Granted. You write inoffensive, cute, incredibly boring wish-grants.

I wish I had a more interesting job.

Granted, you clean the sewers and find all sorts of 'interesting' things. :D

I wish there was Virtual Reality and I could experience it with my friends.

I wish there was Virtual Reality and I could experience it with my friends.

Granted - But like any internet based application is gets used almost exclusively for porn. Your friends all decided to go super butch and you end up being the twink in countless Virtual reality Live Sex shows.

I wish there were no time zone differences (Tribute to Bick)

I wish there were no time zone differences (Tribute to Bick)

ROFL. Wow.... I haven't had that much fun in ages. ;) Thanks.

Granted. You wake up, your eyes blinking as you realize the sun is pretty high in the sky as it shines through your window. Your eyes are crusted with conjugated teardrops mixed with dust that during your good 10 hours of sleep, became what we call, eye-boogers. You swipe them from your eyes, and turn over with great force. Your eyes go to sleek, black box that is your alarm clock. Its blinking their boxed digital, red letters.

12:00

It blinks, glaring at you as you panic to get some pants on. You swiftly change, and run down the steps… you’re going to be late for work. You look at your coffee maker, the timer you have set blinks that ominous 12:00. Your small grinded coffee beans sit, dry and unheated. Your coffee cup is bare. You yell in frustration as you run towards the door, your coffee mug still in hand. You grab your watch from the organizer that sits at your door. Your mouth drops open, and your cup falls to the ground. Both hands on your watch are directly on the 12, and your second hand is swirling around like a maniac. You open your door, and your eyes go wide. Everyone is standing outside, two cars are crashed in front of you.

“One two zero zero.” You hear someone mutter. You turn to your side, and you see your neighbor. He’s got many clocks in his hand, they are blink madly at you. The cog watches in his hands all on the twelve. He mutters the same phrase to himself, as he walks across your lawn, dragging the cords behind you. Your heart gives a skip.

They aren’t even plugged in.

Your stumble through the streets. Silence reigns what once was a busy town of Virginia. The people all stare at you blankly, as they listen to the static on their radio. Your breathes are heavy as you reach the nearest diner, your hands go directly for the newspapers in the stack. You almost cry out as you read the bold letters on the title.

“WORLD WAR III: War of Time.”

You go on to read, that all countries are at war. War to pick which general time all should have. It’s all about who’s more powerful now. So far, the list is long. Many small countries have been blown off the map. You cry out, as you read.

“Japan sunk into the ocean, as Russian missiles met after an attack on their frosty soils.”

You go down the list. Millions of people had died, and you knew many more would. All over the choice of what time it should be everywhere. You fell down onto the ground, the tears falling. You knew the violence wouldn’t stop until the most powerful had taken out everyone else. Death would reign, and power… would end in the one with the most nuclear missiles.

Your eyes went to the large clock that rose over the bank. It’s large, block numbers blinked at you.

12:00

You held on tightly to your knees, and your back hugged the door of the diner. You closed your eyes, and rocked back and forth. This just couldn’t be happening, there had to be time differences. Without them, decisions had to be made. Man just can’t tolerate a proper decision without arguments. When arguments of this magnitude happened, it all ended in war. War always ended in death, specially with the nuclear power. Nuclear power… meant the end of it all. No responsibility when the world has gone to hell. That’s exactly what was going to happen. The tears fell quickly. You had doomed the world to a radiated, mutated ending, and you could feel it coming.

In fact…

The tears and screams of the people around you were sudden. Your eyes jolted open. Fingers pointed, and mouths opened in desperate cries and gasps. You looked up, knowing exactly what you would find. Your entire body shook, the tears no longer feeling necessary. You could see the missiles. They were coming in all directions. You looked at the little girl to your side, as she cried for her father. Your arms went to her shoulders, as she looked up at you with her bright blue eyes. You can see the reflexion of the bank clock. It's numbers seeming larger, as they loom over the darkness.

12:00

“Mister, have you seen my father?” she asks. You bring her into a hug, as she cries into your shoulder.

“You’ll see him soon.” You mutter, not letting the tears fall, as you put your body over hers, as if it would help lessen the pain you knew was coming.

The noise from the rocket was silenced by the sheer shock. It was as if you had suddenly lost your hearing. As if... you were no longer even there. It was almost an out of body experience as the missiles came just hundreds of meters from the city. Your body seemed to shoot up into the air, as you looked down from the clouds. Hundreds of thousands of people filled the streets. Missiles were headed to every big city, and then some. Etched on the side of each one was a foreign language you couldn't place. You got closer, almost able to touch the hot metal. Your heart gave a skip, as you were thrown back into reality.

You turned around, looking back up. The missiles would be there any moment. The girl hugged your leg. You sat down at her side, shielding her face from the view of the oncoming missiles. You began to hum, trying to calm her. Your hands shook as your rubbed her back gently. She smiled at you, her eyes closing as she said a silent prayer, her hands were shaking. You gave one last breath as you held on tightly to her....






















