer someone was standing there recording it so I could see what happened lol

Granted the evidence was brought to the court you were then sentenced to death via leathal injection.

I wish the sky was grey all the time

Your in England.... It's already granted.

I wish my butt wasn't so saw from sitting it this chair!

Granted. Your chair breaks and you fall thinking wish id never made that wish.

I wish the sky was Grey all the time everywhere i went.

*OUCH*

Granted. The clouds are grey all the time and you grow paler and paler until you are transparent. Your heart can no longer take it anymore and in the middle of wishing for a bit of sunshine, you implode, causing a black hole to form in picadilly square, causing the world to swallow itself. Ah, well.. at least the sky is darker now....

I wish there was no more drought

granted. A plane blew up and fell ontop of you.

I wish the sky was dark grey now

That did not make sense. But neither do I so ahem....

Granted, the sky is darker, so dark that no-ones headlights work. The earth grows colder and one night, in your hunt for a warm crumpet, you step onto the highway and WHAM! A massive double decker buss falls on your head. Nice and dark, aint it? :p

I wish that I would stop having mood swings

Granted you then drop down dead.

I wish the sky was a darker grey now

Granted. You somehow get magically transported to my town where the sky is a dark grey from a storm. You get wet and blown around from the wind.

I wish I could control people just by saying a magic word that only I know.

Granted. How may I be of service?

I wish Torana knew what it felt like to have an M&M stuck up her nose!

Granted. As your eating a bag of M&M's each time you try to eat one it vanishes. No matter how fast you try to get it to your mouth it's gone. The same thing happens with the next bag, and the next bag. Even why you ask someone to put an M&M directly in your mouth, its gone before it touches your lips. You never taste an M&M again.
And Torana's nose explode from the hundreds of M&M's that appear in her nose with no explanation.

I wish my senile old cat, and my dumb younger cat, would stop peeing on the dining room rug.

Granted. You rug in now freshly clean and smells wonderful.. However, your bed starts to smell a bit funny.

I wish I could stop second guessing myself

Granted. You never guess anything again.

I wish I ws a ghost that haunted everyone.

Granted, you go along and haunt everyone, giving them all nightmares until you reach the Ghost Busters! (que cheesy music!) Your sucked up and eaten by that slime guy.

I wish I would stop posting stuff on this site and actually go to bed

Granted. But as you sleep images of this site haunt your dream, and you spend the entire night dreaming that you're posting here. When you wake up you feel like you haven't slept all night. When you check out the forum it's exactly like how you remember it, you even posted on it several times, exactly like your dream.
You can never leave.

I wish I never got tennis elbow.

Granted, your arms are removed and now it is impossible for you to get tennis elbow hahahahaha

I wish I was able to get past my writers block and actually write something that was half descent instead of the lame attempts at poetry that I have been writing lately

Granted. Unfortunately as you type in your half decent story, your computer eats you. But it does suffer indigestion afterwards so you do get some revenge.

I wish a zombie apocalypse occurred, and I became leader of the survivors, eventually retaking the world from the dead, and ruling everything as a God like figure of worship.

Granted. But then cometh me. The one simply known as Raven I oust you let everyone see your no demigod and they all hunt you down just like they did the Zombies. eventually you stumble into the last remaining nest of ombies they bite you too death then the survivers kill you for been a zombie.

I wish The sun would leave.

Granted. As it packs its bags it accidentally grabs you and throws you in its suitcase. When the sun reaches its vacation home and finds you, it decides to make you its pet.
It calls you George, and hugs you and pets you, and strokes your ears really nice. But spanks you whenever your bad.

I wish anyone who defied me would vanish from the face of the Earth.

Granted.... I'm gone!

I wish I could bloody go to bed when I'm supposed to!

Granted. A leprechaun moves into your house, whenever you stay up later then you should, he sneaks up behind you and knocks you unconscious with his cane.
Eventually you get permanent brain damage from the repeated concussions. But you always go to bed on time.

I wish I was an excellent gardener.

Granted. Except you garden certain plants that should not be gardened... you are promply arrested and thrown in jail for a long time where you are framed from the murder of the warden and sentanced to death. Meanwhile, your lovely garden soon grows overgrown and dies.

I wish I could leave this site as it's too addictive! (not for real though!)

Granted. This site is taken over by an electronic demon, whenever you try to log on it spits ectoplasmic goo at you, which is just really gross. After that everything is normal, unless you stay on for over an hour, then it spits more ectoplasmic goo at you.

I wish I wasn't tired all the time.

Granted. You died of a serve heart attack so now you'll never be tired again.


I wish The Sun would burn out?

