Oh my. xDD I'm not going to post what first came to mind.

Granted but the battleship sinks the moment you get into battle.

I wish I could concentrate right now.

granted but your increased brain power shuts down all the electricity in your area

i wish i was better looking

Granted, but all the women fawn over you, and you end up having a heart attack from all the love :p

I wish I was less self-conscious.

granted but now you become a vegetable

i wish there was a toilet in the living room

Granted, but now people look at you funny.

I wish I had a fully automatic twelve gauge shotgun.

granted but the it comes with special boomerang pellets that shoot you in the leg constantly.

i wish i didnt have to work for money

Granted, you stole it. Say hello to Don, he's your cell mate. He's 6 foot 5, and dumb as a rock. He eats people like you for dinner. Enjoy!

I wish I could read a book right now.

granted but you cant stop reading it and it becomes your bible

i wish we had winter here

ICE AGE! You get stomped by a woolly mammoth.

I wish I had a bobblehead doll of myself.

Granted but your soul gets sucked into it.

I wish I could meet Stephen King :p

Granted, but he makes you a character in his next book and you are killed by some crazed group of girl scouts whose souls have been corrupted by the devil.

I wish my cat hadn't just run across my foot and sunk her nails in. -ouch-

Oww, I know how that feels.

Granted she does it when you're in a deep sleep :p

I wish my cat would hurry up and have her kittens.

Granted, but it's processed and one of the big guns just got yank up your ass - oh and some random fired too.

I wish LJ would stop being stupid to me.

Granted, but she has 30 of them. She can't feed them all.

I wish someone would take my creative writing final for me
(I got an 88% on my algebra final...woohooo)

Granted but you're failed from the class, since that's cheating :p

I wish I could go out and see my friends.

Granted, but they don't know who you are.

I wish my car would drive itself while I'm having a coughing fit which leads to yaking and I don't run into a curb and blow out a tire...

Granted instead a train goes off the tracks and runs right into your car.

I wish I could get rid of this boredom.

Granted, but then your head explodes.

I wish that my wish wouldn't backfire, but instead make me bloated.

Granted :p Your entire body bloats, causing you to explode.

I wish I felt better.

Granted, but you don't get a cookie

I wish I had a cookie

Granted but it's poisoned.

I wish I had something salty and tasty to eat.

Granted, but the salt dehydrates you and you die.

I wish I had $1,000,000.

Granted, but you die

I wish my homework was done

granted but you join foxymomma six feet under

i wish i never die

Granted but everyone you loves dies in a gory way as you watch.

I wish I was well, and not tired.

(Why are you sick all the time?)
Granted, you are invincible and survive the apocolypse and must repopulate the world. The only other surviving thing is mosquitos.

I wish my hubby would stop smoking.

granted but now he chews grass instead.

i wish i was like superman

Granted but everything on Earth is now made of Kryptonite.

I wish I was less empathetic.

(Why are you sick all the time?)

Cracked skull. My blog talks about that xD

Granted, but now you're a sociopath who kills puppies for fun.

I wish I was good at kung fu.

Granted but you drown in a typhoon.

I wish it wasn't so hot in the house.

granted but you die from the searing blizzard which sweeps through your house

i wish life was easy

Granted but you grow up weak from the lack of the challenge, drowning when you jump into a fast-paced river to see what wondering what would happen.

I wish I didn't have to pick up the kids today.

Granted: A stranger kidnaps them.

I wish my eye didn't hurt.

Granted, you don't have eyes anymore :)

I wish I could remember my wish.

Granted but you wished to take over the world, in which you became a horrible dictator and your son ended up murdering you so he could take over.

I wish I had more time before I had to go get the kids.

Granted - the kids are just dead. You have more time.


I wish this song was better.

Granted: It's the best song in the world. You 'cream' yourself in front of your parents because it's so good and they send you to a psych ward.

I wish I could have the internet at home to write more in Rhapsody.

Granted, but then you creamed yourself because you were looking at porn more than writing. Your parents than put you in catholic school.

I wish I knew what creamed meant.

xDD omg you two.

Granted but now you really are in a psych ward.

I wish I didn't know what it meant xD

Granted - you don't know what it is, but you're covered in it. Don't ask :p

I wish I didn't just say that.

Omg! xDDDD EW ./shower!

Granted but you've condemned me to know you did anyways xD

I wish Oasis could make me laugh some more :p

Granted, you're funny looking in a funner way than funny can fun with itself after having fun with a fun person who really fakes being funny because they too, are a funny looking person.

I wish that made sense.

Granted but then reality is ever more flawed then usual. The world will end in 30 seconds.

I wish we could know what mission 3 was :o

Granted, but you die in Mission three. :p

I wish I had a dream!

Nooo :p I take my wish back!

Granted you go back to the 1960's and take MLK's place.