True Silence.




I wish I really did have leverage on Old Saint Nick.

Granted, but now he sees you as a threat. So he sends out his elf assassins to deal with with you. :cool:

I wish I had x-ray vision.

Granted. X-rays cause cancer, so everyone you're close to dies within two years. After that, you don't dare to spend more than one day with any person, and wander around the country in loneliness.

I wish I found a talking animal.

Granted, but its a talking bear that says "You look tasty."

I wish I was rich.

Greanted, you've been given 9 billion, billion dollars and now are being hunted down by robin-hood styled thieves. After a week they capture your loot and give it to the poor, me included. ;)

I Wish I Was Born 500 Years Later ( so I could see the future, though it would be the present to me. ;) )

Ooo Bick that was a good one!

I Wish I Was Born 500 Years Later ( so I could see the future, though it would be the present to me. ;) )

Granted - But in 500 years you discover that humans have killed each other and this you are the last, very lonely, human on the planet.

I wish I could attract women with out needing to do anything.

Granted, but you can only attract ugly and greedy women.

I wish I didn't have to make a wish.

Granted! You don't have to make a wish anymore and all of your wishes that you wished before don't come true and then when you want to wish, you can't and your life turns horrible

I wish that I didn't have to do all the homework I am told to do

Granted, but now you must do all of the homework in the world that you are not told to do.

I wish I could turn invisible at will.

Granted. But Will is easily spooked, and heavily armed. He starts shooting randomly, and you bleed invisible blood from invisible wounds. You die unseen as Will is carted off to jail for discharging a firearm within city limits.

I wish for a beautiful and safe drive home from work.

I wish for a beautiful and safe drive home from work.

Granted - Your trip is safe, because you left early, and it is lovely because you are not stressed about the other drivers, but somehow it does not help the fact that you got fired and sodomized by your boss on the same day.

I Wish I was a Dragon.

Granted you are now a dragon, however shortly after bcomeing a dragon you die of a very painul disease that only dragons can contract.
I wish i didn't have to join the High School swim team

granted. you are now a bearded dragon
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/51/Bearded_Dragon_at_Indianapolis_Zoo.JPG/300px-Bearded_Dragon_at_Indianapolis_Zoo.JPG
in some sadistic kid's terrarium. he slowly lets you starve near to death, before he finally gets tired of you and feeds you to his equally neglected pet python.

i wish i was in better physical shape

I wish i didn't have to join the High School swim team

Granted - You don't "have" to join because no one if forcing you to join, as a matter of fact no one even cares about you anymore. You feel invisible as the teachers in your school do not even bother to check to see if you showed up or not and the swim coach does not act like you exist anymore.

You start to eat to stay away the depression and become obese. No one seems to care that you are fat either and finally you hang yourself from the school flag pole,. It takes the principal three weeks to notice your dead body and they send you away to be cremated in along with a bunch of dogs killed by the local pound.

i wish i was in better physical shape

Grated - You're in amazing physical shape now and you feel motivated to engage in many outdoor activities. While on a 26 mile run you get jumped and gang raped.

After the ordeal and the men who raped you get away with it you discover you now pregnant and have aids.

I wish the whole world could have a coke and a smile

granted, until half the world realizes it's Diet Coke and go insane from the watery flavor and stop smiling.

I wish I had a white castle burger right now.

Granted, though it's not cooked.

I wish I was an elf, tolien-style, who could speak english and was good with the ladies.

Granted, you are now an elf. Unfortunately, your flowing, long hair and rather feminine features have led all the ladies to think you're gay.

I wish I had a double who would fill in for me when need be.

Granted, but he kills you because he thinks you're obsolete.

I wish every girl I have a crush on was madly in love with me, and we were conviently placed upon a plane that crashed and stranded us alone on an island. ;) *beat that!*

I wish I had a double who would fill in for me when need be.

Granted - But your double does a better job at being you then you do at being you and does away with you.

I wish I was an Oscar Myer weenier.

I wish every girl I have a crush on was madly in love with me, and we were conviently placed upon a plane that crashed and stranded us alone on an island. ;) *beat that!*

Granted - but then they start fighting over you because they can't agree who deserves you. To settle their dispute they hack you apart using sharp and dull rocks until each one of them then can claim a piece of you for their own.

Same wish as above.

P.S. I might not be able to top it, but I can make it suck.

Granted, and now you are in the belly of some nerd who lives with his mother.

I wish Ungood didn't twist my wish, and in turn the ladies had an ultimate duel and only one survived, so we lived happily ever after on a stranded island in love. Muhahahaha!

Granted, except neither you or your lovely lady know how to hunt or fish or make fire, and after starving for a few weeks, you start hunting each other, she being the stronger sex of course kills and eats you raw all the while professing her love for you..."See honey, now we'll be together forever.... or at least the next 24 hours." Muhahahaha!

