Granted, writing music becomes very easy for you, and you provoke your friends to jealousy.

But that isn't the worst part, for as your skill keeps on increasing, you actually wake Beethoven up from his long slumber. As he watches you for a while, he notices that you are planning to become a better musician than he ever was. This infuriates him, and he calls his best friend Mozart to go to your house.

Just as you finish composing, "Ode to Peace," Beethoven and his friend kidnap you and put you in a dungon, where you spend the rest of your life.


I wish I was as talented as Shakespeare.

Granted. You are as talented at Shakespeare. Unfortunately, you could only speak and write in gibberish. So you were cursed with this brilliant mind and talent with no way to express it. Sorry, friend. The arts are painful.

I wish I could have the body I had when I was 18!

Wish granted. Before long, you notice that your body changes into that of an 18 year old. As you begin to become very exciting, suddenly you realize that you are teleported back to when you were 18! Good luck! ;)

I wish that leprechauns were real.

(Too easy - I've seen the movies) They do, but are vile creatures that perform unspeakably violent acts upon you until you die a very slow and agonizing death.

I wish I could discover the theoretical basis for practical artificial gravity and see it successfully developed.

I wish I could discover the theoretical basis for practical artificial gravity and see it successfully developed.


Hmmm.... All encompasing, well worded wish designed to stump the would-be evil-wisher? :cool: Let's see....


Granted! You discover that M Theory is in fact correct, and that gravity's weakness is caused by the fact that most of it is dispersed through other dimensions that are not palpable in our three dimensional universe. On the day of testing your prototype device, you throw caution to the wind and use yourself as the test subject. When the device is flicked on, you levitate and the crowd of eminent scientists breaks out in a round of applause. There is a brief moment of joy at the accomplishment and then a sudden feeling of vertigo overtakes you. The antigravity plate hums and twitches and you are instantly sucked into a short lived singularity caused by the mass of your own body as all of its gravitational force, through all of the dimensions is, for one instant, focused upon you in this universe.

Ouch!

I wish that flying fish could be kept as pets.

Granted but everytime you take your eyes off of it, it flies away from home. It takes you weeks, sometimes months to find him and by that time he's got a bad case of the rabies. He bites you, making you very sick. Your pet gets put down and you have to take painful shots. Poor thing.

I wish I didn't feel so awful.

Granted. now you feel even more awful.

I wish i had a katamari

Granted: But it's broken.

I wish I was with my baby.

granted. you and your baby are both rolled into my katamari along with the entire city of new york.

I wish i knew where the lost city of Atlantis was

Granted - it's under your bed! But when you go there, you accidentally break the royal orb of Lucrtietisans, and are put into an underwater prison.

I wish it was 1:30 PM here where I live.

Granted, but now it's always 1:30 and everybody is stuck at work right after lunchtime when you're tired and want to take a nap, but can't because you're stuck at work.

I wish I was on vacation right now.

granted, you go to mexico on vacation, lose your passport, and in an attempt to sneak through the border you are caught in the middle of a drug trafficing operation and are forever silenced.

I wish i could river dance.

Granted, you drown.

I wish I lived in a place with lots of trees.

Granted, you drown.

I wish I lived in a place with lots of trees.


Granted! Welcome to the deepest part of the Congo!


I wish I was a little taller.

Granted: But now everyone else is taller, too.

I wish to meet Marylin Manson.

no you don't.

I wish i had a credit card with no limit i never had to pay for.

Granted, but of course, you have to get it from the Black Market. You are arrested.

I wish I could controll time . . . (and get out of this 1:30 situation, because I get little enough sleep as it is.)

Granted. You are given a watch that can stop time, and while time is stopped you take off the watch to take your nap. Upon waking you knock the watch off the table and it breaks as it falls to the ground. Thus time is forever stopped for you. Just like what happened in The Twilight Zone.

I wish i had the power to rescue people from the twilight zone.

Granted, you rescue them, but they need a place to live . . . since there are so many of them, they overcome you and stay in your house. Now you're in the Twilight Zone.

I wish that pie was done baking . . .

The pie is indeed done baking, however, a new heat resistant virus was able to survive the extreme heat and after enjoying your delicious dessert, you are now stuck with the runs...

I wish that cheeseburgers were good for you...

Granted. In fact, they are so good for you, the body can't live without them - you must constantly eat cheeseburgers to stay alive.

I wish I could grant these wishes without having to come up with another wish.

Granted! You can now grant as many wishes as you want without coming up with another wish, However, each time you do, the mean torturous leprechauns spoken about earlier in this thread show up in your bedroom to torment you. So, you should probably always add another wish each time you grant one just to be safe!

I wish I had a tree in my backyard that grew money!

~Salinye

Granted! But it's roots reach the nearest bank, pulling the money from it. Soon you'll have police at your door, better make a getaway!!

I wish I could help Sal get away.

Granted. Suddenly the song "fifteen miles on the Eerie Canal" makes perfect sense, and you realize you were the one who wrote it! Time has made a fool of you yet again.

I wish people understood me...

Granted! But now you don't understand yourself. :(

I wish I could pull myself away from the computer and go watch my movie.

Granted. As you begin to watch the movie, something feels different. Looking around, you soon realize that your worst nightmare has come true. You are in the movie. I hope you picked a nonviolent one. ;)

I wish that the leprechauns would stop tormenting other people and would go back to torturing me again.

Granted! The leprechauns are torturing you again and errr....yeah, how do I make that worse you weirdo?? ;)

I wish Time Froze would get some therapy! :p

~Sali

Granted, he gets good therapy treatments from you and after three months of this, he almost becomes normal. ;) He stops wanting to inflict pain on himself and he begins to despise leprechauns. Also he begans to have a more positive outlook on life.

This is great and all, but unfortunately you begin to get his horrible complex from talking to him so much. Eventually, you end up in three insane asylums, because you are such a tough and challenging case. Sorry about your luck. ;)

I wish that I could watch a castle turn into ruins.

Granted. As you begin to watch the movie, something feels different. Looking around, you soon realize that your worst nightmare has come true. You are in the movie. I hope you picked a nonviolent one.

Mrooowwwl. Interesting. I was surrounded by Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan ;) Dream come true.

Wish Granted! But, the thing is you're stuck there as it naturally goes to ruins. Good luck! Wonder how long that will take :rolleyes:

I wish I was wide awake!

Granted, but you're wide awake the more you sleep.

I wish religion went extinct.

Granted, but then you relize God actually does exist and you just screwed over the entire human race.

I wish I had more self controll.

Granted! Only now you're so controlled that you have no drive and can't leave the house and pretty soon end up stuck in an EZ Chair until someone makes a news report about you. Bummer luck, dude!

I wish I had a talking squirrel.

Granted, now you have an animal that raids your bird feeder, then complains about the quality of seed you put out, and he hates you.

I wish I had a new ipod.

(ROFL that was funny!)

Granted! You have a new ipod, but it will only play Old School New Kids On the Block songs no matter what you program it to do. Hang tough!

I wish these business modules would write themselves!

Granted! But they write everything in pig latin and frequently insert random curse words into the work.

I wish I had some ice cold lemonade.

Granted. Only you got the dyslexic wish granting fairy and ended up with Old Lice Cemonade. Bummer deal.

I wish I could eliminate smoking tobacco from the planet!

Granted!! But you have a problem, all the smokers in the world are chasing you with shotguns and fire-sticks! I'm one of them ;) Better be careful.

I wish Sal wouldn't succeed with her wish!

Granted, I don't succeed with my wish, BUT all of the smokers miraculously lose their cravings and therefore end up quitting anyway (sans the shotguns and riots)! ;)

I wish I could spend Christmas in Hawaii!

Granted, but it's not all it's cut out to be. A volcano erupts, destroying your belongings and your hotel. You spend the rest of your vacation on the beach in a small hut. You get such bad sunburn your blisters become the size of small hands. Your money gets stolen and you can't get home because all airports have been burnt from the eruption. Not to mention, within a few weeks the ocean will eat the island.

I wish I could go save Sal.

Granted, but the helicopter you rented was too small for both of you, because of a moment of retardedness on your part. You, being the extremely charitable person you are (I mean you rented a helicopter for Pete's sake) offer her your spot, and wait on the island for the 'copter to come back and get you. You watch the lava flows destroy everything around you while you scramble on top of a nearby hill. The raw power and beauty inspire in your soul a hunger to know more about this curse that is a miracle. The helicopter returns to find you half dead from the heat and fumes and the pilot makes a daring rescue inspite of incredible danger to himself and his craft by landing on the hill as the lava flow rises steadily, encroaching on the tiny landing area. You spend months recovering from the burns to your skin and lungs, during which time you read everything about volcanoes and pyroclastic flows that you can. When you get better you enter college and spend the next decade studying geology. The money is no matter, because now you are starting to understand. Eventually you get a PHd and a grant enabling you to go out in the field and study these living mountains up close. In the end you die just like your idols, the Kraffts, run over by a pyroclastic flow on the side of a mountain in Japan. You leave behind a loving husband and three children who never understood your obsession.