I wish my cat wasn't so adorable! I need to not spoil him so much.

Granted. I just skinned your cat alive and now its just a skeleton walking around.

I wish my mother bought my juice today. =[

Granted but she dropped it on you.

I wish my muffin didn't taste like old freezer.(Yes, ew. xD)

Granted, it now tastes like intestines.

I wish my hair wasn't wet.

Granted now you don't have any hair.

I wish I had more water in my glass.

BALD!?!?! NEIN.

Granted. The cup keeps making so much water that now its over-flowing and bang,,, you just got electrocuted.

I wish it wasn't half 12 already.

Granted It's 2am instead :p

I wish I didn't have to leave for a little bit to lay down.

granted but your body overheats and you spontaneously combust

i wish i didnt have to make a first impression

Granted, you'll never meet this person.

I wish I had more of this delicious watermelon.

granted but you it's rotten

i wish someone would turn down the a/c

Granted but someone turns on the heater to unsurvivable temperatures.

I wish I could finish my novel.

Granted: Now the ending is rushed and publishers will never accept it (which will never happen by the way. I'm just joshing)

I wish I had a cookie

Granted, but it's poisoned.

I wish I was better with snappy comebacks.

Granted but they're so snappy they hurt feeling.

I wish my hair wasn't a mess right now.

Granted, you have no hair!!

I wish food was free.

Granted but now people over take and we run out of food. The entire population slowly dies.

I wish I had more coffee in my cup.

Granted but it is a really cheap and nasty one that tastes like acidic mud.

I wish my house was finished (been renovating for 9 years)

Granted but a tornado blows through it.

I wish I was more awake right now

Granted, you are more awake but you won't be able to sleep again.

I wish I had a bigger place to live.

Granted, you now live in the Cinderella Castle at Disney World, bad news though.....the mouse thinks you are his wife now and he's secretly into bondage!!!

I wish my nails weren't so brittle

Granted but they grow an inch a second.

I wish I wasn't so miserably sick.

Granted, you're now dead.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

Granted, you aren't so lazy. But you're George Bush.

I wish my cat didn't just throw up on the floor!

Granted- now it threw up on the ceiling!

I wish I had some coffee

Granted, but you forgot to put in a filter when you made it so you have gritty coffee...Mmmm, drink up!

I wish my throat didn't hurt so bad.

granted, the rest of you does

i wish that i could drive

Granted, you drive straight off a cliff.

I wish someone would make me breakfast, and then clean the kitchen!

Granted but a stranger does, stealing your good silverware.

You forgot to make a wish! None of your future wishes will ever be granted.

I wish my laundry was finished.

granted but now it tries to eat you while you put it away

i wish i was in a better mood

Granted but all you get is some chocolate as a complimentary gift

I wish that I wished for a wish

Granted, but your head explodes from the paradox.

I wish that powerful dragons were under my command, could never break free, and would never do anything that I didn't command them too, were immortal, and their tears were a cure for every disease. Hah!

Granted, but they aren't potty trained and poo in your bed! HA!

I wish my freezer had an ice maker.

granted but the extra coolant cryogenically freezes anyone who opens it and preserves them forever.

i wish i could watch the sun rise

Granted...but the it's brightness leaves you color blind...what/..blind was too obvious!...LOL

I wish I had my friend here right now!

Granted but he has to leave in 8 mins. (O.K. worse things could have happened.)

I wish it was June. (Hey, I'm a teacher you do the math.)

Granted...and hotter than any other June you have experienced!!

I wish I could get motivated.

Granted ... there is a bomb underneath your chair that will go off if you try and get up OR type less than thirty words per minute. the bomb will defuse once your work is done. Motivated yet?

I wish I could get I touch with my financial adviser.

Granted...He is living on an Island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean...something about , needing to leave in a hurry...or something like that...;)


I wish my friend would put down that water hose and just sit still.

Granted. Unfortunately, he leaves the hose on and it floods your house.

I wish I was calmer.

Granted...you're comatose!


I wish I could make up my mind!

Granted you decide to become a professional clown.

I wish it was raining.

Granted: It's raining cats and dogs and they claw your eyes out.

I wish people did what I wanted them to.

Granted. Unfortunately your neighbor wants to steal your computer.

I wish I had a cup of mint pepsi.

Granted: But the cup has a hole in the bottom.

I wish I was invincible.

Granted but so is the rest of the world. Watch that first step ... ooooh ... that's going to leave a mark.

I wish I had more patience.

I'm trying to delete thins and i cant figure it out.... =( so ignore this

.......

See, this is how it works....you grant the wish before you, but you grant it by being evil...not putting.............

@@

Granted, but you are a patient in the terminal ward of the hospital (patience/patients) HA!

I wish I didn't have heart burn right now.

Granted...you are having a serious gallbladder attack.