I wish WhoWatchesTheWatchmen would tell me who watches the watchmen.

granted
the personwhowatches the watchman told u who watches the watchmen but no one was supposed to no who watches the watchman so the watcher kills both of u and throws u in the lake thts infested with hungry crocadiles.

i wish the guy i like likes me back

Granted, he likes your back but doesn't care much for your front and you are constantly tripping and falling over as you always try to walk backwards whenever he is near.

I wish Johnny Depp would come to his senses and realize he is in love with me!

Granted, but he's dressed like Jack Sparrow and acts like that so now he's a drunk who dosen't care for you. ;)

I Wish I Made Millions

I Wish I Made Millions

Granted! With the shake of my Mabick wand, you feel no change. As I disappear, you look around frantically for what you’re expecting. You search your entire house, not a single penny. Nothing. You curse me as you go to bed that night.

Your sleep is horrible, as you twist and turn. Dreams come and go, all rather odd. Many of them consist of something eating you alive. Others, of something crawling under your skin. You don’t sleep well.

Finally, your eyes shoot open as you start to get cold. Your entire body goes into a panicked shake as you look around your room. Everything is gone, including your clothes. There are bites all over your arms, and even the bed itself is nothing but some scattered cotton. You look around yourself, the floor appears to be moving. You go closer and you let out a scream and you shiver.

The floor is alive, full of termites. They march towards you, surrounding what use to be your house. Everything is gone, all material. They have left you naked, homeless and bitten up as they finish off what’s left of your home. You start to walk away, but they suddenly finish their meal.

You start to run off, when suddenly they start to run up your legs. You scream as their tiny teeth tear into your skin. Many more march up as you try to flee, rolling on the ground. They just keep coming. After all, you did make a million.

They’re content as they eat you alive. After all, dessert always comes after the main course.

I wish I could have met Frank Sinatra before he died.

Granted, you will meet a two month old Frank Sinatra.

I wish my username was Maid instead of Butler.

Granted, except a Moderator changed it back. ;)

I wish Superman in a parallel universe where kryptonite did not exsist and I was supremely immortal.

I wish Superman in a parallel universe where kryptonite did not exsist and I was supremely immortal.

Granted! You are in a parallel universe, everything is basically the same, but the colors are twisted around, and of course there is no Kryptonite. You live, saving the world (I’m assuming you wanted to be like Superman ;) You didn’t really make your question very clear.) one leap and flight at a time. Life is good, the people love you and you’re a super star.

You live like this, just saving lives and living in luxury for years. Time flies by so quickly, that soon enough a century goes by. You start to get lonely in the fame, and you’re frankly tired of it. You start to search for the perfect woman. Though, they never seem to be right. You search for years, until finally. You meet her. She’s 6 foot with gorgeous long legs and a personality that anyone could love. You fall madly in love.

Life is good for the longest time, as you end up marrying her. You carry on, as she ages and you don’t. She gets old, but you never stop loving her. Then comes the day that her heart finally gives out. You are left alone once more, but this time you are left with a broken heart.

You drink the rest of your days, and you actually become a villain. Within time, you get together, massing with all other villains. Together you make the ultimate plan. By the end of the year, you and your new friends had taken over most of the world.

Within a century, most of the world was no more. After much war and havoc most of the people died. After a few more centuries, all humans are wiped out, and soon the domestic animals follow. Within half a century, no living creature is left. You are alone on an empty planet, no one, and nothing to solace your aching heart. You are left for eternity in a self-made hell.

I wish I everyone would work as hard as I do on their grants.

I wish I everyone would work as hard as I do on their grants.

Granted - But now everyone takes such time and effort into grsatning wishes that everyone becomes scared to auctally wish for anything because the evilness of the grants.

The wish granters get obessed with the need to carry out their evil wishes and then start to go back though the list of wishes and impose upon the posters the reality of their wish.

While you are kneeling in a circle with a bunch other girls that have viciously hacked Whowatches into small pieces with dull stones amid his screams and protests that he does not have crushes on any of you, you realize this is wrong and try to talk sense into them.

They look at you with hunger burning in their eyes and begin to drool "There is no food on this island" one of them says and the grim reality of your doom sets in.

I wish I was a well paid famous porn star.

Granted you are a world reknowned gay bestiality porn star. one day during filming you accidently choke to death on your gay horse co-star's manhood.

(gross)

i wish i had more time to write.