Granted. Everyone freezes to death.

I wish I had less sensitive skin.

Granted. Instead, it's angry skin! Angry and annoyed! Everytime you are near someone you can't help but smash them over the head because your skin is very angry.

I wish I could give you a wish!

Granted. You can give one person any wish they could possibly want, but it will cost you your life, as you're soul will be used up and discarded like an empty sack. (And if they wish that you wouldn't die, it leaves your body alive, but totally mindless.)

I wish I was a perfectly average and normal male human.

Pffftttt, like that is ever going to happen!!!!!

Wish Granted. People have never seen a creature quite like you so they put you in a zoo and poke you with sharp sticks.

I wish that monster in my closet will stop wearing my underwear!

Granted. He now wears your shirts. They get all stretched out of shape, and are really slimy now. Also you can see things you really don't want to now since it isn't wearing your underwear anymore.

I wish I could control all the monkeys in the world.

Hm. I wonder why this board hasn't been used in over a month. Must revive!

Wish granted. While you control them, they become your only friends and you eventually become one and are put into a zoo forgetting whom you were in the first place.

I wish I was incredibly intelligent.

Granted. Your swelling brain becomes compressed by your unyielding skull, though, and within a week you lapse into a terminal coma.

I wish I could convert bigotry into peace and understanding.

Wish granted. As you start to enjoy the new world you take a walk through a park, the sun shining on your neck, warming you, and the breeze is gentle. Then out of no where a giant man eating apple eats grabs you with its hands (yes it does have hands.) and eats you.

I wish I really was the Nanner Queen.

granted but then an assassin called Stuart John Ripley guns you down at your inauguration. you die on the spot.
bick i like your quotes do i you mind if i use them?

i wish there was one thing in life i could count on

Granted. You can always count on your fingers! (What a horrible, horrible pun)

I wish I could travel more than I do.

granted but you consistently end up at Heathrow after every flight

i wish i could speak my mind

Granted. That's what your mouth's for.

I wish soujiroseta would make a wish that hasn't been granted already. : P

Granted.

i wish spiderman and catwoman would have a child

Granted, but it's so grotesque it's shielded from the public eye.

I wish I could get my will to write back.

And then it returns post haste, but you keep writing in Japanese, and you don't know Japanese.

I wish I could play Guitar.

Granted, but you can never stop playing.

I wish I owned a Shoebil.(Legally.)

Your new Shoebill arrives within the hour, but days later most of the neighborhood cats have disappeared.

I wish I had a hot steaming plate of Schnitzel Busom, with extra shrimp and potatoes.

Granted, but it's too hot to eat! You'll have to wait.

I wish my cats would stop sleeping all the time.

Your cats instantly develop insomnia, but they constantly nag for your attention!

I wish I were not sick.

Granted, now you'll get incredibly sick during something you can't afford to miss!

I wish my CD player would never break again.

granted but all you CD's melt inside it

i wish i was telepathic

Granted! But now you hear every living beings thoughts all at the same time, and it never stops. Eventually you become insane.

I wish I could meet Frank Sinatra.

granted but you vomit all over him

i wish i could eat fries for supper everyday:)

(I'm sure I would xDDD He's been dead for about 10 years. He'd be rather decomposed!)

Granted, but they're frozen.

I wish I could dance well.

Granted......but dance on fire

I wish I could be pretty

Granted, but with a wasted wish, it was already there.

I wish I could go back in time and spend a bit longer with Johnny.

Granted......only you forget who Johnny is.


I wish I could be what everyone expects me to be.

Granted, but now you've forgotten who you truly are.

I wish I had been alive when Dr. Zhivago was made, so I could have seen it done.

Granted....but you don't get to be the generation next.


I wish my life was perfect

Granted and it goes great for quite a while. Then you realize, it was all in your mind, since there is nothing known as "perfect".

I wish I could read through Dr. Zhivago without confusion.

Granted.......you never liked the book when you understood it.


I wish I hadn't been friends with the losers in the first place.

Wish granted, but the "losers" changed your life more then you knew, and for this you're a different person for the worse.

I wish my mother would let me have that puppy.

Granted.....but you had to deal with it's death just 7 months after, and it hurt.

^^^no wish?:confused:

i wish i could type faster

Granted! But you type so fast your fingers break.

I wish I could fly.

granted but you cant control it and fly into the sun...BURN!!!!!!!!!

i wish i had the guts to stand up to my crush

Haha, ew! That sounds gross xD.

Granted! But they soon fall out. (Sudden vision of the end of The Running man, EWEWEW! That book was just ew at the end xD)

I wish I could write as well as Moers.

