Books we will never read

[HellOnEarth]

Don't worry, you'll catch on to this thread:

.......................

A Hunger for Starvation by Lindsay Lohan

Growing Old with Tom by Katie Holmes

How To Respond to a Terrorist Attack by George W. Bush

If I had done it, this is how I would've done it by O.J. Simpson

........................

And the last one isn't really fiction. :eek: :)

[Onoria Westhrop]

War and Peace by Napoleon
The beauty of Spinoza by Paris Hilton
The art of Comedy by Arnold Shwarzneger
The End of the Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan
Nothing happened by Joseph Heller

[Wilderbeast]

101 Great Dead Baby Jokes - By "Rowe"
How To [anything] - By Tom Cruise
My Loser Husband - By Hillary Clinton

[Spherical Time]

How to change who you are ~ Ted Haggard

The End of the Wheel of Time ~ Robert Jordan (kudos Onoria)

Good Writing ~ Jenkins and LeHay

[SeaBreeze]

How to romance a woman - by Jack the Ripper

I couldn't think of anything more!!! :(

[Spherical Time]

Picasso's guide to Realism ~ Dali

[HellOnEarth]

The Importance of Truth-Telling by James Frey.

Introductory note by Augusten Burroughs.

[Raven]

Barry Manilows Biograthy.

[RobYoung]

The Art of War D. Rumsfeld
In Search of Justice Nifong
How to Meet Women Ted Bundy

[Raven]

Ted Dansons - Biography

[Spherical Time]

Serenity and Wisdom ~ Tom Cruise

[Raven]

Gearge Clooneys - Biograpthy

[SeaBreeze]

Men's pants by Humphry. B. Bear.

[Eoz Eanj]

Personal Recipes; A cook book: Hannibal Lector

[SeaBreeze]

Personal Recipes; A cook book: Hannibal Lector

LMAO. nahahahahhaa!

Singing lessons for newcomers- Paris Hilton

[Raven]

Terry Wogan Biography

[Nexus]

"The Ancient Rhyme of the Mariner"
(Its one massive poem that needs to be a book because its so big)

[Fantasy of You]

The third book in the Eragon trilogy.

[Domoviye]

Modesty - Britney Spears

[Eoz Eanj]

169 Naughty Sex Tricks- Stephen Hawking

[SeaBreeze]

169 Naughty Sex Tricks- Stephen Hawking

roflpml :D hahahaha u r too funny! hahahaha!

[SeaBreeze]

Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll! - The G Man! (:D)

[ItalianStallion]

How to pronounce hard words:by George W. Bush
How to sound smart: by George W. Bush
How to cause wars: by George W. Bush
How to make utterly no sense at all when speaking: by George W. Bush

[Spherical Time]

Long and Happy Lives by River Phoenix, with a special introduction by James Dean.

[Myst]

How To Write With Originality- Christopher Paolini

[ItalianStallion]

When I Was Young:by: Micheal Jackson

[Frost]

Motherhood - Brittany Spears

[wordwizard]

How to be a classy lady-roseanne barr

[Myst]

Embrace Your Skin Colour- Michael Jackson

Followed up by a preview of "Paedophile and Proud."

[Spherical Time]

Signs of Compassion by Richard "Dick" Cheney

[ItalianStallion]

Can't Stop Smiling by: Osama Bin Laden

[Frost]

How To Charm A Lady - Chopper Read

[Vroom Vroom Daddy]

The Jeffery Dalmer cookbook -Hannable Lecter

How to look hot a be sexy -Richard Simmons

Ten websites that will get you noticed by homeland security -Dick Cheney

[Vroom Vroom Daddy]

The potatoe patch -Vice president Quail

[Analog Worms]

How to Land Mr. Right By Andrea Dworkin :D

[ItalianStallion]

Coming out of the closet By: R.Kelley

[Sapphire]

The Guide to Proper English by George Dubbyah Bush

How to Fail Computer Class by Bill Gates

How to REALLY bring Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

[Crazy Ivan]

"Look, I Really Totally Completely Honestly Swear I Absolutely Most Certainly Did Not Do It......Kind Of," by OJ Simpson.

[Sapphire]

How to Shoot a Quail in Close Range by Dick Cheney

[ItalianStallion]

I Didn't Do It,Well..maybe By: Michael Jackson

[wordwizard]

How to hide a mental breakdown-britenay spears

[Lizzy]

The Joys of Fatherhood by Howard K. Stern

[Crazy Ivan]

Peasant Hunting for Dummies (A Guide For The Rest Of Us!) by Dick Cheney.

