walk up to people i didnt like smile and wait until the rock hits them in the face. hahaha

what would you do if everything tasted like charcoal.

Eat some charcoal and hope it tastes better.

What would you do if every time you got hit on the head song birds flew around your head in a circle for a few seconds, chirping loudly, before flying away?

THAT IS MY FANTASY COME TRUE. it would be awesome. I would hit people in the head with my orbiting rock all day long.

what would you do if everytime you walked your theme song would come on. (pick a song and imagine it)

Hire someone to walk behind me with a smoke machine. With the really dark music (can't think of any good ones off hand, but I know where to look), and the smoke it would be awesome.

What would you do if any food you touched turned into bland, tasteless, ugly mush?

uhm become friends with a person who wil feed me food unless touching it with my mouth counts...if so then i would just have to eat bland mush.

what would you do if you were sent to prison for 1 yr

Whatever it took to stay alive, relatively unharmed, and get out of jail early.

What would you do if civilization crumbled, and you were made leader of a small community of survivors?

i would do a system of voting for every decidion there was. That way i can never be fully blamed for something if it goes wrong.
I would also make houses out of scrap metal and wear a scrap metal crown because i would look cool

what would you do if....a swarm of bees decided to attack you and noone would help you...

Build a shelter out of other peoples bodies. They don't want to help, I'll make them help. :)
for

What would you do if aliens came to Earth and asked you to give them one item of significance?

uhmmmm I have nothingin my life of significance.....so maybe I would give them my computer....or my dog......or my cat that scratches when it doesnt want ot be pet........dont know why those are significant but hey at least they are off m hands

what would you do if you had to kiss the ugliest person known to man

I couldn't do it becuase there is no point is kissing someone if you have no feelings for them so I would cut my lips off and hand them to him and say here ya go kiss them and then call my self an ambulance lol

what would you do if Domoviye walked up to you and smaked you over the head with a fish and then handed you $200 and said wanna go for drinks?

(Am I allowed to answer that?)

hahahaha I knew that one would get you hahahahaha

Ok just for that I'll answer it.
I'd go out for the drink. I'd also make sure we got a picture of the two of us together. But if it turns out Domoviye's a pretentious little bugger, at the end of the night I'd hit him with a beer bottle on the head, and give him a fiver.
Then I'd check myself into the nearest hospital for psychiatric observations and see if anyone else could see the photo of the two of us together.

What would you do if you saw your exact double sitting beside you in a waiting room?

first off i would change my underwear because i would defiently crap myself.
B:(hahah second of all) I would have a deep intellectual converstaion with them about who their parents are where they come from etc.
3. or pretend i dont see them-too much hassle

what would you do if your face turned to jello

Get a jelly mold to keep it from falling all over the place.
Than find some whip cream and dig in when I'm all alone.

What would you do if the government kept on putting up barriers to you collecting your money in a timely manner?

(Filing income tax sucks)

I would go to a income tax place so they can file it for me. sucker

what would you do if you seen a ghost

(Figuring out the taxes was easy. It was the filing online that I had trouble with, because I changed banks. I eventually had to say to heck with and mail them in.)

Depends on the ghost. If it looks peaceful, i.e. not dripping blood, scowling or yelling, watch it in horror/awe. If it looks violent run away screaming like a little girl.

What would you do if fast zombies rose up and started decimating mankind?

I'd say oh-well those men deserve it so let 'em have it. hahahhahah

What would you do if your hand was always slapping your face?

Get one of those collars they put on animals after they have surgery from biting at their stitches. Cut out two holes to see through and I won't be able to slap myself.

What would you do if Britney Spears songs were constantly running through your head, even when you slept?

Kill myself i hate her with a passion....

What would you do if your house was full of squealing pigs and you were chained to the wall and had to stay there and listen to them non stop?

Considering my house, I'd pull the chains from the walls fairly easily. Then it would be a quick trip to the gun cabinet. I'd be eating pork for the next year.
Good thing I like pig.