I wish I could help a friend.

Granted. You help the friend...to rob your house.

I wish I was sexy.:cool:

Granted - but only to penguins.

I wish I knew what to get Mum for Mothers' day.

Granted. She wants $1,000,000.

I wish I wasn't sick. (I feel really bad now...)

Granted...you're healthy... and are forced to paint your house inside and out.

I wish I could make up my mind.

Granted. You've made up your mind and are miserable with the decision.

I wish I had some chocolate.

Granted...but it's old, and... is that a bug I see?

I wish I was In New Jersey all ready.

Granted: You are, but its been nuked by aliens.

I wish my ear infection would be cured.

granted, now you are all better ( i hope) but, alas,
you are in new jersey.
I wish I was younger.

Granted - you are now 1 second younger.
I wish the powers-that-be would come to their senses and get rid of 20/20 cricket.

Granted - Are you sleeping? Are you awake? You can't tell, because you have been ridded of 20/20 cricket. All of your senses have been removed. You no longer can hear the game being played. You no longer can see it either. Nor feel any of its equipment, smell it's playground, taste any confections sold at the games. Well, maybe it hasn't been removed for everyone, but you should find happiness that you no longer have to be concerned of its existence.

I wish everyone gave me all of their money so I could burn it and call it a day.

Poof! Your wish is granted!


I wish that all exoskeletal creatures with the capicity to bite or sting would perish upon entering a one meter radius of my body!

Granted - World goes into anarchy.

I wish my mother wasn't here to make me leave the computer.

Granted - She's not. That's my mother - some things still have to be explained to you.

I wish that God could get things done a-little bit quicker

Granted - World goes into anarchy.

I wish my mother wasn't here to make me leave the computer.



Really? I was talking about just the bugs that come close to me, not all of them. :p

Poof! I wisk your mother away to bake you cookies!

I wish that Bick's mom would bake me some cookies! :D

Granted - she baked you some. But they were eaten by wildebeasts.

Granted - She's not. That's my mother - some things still have to be explained to you.

I wish that God could get things done a-little bit quicker

He can. But He does things on His own time. Don't worry - He's got a better plan than we do.

He can. But He does things on His own time. Don't worry - He's got a better plan than we do.


Sometimes I wish His plan could be downloaded in PDF format. :rolleyes:

That's okay. I think everyone does sometimes.

I wish I could run off somewhere from reality.

granted





Gee, foxy, thanks a lot. I know the rules - I just didn't have the heart to take that wish away from Bick.

OK, let's review! Grant the wish above you, make it an evil grant....make a new wish! It's not that difficult!

I wish nubes would read the rules better.

Granted - But the fairy granting your wish has no idea what "nubes" are, mistaking them for nudes. The nudest then start to read rules and go from rules to books. They now fill the local libraries, nice job.

I wish I could dance on the moon w/o having to pay a bunch of money and w/o dying.

Granted...but now you can't get back home.

I wish I had a new wardrobe for the summer.

Granted but all they're /all/ summer clothes and /all/ your other clothes go in the trash. Welcome winter at the end of the year.

I wish I could tell how I actually feel w/o feeling guilty and worse then before.

Granted now you're me! Now depending on yuor point of view that could be a good thing or a bad thing.

I wish I had a better work internet connection.

Granted...computer use is now banned.

I wish I knew what to do with myself?

Granted but then you realize you have laundry to do.

I wish I wasn't shaking right now.

Granted, but you wreck it within one week of getting it

I wish to wake up and my house is magically spotless!

Granted - all of your possessions have been stolen.

I wish the kids weren't spending the night.

(Sweet! The dirty dishes too?)

Granted, they live with you permanently!

I wish I could get rid of the cough I've had for 3 months.

Granted - Now you're going to sneeze for 3 months.

I wish there was no feeling called sadness.

granted - now it's called "clandry", but it's the same thing.

I wish I had no insomnia.

granted - "no insomnia" you shall have. But "no insomnia" is the disorder of never being able to say no. And someone just asked you if they could drive their knife into your belly.

I wish I could pass on my wish-turn to the next poster

Granted but all my wishes involve you thus sending the evil wish your way.

I wish I had another day like yesterday.

Granted but all my wishes involve you thus sending the evil wish your way.

I wish I had another day like yesterday.


Granted! But you must wait until the end of time to enjoy it.


I wish I could stop time so that I could go into every store in America and take just one quarter out of every till.

Granted - Your fingerprints are found. Welcome to prison.

I wish I wasn't really hung over.

Granted - Your fingerprints are found. Welcome to prison.

I wish I wasn't really hung over.


Granted! Now you are still drunk!



I wish I could what I liked and not worry about it!

granted - and that was really tough because I have no idea what "I wish I could what I liked" means...

I wish wreybies could explain to me what he meant

Granted - But then he babbles on about monster trucks. Have fun.