I wish I had a burrito.

Haha, wow. Loved it :p I'll try and put as much effort into yours ;)

Granted! You get a free trip to Mexico. The moment you land there, you go straight for the nearest Restaurant. It’s not the best looking one but hey, you want that burrito right? You order, but the waitress catches your eye. She is absolutely gorgeous. Once she delivers your meal, you don’t really pay attention as you eat the pure deliciousness of it. You start going there every meal, just so you can see her. You get the same meal every time, yet your taste buds never taste it because you can’t keep your eyes off of her. After a week you finally get the guts to ask her out on a date. She breaks your heart and says she has a fiancée. You won’t stand for this so you go after him, murdering him in his sleep. Though soon enough, the cops are on your tail in both countries. You try and get her to run away to Africa with you, but she won’t budge and says she hates you. You try to get a plane to Africa, but it is shot down. You die in a fiery explosion, but you don’t care, because your heart is broken.

I wish I was tired right now.

Nice.

Granted, now you have narcolepsy.

I wish I wasn't at work.

Granted, now you are in an unearthly forest that is filled with goblins. I hope they are friendly.

I wish I had better eyesight.

granted. Now when you say "nerd alert!" you are only reminded of yourself.

I wish i had a nice suit.

Granted - you did, last year. It was in your closet the whole time, though, and you never knew it was there, because you forgot the day after you rented it. Finally, the renters came to take it away because it was so overdue, and you now owe them rent for a whole year.

I wish I had a bit more energy.

Granted, you get lots of energy. So much energy that now, you are super human. You can fly, and you can life one million times your own weight. Though, as you start to notice your powers… you start to cause accidents. By the end of the week you have accidentally killed over 200 citizens. You have to flee the country because you are now an outlaw. You fly to Germany where you meet a nice old man, he teaches you how to control your powers. You soon become a productive and helpful citizen of Germany. You work at a weapons lab, putting together all the heavy parts. It costs them less that way. Though soon enough you realize why everything you do is a secret as you are building nuclear bombs. The US gets word of this, and finds out you are a United States citizen. You are their first target.

You got on a short flight to the German border, as you want to visit Austria one fine day. You don’t notice the Nuclear bomb targeted at you. You go through excruciating pain as 15 square miles of land is put to past around you. You wake up, but every moment you are alive you only wish to be dead. Though, with that extra energy, you will never die. You’ll never have peace in mind, and certainly not in body. You will live for eternity in pain.

I wish I could save Oola from her fate.

Granted. you do that and then something bad happens.

I wish i could find the secret village of the mole people.

I wish i could find the secret village of the mole people.


Granted! They make you thier king. Here's your new look!

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1128/554140889_72473dfcae.jpg



I wish I had a pair of jeans that had a $100 bill in the pocket every time I reached in!

Granted! You buy the pair of jeans at half off. They are rather large on you, but no matter! That’s what a belt was made for. Every time you reach into your pocket you pull out you 100 dollars. You start doing that on a regular basis and you have to work no more! Yippee! You have more time for your boy that way. You start spending every moment you can with him, always ravishing him with the finest of gifts. One day, he isn’t there! You go to find him, and realize he’s off pawning your gifts so he can keep the cash!! You’re so hurt, but you don’t show it! You try to make things the same but every time you buy him more gifts all you can think about is him pocketing the money. You decide to confront him about it. Too bad you’re all worked up by the time you get to him. You end up yelling, and he runs away in tears. In reality he was saving the money to buy you a nice new car! Though, now he is beyond hurt. You wake up the next morning to a note, he has moved away and never wants to see you again. :( You’re so hurt, you decide to hide away in your house, buying stuff on ebay until the day you die.

I wish I could save Wrey from his awful fate. :(

Granted, you fly off to Austria, where he's moved, and make amends. Wrey is so grateful he gives you the jeans, and you decide to put them away in your closet, because you learned from Wrey's mistakes - but one day, someone tells the police you have drugs in your home. Fortunately, when they search your house, they don't find any, but they do find the pants, who, after having such a tentative harvester as Wrey was, have produced hundreds of $100 bills, and they expect you stole it, because why else would you hide such a large sum? And you're off to the clink. :(

I wish I had the money to bail Bick out.

Granted. But the money comes from selling your organs.



I wish people would keep their promises to me...

Granted! Now all secrets and promises that were made, have to be kept by everyone else.

One dark evening you run up to your friend with tears in your eyes and a knife in your shoulder. You tell him everything that happened, and you tell him who did it. They are after you, and you make him promise not to say anything. You flee from his house, and get into police custody. Though, there is one problem, you go into a coma. You forget everything that happened that night and bad luck for you, the evidence points right at you! You are now being charged for the murder! Only your friend knows the name of the real killer and only he can save you! You see our problem now? He can’t tell, he made a promise to you!

You spend the next 40+ years of your life in jail, you are finally let out at the age of 67! You go back into society and nothing makes sense anymore! You’ve lost all friends and family that you had made while you were a teen and young adult. You get a job at a grocery store, but you life is empty.

After a month of it, you can bare it no more. You take a rope, tying it to the wall of your very small, ruddy apartment. You say your last tearful good byes and wish you could just remember that day. You wish you had never made the wish in the first place.

I wish I could go stop Banzai from killing himself :(

Granted, but he lives at your house and annoys you 24/7 because you reached out.

I wish my stomach didn't hurt.

Granted! Your stomach never hurts again, that would include the times your stomach tells you it’s hungry! You eventually stop eating, because you’re never hungry anymore! You lose so much weight, you look like skin and bones. Your family and friends get concerned, taking you to the hospital. You are there for over a month as they get you back to your peek, healthwise. You try and eat, but you never feel like you should be. Soon enough, you stop eating again. You run away from your home town, and fly to Austria. You live in the countryside and you learn German. Though after a few months of eating very little, your body weakens. Yet you still refuse to eat enough.

You take a blanket to a field of flowers and you look up at the clouds. You make a wish for that moment to last forever as the breeze is gentle, the birds are chirping and warmth fills your body. You fall into a forever slumber as your weak body finally gives up. You are left forever dreaming of that day, being completely content.

I wish she didn’t have to die

(Why do all these grantings involve Austria?)

Granted, but now you have to lie in the flowers with me, looking up into the sky for eternity. I don't get bored, because this is what I wanted, right? But you do.

I wish Bick didn't waste her life staring at the sky.

Granted but she spends all of her time annoying you instead.

I wish I could fly.

(Austria is the next best thing to Germany ;) And we all know my thoughts of Germany.)

Granted, giant white wings sprout from your back. You hear the cracking of bones as it fuses with your spine. You scream out in pain, falling back unconscious. When you wake up you’re in a government building. You are caged, and your food sits in a bowl next to you. You take a gulp from the stream they connected to your room. You are half-naked, and your back throbs painfully from your wings. You try out your flight, thankful the room is rather spacious. You learn to fly, but they never tell you what’s going on and they never even talk to you.

You are tired of being caged and you make an escape plan. You knock out the guards that change your food every night, and flee from the government building. You fly off to Austria and go to the countryside. Once there you see a girl annoying another as they stare up into the beautiful sky. You ask to join them, but they act like you’re not there. You try to touch one of them when you realize… you are dead. The ability of flight has killed you, and those weren’t government officials. Those were the demons that were granting your worse nightmare, to be forever caged. You scream, grabbing your head as you realize you are screwed. You look back and the demons are back for you. This time they have chains. Now, not only will you be caged for eternity, but you won’t be able to fly.

I wish he didn’t have to die to get his wish granted.

(I know. ;) )
Granted . . . hast Du etwas Zeit fuer mich? Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich . . .
Instead, he comes to join us looking at the sky. Finally, he gets bored and he decides to fly off, asking if you'd like to come along. Like I said before, you're quite bored and annoying me is getting old so you go with him. You soon land in Amsterdam, where almost anything is legal, and some people do not even notice Shadow's wings, thinking they must be fake, untill he gets into a fight, and someone rips his shirt. Seeing that the wings are actually attached, they take him for tests, and you along as well. Since you don't speak too much German, you can't understand half of what they're saying, so you simply go along with what they are doing. When they ask if you are the creator of this mutant, you can only answer "ja", because you have no clue what they're asking. So they hold you hostage there, trying to make you teach them the secret to his wings, only you don't know the secret, or even what they ask you. Pretty soon, just answering "ja" or "nine" gets you into quite a mess . . . and so you should've just stayed in the meadow.

I wish I wasn't stuck in the meadow . . .