What would you do if an angel was constantly standing right beside you, telling you to be a good little boy/girl, and kept giving you moralistic advice?

What would you do if an angel was constantly standing right beside you, telling you to be a good little boy/girl, and kept giving you moralistic advice?

Bitch about the 'grace' of God until they get so tired of hearing my atheist mumbo-jumbo that they feel compelled to leave.

What would you do if I slapped you on the bum-bum?

Ask you out. I like em' naughty.

What would you do if your house is magically transported into the heart of the amazon rainforest?

Hope that someone comes along to help get me out, call every news station, university, college, scientific magazine, and scientific organization to study what happened. Sell the story to Hollywood for millions, and make a book deal, in the resulting media circus.

What would you do if you had a little cartoon devil, and angel on your shoulder that argued a lot and fought regularly like in cartoons?

I'd grab a gun and pretend I was about to go on a shooting frenzy, and when they popped up to offer me moral advice, I'd shoot the little buggers. Serves 'em right for standing on my shoulders and yelling in my ears 24/7.

What would you do if you were a little cartoon devil on someone's shoulder like in cartoons?

Cream in their ear all day

What would you do if everything you ate tasted like dirt?

Get a condom for my tongue, and plug my nose. If I can't taste the food it won't taste like dirt.

What would you do if a ghostly woman appeared in front of you and said you had to lead the world out of darkness and gave you a big sword?

learn how to use it just in case
but i would have nno idea how to lead the world out of darkness.

what would you do ifwater never absorbed into your ksin?

Dehydrate and die.

What would you do if you could only walk on your hands?

walk on my hands.....
badda bing badda boom-easy question hahah
what would you do if someone sewed your mouth shut and it healed that way?

Cut it open with a razor blade.

What would you do if everyone you touched became hideous and sickly?

i would be the girl who lived in a bubble

what would you do if your arm got pinned under a truck in an accident and the onl way to get it out would be to cut half it off by yourself.

Wait for a doctor, unless I was going to die by staying there.

What would you do if you could only speak in metaphors?

My frustation would be an angry shark.

What would you do if you could only speak in haikus?

This would be no good
Anger rules the heart and mind
Frustrated I be

What would you do if you could only speak in rhyme?

Backwards, forwards, under, over, and up the Irish sea,
I'd sail the ship fantastic,
For that's the life for me.

What would you do if you could only speak in palindromes? (Good luck.)

(That was hard, enjoy the nonsense)

Panic in a Titanic, I nap.
We panic in a pew.
Cigar tragic.
Cain am I maniac.


What would you do if you could only speak in pig latin?

I don't know. Sure is a good thing I don't, eh?

What would you do if you suddenly had god-given guitar-playing skills?

Start up a music career, as the best damn guitar player for a rock band. Get rich, lose all my braincells, and begin to waste millions of dollars on drugs, simply because I have all the money in the world, and become really depressed. Only to end up dead in a gutter with a five dollar hooker.
People will declare me the greatest person ever.

What would you do if your hair kept trying to strangle you and regrew 5 feet every night?

Eh. Give me something that doesn't happen in real life. >.>

What would you do if your hair suddenly turned into a combover that couldn't be cut or grown?

Act like everything's normal. (I don't care about my hair much)

What would you do if you were stuck in a bad dream?

Use my lucid dream skills to take over and change the dream. At the very least I could kill myself in the dream which does wake you up.

What would you do if someone kept throwing pebbles at you and they could run away very quickly?

shoot them with a gun.
that bastard.

what would you do if there suddenly was a hole in the centre of the earth going all the way through.....

Hope there was a way off the planet. Because that can't be healthy.

What would you do if you could have peace and happiness for eternity by leaving everything you currently love, own and care about, by going five hundred years into the future?

Stay 'thanks' but opt. to stay in the present. Whoever said the future of this world was progressing to the better is, mostly likely, a compulsive liar.

What would you do if your clothes suddenly dissolved and you were left standing naked in front of a group of people you're trying to impress?