I wish I could be a driver of a huge monster truck.

Granted - But then he babbles on about monster trucks. Have fun.

I wish I could be a driver of a huge monster truck.



Granted! But your truck is an actual monster which has eaten you!



I wish I could remember to put the correct verbs into my wishes so others can understand me! :p

Granted, but then you overload it with verbs and it gets really confusing.

I wish all my paperwork was finished.

granted - but you're the type to lick your fingertips to get a better hold of the pages as you turn them, and unbeknownst to you, "all" your paperwork means all paperwork from now until your death, and you just drowned in a pool of your own spit.

I wish I could invent something that doesn't exist in any realities using material that has never been created before

Granted - The aliens want their material back, thanks for making a new galatic war buddy.

I wish I could fly with actual wings.

granted - but you're the type to lick your fingertips to get a better hold of the pages as you turn them, and unbeknownst to you, "all" your paperwork means all paperwork from now until your death, and you just drowned in a pool of your own spit.

I wish I could invent something that doesn't exist in any realities using material that has never been created before


Granted! But now Steven Hawking is going to sue you for discrediting his theories.



I wish I could have a half hour conversation with Steven Hawking.

Granted, but they are hummingbird wings and can't hold you up.

I wish my internet connection was faster.

granted - but the next fastest speed is as fast as the speed of light, and so you were given it. But you had no idea on how to control its effect of time travel, so you ended up right back to the moment I granted you your wish. Have fun in your little loop... forever!

I wish I was as big as an ion, so I could build a statue, constructing it at the particle level.

granted - but the next fastest speed is as fast as the speed of light, and so you were given it. But you had no idea on how to control its effect of time travel, so you ended up right back to the moment I granted you your wish. Have fun in your little loop... forever!

I wish I was as big as an ion, so I could build a statue, constructing it at the particle level.


Granted! But now you have a whole gaggle of nuetrinos trying to watch you work. (silly nuetrinos) :p


I wish I had a big ball of string theory.

Granted - You're a kitten.

I wish I understand what Wrey just said.

granted - pick my wish-grant for wrey apart...
Wrey for you:
granted - Dr. Michu Kaku has invited you over for a masquerade. He opens the door to his ballroom, and to your surprise every part of his string theory equation has become its own life form. As far as you can tell, there's about 13 levels of beings here. And a whole string section plays as you dance to the words of his theory. Math = fun, I guess they say!

I wish for a pocket full of gold and some sunshine (lol)

The weight of the gold in your pocket creates a hole and it falls out. The sunshine burns your leg you get cancer and die.

I wish I had Shakespears vocabulary.

granted - I went back in time and have just placed his temporal lobes of his brain in your hands. It's your task to explain to detectives why there's a note left on his body signed by you and how to hook his brain parts up to technology to extract his way with words.

I wish I didn't die of cancer

granted - I went back in time and have just placed his temporal lobes of his brain in your hands. It's your task to explain to detectives why there's a note left on his body signed by you and how to hook his brain parts up to technology to extract his way with words.

I wish I didn't die of cancer


Granted, you've been run over by a truck!


I wish I could meet Witch!


*crushing on Witch just a little bit for the following*


Wrey for you:
granted - Dr. Michu Kaku has invited you over for a masquerade. He opens the door to his ballroom, and to your surprise every part of his string theory equation has become its own life form. As far as you can tell, there's about 13 levels of beings here. And a whole string section plays as you dance to the words of his theory. Math = fun, I guess they say!

Dr. Michu Kaku is the new Carl Sagan.

Granted, but you are suffocated by all that string....

I wish I could understand kitty talk!

Granted, but you are suffocated by all that string....

I wish I could understand kitty talk!



Granted, but you discover that cats are very potty mouthed.




I wish I could explain to my puppy why it's not funny to come sniff me while I go to the bathroom.

Granted, he wasn't laughing!

I wish today wasn't Wednesday

Granted it's Monday of next week, you just slept through it all, good luck catching up.

I wish I felt better

Dr. Michu Kaku is the new Carl Sagan.

I wasn't aware Carl Sagan's soul replaced Kaku's soul in Kaku's body.

Granted - But Better is the name of Wreybies dog, and while you go to the bathroom, Better does a whole lot of feeling.

I wish Rice-A-Roni wasn't the San Francisco treat

I wasn't aware Carl Sagan's soul replaced Kaku's soul in Kaku's body.

Granted - But Better is the name of Wreybies dog, and while you go to the bathroom, Better does a whole lot of feeling.

I wish Rice-A-Roni wasn't the San Francisco treat


Granted! But now brussel sprouts are the San Fransisco treat and the citizens are sad.