[Lizzy]

How DNA Has Shaped My Afterlife by Anna Nicole Smith

[onyxprop]

Anything ranging from 1-500 pages and written by Stephan Harper, Tony Blair and George Bush as a trio.

No offense. It's only politics.

[Domoviye]

Hey Stephen Harper is writing a fairly lengthy book right now. :p




Ok its about hockey, but its still a book.:D

[Alice in Wonderland]

101 tips on choosing a plastic surgeon - Michael Jackson.

Social Interaction for Dummies - Jimmy the Hermit.

Going bald in one easy step - Brittney Spears.

[WhiteRider]

On death and dying,

[wordwizard]

Food is for dummies-nicole ritchie

Showing your bones is so totally in!-mary-kate olsen

[Raven]

How to have babies

[sideofko]

How to eat your words- Nancy Grace

Any book by Christopher Reeves

Anger Management Theory and Practice- Bobby Knight

[Kit]

Racial Equality - Adolf Hitler

(Not sure if I should really post that but in no way do I endorse those views or find what happened funny...)

[Kit]

How to stay sober - George Best

[Domoviye]

Perform Stand Up Comedy For Any Audience - Micheal Richards

[radarcassy]

How to Look like Barbie - Britney Spears

[Night Haunter]

David hasselhoff Biograpthy.

[radarcassy]

101 shades of Purple - Ray Charles

[SeaBreeze]

David hasselhoff Biograpthy.

For some wierd reason, I think we will actually see it!

How to responde correctly to crits and other twits by anon.

[Alice in Wonderland]

What really happened on the first 7 days- God

[Crazy Ivan]

The Five People You Really Meet In Heaven- Jesus.

Why I Love The Theater- Abraham Lincoln.

Confessions Of A Teenage Jailbird- Paris Hilton.

How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Global Warming- Al Gore

[SeaBreeze]

Sugery sweets for everyone- Dentist Digest

[Banzai]

Maps to weapons of mass destruction by Saddam Hussein

[SeaBreeze]

lol

Grace and ettquitte- Cartman (southpark)

[Banzai]

Healthy Living by John Prescott

[Domoviye]

The TRUTH - Most politicians

[Banzai]

What I stand for by David Cameron

[Cogito]

A Touch of Class by Paris Hilton

[Banzai]

How to retire gracefully by Tony Blair

Why the Daleks are based on me... by Stephen Hawking

[Eoz Eanj]

Making Marriage Work- Britney Spears

Taking Care of Children- Britney Spears

Adoption in the 3rd World (A How To Guide)- Angelina Jolie and Madonna

[Cogito]

Physics Made Simple by Kevin Federline
Living Harmoniously by Dom Imus

[Banzai]

What not to say when visiting a Muslim country by Pope Benedict XIV

Stuff I probably shouldn't have said by George W Bush

[SeaBreeze]

How to safely ride your motorbike without harming yourself by Evil Kinevil
Lullabies to sing your children to sleep by Rob Zombie

[Banzai]

The Theory of "Ah, screw it, there's no such thing as physics" by Albert Einstein

[SeaBreeze]

lol.

[SnipSnap]

The Art of Losing Gracefully - Al Gore

"Eve really had a Penis" - by Adam

[Doc]

"The Art of War"-by Sun Tsu with a forward by Donald Rumsfeld.

"Aerodynamics in Telecommunications"-by Russell Crowe

"A guide to Giants Stadium"- by Jimmy Hoffa

"My Baby's Momma"-by Kevin Federline

[SnipSnap]

"The Rhyme of the Crippled Girl who gets Attacked by a Lion and Dies." - by Dr. Suess

[Doc]

That's a classic!! I'd read that!

[Doc]

"Just Quit, you miserable failure"-by Zig Ziglar

[SnipSnap]

ha.

"A brief history of forever." - Stephen Hawking.

[Doc]

"How to pick up chicks"-Stephan Hawking

"Acting"-by William Shatner

"The Trouble with Tribbles in my Anus"-George Takei

[SnipSnap]

Basic Mannerisms - Nancy Grace

[Cogito]

Caged Contemplations by Paris Hilton

[SnipSnap]

I know what you did last summer - Will Ferrel

[Cogito]

The Whole Truth - O. J. Simpson

[Banzai]

The Whole Truth - O. J. Simpson

The Whole Truth Part II- Really, this time - OJ Simpson

[SnipSnap]

Charity: A How To Guide - Oprah

Teaching Basic Scientific Concepts to Your 3rd Grader easily and effectively - Stephen Hawking

[ItalianStallion]

BROKE my BACK on a MOUNTAIN - George W. Bush

Helping Children - Micheal Jackson

How to get away with fraud - Enron Corp.