Granted! You instead have to come and save us. You sneak in, going around in stealth mode until you find us both. There are hundreds of doors that lead out of the room, and you can’t remember which one you entered in. They all have some unreadable German sign on them. You take us towards the one that you think you entered in, only for us to run into hundreds of German guards. We are instantly shot out. None of us dies but we have no way to escape as we are tied down tightly.

I wish I could get us out of that situation.

Granted. You find a piece of glass and cut our ropes, and we run/fly away, getting out of the base. Unfortunatley, as soon as we're out, someone mistakes you for a celebrity, and we must run away from a mob of fans - only Shadow can get away as he has wings.

I wish the fans would stop chasing us . . .

Granted but they stop chasing us because I dropped you onto the fans to make them stop.

I wish that Bick could fly so I wouldn't have to always carry her while we're up in the air.

Granted. Bick also has wings, but her wings are golden and far better than yours. She can fly higher and faster, and you eventually get fiercely jealous.

I wish I wasn't the only one who couldn't fly . . .

Granted, your not the only one who can't fly because Bick's wings fall off, and she falls to the ground, landing on you.

I wish everyone could fly.

Granted, but since everyone can do it, after awhile they (and you) no longer appreciate it and everyone now wants gills!
*sigh. humans will never be satisfied*

I wish people could want what they have.

Granted. People can all have what they want, but since most people want the same thing life becomes very boring and bland.

I wish I could have a new car.

(Actually, I didn't wish for people to have what they wanted, but to want what they had. Quite a difference.)

Granted, but it's stolen, and you get arrested.

(lol, I brain farted. Mea Culpa)

where's your wish?

Oops, sorry.

I wish I could stop playing word games and write a bit before bed.

Granted! You get off the computer and you grab a pencil to write. Your hand goes with the flow as your head spits out the ideas. You realize these aren’t the ideas you’ve been thinking of for the past few weeks. You also notice it’s in another language. After you’re done writing, you can’t sleep anymore. You’re head is full of new ideas… scary ideas. At last you fall asleep.

When you wake up you are surrounded by a war zone. It’s snowing, so you know it’s been a long time since you went to bed that night. You walk around, and you realize this is your home town. No one is alive. You look everywhere for clues on what happened, until you find a sheet from a newspaper. Your face is on it, and you have an evil smile on your face.

“Oola becomes dictator of Earth!” is in big bold words. You look at yourself in a puddle of water. You have a crown on. You smile to yourself as you go in search for the people you now lead. Too bad you killed everyone in a great battle. You’re now alone on a desolate war torn planet.

I wish I would have lived through all that.

Granted! You are now my vice-dictator. And you're making some wasabi panna cotta because I wonder what it tastes like, but when I taste it, I start to sob becuase it reminds me of life before I fell asleep and you are stuck consoling me for eternity.

I wish you would have lots of fun when I go to bed in ten minutes.

Granted! You go to bed, but soon you find out you have a visitor at your door. It’s pouring rain outside and you see a giant grinning face from your window. You hide under you covers, you don’t know who it is. After a few more minutes your bell rings again. You take out your bat and you head down the steps. You open your door when you hear a scream.

“HI!” But you out of fear, hit me in the head. You look at my wet, bloodied body and realize you’ve just killed me. I sure did have fun, didn’t I? :p


I wish I was still alive.

Granted but you will die soon.

I wish All authours except my favorite were dead.

Granted. All other authors drop dead, this includes budding authors as well. All those that dreamed of being something more, are now dead. That would include you, but somehow, you are kept safe from the magic. You live through life, realizing you just killed off a good portion of the world. You’ve lost the will to write, and you obsess over your favorite authors work. You finally get the guts to go search for him.

You end up finding him in Germany. He is hiding, as everyone hates him. They hate him for being the last of the authors. He takes you under his wing, and together you two write. You come out with many books together, but the public hates you. You two are sick of it and you decide to make your last stand. Armed with very sharp pencils you face the army of the public. Together you fight pen against knife, and words against firearm. With your skills, you had no chance against these millions of people. You die in the arms of your favorite author.

I wish someone would make more wishes.

Granted. And so, we'd continue making wishes till our voice box became inflamed and blocked our windpipe, and this way we'll have to have it sliced out and we would not be able to talk, so when someone comes to murder us we won't be able to object.

I wish I were a pilot.

Granted, you are a pilot. You fly for the United States Airforce. You are one of the best female pilots. War on Japan is announced, though for some reason it’s announced only to a few of the great. You being one of them, are sworn to secrecy as you fly out to Japan. You can’t get your mind off what you’re about to do, as you look at the nuclear bombs on your beautiful jet. As you pass over China, you realize the president has lost his mind. Bombing Japan would only cause a 3rd world war.

You talk to your other pilots and together you decide to treason against your own country. You don’t bomb Japan. You head back, landing in Germany for fuel. You walk back and forth as you think of what you just did. You defied a direct order from the president and you know you’ll have to pay. You bite your lip as the other pilots look at you for direction. You have no where to go, you can’t go back home. That would mean death.

You bury the missiles in a far away desolate area of Germany. Together you make a society with the other pilots, making a pact to never talk about it again. Years pass and nothing happens. You marry one of the other pilots and you have children. It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and you’re showing your children your religion when you hear the noise. You look out and you scream. Though, it’s too late as a massive explosion consumes 100 square miles around your place. You die with your children in your arms as a nuclear blast takes out a good portion of Germany. The war you tried to prevent happened anyways, and you’re no longer there to help protect mother earth as her people destroy her.

I wish I could stop Char from dying.

Granted, but then she kills you.
:p

I wish I had a real cell phone!

Granted! You get a real phone, from your parents as a birthday gift. You go to the company store to get you plan all set up, when you hear a growl from behind you. You turn around and you see two people fighting each other to the death. Next to them are their cell phones. You run out with your phone still in your hand. You watch as a plane crashes from the sky. Cars crash, and people are screaming like wild animals. You’ve just stepped into Stephan Kings book, Cell. You flee for your life, dropping your phone on the ground. It breaks into two pieces. Lucky for you.

You hide yourself into your home, as you wait it out. Your parents never return home as you wait inside. You start going out during the nights when the beasts are asleep and you wander around Alaska. You never find anyone that hadn’t been turned into one of the beasts. Eventually you are attacked and taken….

I wish I could go save Katface.

Granted
but u die while saving Katface

I wish I was smarter

Granted! With every second that passes, your knowledge of everything around you escalates. After only a few days you can answer any math problem. Within weeks you can solve all the worlds problem. You give the answer to war, putting the world into a 100 year peace. You solve world hunger and global warming. Your life is good, until after months of the growing, you realize you haven’t stopped gaining more knowledge. The pain is unbearable and you start to sleep all you can. You realize, it will never stop growing. You not only live in pain for years to come, but you can’t get close to anyone, as your IQ is off the charts. No one understands you anymore, in fact, you barely understand yourself.

You finally decide it’s time to freeze yourself, cryogenically. Though, what you don’t know is, your knowledge still builds as you slumber, frozen. When you are awakened, thousands of years later. You are floating in space, the earth is no where in sight, and your head is enormous. You are left alive for only moments as your oxygen in your box runs out.

I wish I could stop sneezing.

Granted! But you start coughing and hiccuping for the rest of your life.

I wish that my brother isn't mean

Granted! Your brother is now one of the nicest guys you know. He waits at your feet, always doing what you want of him. Soon enough, he’s just like your own servant. Though, he stops being a person and is more like a pet. He follows you onto college, doing all your school work, and all the house work. You start to get lazy, gaining over 400 pounds. Though, you graduate with honors.

You soon go on to a career, but you never actually work. Your brother does it for you. At the age of 34, you die of a heart attack, and your brother being your loyal servant, dies with you.

I wish I hadn’t taken my medications.

do i have to tell you what would happen if you didn't take the medicine?

I wish i was a Halo master.

Granted! you become a Halo master but everyone shuns you because you you spent so much time and became a Halo master. After some time you are pissed at everyone and then you go to kill everyone that shunned you. You go your own brother or sister or mother shoots you.

I wish Darthgumby wont become a Halo master

Granted - you do! And you suffer the same fate as he would have, had you not made that wish.

I wish I had more creativity tonight.

Granted! There is a lot of creativity tonight. That night, someone stabs you and kills you

I wish my life would be simpler

granted - you have Down's Syndrome.

I wish I responded to medication better.

Granted - you respond to medication better, but better doesn't mean no side effects, you suffer every side effect known to man and animal and is put to sleep in a hospital

I wish Hubert would be less childish and stop saying stuff like killing this and die this

(Isn't that a little hypocritical since you just had me "put to sleep"?)

Granted. Now Hubert is very old, and is a genius when it comes to this game. He comes up with lengthy and personal stories for every wish which he strives to come up with, but the players' fate is far worse than death. Then, after a while, he grows tired of simply playing the game, and starts actually granting the wishes, twists included.