I wish that I could speak to Carl Sagan as his spirit was being channeled through Dr. Michu Kaku as we sat sipping tea over an Einstein Rosenburg bridge:p

I wish that I could speak to Carl Sagan as his spirit was being channeled through Dr. Michu Kaku as we sat sipping tea over an Einstein Rosenburg bridge

granted - And for secrecy of location, I suggest superpositioning yourself over that bridge in the area where the Schrodinger Wave Equation occurs.

I wish I could determine the final calculations for my study concerning nonrandomness in lottery numbers to quiet those who disobey the law of a preprogrammed destiny

granted - And for secrecy of location, I suggest superpositioning yourself over that bridge in the area where the Schrodinger Wave Equation occurs.

I wish I could determine the final calculations for my study concerning nonrandomness in lottery numbers to quiet those who disobey the law of a preprogrammed destiny


Granted! But now those who disobey the law of a preprogrammed destiny have fallen into a state of complete order and have become very dull indeed.


I wish I knew if Witch is afraid of Schrodinger's cat? :rolleyes:

Only on the day I remember where I put that damn box. And the day I do find it, I hope the cat is either living or dead, because I couldn't ever see myself taking my eyes off of the paradoxical sight.

I wish Wreybies could tell me where our universe's material came from.

Only on the day I remember where I put that damn box. And the day I do find it, I hope the cat is either living or dead, because I couldn't ever see myself taking my eyes off of the paradoxical sight.

I wish Wreybies could tell me where our universe's material came from.


Granted! But the knowledge that all the material in the universe accidently slopped out of a large vat of trans-universal spaghetti sauce only further fuels the fight between those in the String Theory Camp and those in the M Theory Camp.


I wish we had a real Unified Theory Of Everything which included in its equations where random socks go when they get lost in the drier.

Granted but the answer to it all scares you to insanity.

I wish I didn't sneeze.

Granted, you held it in and exploded your ear drums.

I wish I could make this character in my head make sense.

Granted - He takes over and becomes part of your split personality disorder.

I wish my mother's friend wasn't here for lunch and didn't mooch off us.

Granted - you're asked to leave.

I wish more people were aware of the environmental dangers Monsanto has introduced with the production and distribution of their genetically modified seeds

Granted - you're asked to leave.

I wish more people were aware of the environmental dangers Monsanto has introduced with the production and distribution of their genetically modified seeds

Granted! But you are forced to be your own best example because a plasmid has introduced a strand of RNA into your system wich causes you to glow under blacklight.

I wish I knew why genetic scientists are so intrigued by making non-glow-in-the-dark animals glow in the dark.

Granted - You find out, but are now being illegally kept in a cage and experimented on. Poor Wrey :(

I wish I was more motivated!

Granted - You find out, but are now being illegally kept in a cage and experimented on. Poor Wrey :(

I wish I was more motivated!


Granted! But you did not specify how motivated you wanted to be so now you have Obsessive Compulsive Behavior Dissorder.

You are endlessesly motivated to count paperclips.


I wish I could make my customers understand that while I translate for them, I am not a salesperson! They are! I am only their voice in another language! Argh! :(

Granted - They now want to be your best friends.

I wish I wasn't such a shy person.

I wish I could make my customers understand that while I translate for them, I am not a salesperson! They are! I am only their voice in another language! Argh!

granted - but you are now expected to sell for them because you are "only their voice in another language" and you must do what they do because they say so. But you're lucky you are only a voice and have no body, because the Law is trying to bust you for identity theft.

granted - you now begin to talk to all the voices in your head, but find out they're all as shy as you used to be. No matter what, you just can't seem to get out of talking to yourself.

I wish my signature on this forum could be more than 1000 characters

Granted but the site crashes.

I wish my chores would do themselves.

granted - all your chores fight over the vasoline jar and the bathroom. I guess that's another meaning for "dirty dishes."

I wish the forum members here would invent a new letter and put it in between "m" and "n" so there's actually a middle letter in the alphabet.

granted - all your chores fight over the vasoline jar and the bathroom. I guess that's another meaning for "dirty dishes."

I wish the forum members here would invent a new letter and put it in between "m" and "n" so there's actually a middle letter in the alphabet.


Granted! I bring back the letter thorn (þ) but when it is pronounced it causes the actual sensation of thorns in one's throat.


I wish we could bring back the use of the second person singular thou in order to allow you to go back to being the second person plural so we would not have to say y'all in order to indicate the plural of the second person.

Full inflection of all pronouns for all cases indicated, of course.

granted - but reality is programmed to attach any pronoun assigned to an individual to said individual, and by removing the attached pronoun that person dies a gruesome, bloody death. But there's two catches. Firstly, whoever makes the rule can chant a mantra which unattaches the pronoun assigned to an individual so they can be saved. I guess you didn't know that... ooops! Secondly, if the mantra is unspoken, then the person making the rule survives, even if the pronoun being removed is attached to the person making the rule. And that is what it feels like to drown in a worldwide flood of blood and guts.