Granted..only you will not be liked by anyone.

i wish wasn't such a complex person.

Granted, now you're boring.

I wish my dad's cat was alive again.

Granted, but you're dead.

I wish friendships didn't exist.

Wish granted, now you're lonely.

I wish I would stop loving him.

granted but now you cant love again

i wish relationships were easy

Granted, but now there's no fun.

I wish I would stop aching now, and think the a ache is because of him, not my best friend betraying.

Granted but then you realize thought is impossible to change.

I wish I could break the habit.

Granted, now you don't have ANY habit.

Wish I could sing

Granted, but you could already sing and the wish was a waste.

no wish? Granted but now you have a million wishes to do in three minutes

i wish i could quit smoking

Granted but someone starts smoking you :p

I wish I could stop being in pain, and that my skull would become whole again.

hahahahahhaha. that's just brightened my day:D
granted but instead you are now the owner of the world's smallest head:p

i wish i had more charm

Granted, but you're put onto a bracelet :p

I wish I wasn't so shy in real life.

granted but now you cant stop hugging everyone

i wish i had more muscle

!! That would be awesome. I'd hug everyone! Watch ./hugs you SEE :D

Granted but only on your left side :p

I wish I could tap dance.

granted but only your left foot taps:p

i wish my couch would move itself into the van

Granted, but it now will move around your apartment :p

I wish my cats would get along.

Granted.......they get along from life to death.....*sniffs for you*


I wish I could have the guts to start writing again

Granted but with the extra guts your stomach swells.

I wish my teeth would stop hurttttiiinggg D:

granted but now your eyes hurt

i wish i was a millionaire

My eyes already hurt though :o

Granted, but it's stolen. You go to jail for the next 15 years.

I wish I had parents that acted more like the loved me.

granted but now they love you so much they wont let you go outside anymore

i wish i could get a good night's sleep

Granted but you have horrible days filled with bad luck.

I wish people understood me better.

granted but now the aliens also want to understand you and abduct you

i wish the sun wouldn't come up so early

Granted, it never comes out.

I wish I had more energy throughout the day.

Granted, now you don't have enough stuff to do, and can't watch even your favourite soaps cos they're moving too slow.


I wish some people did not think they're superior

Granted, but now everyone does.

I wish I could dance on the moon.

Granted: But while you are dancing the moon collides with earth crushing you on the spot.

I wish that I was a vampire.

Granted, let me introduce you to Buffy


I wish the world was more beautiful

Granted, but while starring at Earth's wonderment, a bird dives in and scratches out your eyes and now you can't see anything.

I wish my cat wasn't in heat!

Granted, but after she became sterile you found out that she once had a male calico kitten before you got her.

i wish life was easier

Aw! My cat finally stopped going in heat and decided to get preggers instead :p Want a kitten foxy? xD

Granted but death comes hard for you, and you gain immortality and have to see everything and everyone you love die.

I wish I could feel what true happiness is.

true but now you cant stop smiling and you jaw breaks

i wish i could live one day in someone elses shoes and see what im like

Granted but you get to see your own death.

I wish I could make my mother happy.

granted but now you're sad

i wish i had courage like a lion

Granted but you become one.

I wish I could eat without every bite being painful.

granted but everytime you drink your throat is corroded

i wish life didnt throw me curveballs

Granted, it becomes dull and uneventful.

I wish I could sing well.

granted but you sing as a bass tenor:D

i wish i could go back home today

Granted, but termites have damned it unstable.

I wish I was healthy.

granted but now everyone is sick

i wish i could have internet in my shower

Granted but everyone comes in while you shower to use the internet. :p

I wish my mind was less cloudy right now.

Granted, but the humidity levels are going off the CHARTS (the uncomfortable sticky kind)

I wish to die fulfilled

Granted but you have to walk as a zombie for the rest of eternity.

I wish I was less sore.

Granted, but your numbness to your pain will lead to your obliviousness of the harm on your body, which will lead to major internal bleeding

I wish I could just go to sleep

Granted but you never wake up.

I wish I could feel relaxed like I do now, always.

Graanted, but then you can't shower...lol


I wish there was no girlfriend-boyfriend system.....

Granted. Now everyone is gay.

I wish for this post to be the final post in this thread.

Granted, but then you forget people have their own free will.

I wish my body didn't ache.

Granted. Now you're in excruciating, flaming pain.

I wish I had lots of friends.

Granted but they aren't true friends.

I wish I could stand in front of a crowd and not be scared.

Granted, but you forgot that fear is a very useful emotion that tells you it's a bad idea to try and singlehandedly stop a pitchfork and torch bearing mob using nothing but your voice and your clear, impeccible logic.

