Thinking in paragraphs

[CobaltLion]

I'm wiriting a section in which the carachter narrating the section is having deeper thoughts that "interrupt" his dialogue, many times in mid sentance, as they are supposed to be occouring at the same time as the narrative.

I've been placing them inside parenthesis and italics (I italicize all thoughts from characters to differentiate them from spoken dialogue. Do these start a new paragraph, even if they interupt a sentace, or should they be on the same line as the dialgue that started them?

Examples:

Like this--


“Keep moving!” He yelled. I ran back toward him, ripping the soft turf up under me. The ground felt nice as I ran past the cones, this time headed for a path leading to wires over some short wooden sticks. I crawled under them, and the wires scraped my back like brambles.
(back when we lived in…)

Or this-


“Keep moving!” He yelled. I ran back toward him, ripping the soft turf up under me. The ground felt nice as I ran past the cones, this time headed for a path leading to wires over some short wooden sticks. I crawled under them, and the wires scraped my back like brambles.(back when we lived in…)

[Cogito]

I would paragraph it like this:
“Keep moving!” He yelled.

I ran back toward him, ripping the soft turf up under me. The ground felt nice as I ran past the cones, this time headed for a path leading to wires over some short wooden sticks. I crawled under them, and the wires scraped my back like brambles.

Back when we lived in…

The first break separates the focus on him and his shout from your run. The next separates the present action, your run, from a past event.

A good way to approach it is to ask yourself, "What is this paragraph about?" If the answer containe "and" or "then", you might need to subdivide it. It's not a 100% rule, but it's a good starting point.

[NaCl]

Ditto Cog's advice . . . if this is an example of your overall writing in this story, you need to go back and study your paragraph breaks, following Cog's comment about separating different topics into their own paragraphs.

[CobaltLion]

Alright, thanks.

This isn't really typical of how I write, but I'm doing this in one particular section to try and subtaly illustrate a point that occours later one. (That the character has gaps in his memory.)

I've got the breaks in there already, and based off that advice I'm going to be better off removing a few of these "thought bubbles." that interupt sentances and the overall flow of the paragraph.

If it makes more sense I could include a larger section. (2 or 3 paragraphs) to ilustrate.

[architectus]

Check out Stephen King's, The Shinning. He does this a lot in that novel.

[apathykills]

after reading this i have a question, i noticed that in all your examples you leave a space between each paragraph.
personally i begin new paragraphs without using a blank line (as I am doing now) and only start a completely new block of text in case of something akin to a change in location, point of view, pace etc...
is this a major grammatical mistake or an acceptable personal preference?

[Cogito]

In manuscript, paragraphs should begin with a first line indent, typically around hald an inch. Everyhing in a manuscript is double spaced, but no extra blank line shoubd be placed between paragraphs.

Leading indents don't work in the text boxes on this website. Instead, you should manually put extra blank lines between paragraphs when posting work here. The same method is usable on web pages, if you don't have first line indent available. Many printed media use both a first line indent and an vertical gap between paragraphs, and that's very readable.

But treat all paragraphs the same way in a single written piece. Sections or scenes may be separated with a "paragraph" consisting of "###" in manuscript or in the forum. On a typeset page you might use a centered graphic such as a scroll curve.