Granted you now have all the time in the world to write. At first you are overjoyed you don't have to ever do anything except write. You don't hvae to worry about money or food becuse it is all brought to you. Wioht your time you write bestseller after bestseller. However by your 10th bestseller you start to get bored with writing all the time without doing anything else. Your books start to become weird and twisted becuase you are trying to relieve your bordem. your 11th book gets trashed by the critics and only depressed goth type people will buy it. Your 12th books is even more twisted and only freaky-morbid-goth-satan-worshipers will buy it. your 13th book doesn't even sell (not even the freaky-morbid-goth-satan-worshipers will buy it) and the authorities lokc up up in a n insane asylum becuase they believe you to be unstable.
I wish that i would get a reply to the letter i sent (chalolo is#1 knows what i'm talking about :))

I wish that i would get a reply to the letter i sent (chalolo is#1 knows what i'm talking about :))

Granted - but it is everything you did not want to hear.

I wish my wife was a millionaire.

Granted your wife is now a millionaire. however being a millionarie corupts her and makes her stuck up and snobby. She decides that you aren't good enbough for her and leaves you.
I wish that the reply to the letter i sent will come in the next two weeks and it will contain everything i asked for along with a very nice note replying to my original letter. (by the way if that doens't make sense i'll try to make it more clear...i was just trying to cover all the loopholes :))

Granted. But she produces an ironclad pre-nup you swear you've never seen, just before she takes of with the neighbor's pool boy, leaving you alone, bitter, and penniless.

I wish I had chosen my lunch selection more carefully.

Granted, you choose your lunch selection so carfully that you waste away from hunger before you are done making your selction.
I wish that the reply to the letter i sent will come in the next two weeks and it will contain everything i asked for along with a very nice note replying to my original letter. (by the way if that doens't make sense i'll try to make it more clear...i was just trying to cover all the loopholes )

I wish yellowm&M would have wished in the post above, so I could've twisted it...

I wish that the reply to the letter i sent will come in the next two weeks and it will contain everything i asked for along with a very nice note replying to my original letter. (by the way if that doens't make sense i'll try to make it more clear...i was just trying to cover all the loopholes )

Granted - you get everything and MORE - like why their reply to your original letter was "Please feel free to die in infected rat vomit while being suffocated by maggots" They also send you some rat poison to kill yourself with as a kind remind of their feelings towards you.

You also receive a three foot steel rod to impale yourself on in case the rat poison does not work, or takes too long as a good will gesture.

I wish that I was living large.

Granted! In the words of Ron White, you look like you have a squirrel in your pants ;) One problem, you get a bad case of ED and it's just there for show.

(My shortest grant yet, oh well ;))

I wish my bike would fix itself so I can go biking in the woods tomorrow.

Granted. The bike's fixed and you can ride all day long... But you have to take ET with you!

I wish I could turn old people into PlayStation 3's

I wish I could turn old people into PlayStation 3's

Granted - and within a week you are slapped with 1,278 harassment charges, from people who are making the claim you turned them into PS3 and played with against their will.

You try to turn the judge into a PS3 to beat the rap and the belief shoots you because your power is considered a deadly weapon.

Your last dying act is to turn yourself into a PS3 so you can be repaired. You do get repaired, by a game retail store that uses you as a demo model. After a year of having a bunch of kids with slimly hands playing with you, you become obsolete and are tossed on a trash heap to spend the rest of your existence forgotten and rotting away.

I wish I was able to start writing again.

Granted, though you get tired and fall asleep for eternity.

I Wish My Twist To Ungood's Wish made Sense

Granted, but now the world is a twisted place where 2 + 2 = potatoes, and nothing else subsequently makes sense. Way to go...

I wish I had psychic powers.

Granted. You now have the power to make your own head explode.

I wish Butler made a Wish

Granted! Butler makes a wish and the wish is that That Guy From That Place wouldn't make a wish so then either you or Butler can make a wish.

I wish that people would remember to wish

Granted, but they all wished that you were a PS3.

I wish 6 was 9.

Congrats! 6 is now 9. Mathematicians everywhere are in screaming chaos and jumping from ledges. The calendar explodes. There is worldwide panic now that there are two 9's on keyboards, cellphones, calculators, and microwaves. 6 is 9 and it is the end of the world.

Good goin'.


I wish I was lying in a hammock with a frosty glass of iced tea and nobody around to bother me.

Granted. and as you ponder this you notice you are ascending rapidly. Too late you realize you were trying to stand on a very high ceiling. A moment later your head impacts fatally with the bricks below.

I wish I had never made or even contemplated this wish.

Oops, I was too slow typing my response to:I wish 6 was 9.

Granted, but it remaiend unaswered and haunted your life.

I Wish I Was Strong

Granted, but you're so strong that endanger everyone and everything around you. Homeland Security finds you a threat, and after a Hulk-esque battle, you're left for dead in the bottom of a ditch.

I wish I had a wish that couldn't be twisted.

Granted. But you now live in depression because everyone on this thread won one-hundred million dollars from a contest for making wishes that could be twisted... You hurry back to the computer to make a new wish and claim your prize but no no-one is around to read it because their too busy being rich and self-publishing every piece of writing they own.

I wish the computer keyboard had an italics lock button.