I wish Wreybies could unwish his last wish

Granted everyone goes mute and has to use their hands to talk. Nice job :(

I wish this avatar would come out perfectly so I don't have to work on it after tonight.

Granted but it doesn't look like you made it and you're sued for plagiarism.
I wish I had my cat Spaz back.

Granted but it doesn't look like you made it and you're sued for plagiarism.
I wish I had my cat Spaz back.


Granted! But now you are the pet and Spaz is the owner. Let's hope that Spaz is not cheap and buys you the good-tasting human treats! :D:p


I wish I had my original hairline! :(

Granted ... but the hair is invisible.

I wish I had a fully stocked science lab.

Granted - It's stocked with sweets.

I wish I didn't have to punish my wittle Sammie this morning. :(

granted, but since you don't he's a brat.

I wish I could fly

granted, but since you don't he's a brat.

I wish I could fly


Granted! But now you are a flying cockroach (EEeeeeeewwwww!) :p



I wish I could meet a bogfoot or a Yeti!

Granted! He eats you for his brunch. Poor Wrey :(

I wish Walter Moers would do a reading so I could go see him!

granted - Walter Moers sees a psychic and get his future read for him. The psychic tells Walter that tomorrow he will fall into one of his comics where he'll remain forever. Lucky you. You get to see him stuck in one of his comic frames. Too bad he can't control the talk bubble.

I wish it was May 29th

Haha. That was really good :p

Granted - You just woke up from a coma and can't move any part of your body.

I wish I could eat these strawberries!

granted - strawberries are good for you, so eat em up! (can't dis the strawberries - no evil)

I wish Ron Paul still had a chance for President

xDD Aha.

Granted - Welcome to 2012.

I wish I could breath easier.

granted - but your wish didn't come true because whatever esoteric system transmutes wishes into reality couldn't make sense of your wish because you spelt breathe wrong.

I wish joyfulness for everyone

Granted. Unfortunately serial killers are included in everyone and ... well do I really need to remind you what brings them joy?

I wish I a comfortable chair.

granted - "I" was given a comfortable chair... Thank you very much!

I wish I could get this post saved on the board before someone else does

Granted! Unfortunately you were so busy doing this that you missed Ed McMahon knocking on your door. Oh well, he took that big check to someone else.

I wish I had some cake.

granted - As I brought a slice of cake over to you, I caught Ed McMahon going to your house with the check he brought over to mine. Found out it was really meant for you, but since I offered him some cake, he signed it over to me!

I wish someone could explain to me how a one dollar bill could have only one side (like in a 2 dimensional reality)...

granted - As I brought a slice of cake over to you, I caught Ed McMahon going to your house with the check he brought over to mine. Found out it was really meant for you, but since I offered him some cake, he signed it over to me!

I wish someone could explain to me how a one dollar bill could have only one side (like in a 2 dimensional reality)...


Granted! But the knowledge has trapped you in Flatland. Have a care for those pointy, pointy women folk. They don't always keep up that tail wag and the constant wail.


I wish that, as a Flatlander, I would be born as a perfect circle!

granted but now everyone makes fun of your womanly curves

i wish i was irresistable to women

granted but now everyone makes fun of your womanly curves

i wish i was irresistable to women


*but Flatland women are pointy, not curvacious* :confused:


Granted! They now stalk you like lionesses on the Serengeti, your smell drives them wild and they cannot fight the hunger. RUN!!!!


I wish I could remember the titles to favorite books I read as a child. So, so, so many books!

Granted - You learn them all and spend the rest of your days hunting them down, never being able to get them all.

I wish I wasn't watching this retarded show: Kenny Vs. Spenny. Ew.

granted - now you're bungee jumping.

I wish I never went to that stupid concert

Granted instead you went to a six hour long time share meeting. In which the presenter had no concept of personal space and clearly thinks brushing his teeth is a once a week task. Unfortunately, today wasn't the brushing day AND he just finished off an onion and garlic pizza.

I wish I was a calmer person.

Granted - now you're calm in ANY situation, and you're about to drive off a cliff. Since you can no longer panic, you can't stop the car.
I wish I was done with my writer's block.

Granted, now you have hand cramps.

I wish I was better at helping people with their problems.

*fine with me*

Granted - you're now the top psychiatrist and everyone wants your help

I wish it was just a little cooler.

Granted the word "it" is now a cooler word. Kids all over the world begin writing it everywhere. Unfortunately, by a sheer coincidence, the temperature around your home just went up ten degrees.

I wish I was more flexible.

granted - now you are touring with the circus in an uncharted island as a contortionist.

I wish I had a few more good friends.

Granted. By good I'm sure you meant - Greasy Obnoxious Odorous Delinquents right? Well here they come - all fifty of them.