As long as they like the male body, really impress them. :D

What would you do if you started to slowly turn into baloney?

Seek the help of Doc Brown. If he can help Marty McFly, he can help me.

What would you do if you had Doc Brown's time machine?

Go back in time to a time when a very special person was in my life still and tell him everything that I wanted to ever say to him.
Or I would go back to yesterday and not have got my hair dyed cause it is blotchy and I look like a dalmation....lol.....well not with the black and white but ya get the idea...lol

What would you do if you went back in time and realised you had no way of ever returning?

Depending on the time either become the worlds greatest astrologer/scientist, or become one heck of a political strategist.
With my interest in history, while I couldn't make millions betting on sporting events, I would definitely impress people with my knowledge of what will be happening in the near future.

What would you do if a Unicorn walked up to you right now?

Stop snorting that glue.

What would you do if you could walk through walls?

No banks, no secrets, and no locker rooms would be safe from me.

What would you do if every step you took launched you 20 feet into the air?

use a wheelchair. and compete in high jump competitions.

what would you do if water all around the world rised about 10 feet?

Laugh at all the people not up on a hill like me. And buy a boat.

What would you do if your eyes went on strike, picket signs and all?

make an agreement before they start fires...

what would u do if canada became a 3rd world country?

Be glad I was in the US.

What would you do if the USA became a third-world country?

Be glad I don't live anywhere. LOL

What would you do if the USA split in to hunderds of little islands?

Not much cause I am Australian and I don't think it would affect me all that much, but then again I would probably laugh and then wonder what the heck they have been up to for that to happen......

What would you do if the world was taken over by aliens and they were using humans as slaves and you were the only one that they hadn't gotten to yet!?

pretend that i was taken over and then shoot em down with a huge bomb. Kill as many as i could because its a pretty hopeless fight.

what would you do if your tounge fell off?

Not teach English. At least orally.

What would you do if simply by existing you perverted and destroyed reality, causing havoc, sadness, anger, and insanity in your wake?

Sit down and relax after a hard days work and enjoy my next bottle of Jack Daniels mmmmm so relaxing


What would you do if you were given every material possesion you have ever wanted only for all of it to blow up 5 minutes later?

Run away from the resulting nuclear fallout.

What would you do if every two minutes you had to pee, and your pee was radioactive ants?

Chow down on brocolli, wait for a kidney stone to form, go in for surgery, and then when the surgeons got in at the ants, it would be a two-way ambush- neither would expect each other. Than they would duke it out while I lay asleep, unaware of any pain or unpleasantness. Then when I awoke half an hour later, not only would I be completely cleansed of radioactive ants, kidney stones, and all other piss-related problems. And not only that, but all the surgeons would be dead, so I wouldn't have to pay anyone for the surgery bill. Whoo!

What would you do if life was a musical?

Considering my poor singing voice, and two left feet, I'd be the audience.

What would you do if you shorted out electronics just by being near them?

I'd get a life, hard as it may be.

What would you do if a big gaming company asks you to be their next official mascot?

I would decline but offer my dog to be the mascot. he bites and pees when he gets excited but he is still pretty original looking.

What would you do if you turned around and oprah winfrey was behind you offering you a position as cohost.

Demand a contract and a raise. Not necessarily in that order.

What would you do if your boss offered you a 50% raise, but no vacation days for the rest of the year, or no raise but ten extra vacation days?

I'd accept the cash. No kids or wife to neglect and I'd just make sure the weekends were really relaxing.

What would you do if your life became a cheap gangster novel?

try to better my life.see.....get out of the male hookers and blow lifestyle........

what would you do if your nose could talk and you smelled someone realllly smelly

Make a really funny comment, and make it an act in Vegas.

What would you do if an animal chewed off your face while you slept?

get a new face and a new pet. baddabing baddaboo

what would you do if every 10 minutes you would pas out

Drive nothing, and never take up mountain climbing.