Granted, but you are the only one who has this wonderful feature on your keyboard and now you only have to hit one key instead of two simultaneously (control + i) to make all your writing italics. You tell all your friends all about how you had this one wish and how creatively you used it and they just shake their heads and walk away snickering at you behind your back.

I wish I knew where "that place" was so I could go there once in awhile.

Granted, but while you arrive on a private jet, it breaks down, leaving you stranded and alone. You make it out of the crash but your belongings are all gone.

I wish for once my wishes would come true.

Granted! Your one wish comes true but then someone changed the wish in this evil wish game and something bad happens.

I wish that I would get a raise

Granted, but unfortunately your salary was cut multiple times before you received said raise, and now you're making less money than when you made your wish. Tant Pis...

I wish it was sunnier out.

granted, but it's hot as hell and your air conditioning broke and your phone's out so you can't call to fix it.

I wish I had a donut :D

You have a a donut but the donut is poisonous so you can't eat it

I wish that.... I wish there was a dark knight

Granted there is a dark knight, however everyone is scared of him and he ends up locked up where he isn't of any use.
I wish that i could go to Egypt next week.

You can go to Egypt next week! But...you can only go as a straw...

...which really sucks. (ba-dum-bump!)


I wish I had a dishwasher. Preferably a tall sexy dark haired model with big muscles.

Granted, but desptie his sexy-ness he is an ex confict and runs away.

I wish I had a self-cleaning room that cleaned itself and never rebelled agaisnt me or tried to kill me or injure me or anyone else in a certain way.

Ah, trying to thwart the evil wish, huh?

Granted, your room is so clean and neat that your whole family and every friend you've got decides they want to live in your room with you so that all their messes will automatically clean themselves up. They are sleeping with you and eating in your room and crawling all over you and wearing your clothes and playing your computer games and all your writing seems to come out in their voices since that is all you hear morning, noon, and night in your beautiful self cleaning room.

I wish the pizza delivery would get here.

Granted, the pizza gets delivered, however, there are green peppers on it, which you have just become fatally allergic to. You take a bite and die.
I wish that.....that....the reply to my letter will come and include everything i asked for along with a really nice letter. (sorry, this i like my third wish invovling my letter, but i really want a reply!!! lol)

I wish that.....that....the reply to my letter will come and include everything i asked for along with a really nice letter. (sorry, this i like my third wish invovling my letter, but i really want a reply!!! lol)

Granted - and you sing for joy until you realize that they were responding to someone else.

You crawl into a hole and die.

I wish I could sleep.

Uggh, did it again :p Excuse me.

I wish I could sleep.

Granted, you lay down in bed. Your eyes close and within seconds your mind is finally out of juice. You fall into a deep sleep.

You’re floating and struggling to stay above the waves as the storm growls. The sea water washes over your body, sending you in some general direction. Your ship is gone, eaten by the storm just minutes earlier. You’re not sure where you are, and you’re body is tiring. With a sudden lurch, a large wave sends you forward. You close your eyes, and take a deep breath just before your thrown under. Your body suddenly hits the sand and you roll over. You stumble forward, trying to free yourself from the water. You fall, your energy completely drained as you fall asleep.

You wake up, the sun having all ready dried your soaked body. Your turn around, the marks from your knees and hands can be seen from the night before. They trail off where the waves come up. You pull yourself up and head into the woods ahead of you. You know you need to find some fresh water, your mouth is parched and the sea water wasn’t going to help you.

You continue far into the woods, until you begin to notice some---- xDD

I’m honestly too out of it to finish this.

I was basically going for an island with edible flora and such that was much like every day cuisine. Milk pools, dumpling flowers and such. But the island is actually a living thing, yada, yada. You wake up with a bite out of your arm?

Though ;) That idea was borrowed by Moers. He’s amazing like that <3

I wish I wasn’t so out of it.

granted, but now you're very into it and therefore know every trouble of the world. :(

I wish I wouldn't eat all these chips!

Granted, but now you eat a lot of cookies.

I wish I could talk to stop signs.

granted, you can talk to them, but you can't stop them from talking to you. All they do is complain, and they're everywhere. Soon, you are checked into a mental asylum because you yell at stop signs.

I wish I had a dollar in my pocket.

Granted, but your pocket has a hole in it and the dollar falls out when when you need it the most... You eventually become homeless and end up wishing for a dollar in your pocket. Viscous cycle.

I wish cars were free.

granted, but driving becomes illegal.

I wish I had a watch.

Granted, but you just wasted a perfectly good wish because the time is on the bottom right of your computer screen.

I wish word games weren't so addicting.

I know that! But I'm not always on the computer and a watch would come in handy when I'm not. So you just wasted a perfectly good grant.

Granted, they are really boring now, but you've nothing to do.

I wish I was less busy.

Granted, but now you have absolutely nothing to do, and stare at the blank wall of your bedroom all day.

I wish I had a pet fox.