I wish I had one of those light up keyboards.

granted - but I'm a very generous genie, so with your light up keyboard... you get... (drum roll please)... You're gonna love me for this one... a 3 inch real-life replica of Michael Jackson stepping upon each key as it lights up! (cheer, hurray!) Okay... not enough? He'll sing Billie Jean non-stop, as long as you type! Thank me later. By the way, to get the Michael Jackson addition to work, the keyboard reamins dark until you press the key, so it's probably best you practice typing in the dark with a common keyboard first. While you practice, go ahead and listen to a song that you'll be humming in your head for the rest of your life... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dzp0JETG0Pw

I wish the best for every living organism in the universe

The best means no disease, therefore the weak and feeble flourish and take over the world. Welcome to redneckville!

I wish for riper strawberries

granted - Oh, I thought you said "four rye per strawberries". And in trying to figure out what you meant, I just assumed you meant "rye" defined as "a male Gypsy." I thought you had plans with the Gypsies and the strawberries, dipped in hot fudge. Now how many strawberries will you be using?

I wish I could play with a Positron Emission Tomagraphy scanner.

granted - Oh, I thought you said "four rye per strawberries". And in trying to figure out what you meant, I just assumed you meant "rye" defined as "a male Gypsy." I thought you had plans with the Gypsies and the strawberries, dipped in hot fudge. Now how many strawberries will you be using?

I wish I could play with a Positron Emission Tomagraphy scanner.


Granted! But a terrible accident causes the PET scanner's dual gamma ray emissions to alter you at the subatomic level and now you are:


Gluon Man! Defender of the Strong Force!


Your archenemy is W.Z. Boson, leader of the international crime gang known as Weak Force.

Your new status as a subatomic super hero comes complete with secret hide-away, cool crime fighting gadgets, a butler, and a beautiful yet nosey female reporter always trying to get the scoop on you. (yes, that last bit is a double entendre)


I wish I could be Gluon Man's sidekick!

Granted - But you can't fly and your tights aren't tight enough.

Morning Wrey!

I wish this day would end faster.

granted - the day is done in a flash. But God is a hard-head, and there were certain things He intended for you to experience at normal speed, so he restarted the day a second before I granted you your wish. Seems like God can't figure out how He got us all stuck in a time loop.... Here we go again!

Granted! But a terrible accident causes the PET scanner's dual gamma ray emissions to alter you at the subatomic level and now you are:


Gluon Man! Defender of the Strong Force!


Your archenemy is W.Z. Boson, leader of the international crime gang known as Weak Force.

Your new status as a subatomic super hero comes complete with secret hide-away, cool crime fighting gadgets, a butler, and a beautiful yet nosey female reporter always trying to get the scoop on you. (yes, that last bit is a double entendre)
I dig all the cool gadgets and such!

I wish to eliminate W.Z. Boson and the Weak Force once and for all!

granted - the day is done in a flash. But God is a hard-head, and there were certain things He intended for you to experience at normal speed, so he restarted the day a second before I granted you your wish. Seems like God can't figure out how He got us all stuck in a time loop.... Here we go again!

[/COLOR]
I dig all the cool gadgets and such!

I wish to eliminate W.Z. Boson and the Weak Force once and for all!





Granted! But your crime fighting powers as Gluon Man are new and you have yet to master control of them. You blast W.Z. Boson and his evil crew of henchmen with your strong force beams and they are instantly transfered into an alternate universe! Alas, you were too close to them when this occured and the time/space vortex (which was caused by an imbalance due to the removal of matter from this universe without an equal replacement of energy) transferes you along with W.Z. Boson and crew.


You float, dreamlike, in a new universe made of pink marzipan clouds and and gumdrop stars pondering your fate....


*tune in next week for the new adventures of Gluon Man! Defender of the Strong Force!*



I wish I knew the fate of Gluon Man!

So do I!

Granted....but you will never be the same again!

I wish I had been around for this game....LOL

So do I!

Granted....but you will never be the same again!

I wish I had been around for this game....LOL


Granted! Gluon Man, Sdreero Boy, and Charm will be making appearances throughout the Word Games forum along with the W.Z. Boson and his international gang of thugs. But the storyline may turn corny and downright campy at times. If you play along, it will be assumed that you give permision for your additions to the Gluon Man story to find their way into a real full length story posted here at WF for everyone's enjoyment. Cool? :D:cool::p


I wish that everyone will play along (and not get annoyed at my Gluon Man tirade) :D

Granted but now you have to create more characters to keep the game interesting and fun!!!

ohhhh....I wish I knew more about Charm...LOL

granted - but you'll have to read another thread for that

I'm going to collect the Gluon Man posts so far and put them somewhere (I wish I'd do that!)... can't ungrant my own wish. hahahahahahaha!

um . . . you did do that.