What would you do if your entire life was made into a movie, that flopped because it was too boring and depressing, and the main character was found to be whiny, and you didn't get any royalties, and you are now the butt of every joke?

do things to make the movie more enjoyable to the public and redeem my name.

what would you do if everyone could hear your thoughts(only your thoughts)

My thoughts "Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. Domoviye is God. Domoviye is good. Obey Domoviye. I need to go to the bathroom."

What would you do if a T-Rex started chasing your car down a busy street?

crap my pants and press the gas. Then quickly switch to boat (which i can run because i live by theocean) and boat out really deep...and we all know it cant swim so job done.

What would you do if your hair grew a foot every day

I repeat: Give me something that doesn't already happen.

What would you do if you found yourself in a post-apocalyptic future?

Jump for joy.
Even though I'm a guy I always wanted long hair. But it stops at about 4 inches and curls into a nasty fro.

<Edit>
If I was in a post-apocalyptic future, I'd jump for joy that I'm an excellent shot, and have access to lots of guns and ammo. No raiders would piss me and my family off more than once.
<End Edit>

What would you do if talking caused the Spirits of the Damned to moan in agony behind you?

(That was bizarre. I really don't know where that came from.)

put in ear plugs and let other people deal with it.

what would you do if you could spin your head around 360 degrees but sometimes it happened when you didnt try to do it.

Make money by doing a documentary about it and selling it to The Learning Channel. And using the resulting notoriety to get an act in Vegas, they'll watch and pay for anything there.

What would you do if every time you cried, Angels flew down from Heaven, laughed at you, and kicked sand in your face?

i would put my goggles on every time i cried


what would you do if god told you that you were infact an angel, but you would not be able to get wings unless you confesed every one of your sins to your entire family?

Step away from the mushrooms, throw the LSD in the garbage, give away my alcohol to the homeless guy down the street, and go into detox.

What would you do if you turned into an animated ventriloquists puppet?

turn into chuckie!!!!


what would you do if suddently the whole world thought you to be the mesiah and folowed you everywhere and copied your every move

Awesomeness. Complete and total Awesomeness.
The world would definitely become a better place, or die horribly as it exploded from one of my ill thought out experiments into making me immortal, omnipotent, and omniscient.

What would you do if your life was a cheap comic strip?

uhm i dont know how to respond to those ones. I would sell myself in gum packets?
What would you do if all the dumb people became highly intellectual and all the intellectuals lost all ability to think?

Finally support the NDP. :D

What would you do if you had to go to ten years of boring committee meetings?

shoot myself

what would you do if you just had your eye poked out by a 3 year old?

get stoned on marijuna before i go in each time to keep things interesting. hahahahah(helloo this is B.C. although those days are long gone *sigh* good times)

what would you do if a mummy stuck a straw up your nose to start sucking out your brains?

I'll answer both.
Put mittens on the 3 year old. He can't use his fingers to poke my eyes out then.

Pinch the straw shut to keep my brains in. And buy the mummy a slushie.

What would you do if your fingernails fell off and attacked your feet?

get really sore feet

What would you do if you woke up and saw the grimm reaper standing above you?

Challenge him to a game of Calvinball. http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Nook/2990/cb_rules.htm

What would you do if a pegasus landed in front of you, saddled and ready to go.

Grab my wallet, my iPod, my parents' credit cards, hop on board, and laugh at the unsuspecting cities of the world.

What would you do if sunlight made you turn purple?

I like purple, and i dont min dbeing different. so i would live my life the same(except be photographed everywhere)
what would you do if you were sucked into a black hole?

I'd scream painfully as my molecules were ripped apart one by one- but soon would be interrupted, because black holes, being able to suck in even light, have to have sucking speeds even faster than the speed of light, and since the faster you get, the slower time goes, time would slow to eternity, and I would be forever trapped in the rim between the inky void of space and the unforgiving maelstrom that was slowly, oh so slowly, devouring me atom by atom.

^.^

What would you do if gravity suddenly didn't exist?

Tie myself down to the Earth.