I wish I had a credit card with no limit and no fees.

Granted but you end up buying more then you can handle, and are crushed by the weight.

I wish I had a cup of never-ending coffee.

Granted, but the cup has an unsealable hole in it, and you can't stop the spilling. The coffee is also very hot, and it's not McDonalds, so you don't pass go or collect millions of dollars

I wish I fell in love with someone who loved me as much as I did them, not more or less.

Granted but he gets a terminal illness and you have limited time with him.

I wish my hair would grow back faster.

Granted, but it continues to grow back so fast that it becomes an annoyance and financial issue for the rest of your life to keep it groomed

I wish to die happy

Granted but you live the rest of your life alone and miserable.

I wish I couldn't feel pain.

Granted, but you can't feel happiness either

I wish to enjoy tonight's sleep and wake up feeling good

Granted, but tomorrow's really going to suck starting about ten minutes after you get up.

I wish for world peace.

Granted but your family itself goes into fighting one another.

I wish my sister was here.

Granted, but she brings home some biker, crack head boyfriend who insists that everyone does lines with him.

I wish my boys could figure out how to clean up after themselves.

Granted, but then they start telling you to clean your room.

I wish I was a famous photographer.

Granted, you become famous for being in the right place at the right time with the right equipment and somehow managing to mess it up. You even get on Jerry Springer where they mock your bad photography.

I mish I had a pet monkey.

Granted but then he's an annoyance, and he ends up throwing a tantrum in your car, causing you to have an accident.

I wish I could make a better tasting gravy.

granted but now everything else you make tastes like rotting lemons

i wish i had done all my homework

Granted, but then you found out it was optional.

I wish I didn't have to shave every day.

Granted, you don't have to shave ever. Now girls mock you for not being able to grow manly hair.

I wish the weekend wasn't over

xDDD That made me laugh.

Granted, the weekend lasts forever and the economy losses so much that we all go into bankrupsy.

I wish I wasn't such a nervous person.

granted but now with your new confidence everyone ignores you

i wish talking with someone about deep emotional issues was easy

Granted, now you talk about stuff you don't want to share with others.



I wish I wasn't lagging behind so much in my studies...

Granted: But now the top person in your class throws a tantrum and massacres the school because he's not the top person anymore.

I wish that I had a better phone.

Granted but it's stolen from the President of the United states and you go to jail for the next 10 years.

I wish I wasn't allergic to oranges.

Granted. Your allergic to oxygen.

I wish I didn't have a ton of art homework staring at me.

Granted, now it's blinking.

I wish my mother would leave me alone for a few minutes. :|

granted but she sends the dog to be with you for the rest of your life

i wish i was smarter

Granted, but you get too smart, and everyone is intimidated by you.

I wish my mother would friggin cool off and stop bitching at me.

granted but now she becomes cooler than you and steals all your friends

i wish i made better choices

Granted, but people get jealous of you as you escalate in life. You are assassinated by the age of 35.

I wish I really could fly.

Granted. You are now a big fat blowfly. Yes, you can fly but watch out for the aerosol cans and fly swatters.

I wish my hands didn't crack in winter.

Granted, but now they crack in summer.

I wish I wasn't sick. Blah!

Granted but now you'll get sick on a very important day.

I wish my back wasn't in immense pain.

Granted: Your back is better, but everything else hurts.

I wish I wasn't tired.

Granted: You're tired of being not tired.

I wish I had some cake.

Granted, but it's poisonous

I wish for a non-tainted granted...ness???

(I did get sick on an important day. I had my algebra final yesterday and I felt like crapola!)

Granted...but you will never have anything else granted ever never ever again.

I wish for a Chocolate Dilly Bar from Dairy Queen.

Granted, but it gets eaten by a grizzly with three legs before you can touch it.

I wish I wasn't so uninspired.

Granted inspiration hits you everytime you sleep now.

I wish my mother would be a little kinder to me.

granted, but she smothers you with kisses and hugs and all the chocolates you can eat and you die grom obesity.

I wish cliches weren't cliche...

Granted, but then everybody uses them and the worlds literature, movies, theatre and slang all go down the toilet. Communication completely ceases because nobody can stand to try and do it. Civilization collapses. Think tower of Babel kind of scenario.

I wish everybody liked reading.

Granted but then the price of books skyrocket and authors are the new celebrities. The authors become pompous and the quality of books soon fail. A group of extremest assassinate all authors leaving us to an apocalypse.

I wish I would stop being light-headed.

Granted now your head weighs 100 lbs. LOL.

I wish i had my vary own battle ship. (Space or sea i don't care as long as it has big guns.)