I wish I had a pet fox.

Granted - But the fox has rabies and bites you. Since you hate doctors you wait till it is too late and finally the disease destroys your entire body and life.

I wish I had some ice cream.

granted - but you eat too much too fast and get a permanent brain freeze!

i wish i could ace all my future exams

Granted, you ace them but nobody knows because your professors are so jealous that you're so smart and they're not that they change all your answers so you actually fail every time.

I wish I could get this one 'bleeping won't let me finish it' scene in my novel done!!!

I wish I could get this one 'bleeping won't let me finish it' scene in my novel done!!!

Granted! You get it done, but you can’t remember a thing as it starts to write out itself. You watch as every word is done by a demon computer. They words are magnificent and soon enough, the computer finishes your entire novel. You are so excited as you sit back down to edit and read, but your computer growls at you. You jump back, as it begins to edit your papers. Soon enough, it sends an email to a publisher, and within a few weeks, a rough draft is sent.

Within months, your book is on the shelves and sells like hotcakes. You stick a boot in the men you work with, and soon enough you’re making enough to live happily without a job, though, you are never allowed back on the computer. It growls everytime you get close, but oh well, at least you’re getting rich off some demon spell, right?

I wish my creativity was back.

Granted! You get your creativity back but your creativity is different than the creativity you had back then. Everyone stares at you everywhere knowing your creativity is weird so then you hate your creativity so then you wish your creativity would go away.

I wish that zebras wouldn't be so strong and able to take food from you (happened to me)

Granted, but now Zebras are pathetically weak and are taken advantage of by every animal imaginable. Soon, Zebras become an endangered species, and then they eventually die off completely.

I wish I was at the Olympics right now.

You'll be there, but, due to delays in traffic, you'll get there when everyone else has gone.

I wish I had longer hair.

granted, but now it's so long, you trip over it every time you try to walk. You've tried putting it up, but that didn't exactly work out, since it's also very thick. Finally, you decide to cut it, but it won't be cut! It only continues growing . . .


I wish I wasn't so hyper.

Granted, you are so un-hyper that you end up in a coma
I wish i could come up with an imaginative wish

Granted! You come up with an imaginative wish. Everyone turns your wish bad and you wish for your imaginative mind to go away but it doesn't so you can't wish anymore without fearing something bad might happen

I wish that I could come up with a wish

Granted, but it involves driving a dangerously spike across your face.

I wish I could eat anything I wanted and remained as healthy as an 25-gold medal winner olympic athlete.

Granted, but you eat too much and you become constipated.

I wish I could make a wish that isn't bound by the laws of the evil wish game.

Granted! You make a wish that isn't bound by the evil wish game but it is bound by the more evil wish game.

I wish that I had a ticket to the Olympic games when the Olympic games started

granted, but you couldn't get a plane ticket to go to China
I wish that i had more money

Granted! You only get one more cent then you used to have

I wish my mom wouldn't be so pissed at me

Granted your mom is more pissed at you.
i wish that i could meet David Cook in person

Granted! You meet David Cook in heaven

I wish that my mom won't be MORE pissed at me

Granted. Your mom isn't only somewhat pissed at you but that's pretty tough anyway.

I wish I had bet millions of dollars on Michael Phelps.

Granted, you bet that he would lose and now the loan sharks are after you.

I wish Johnny Depp would finally realize that I am his one and only true love.

I wish Johnny Depp would finally realize that I am his one and only true love.

Granted! Your honey moon is in Davey Jones' locker.


I wish I didn't have medicine head. :(

Granted! You didn't have a medicine head but your whole body is a medicine

I wish I can get rid of my sickness

Granted! You didn't have a medicine head but your whole body is a medicine

I wish I can get rid of my sickness

Granted, but it'll only gone for three seconds.

I wish I could get out of my dental appointment.

Granted! You get out of your dental appointment and all of your teeth are black

I wish that my sickness would go away forever

Granted it goes away forever only to be replaced by a worse sickness

I wish that I didn't have to join the swim team

Granted, but now you have to join the log-rolling team. They meet every day from 6:00 am to 5:00 pm.

I wish I could get some blasted sleep tonight . . .

Granted. It has now been made a compulsory requirement to volunteer for the swimming club.

I wish I could get my book off of the ground.

I don't see how that helps either of us, but, oh well . . .
Granted. Unfortunatley, when you pick it up, it slips out of your hand and into the air. It's flying around somewhere in London, and no one can seem to catch it . . .

I wish this water bottle had some water in it . . .

Granted, it has one tiny little drop and all your friends are circling you like buzzards waiting to take it from you.

I wish I didn't have to go back to work tonight.

Granted, you get fired.

I wish I wasn't so tired all the time . . .

Granted, you're not so tired anymore.

In fact, you're not tired at all. You feel like a million bucks actually and you could go on a couple of days without a need to sleep.