I wish I didn't want any cake right now.

Granted, you never want cake again, actually. Everytime you bake one, you don’t even try the batter. That soon becomes a problem, because you end up becoming a famous cake-baker. The president hires you, and you of course don’t take the batter before giving it to him. He’s allergic to peanuts, and if you had tasted the batter—you have known. You are taken into custody and sent to a far-away prison. You stay there for the next 50 years, because you accidentally killed the president.

When you get out, you go back to your cake baking. Though the only problem, while you were in the clink you kind of lost it. You soon start poisoning every cake you make, and soon enough you’ve killed over 3000 people. You make a run for the Mexico-American border. You make it across to Mexico, only to be shot down. You wake up in the hospital, and now… all you can see is cake. Head trauma.

I wish I could have some of that cake made for the president.

Granted, before I get shot down at the border, I figure, why should a perfectly good cake go to waste? So I give it to you. Unfortunately, you discover that I stole the cake from the museum it was in to give it to you. Every time you go to take a bite, the cops come after you - but, like you wished, you can have some of that cake.

I wish you could have your cake and eat it too.

(putting you to sleep was good for you, you could still be alive but be in terrible pain, i did you a favor XD)
Granted, except a flying monkey of Oz steals the cake after you take a bite.

That's okay. I don't like peanut butter anyway.

I wish I didn't have such a terrible toothache.

Granted, but first, you have to go to the dentist to stop it, costing you $50,000,000 dollars which is money you don't have. Putting you, and your family in debt and due to the failing economy, you are now homeless :-(

I wish I could run over 100 MPH if i wanted to

Granted, but seeing how much friction you produce, you catch on fire the first time you do that.

I wish I had a nice rubbermaid box to keep the rain off my laptop instead of this cardboard one. ;) (since I'm homeless, after all.)

Granted! The laptop isnt wet anymore but the laptop breaks down

I wish my brother wont call me lame

granted, but might I remind you there are plenty of worse things he could call you . . .

I wish I had some new pictures.

Granted! But all the new pictures burn in a fire set by your mother

I wish I was Master Chief

Granted, you're now Master Cheif in the army because of a typo.

I wish these vegetarian vitamins were smaller.

Granted, but when you grab them they break too easily.

I wish I owned a golf kart.

Granted! You own your own golf cart, it runs splendidly. Though your first day on the course is a rough one, as you realize it has a mind of it’s own. You’ve got your own Herbie cart! He’s more a Christine though, as he starts to run over your fellow golfers! You are put into jail after many injuries and one death. You are sent to an Insane Asylum as you tell your story about the killer golf cart.

While in there you make friends with a mass murderer and eventually you get the idea of escape. With his help, you both make it out. You get an apartment, though soon enough people around your area are going missing. After a month, your friend goes missing. The next day, the police smash into your house. You are arrested for 15 murders within the block. You are sent to a padded room, and chained up. You keep mostly sane for a few years, until you take to talking to yourself. After about a decade you get a minor case of Schitzophrenia. You end up losing all sense of yourself, and eventually you are BrinkofDawn… no more. You are now Mister Huggles, and you think you’re a mass murderer. You have a weird fetish for golf carts, and their pictures now hang all over your wall. ;)

I wish I had a cool nickname like Mister Huggles.

Granted, but now you are a man (hence the term "mister") and you walk around in short shorts and a wife beater tank top that says "I brake for hugs".

I wish I was better at saying NO! :)

Granted, but later that day you are mugged while walking home. When the robber tells you to empty your pockets and hand over your wallet, you of course refuse and are stabbed in the following struggle.

I wish I wasn't a procrastinator.

Granted! Since you aren't a procrastinator anymore, you finish all your work in time. Since you did your work in the beginning, you forgot about them all and fail school.

I wish I wasn't a procrastinator.

Do I have to tell you why you shouldn't wish the same wish you just ruined?
Granted, you finish all your work in time. In fact, you finish early. You are so efficient that you finish all four years of high school and college in record time. Unfortunatley, you leave all your friends behind in your speed. The president soon recruits you, and you are very honored to work with him. That is, untill you find out that he was recruiting you for his whitehouse supermarket. You don't want to let him down, because this luxary of having his groceries so efficiently stocked makes him happy and a better president, but you work in that dead-end line of work your entire life.

I wish my stomach wouldn't hurt.

Granted. you no longer feel pain, in fact your entire sense of touch is gone. one day you mistakenly go swimming in piranha infested waters but you don't realize that anything's amiss until it' too late.... snap.

i wish i was a ninja with batwings

Granted, you are one of the most stealthy ninjas ever recorded… or should it be not recorded? You’re wings are like a bats, but much larger. You are sent on a mission to spy, and retain information from a certain man. You fly your way into his fortress, landing as silent as the wind. You go through his building, no one ever knowing you were there. You stop at his door, and you listen in. You hear him talking on the phone, but your shock, it’s about the man that sent you. Not only that… but it seems he’s talking to your boss. They plan on killing him. You know you have to save him, and you quickly flee the site. Though, you are less quiet this time. You are heard by the guard dogs as you leave, letting the people know someone heard their conversation.

You quickly relay this message to your friend, and he flees the country. You need to flee as well, knowing there will be people on your tail. You can’t leave just yet, you’ve got family and a lover to take care of. You say your last good byes to them all, tears falling from your eyes. You know it must be done, or their lives would be at stake. You flee to Austria and move to the countryside. You live there in peace for many years.

One day as you’re taking a walk down a rugged path, you hear yelling coming from the small town you live in. You rush there, a sword in hand. You look in shock as the town is burned to the ground, and the people slaughtered. Your mind screams for revenge, until you notice who did it. It’s your lover, and she has hate in her eyes. You decide to confront her, only to realize she plans to kill you. You fight for what feels like hours, until you have your sword to her throat. Tears fall from your eyes as you realize, you have to kill her or she will kill you. You pull her up to you, with a the sword still to her throat. You mutter into her ear.

“I love you.” You feel little pain as you thrust the sword through both your hearts. You both fall down, with her ontop of you. Your last vision is of her beautiful eyes staring down at you. The rain comes down, washing the blood that flows, and your left to be forever in eachothers arms.

I wish that hadn’t ended so romantically.

It ended much less romantically but that means that they both died in an outhouse with Shrek.

I wish for a few more shrunken heads for on my desk.

Granted, on your desk arrive three shrunken heads. As you are mesmorized by their coolness, you hear a ticking sound outside your door. You quickly run to the door and open it. You look in shock as a man walks in, he has a bomb strapped to his chest. He starts to mumble some words you can’t understand. You quickly grab your children and you run out the door. You get away just in time for your home to be blown up.

You soon move your family to the outskirts of Austria, you can’t stand to live in the United States after all that mess. Your shrunken heads somehow lived, and you now place them on your new computer desk. While you’re on the computer one day, you hear muttering. Everytime you look, the muttering stops. Soon enough, you catch your heads in the action of speaking. They look at you with those black holes, and they smile. Suddenly, your head starts to ache. You scream in pain as your head starts to crack. You run to a mirror, doubling over in pain as you realize… your head is shrinking too. You scream for help, and your family runs to your aid. But it’s too late, by the time you get there, you’re just like those things on your desk.

Your family thinks nothing of it, as the shrunken head looks nothing like you, and there is no body to speak of. You are cursed to forever sit on your desk, chattering away while no one is looking. Or at least you’d better hope, or someone in your family will have the same fate as you….

I wish my nose didn’t hurt.

(Bick, you have very interesting stories :D)

Granted. It doesn't hurt. In fact, you don't feel it at all and everything seems to be normal for you. That is, until one day when you go to blow your nose with a tissue large chunks of flesh rip through the tissue as you realize your nose fell off. Why? No one knows, but apparantley it was bound to happen sooner or later if you couldn't feel it.


Anywho, I wish I had a slurpy, I'm thirsty :D

(OMG I am a slurpy addict, you have NO idea!)

Okay, so GRANTED you get a slurpee. Only then, this mad crazy woman stalker from Washington hunts you down and STEALS your slurpee leaving you tied up in a closet and bewildered.

I wish I had time to be lazy today!

Granted! Not only do you have time to be lazy today but you are suddenly given all the time in the world! It is a crushing weight that mashes aging into reverse and you become younger and younger until you disappear with a slight popping sound.

I wish the price of postage would stop going up.

Granted! Since the government spends so much on postage to keep it on the same price, there were more letters sent since iits not going to grow more expensive. More supply and demand. Everyone focuses on stamps because everyone wants them and the economy fails and there is another great depression

I wish no one is poor

Granted, but since no one is poor anymore, the rich have no one to compare there lives against. Bill Gates becomes depressed and shuts down Microsoft. And since Steve Jobs has no one to try and beat, apple loses it's edge and stops making innovative thing to spend money on. Consumers lose hope and the economy faulters and goes into a massive slump. This create mass riots and deaths on a great scale. oh yeah aliens also invade.