I wish my brother would hurry up and come get me.

Granted he hurries up and arrives but only stays for a second. Literally, he knocks and is gone!

I wish I remembered to turn off my laptop last night.

Granted, but it turned itself off and now has a mind of it's own! :eek:

I wish I felt better.

Granted - you feel so good you decide to become a restroom attendant in pittsburg, bound by a year-long contract. This good feeling will probably wear off tomorow.
I wish the guy playing Sebastian wasn't so obnoxious.

Granted. Now he's kind to a fault but really annoying.

I wish my school didn't have a basketball team.

Granted - now they have a log-rolling team and you're the star roller.

I wish for once this game actually granted that last wish.

Granted but that last wish is one to rule the world. Thanks, now Smurfs are our dictators.

I wish my cat wasn't so darn cute.

granted! Now it's an ugly killer cat.

I wish I had a glass of nice fresh milk.

Granted it's so fresh theres a cow in your kitchen. Good luck getting it out.

I wish it would stop storming!

granted - say goodbye to rain for the next eight years

I wish I didn't have tendonitis

*Oh sorry*

Granted, but now that is your name. First and last.

I wish I remembered where I put that glue.

granted, now your house is filled with glue. It's everywhere.

I wish I ate more vegetables and less sugar.

granted, now your house is filled with glue. It's everywhere.

I wish I ate more vegetables and less sugar.


Granted! But all the world's veggies have become the characters from the children's show, Veggie Tales. So cute. So crunchy! Tuck in! :D


I wish I could get more protien without resorting to protien shakes. They all taste like cack! :(

Granted, but you now have to eat meat, therefore killing an innocent :(

I wish he would love me :)

Granted, but you now have to eat meat, therefore killing an innocent :(

I wish he would love me :)



Darlin! You are smitten. Alas, in all of the magical traditions in which I have received training, making someone fall in love is always prohibited.


I wish I could change the above.

ahh shucks I'll go ahead and grant that one with no *evil ending* :p

I wish it were two months ago...

granted -it's two months ago, but he still doesn't love you

I wish there was a vacuum to suck away all the lies and hurt feelings in the world

Granted but it in turns sucks in all the people it pertains to, meaning the entire population.

I wish my mother's boyfriend's grandchild's pets weren't such little rude beasts.

granted - They're not! They're BIG rude beasts now! And they don't care much for you.

I wish Bick's purple dinosaur in her avatar would bump the heart with its nose

Haha, omg :p that's a good idea. I might actually really grant that one!

Granted but it bumps it right into your nose :( Ouch!

I wish I had great ideas like that. (Btw. That /was/ a great one:p I'll have to try it out after I'm done with my latest one. ./hugs!)

Granted - now you have so many great ideas you can't follow one and don't know what to do with them!

I wish dinner was ready.

Granted! It's ready to eat you ;)

I wish my jaw wasn't in pain.

Granted. But now you have a stomach ache.
I wish that food wasn't chasing me around.

Granted you're in it's tummy!

I wish my mother wouldn't get home soon.

granted - she'll be back in two years.

I wish for a daisy!

Granted! It eats all of the food that you're waiting to eat.

I wish coffee wasn't so addicting.

granted - now it's disgusting and has no caffine

I wish pretty shoes were more comfortable

Granted! Now they just eat your feet if you wear them more then 2 hours.

I wish I wasn't getting a tummy cramp!

Sorry - my fault for granting the jaw wish. And what can I do now? Granted, but now your jaw hurts again.

I wish I at least couldn't smell that food cooking . . .

Granted your daisy ate your nose. :p

I wish it was 6pm all ready!

Granted - it is over hear in the east, but it's still the same time over there.

I wish I was rid of this darn daisy.

Granted now it's in your tummy and will explode in 30 minutes.

I wish my boyfriend wasn't busy.

granted - now he's a bum who bothers you 24/7.

I wish I wasn't so darn hungry

Granted you just finished eating a rancid lard sandwich. Now the very idea of eating is repugnant.

I wish I had a dog.

Granted - he eats your students' homework when you bring it home to correct. What're you going to tell them now?

I wish Scrubs was on 24/7.

granted, he's in your hot dog bun and you are eating him.

i wish my kids would stop argueing

Granted - They start fist-fighting.

I wish the weather was better.

granted - but all the doors and windows are gone from your house and you're stuck in the closet.

I wish people were nicer.

Me= Rawrangrynotniceperson! :p

Granted! But now they are so nice that they annoy the hell out of you!

I wish life was perfect.

granted - but now there's no conflict and several people across the nations are getting bored and commiting suicide.

I wish I did not have a headache!

Granted! Now you're mother does and she makes you clean the entire house.

I wish I would never cry again.

Granted but your eyes hurt because they are so dry!

I wish that I was ready to go into town now, instead of still half asleep.