[SnipSnap]

How to Write Poorly - SnipSnap [sorry, I had to :D]

Harry Smokes Potter - jk rowling

The End of the Wheel of Time: The Sequel - Robert Jordan

[Banzai]

"Actually, I made up everything in the Da Vinci code" by Dan Brown

[Raven]

Jamie Olivers cook books

[Cogito]

Living Under the Radar - Britney Spears

[Sayso]

Christian Divinity by Paris Hilton

[Cogito]

anything with complete sentences and no pictures by Paris Hilton...

[Sayso]

The Great Escape by Paris Hilton

[Domoviye]

Grace and Respectability - Paris Hilton

[Banzai]

How I survived Camp David by Gordon Brown

I am the last of the timelords by Tony Blair

I am the walrus by George W. Bush

A Guide to tact and diplomacy by Boris Johnson

How to utterly disgrace yourself by the Engand Cricket/Rugby/Football teams

[adamant]

Survival Tactics - The Donner Party

[Bick]

ROFL@adamament :p

[Banzai]

The dangers of open top cars by John F. Kennedy

(Apologies for bad taste...)

[adamant]

12 Steps to Winning Hangman - Saddam Hussein

[Cogito]

To Serve Man by Jeffrey Dahmer

[Banzai]

How to defraud me and steal all of my money while I'm in jail by Lord Jeffery Archer

(Note: this was actually written, but it wasn't called that, and was actually a piece of fiction about fraud, the methods from which fraudsters later used on Archer himself :p)

[adamant]

How to be the Life of the Party by Charles Manson

[Banzai]

How I went crazy and wrecked a perfectly good band by Axl Rose

[adamant]

How I went crazy and wrecked a perfectly good band by Yoko Ono


(I don't even like them, but w/e)

[RomanticRose]

My Erotic Escapades in the Oval Office, by William Jefferson Clinton

Quiet Reflections, by Rosie O'Donnell

My Beauty Secrets, by Whoopi Goldberg

The Official Tom Cruise Fan Book, by Brooke Shields

[Weaselword]

Which Kneepads? by Monica Lewinsky

[Lord]

critical thinking and pronunciation - george bush

[Eoz Eanj]

Lol, Lord.

Celibacy: Hugh Hefner

[debbiepanell]

Guide to Parenthood - Brittany Spears

[ScaryPen]

Medicinal Properties of Garlic - Count Dracula

[Lemex]

Battlefeild Earth: Return of the Pychelo - Ron L Hubberd.

I couldn't finnish Battlefeild Earth... so dull!

[ScaryPen]

Guide to hospitality - Macbeth
Eat your way to health - Homer Simpson
An Apple a day- Bill Gates

[daisyfly]

How 'bout . . .
Clean and Sober, co-authored by Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.
Perfecting the Art of Sounding Smart - George W. Bush

[Lemex]

Hereditary Genius: Two Generations of Smart.
By George W. Bush.

Sorry, Daisyfly, I copyed off you :P.

[yfc54]

There's Nothing Out There - Tom Cruise

101 Ways To Keep Your Man Happy In Bed - KD Lang

The Natural Look - Joan Rivers

Always Look On The Bright Side -Leonard Cohen

Hang Gliding - Pavarotti

Modesty - Simon Cowell

[daisyfly]

Your "Leonard Cohen" book is my favorite post in this thread. lol I love it.

Okay - let's try -

101 Meals to Share With Your Neighbors - Jeffrey Dahmer

[yfc54]

Your "Leonard Cohen" book is my favorite post in this thread. lol I love it.

Okay - let's try -

101 Meals to Share With Your Neighbors - Jeffrey Dahmer

I try to please and I am especially pleased that it was appreciated by someone from Pennsylvania as my daughter has just returned from Phili and she was very well looked after while she was there

[daisyfly]

Cool - that's quite a ways from Sunderland!! Hope she enjoyed our lovely little state.

[yfc54]

Cool - that's quite a ways from Sunderland!! Hope she enjoyed our lovely little state.


She's been twice this year and may be going back in December.I reckon she'll move there eventually

[daisyfly]

That's awesome. It's beautiful here.

[Lord]

the complete book on childcare - britney spears

how to look good naked - peter kay