But as the days go by you begin to feel weaker and weaker. Your body is tired, but you're wide awake. You can manage to close even close your eyes anymore when you lay down.

Why stop there? Your insomnia grows to a point where you won't even close your eyes at all, not even to blink. With all that oxygen and crap going into your eyes they shrivel up like raisens and now you're blind.

But even without eyes to close you're still not tired. Your body doesn't function properly anymore, your head is spinning with the pain caused by your insomnia. One day you can't take it anymore and bash your head against the closest wall to you and make your way to a bathtub to drown yourself, being the only sleep you can manage to attain.

.........................


I wish someone would grant my wish with a truly epic story that concludes in a noble and comic fashion :D

Granted, but then your computer frazzles out on you once you get to the very last punctuation.

I wish I had a money tree in my yard.

Granted, but your neighbor sees it and becomes jealous. He knocks on your door with a chainsaw the next day. Unfortunately, he doesn't plan to use it on the tree.

Wow, that was little morbid...

I wish I had a sundae right now; I could really go for one.

Granted! You get a sundae but the sundae was so cold you get a 1 hour brain freeze if possible

I wish that there would be more trees in my yard

Granted! They all suddenly sprout all over your garden, and the roots destroy the foundations of your house so you have to move away from all your precious trees!

I wish the weather will be nice tomorrow!

Granted. Unfortunately today's weather is so severe that every form of life on the surface is destroyed before nightfall.

I wish every person would respect every other person.

Granted! Everyone respects everyone and since everybody respects everybody, people go around respecting criminals so then they become criminals too and then all the farmers become criminals so then no one is processing food and every body dies.

I wish life wouldn't be sad

Granted, life is incredibly cheerful. In fact, everyone in the world is happy. Everybody smiles all time, and some of them are so high on happy, they even have that creepy brainwashed voice. Don't you just love life now?

I wish I owned a Chinese Water Deer that I could name Potato.

Granted, but naming him as Potato give him apoplexy, cause to that time he thought of being an animal, but now he think of being eatable plant.

I wish I became great computer artist.

(I'm new, so sorry if my writing have problems, I will be better writer with this site help:D:D:D)

Granted, but after drawing a computer ten million times you go insane and every time you see a computer you curl up in the fetal position and start to cry.

(Welcome bbk agp) :-)

I wish I didn't have to drive to the concrete jungle every day.

Granted! You drive through hell now

I wish that my life wouldn't be so confusing

Granted. You are stranded on a deserted island, where you only need to keep three things in your mind: food, shelter and heat.

I wish Silmarillion was finished - by Tolkien himself.

Granted, but now Christopher finds himself with nothing to do, and commits suicide.

I wish I owned a copy of every single book ever bound and printed in the history of the world.

Granted but all of them have the ending missing from the book.

I wish Alex Rodriguez would admit his gay relationship with Derek Jeter so i can laugh at him

Granted, now two of baseballs' best players are in an open relationship. You laugh at them, while no one else does, and as such, are ostracized from society. You are forced to live on a small island on the edge of the Pacific, where your only friend is a volleyball named Wilson (yeah, that's from Castaway).

But really, that wish of yours could have been viewed as offensive, as it seems you laugh at gay people.

I wish my cellphone had some bars in this part of the country.

But really, that wish of yours could have been viewed as offensive, as it seems you laugh at gay people.

I'd have to agree :)

I wish my cellphone had some bars in this part of the country.

Granted! Your bars are as high as they can get now. The start to dial the numbers to call your parents to tell the good news when suddenly your phone rings, it’s an unknown number. You’re about to press the button that gives them the busy tone, when suddenly the phone stops ringing. Your phone vibrates and announces you have a text message. You quickly check it.

“I wouldn’t do that my friend.”

It simply says. You look at the number, it’s the same as the one from just seconds before. Your heart skips and you look around frantically, you’re in your own home… Yet… they had to of seen you. You run into the bathroom and lock the door, as the panic sits in. Your phone vibrates again, your hand shake as you scroll to the text.

“Nice rubber duck.”

You look at the duck on the edge of your bath. You shake your head. How did they know you were in the bathroom? And for that matter… the duck. No. You said, they couldn’t see you. No. Everyone had a rubber duck in their bathroom… right? You were safe, right? Your phone vibrates.

“You have a crack on the left side of your toilet, the seat is up. I wouldn’t suggest sitting down.”

You start to breath heavily and the tears almost come down when suddenly your phone rings again.

You slowly flip it open and a voice comes on the phone.

“Hello my friend.”

You’re shaking by now, and can’t do anything but mutter nonesense.

“You’ve got something I must have.”

You look around frantically as you crawl into a ball in the bathtub.

“You see… you’ve got it right in the freezer.”

You think hard through the fear and can think of nothing someone would want. Vegetables, meat, ice… a klondike bar.