I wish I was not so amazing looking

Granted, now you're uglier than crap :D

I wish I had a klondike bar

Granted, you have one in front of you now. You have one problem though, as you realize you aren’t even remotely hungry. You try and concentrate at the computer, but you just can’t seem to as the icy coolness from the bar seems to radiate from it. Your hands keep going for it, but your full stomach protests. You are like this for almost an hour, your RPGing now pays the price for it.

You decide, you can’t take it anymore, and you finally thrust the wrapper off. You stop in your tracks as piece of the chocolate crust falls to the desk. The sweet, sticky vanilla ice cream drips to the ground. Your tongue salivates, and you dive in for a bite. Suddenly the phone rings, you look at the time. It’s almost midnight. You pick up the phone, quickly setting the bar down. It’s your mother and she was in a car accident. She needs you to come over right away. You hang up, and scream in frustration as you lick the melted chocolate from the crust off your fingers.

You quickly put the wrapper back around the bar and toss it into the freezer. You rush to your car and speed to the hospital. You get there, your heart is racing as you are led to her room. You stop at her door, and look in. She has a smile on her face, but her eyes are shut. She’s in a hospital gown. You thrust the door open, and go to her side. She doesn’t respond as take her hand. You can feel the tears well up in your eyes.

“But I just talked to her!” you scream at the nurse. She looked at you with sad eyes.

“She’ll live.” She mutters, “But you see, there is only one cure…”

You stand up, and grab her shoulders with great force, “What’s the cure!?” You bellow, shaking her. She walks backwards, fear in her eyes.

“You—“ she said biting her lip, “You have to give her your klondike bar.”

You scream, falling to the ground. You cry into your knees as you think of that sweet, chocolately goodness. But you love your mother dearly….

--------

You sit at home on the computer. You take a bite of your klondike bar with a smile, as it melts into your mouth. Mmmmm. You groan in pure ecstasy.

What would you do for a klondike bar?

I wish that hadn’t been so fun to write.

granted, now I didn't laugh so hard reading what you typed :D

I wish I could type like that

Granted! You can type as well as that, though you soon generate a mind like mine. You daydream, sometimes forgetting where you are. You can never stop thinking now. Your ideas are so far out there, you don’t even know how to put them down on the paper. Soon enough, the typing almost becomes useless. You realize you can only seem to type like that… in the word game.

You grow frustrated and you decide, you need to get to another… a better atmosphere. You leave for Austria, going to the countryside. You get a small cottage there, and on a daily basis you take walks. You learn to speak German, and you have a new lookout on life. Every night you sit at the computer, and open your Word Document. Nothing ever seems to flow from your fingers.

After years of this, you can’t handle it any longer. Your ideas scare you, and they stay in there. They never come out, flowing onto the paper like the word games seems to allow. You walk one winter outside, with no clothes on. You walk until you reach an open field of vast whiteness. You get the idea. You write it out with your finger into the snow. Soon enough, you’re frozen in all areas, but your idea is out and written in the snow. You fall down, unable to feel your body any longer at your last period. You look up, the numbness feeling good on your freezing skin. The sun is going down, and it’s starting to snow. What a perfect ending to wretched life.

I wish my mother would get done with the oven so I can bake my cookies!

Granted, the oven is suddenly empty.

As you cook alone, all going to plan, you let your mind drift ahead to the look on his face as he tastes the sweet biscuits. As you sprinkle the white powder into the mix, images of his "business development" trips seethe through your head like the dough mix through your fingers. His stories of working late, client lunches on weekends, and wrong number phone calls are overtaken by the private investigators report and photographs. You're suddenly hot with anger, cooled only by the refreshing thoughts of revenge.

The front door opens. "Wow, something smells good. Sorry I'm late".
You reply with a grin "No problem honey, no problem at all. I made cookies!"

I wish I could commit myself to one piece of writing!

Granted! You commit yourself to only one piece of writing. All your other ideas are thrown into the fire, and you never leave the computer, until you are sure you’re done writing it out. You spend hours, getting it down in your head at first. You need to find the topic. After contemplating, you finally decide on life. You decide to write a short story on what life really means.

You start out writing it by hand, but quickly go back to writing it out on the computer. By the end of the day, you’ve been working on it for at least 16 hours, and you’re 8 pages in. You realize, you’ve barely even dented the meaning of life, and you realize before you can even continue it, you must read up on some books. You spend the next week, barely eating, sleeping or drinking as you read book after book. By the end of the month, you’re happy with all you know about the meaning of life, and you go back to your writing. You write that entire day, a good 20 hours of writing. You read through what you have, and you know, even with the 34 pages, this isn’t the entire meaning of life.

You fly all around the world, interviewing and meeting the people that know the meaning. Some of it is religious and some of it not. By the end of 45 years, you’ve interviewed and seen all you need to see. You go back to your computer after all these years and you write. By the end of three weeks, you look at your accomplishment. No longer is your idea just a simple story on the meaning of life, it is the ultimate novel on the meaning of life. Your ‘story’ is now 45,000 pages long, with great detail and solid proof that you have found the meaning to life. As you go to press save, a chill runs through your house. You’re past your 60’s, and you’ve for the past 45 years haven’t taken care of yourself. You save, and go to sleep. Too bad you never wake up, as your old age and lack of healthiness catches up with you.

You make billions after your death, like many great artists do.

I wish death was never an option again.

Granted. Now you can't die, but unfortunately, you still grow old, so eventually you're stuck forever living with a really old body, moping around in a hospital somewhere :p

I wish I had my true love *sighs dreamily*

(you asked for it :p)

Granted! You have all ready found your true love. After years of being the best of friends with Devon online, you guys finally meet when you move out for College. You hit it off directly, and soon enough you move to the same state. After months of amazing dates, and funs laughs, and a sloppy first kiss, you move in together.

You guys rarely argue and when you do, Devon shows what a great guy he is, and lets you win. After a few years, you two go out on a romantic Valentines Day dinner. The musician is playing your song, “I kissed a girl” By Katie Perry. The finest white wine is served and the food is from the recipes of the famous Bick. He looks into your eyes, and gives you one of his adorable smiles. You can see the sweat dropping from his forehead as he gets on his knee.

“Katface.” He says, his hands shaking a he pulls out a magnificent ring, “Will you Marry me?”

You look at Devonface in shock, your hand grabs your heart. You bend down, kissing him on the forehead.

“Yes!” you scream. He grabs you, lifting you up into his arms with a tearful hug.

Within the next few months, you plan your wedding with your friend Bickface. After a crazy bachelorette party (Fireman and his hose included.) Bick helps zip up your wedding gown. She is in her maid of honors dress, with a broad smile on her face. She can’t help but scream every few minutes as she realizes her two friends are going to get married.

You walk out, with Bick not far behind you. The flowers are thrown and the rings brought out as you make it up to the love of your life. You both smile at one another, as Bick cries in the corner. Love is in the air, as a Pastor reads from the bible.

As you say your vows, your voice gets shakey, and the world seems to be falling apart. You don’t realize, that’s what love feels like.

After the rice is thrown and the cake eaten, you leave to your honeymoon. You two run off to Austria, where Devonface becomes a famous Doctor, and you and Bick become famous writers, and sell millions of copies translated into German.

You and Devon grow old together, and you two never stop loving one another….

The evil of the wish? There is no evil when it comes to Katface and Devonface ;)

I wish Bick wasn’t always alone in her grants!

Granted! Bick is busily granting mostly evil wishes, giggling, and poking her keyboard but she is lonely. One day a gang of new WF.org members with little avatars of elves, goblins, and fairies join in and start granting wishes but every time that they do a piece of hardware falls off of Bick's chair, car, or something in her house. They find the game great fun and soon Bick is left sitting in the middle of the unassembled ruins of everything she once had, feverishly trying to get a wish granting in edgewise with her new friends while the screws that hold the cpu of her computer in place begin to unscrew due to the wish granting of the others...

I wish my garden would mulch itself.

Granted! You have no more mulch left and the stores are out of stock.

I wish I could have three wishes!

Granted, but they're all on this game . . .

I wish I wouldn't worry so much.

granted, but you screw up the first wish and you spend the other two wishes trying to fix the first but with no avail...and now you have a head the shape of a watermelon, ten fingers, and a talking mole on the side of your face named Greg...:D

I wish I had a watermelon...

(gah! my post!!!)

Granted! You have a watermelon. You drop the watermelon and it gets ruined and and you leave in disgust with a pang of hunger in your stomach

I wish poverty would just disappear

Granted. It disappears and because nobody can see it, nobody helps. Millions of impoverished people either die or suddenly get up and get jobs depending on their situation.

I wish I wasn't strapped to my computer.

Granted - you are mega-hyper-super-glued to it instead

I wish that everyone would stop fighting with each other over little or nothing!

Granted. The world stops fighting over petty issues. Couples begin getting along in supermarkets, students start listening to teachers.

The world spins, for some time, in blissful hypercolour. Before long, worrying about who's turns it is to take out the trash is but a distant, greyscale memory.

Progress lay lifeless, a mere shadow of his former self. As the world he once rolled the dice upon shifted above him, he said a small prayer, for a change of a different kind.

I wish someone would look below the surface, and have the time to analyse something before throwing opinions around.

Granted, now nothing ever gets done.

I wish I had more time . . .

Bang, more time, but now your are confined to your bed.

I wish I could discover a cure for the common cold!

Granted, but it means studying around the virus, and eventually you discover you can heal anyone of the common cold with your cure. That is, everyone except yourself.

I wish my stomach didn't hurt.

Granted. After years of having your stomach hurt, you are very glad to see that it is finally painfree. However, after a few days, you began to notice that your back is beginning to hurt instead of your stomach. As you back worsens, it gets so bad that can't bend over at all. Eventually, you are reduced to living in a hospital for the rest of your life.


I wish that fire wouldn't hurt so much every time I stick my hands into it.

Fine. Every time you put your hands into fire it doesnt hurt. However when you remove your hands they burn extremely, but it leaves you with removal symptoms so you want to put your hands back in.

I wish that life was simpler

Granted! You have slaves all over the place and you become lazy. You have your slaves do everything and you die from obesity

Whats your wish?

whoops...
sorry
I wish that I would be able to put my wish up without forgetting

Great. You can put your wish up without forgetting but then you obsess over your wish. You write it on a piece of paper and stick it to the bathroom mirror, you write it on your hand, you mow it into your neighbor's lawn, you spray-paint it on the NFL stadium not far from where you live and get arrested.

In prison you still can't stop obsessing over the wish and you begin to wish you could forget it. It echoes through your head every minute and you can't sleep. You start screaming it to other prisoners who beat you up and eventually help you to escape because they just can't stand you yelling all the time.

Penniless, you roam the earth, haunted and bedeviled by your wish, cursed to tell it to every single person you meet.


I wish I had central air conditioning. (dang, this one's too easy)

granted, but you buy it from cheap people and it ends up breaking on you and have no warranty for it.

I wish I had scotch tape.

You have scotch tape. in fact you have so much scotch tape that you can hardly get into your apartment. Every room is filled with the stuff. boxes upon boxes of it.

You used to be quite large, but are now gaunt as every penny you get goes on tape. When you are in situations where you need some tape, you borrow it off your friends, but it somehow finds it's way into your pockets.

People start to shun you, knowing you as a hoarder of scotch tape, but you do not care, because you have your tap, your lovely scotch tape

When three weeks later, the emergency services have to break in, they cannot find your body as you are hidden by boxes of scotch tape.

One enterprising neighbour steals your tape and you curse him from beyond the grave to suffer your self same curse. And so the cycle continues!


I wish, I never made a mistake, either now or in the future!

Granted! You never make anymore mistakes but all your friends around you make mistakes and spill things on you or hit you accidentally

Dude, you just broke the chain

I wish I owned a white lion

Granted - but as you feed it one day it devours you in one fell swoop - now who owns who???

I wish My football team were more successful?

Granted. Your football team starts to win games.

First, a couple in a row. Then all of a sudden, they've won ten in a row, then the grand final! They're premiers for 2008! You can't believe the change in form, and neither can they. No under 12s team has ever revived a season from such a poor start - A performance which will surely go down in juniors history.

Bet ya' Mum was proud?

I wish... I wish I was ready to tackle the Sydney to Woolongong 90km bike ride in November!

Granted! You are ready but then you fail miserably

I wish.... I'm not sure what to wish of.... oh...
I wish that my IQ was higher than 170

Granted! However, you are so smart that aliens abduct you, hearing of your intellegence, and make you their leader, but you know nothing about leading so they eat you, pull your brain out, and give it to another alien, who commits suicide.

I wish I...uh...I wish I could cause explosions with a thought.

I wish I...uh...I wish I could cause explosions with a thought.

Granted! You now with just a single thought, cause explosions. One problem, if you think of a single item or person, that’s exactly what explodes. It’s hard to control thoughts afterall and soon enough, every lone item or being you think of blows up into a fury of flames. Luckily for you, it’s just fire for the time being, and the people you think of usually survive.

Though, soon enough you are watching a Presidential debate, and you start thinking about what Barack is saying. With that thought, he catches fire on the television. Somehow, they find out it was you. You have to flee the country as they come after you with guns in their hands. You end up in Austria, where you live in piece. You learn to use your ability to it’s best, helping you hunt for your own food, and even making popcorn.

Though, soon enough… it doesn’t work that way anymore. Your power intensifies with every use and soon enough every explosion is like a nuclear bomb. You work hard to think of many things, so that not just one thing pops in your mind. You have to keep yourself busy and sleeping is always the hardest. Soon enough, you are a wreck.

One day, you decide this has to end. You are a danger to everyone and living life like this is impossible. You take a flight to the biggest desert in the world, and you drive until you run out of gas in almost the very middle. You lay down amongst the hot, blowing wind and you look up into the clear desert sky. The sun seems to scream at you, with its intense heat as you close your eyes for the last time.

You think one last word. You think your own name. You don’t get a chance to feel the immense explosion that you cause as your body is incinerated. You don’t get to see the aftereffect of the sand turning to stone from such immense heat… but you are remembered after your death… just like many great artists. ;)

I wish I had a cool super power.

Granted, but the super power was to attract all bees and threaten them to sting you.

I wish I could afford to buy some more clothes. Hahaha. :)

Granted, you have lots of money to buy more clothes and it never runs out. However you become addicted to buying clothes, you spend all your time buying clothes, but you can't bring yourself to get rid of clothes either. Slowly your house fills up with clothes making it impossible to leave, so you turn to the internet to buy clothes online. However the door to the office is soon blocked by clothes forcing you to be shut inside the office with no way out. Since you cannot get out of the room you cannot reach your bills to pay them so everything you have to pay for is shut down including your interent and power. Soon your computer dies leaving you with no way to buy clothes, you live out the very short remainder of your life shut up with your computer and mourning the fact that you cannot buy clothes.

oh and my wish is that i will date the guy i like (yes i know, a very unimaginative teenage girl wish...usaully i come up with much better things! but im very tired right now...:))

Granted! He comes to your door right now, but you aren’t dressed for the occasion. You run around, asking your mother to let him in. You quickly run to the bathroom, hopping around as you put your legs through the pant holes. You trip, falling into the sink. Your head hits painfully and you fall to the ground unconscious.

When you wake up, you are in the hospital. The boy you like is sitting next to you with a bandage around his head. He gives you a frown, and walks off after placing the flowers on your chest. You looked at him quizzically, the pain in your head throbbing nonstop.

Your mother walks in with a look of distaste on her face.

“What happened?” You ask, frantic.

“He ran in after he heard you fell… and he tried to step over your half-done pants! And he tripped and broke his jaw… but you got your date!”

You get well after a few months, but the pain of losing that date so easily never goes right for you. You go through school, never accepting dates. By the time you reach college, life is a blur. You get your degree, but your grades are nothing special.

You finally leave the state, the embarrassment of that day never leaving your mind. You move to Austria, and you move to the countyside. While there you become a school teacher. You are there for years, until you hit 50, and you realize this is the end of your days. Nothing will change. It’s a new school year, and you trudge on. You get in, and see the most adorable kid. He has bright blue eyes just like the man you once liked. He gives you an apple, and writes his name on the sheet of paper. You gasp, it’s the same last name as… him.

You call for a parenting meeting and your worse fears are realized. He has married another woman, and has many children. You’ve more then lost your chance. You run from the meeting, brushing past him. You flee until you reach the bridge. It’s a 40 foot drop into the swift current below. You pull yourself over the rail and hold on. You let go, just as his face yells down.

“Wait! I love you!” he yells. You cry frantically, wishing you had something to grab on to, but it’s too late. 30 feet.

“I love you too!” you scream. 20 feet.

He crawls over the side as a rope comes down.

10 feet.

You grab for it, but your fingertips just can’t grasp it. 5 feet.

You blow him a kiss just as you hit the water, the gravity making the water like cement, your back breaks sending you into a remotely painful death as the water fills your lungs and sends you down the river.

I wish Frank Sinatra wasn’t dead.

Granted. Unfortunately, he raises an army of the undead, and takes over the world. And refuses to sing ever again.



I wish I had a flamethrower.

Granted, you get your flamethrower, but you are no longer… yourself. Your body starts to change, you grow a few inches taller, your skin turn to a teal blue. Your hair falls out and soon on your head grows tentacles. You are no, a twi’lekian, a species in Star wars. Not only that, but you are a son to one of the most famous bounty huntresses of your time.