The bullet peirces through the wall and strikes you square inbetween the eyes. You fall over dead, and your phone smashes as it falls to the floor. The footsteps are loud as they enter your house, and open your freezer door. The gently take the klondike bar from your freezer. The man smiles, and pours the gasoline all over your home. Just before he leaves, the chocolate covering his mouth and fingers, a smile is on his face. The match falls, and your house quickly engulfs itself in flames.

What would you do for a klondike bar?

I wish my homework was complete.

Your genius friend completes your homework for you, and goes on a 5-week vacation before he remembers to hand it back to you.

I wish I could buy hamburgers with fried mushrooms on top where I live.

Poof! The short order cook gets busy and prepares your meal, but unfortunately your is made from cedar shake and some grease drips down and sets fire to your house.

I wish I could spell.

granted, you no longer mispell things but you can't stand it when you see words that aren't spelled right. Abrevations like "txt" "cuz" "lol" "srry" "brb" etc. bother you so much that you fixate on them so much that it ends up driving you insane and you spend the rest of your life avoiding people and muttering words and letters under your breath.
I wish we could get rid of the stupid computer virus and not get any other computer virus ever again

Granted! Your hard drive fries, taking out the virus in the process. You also find yourself unable to afford another computer either.

I wish it was still the holiday weekend.

It is still the holiday weekend. Unfortunatly, the weather is so bad and extreme you are locked inside your house. Moreover, your Boss/School remind you off your work/homework that is due in for tommorow.

I wish the world has an unlimited supply of oil/gas.

Granted, but now everywhere have oil/gas supply... when you look around you will see nothing but oil. Even when you open rerigerator there is some oil in bottle there.

I wish there was no jealousy sence in human beings.

Granted, but now everywhere have oil/gas supply... when you look around you will see nothing but oil. Even when you open rerigerator there is some oil in bottle there.

I wish there was no jealousy sence in human beings.

Jealousy is now a thing of the past, but, now, nothing gets done. There is not covet, no motivation to further yourself. No houses are built, we are all homeless.

I wish the person below me's wish turns out perfectly, with no downsides.

Granted! The person below you has a wish and it turns out perfectly but the wish is to make everyone hate you

I wish everyone hates kehl

Granted! They all hate Kehl but because of your evil wish they hate you even more!

I wish i was Quark

Granted! Your Quark but then since your Quark, your actually doing what Quark does and Quark is supposed to die in the next episode thing

I wish that the person below me wouldn't make my wish evil

Granted, I don't make your wish evil, but because this wish wasn't evil your next wish has to be twice as evil as normal, and it ends up destroying the whole universe.
I wish that i could find the motivation to finish writing my various stories and letter

Granted, but your motivation came by in the form of an old hobo who smells of peanut butter, so your stories and letter aren't very good.

I wish I was a better person.

You become a better person. More specifically, you become Mahatma Gandhi in the 1940's, just before he's shot.

I wish we could travel to other stars.

granted but there's no oxygen on them and you have a tank for 2 hours and you cant return home...

i wish i was Soujiro Seta

Granted. You are now a character of manga/anime and can only speak what's in the script.

More specifically, you become Mahatma Gandhi in the 1940's, just before he's shot.

I wish I wasn't dead.

Granted, you are no longer dead, instead you are a mindless zombie who wanders around during the day being shunned by normal humans
I wish i wan't still sore

Granted, you're not sore, but just about everything else bad that can possibly happen does happen to you. You're not sore, but you're tired, hungry, cold, hot, uncomfortable, thirsty, half-crazy, and umm...lots of other crap. XD

I wish I was rich enough to publish a book on my own, without sending it to a publisher.

Granted, but they deliver so many books that you are trapped inside your house and can't escape.

I wish I didn't have blisters :(

Granted, you don't have blisters but have a really bad disease that no one can cure and you have to bear with it for all of your life.

I wish I had higher download speed for dowloads

granted but now all your downloads never complete they stop on 99.9%

i wish that i could go home

Granted! You head home and realize that someone nuked your house

I wish I had higher download speed that wouldn't make the download stop

Granted you hvae a higher download speed, but once you download one thing your computer downloads everything it can find to download, until eventually your computer has downloaded so much that it spontaneously combusts

I wish that my throat would stop hurting

Granted! your throat stops hurting but then your whole head starts to hurt

I wish that sickness will go away

Granted. The world is now populated by 6.5 billion healthy people... who don't die till they are 80... in 10 years, there will be 9 billion people. In 15 years, all the fertile ground will be used up. In 20 years, everyone dies of famine.

But at least they died (relatively) healthy. Apart from the starving to death part.

I wish that my classmates would stop nagging me about the school play!

Granted, they start nagging you to take up the digeridoo instead
I wish that my mom would stop getting mad at me for no apparent reason

Granted. Instead, she starts to cry for no apparant reason.
(Hmmm, digeridoo... tried that once, turns my lungs aren't strong enough...)

I wish I could play the digeridoo...