You walk from your room, with your heavy flamethrower carried on your back. Your mother looks at you, she is much like you, but aged and her skin is fire red. She grabs throws you some cold grenades to attach to your belt, and your blaster. You attach them to your belt, and know it’s time to act. You are the first to leave the grounded ship. You toss a shawl around your head, as you pull your blade out. It’s a bright blue lightsaber, one of the many you had helped your mother get as you slaughtered the jedi. Afterall, you are a Jedi Killer.

The sand blows past your face, as a storm erupts. You can hear nothing but the screams of the wind. You continue onward, only going in the general direction. You can’t see it until you’re right on it. Which you know will be the death of you. Your mother’s voice is taken by the wind as she tries to yell something at you, but it’s too late. The blade comes down with a quickness a mere mortal cannot know. You dodge to the side, but your hand pays the price. You don’t get a chance to scream as your hand falls onto the sandy ground.

You move quickly counter attacking with great strength. But the Jedi is too quick, and you have to defend as he comes at you with quick attacks. You are backed up and on the ground. You yell in frustration and lunge yourself at him. He is taken by surprise as you both fall to the ground, wrestling each other on the ground. Suddenly, you are pushed away with the flick of his wrist. You hit the ship meters behind you with a painful blow. You grab for the nozzle of your flamethrower, and quickly turn it on. The blaze has trouble keeping a path, but it reaches the Jedi pretty quickly. You can hear his screams as he tries to put himself out. You are quick as you turn it off, dropping the nozzle at your side. You run forward, grabbing a cold grenade. You quickly pull the line, and toss it at the Jedi. You drop down as the quick explosion of the freezing liquid comes out, almost silenced by the sound of the wind.

You get up, and walk over to him. He is now a frozen mass of Jedi and sand. You smile and walk forward. There is much work to do. After all. You are a bounty hunter.

I wish I was Twi’lekian.

Are you having a Star Wars-deprived moment there Bick? :p

Hm, granted. However, you are a slave to one of the Hutts, and there is no escape!

I wish I could take a nap.

Granted you lie down for a nap, and sleep overtakes you. You ‘wake’ up in your bed, but it’s not your bed anymore. It’s a large king-sized bed, and the sheets are a fine silk. You rub against them, the material feeling great on your cheek. You slowly get up, and look at your side in shock. It’s a much older Devonface, and he is snoring away shirtless. Your eyes go wide as you jump from the bed, and run towards the bathroom that connects to your room. You look in the mirror, and you realize you are much older yourself. You look like you must be in your 40’s. You quickly get dressed, blushing madly. You look at the picture next to your bed. Devonface has you in his arms, and your both smiling brightly.

Your hand goes to your ring finger, and you touch the ring of your finger in awe. You’re married. You almost skip with glee, as you run over to him. You jump on the bed, and slide over to his side, your hand on his chest. You look down as he wakes up with a smile on his face.

“Morning beautiful.” He says as he gives you a gentle kiss. You can’t help but giggle as he turns around, putting his arms around you.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, worried.

You look at him with watery, happy eyes.

“I don’t know… I couldn’t be any happier.” You coo. He lifts you up in his arms, and you laugh and hold onto his neck tightly. He brings you down the steps, sitting you on the edge of the kitchen counter. He jokes, while juggling the breakfast food, dropping quite a bit. You both laugh and giggle as he makes you breakfast. You both eat pretty quickly, and he goes upstairs to get dressed for work. He’s a doctor now, or so he says. Your home is magnificent, you find. It’s larger then anything you’ve been in, and even has it’s own indoor pool. You end up finding a day planner, it has your name on it. You quickly open it and look around. You have a book signing, you scream in excitement as you find a copy of your book to the side.

It’s a best seller, or so it says. Millions of copies sold. You scream in excitement and you look back at the day planner. You read at the bottom, 7pm.

“Pick Jamie and Mark from Summer school.” You turn the page, and out falls a small picture of you, Devonface and two young children. Your heart gives a skip… you’re a mother.

You suddenly wake up, your heart pounding. Was that real? You look up as a ray of Mabick shines on you, you hear the chanting of Bick.

“We see the future.” Her voice leaves just as your parents walk in.

“Why were you napping? Did you sleep last night? What were you doing?” They ask suspicious.

You can’t help but smile as you lift yourself from your bed with your teddy in your arms, “Oh you know. Marriage, crazy orgies.”

They look at you with open mouths as you go wash up for dinner.

I wish Mabick was real.

(I'm not posting anything, I just want to laugh at Bick granting wishes because they're the funniest granted wishes I'll ever read :D)

Granted. Brink of Dawn laughs every time Bick grants a wish,even when he is not on line, and he doesn't know why he is laughing. His parents are planning to take him to therapy on Monday.

I wish every day was Saturday but that I still got paid for working Monday - Friday.

Granted.

In fact, you now get paid to work Saturday - Saturday. Der. Seven days pay, with the lifestyle of a Saturday.

You don't know what to do with yourself. You can only watch so many Saturday morning cartoons, and Saturday afternoon sport, before insanity threatens.

I wish I had something witty to finish this story with. I thought about crapping on about kids not going to school because there was never a weekday, but... It's too late in the day for wit.

Granted... This is hard...

You finish the story, with a beautiful ending and an expansive diction, but just as you toast your celebration with your friends by drinking an alcoholic substance, your friend drops their cigarette on the floor, destroying your carpet, your table, your manuscript... and the rest of your house. And you manage to bump your head on the way out the backyard door, leaving you a confused writer, who does not remember your own identity.

I wish I had a pet monkey. :D

wooh, I like this one :)

granted, your monkey is not only a monkey, but a battle-ready monkey who wears armor and everything so when you come home from work after an exhausting day, there he is, waiting to kick your ass and make you feel better about yourself because there are obviously worse things in life than a hard day at work.

Soon your monkey dream starts to turn into a nightmare as the monkey's plan changes from kicking your ass to throwing monkey poo at you after realizing he doesn't have to take s**t from no one. He kicks you out of your house and you are now forced to live on the streets.

When someone walks by you and asks what happened your reply is "My monkey kicked my ass, threw poo at me, and booted me out of my house".

They merely laughed and walk on by and you curle into a ball and sob your life away.

I wish I could find my glasses

You find them but the left lens is smashed to smithereens.

I wish to feel no fear.

Granted, but because you have no fear you have no sense of caution leading you to do many daring and stupid things. One day you decided to go to the Cliffs of Moore (in Ireland for anyone who doesn't know :)) you decided that the view from behind the signs is not good enough, because you feel no fear you are not scared of fallng over the edge, you walk right up to the edge. As you stand there the wind begins to get stronger, but you don't feel fear so that does not scare you. It picks up speed until you are just barely able to stand on the edge without falling, but you still don't back down because you are not scared of anything happening. Finally a particularly strong gust of wind knocks you over the side of the cliff. You position yourself as if you would for a dive prefectly sure that you will be alright, not at all scared of how strong the impact of the water will be. However you hit the water extremely hard, and you find yourself very disoriented. You cannot figure out wich way to swim to get to the top since the water is dark and cold, and your dive made you go very deep. Eventually you end up blacking out from lack of oxygen. Miraculously you are rescued but you went to long without oxygen wich left you mentally impaired and forced to live in a hospital for the rest of your life.

I wish to write a bestselling novel

Granted - you ar top of the bestsellers lists for months upon months. But your accountant runs off with your partner leaving you penniless, and when the rumours they spread about you become public - no-one wants your book anymore, and in fact you got a letter thsi morning, your publishers want their advance they give you for your second book back. Guess where that is - yes on a ski-slope near Geneva living the highlife while you struggle to make ends meet.

I wish that man was able to colonise other planets, starting with Mars!

Granted. He does that and all the planets go crazy.

I wish... I wish Mozilla Firefox would start working

GRanted it starts working but only it you type everything in in pig latin.


I wish I was already moved.

Granted! All your stuff is moved into the new home. Not only that, but all the boxes are unpacked, and the entire house is decorated. Your family is a bit confused as they go to their rooms, seeing everything as they would have put it. The rooms are even painted with the colors you had chosen. The curtains, which you had yet to buy, were over your windows.

You take no notice, and you get cozy really quickly. Life is good, you actually don’t leave for a few days. Though, when you finally do, you go out your front door, and you realize. You’re not in New York anymore. You walk the streets, leaving your home behind, looking for clues. Every sign is in German, and no one seems to speak English. You finally stumble into a pub, a known place to go if you’re ever lost without the knowledge of another language.

It is explained to you, that you are in the Austrian countryside, and you are a teacher there. You look at him in shock, not sure what to do next.

You’re a smart man though, you can’t move back without it costing you an arm and a leg, so you deal with it. You call your family and tell them what happened. Though they aren’t happy, they call their phone service, getting a great deal on long distance calling. During the rest of your summer months, you learn German pretty quickly.

Once you’re thrown into your new teaching job, everything goes smoothly. You actually like it there. The weather is great, the people are kind and your son will grow up with fresh air. You lean back as your kids take their test, and you realize. Life in Austria isn’t going to be that bad afterall.

I wish I lived in Austria.

Granted ... but it is 2300 years in the future. As you don't have proper ID, you are immediately arrested by the police. They interrogate you and discover you are from the past. You spend the rest of your life being studied and displayed like an animal in the zoo.

I wish I has a new pillow.

Granted, but the first night you try to sleep on it, one of the feathers inside burrows through the case into your brain and from then on you wake at the crack of dawn crowing - "Cock-a-Doodle Doo!"

I wish Captain Jack Sparrow would rescue me for real instead of only in my dreams.

Granted. Jack Sparrow goes and rescues you but when you return, everything has changed and your life is horrible

I wish... I wish that the books I want to come out come out

Granted, all the books you want to come out come out. This however includes all future boks you want to come out, pretty soon you've read them all and you end up being bored out of your mind for the rest of your life because there are no interesting new books out that you haven't read.
I wish I could meet David Cook and the guys in Fall Out Boy

Granted! You see them but you see them in a funeral

I wish that my classmates won't be stupid any more

Granted, now they're all geniuses. In fact, you soon discover that not just they, but everyone is much smarter due to something in the air. Unfortunately, you are immune to it, and everyone looks down on you because, in comparison, you aren't very smart.

I wish I could controll time.

Granted, you have no idea how to control it and end up with the dinosuars.

I wish I had a fool-proof system of wishing so that nothing evil would happen.

I wish I had a fool-proof system of wishing so that nothing evil would happen.

Granted, but the system to so complex that you can not understand it and trying to figure it out drives you insane. You end up in a mental ward mumbling to yourself "It works, it works, I know it works" while beating your head against the rubber walls while getting injections twice a day.

I wish i had endless wealth and power.

Granted, it is within a massive vault that no one has the combination to.

I wish I could Have The Ability To Fly

I wish I could Have The Ability To Fly

Granted, but you have confused "could have" with "do have" and jump off the tallest bulding you can find - - - to your death.

The it takes three pieces of chalk to finish outlining the splatter you make in the asphalt.

I wish I was famous and loved by the masses.

By masses, you mean masses of zombies? You are eaten alive within the minute.

I wish I could be immortal.

Granted, but you are the only one and after an eternity goes by, the world finally destroys itself and you are left all alone forever and you become so lonely that you wish you could die.

I wish I could eat ice cream every day without ever gaining weight.

I wish I could eat ice cream every day without ever gaining weight.

Granted, But it tastes like cardboard, in fact, everything now tastes like cardboard for you.

I wish people would shut up and get along.

Granted, but since no one can speak to each other and everyone must get along, there are no debates, and nothing new is ever invented or discovered, and soon a virus spreads across the world killing everyone.

I wish I could win the lottery and live like a queen forever.

I wish I could win the lottery and live like a queen forever.

Granted, however you win the Lottery along with everyone else, total prize is 3 dollars and you get turned into a man to live out your life selling your body as a drag queen.

I wish I was as good a person as my dog thinks I am.

Everyone shuts up and you go insane because their is no one to talk to.

I Wish This Threa Would End :D

Everyone shuts up and you go insane because their is no one to talk to.

I Wish This Threa Would End :D

Denied: I have no idea how this relates to being as good a person as my dog thinks I am.

But I'll grant you this: a Poor starving women living in Africa is killed a food drop, her name was Threa.

She died because you did not put the "d" in. The guilt slowly kills you from the inside out.

I Wish my Dog had better manners.

Granted, your dog has excellent manners, in fact he has such a pleasing demeanor that he steals the love of all your friends and family. No one remembers your name, they just call you "the guy who knows the dog with the good etiquette and winning personality." Your new (and ridiculously long) title slowly drives you mad with jealousy. You attempt to kill your dog but your dog knows the ancient art of ka-ra-te, (what an awesome dog.) he swiftly and effortlessly dispatches you, calls the authorities, and presses charges. After the shortest trial ever, you are sentenced to life in prison. Your cell mate, (A huge ex-marine who the inmates lovingly refer to as "The Pumper") it turns out, is a big fan of your dog and fulfills his promise to "make the rest of your days a living hell."

i wish i was the stealthiest, most awesome ninja in all of ninjadom.

Granted, Ninjadom is actually a bar where everyone goes when they're drunk, so to be the stealthiest you have to be sober and normal, which you already are ( i Hope ;) )

I wish this Thread would end!

Granted, this thread ends and then you have nothing to do so another one pops up exactly like it.

Oh wait, here it is.

I wish I didn't have to go back to work today.

Wish granted. Your stomach begins to flip-flop as the head of HR approaches you, flanked by two security guards.

I wish I hadn't tipped them off ;)

Granted! You didn't go to work and something good happens at work such as a party, etc.
You miss it and when you go back to work, no one is working because they were told they could have a day off. You go back and fill up your tank which cost you about 50 dollars and then you collide with another car and get a concussion.

I wish that the economy wouldn't fall

Ok I am still laughing at what Flux said... that was just mean....

I wish that the economy wouldn't fall

Granted, but you still loose your job, income and all the money you ever has, so while the economy is doing great you reduced to begging on the street corner for food scraps and spare change. Since the Economy is stable people have spare pocket change and you can afford to buy 7-11 hot dogs for lunch each day as your one and only meal.


I wish life had meaning.

Granted, it is to become a serial killer.

I wish I had another fool-proof plan to wish things so they would not get corrupted.

Granted, it is to become a serial killer.

I wish I had another fool-proof plan to wish things so they would not get corrupted.

Granted - it will just take longer then your life span to implement it. You die in a tragic accident trying to rush the process and destroy the plan for all future generations.

I wish the walls could talk.

Granted, and they drive you insane because they won't shut up.

I Wish I Could Eat And Not Gain A Lot Of Weight

Granted, you take a trip to mexico city and eat a burrito you find in the gutter resulting in a horribly painful tapeworm infestation! you can feel them moving and writhing in your digestive tract, poking with their sharp ugly teeth, laying eggs in your insides. The pills they give you don't work, they tell you you have some new, futuristic, mutant, super-villian tapeworm and there is no cure. but on the brightside now you can eat all you want!!!

i wish my chihuahua was more like the dog/wolf hybrid from Jack London's "White Fang"

Granted, but you fall down a set of stairs and are unable to move. Only your dog/wolf is home, and after two days without food it starts eating on you.

I wish I was the best writer in the world.

Granted; however, as mainstream literature no longer appreciates real talent, you are condemned to waste away while critics and your audience completely ignore your brilliance. Frustrated, you resort to mugging girl scouts and selling their cookies in a pitiful attempt to survive, all the while watching with burning resentment while cheesy, teenage-angst novels with no plot or characters rise to success and critical acclaim.

(Seriously though, modern literature isn’t quite that bad...yet.)

I wish I knew the answer to the eternal question:

“Why is a duck?”

and that knowledge of the aforementioned answer does not drive me insane.

After years of meditation, you finally see the answer clearly. You realise that you have to change your entire mode of thinking to understand the question properly, and it makes you look at the world in a whole new way. You reach a state of wisdom and clear-sightedness you never even dreamt of.

Unfortunately, the people around you, who now appear like crazed, confused ferrets to you, are unable to grasp anything you say. Even everyday observations you make with your new-found way of looking at things, confuse people and make them shy away. Nobody wants to hire you because they are too uncertain about anyone they can't understand. You end up as a lonely beggar.

and since Islandr made no wish he turned into "nothing" and this ceases to exist.

I wish that I was a famous porn star

granted, but you're and ugly one and nobody wants you.

I wish I lived in video games for the rest of my life

That was the best you had WWTW ? I mean there was so much to work with... :: Sigh ::

I wish I lived in video games for the rest of my life

Granted but the game is Zuma -and you're the frog.

I wish... I wish... I could sing and Dance.

Granted, but you're terrible at both of them.

I Wish I Had Magic Powers

Granted! You have magic powers and people think you are a wizard. They but you in a fireplace and burn you.

I wish that my brother would be more fair

Granted-Your brother becomes ridiculously fair. He makes everyone take turns for everything you do. Then he realizes that it isn't fair that other people have less than you so he starts giving away your family's stuff in order to make life more fair. You soon end up with nothing and driven insane by how fair your brother was.
i wish that i could have backstage passses to a David Coook concert

Granted, they are fake ones.

I Wish I was The Smartest Man Ever.

Granted, but you also get aids.

I wish people would put more effort into their wish responses.