What would you do if every time you pooped a rabbit jumped out of the toilet?

I would start a farm. or eat them HAHAHAHA EW. or sell the skins or start a shooting gallery at my house hahaha.

what would you do if you got lost in the desert eith nobody in sight

Try to find water, shade or a cactus.

What would you do if you were trapped on a tropical island?

make shelter-fire-find fresh water-try to make a boat-and chill out...thats what i call a vacation!

what would you do if you suddenly contracted a flesh easting virus and all the doctors are out of town that day?

Drink some alcohol take a lot of advil and start cutting away the diseased flesh. There are enough saws, sharp knives and chisels in the kitchen and toolbox.

What would you do if your feet were constantly covered in ice?

get hypothermia and have my feet fall off.

what would you do if your lips move on their own-all willy nilly like

Enough botox will make them too stiff to move.

What would you do if an army of two inch tall humans kept stealing your keys, all of your keys?

have keyless entries to everything and push a button to start my car.

What would you do if you had wheels instead of feet?

Get car insurance, just to be on the safe side.

What would you do if your legs and feet turned into arms and hands?

do insane cartwheels all over town. that and eat with my feet-hands.....
what would you do if your eyes were neon

Show them off to everyone.

What would you do if your young child (or niece, nephew, grandchild, sibling, child of a family friend, etc) became a genius overnight?

would feed her the knowledge she needed and attribute to it in any way i could

what would you do if you became a genius overnight

Become an evil genius the next morning, and take over the world with my giant, blackhole shooting, genetically altered, cybernetic, cow robots.

What would you do if all the government files said you didn't exist, and your parents told you, you were never born?

Commit all the world's greatest crimes. Hurray for being traceless.

What would you do if life was a comic book?

I'd probably fly around doing inpossible things. It just depends on what kind of comic book it was like.

What would you do if everyone in the world suddenly moved into your house?

Grab a few books, some clothes and find the newest, nicest abandoned house to move into. If they don't want it I'll take it.

What would you do if your hands were always sticky with honey?

I'd stop using a knife to eat my peas and use my hands instead. (Inspired by a nursery rhyme.)

What would you do if your pet sprouted wings (Or arms if it's a bird) and ran around doing the hokey kokey?

Stare in confusion for at least half an hour. Then grab a video camera, call the media and take the show on the road.

What would you do if you turned into Big Foot?

Buy bigger shoes and migrate to the Alps.

What would you do if you were eating a steak and a leprechan turned up and turned it into gold?

Buy bigger shoes.

What would you do if you started growing younger instead of older?

Great minds think alike. xD

I'd apply for university at the age of 7 and get my degree at 4. ^^

What would you do if the world was 30% water and 70% land?

Sell my boat, and start hording water.

What would you do if Australia was replaced by Hell?

Never go surfing. Ever.

What would you do if World of Warcraft became reality and all those fanatics were actually right!?

((Sorry. >.<))

Grab some guns and become a Hunter. I'd like to see an Ogre take a .303 to the chest.

What would you do if sharks could fly?

(That reminds me of a music video I saw once...)

Get eaten with a surprisingly miniscule amount of blood shed so that if it's filmed it can be played before the watershed.

What would you do if your kid came home and had no head but other than that seemed to be fine?

Scream in horror, and run away crying like a little girl. Return after many hours, probably heavily medicated and see if reality is working again. If the kid still has no head repeat. (You'd be amazed at how often that works.)

What would you do if a large black dog kept following you, vanishing whenever its confronted, and you keep hearing a loud, very sad wailing?

Become consumed in my own fear and lock myself away in a high up building away from the odd fellow. If that failed I'd try talking to it. :s

What would you do if Idia collaped in on it'self and a new civilization of super humans replaced it. (No racism meant...)

Quite likely cancel my plans to work in Asia. That new civilization could be a little unhealthy.

What would you do if you found a cheap way to travel at the speed of light?

Buy a helmet and a tank of air and find the nearest planet with intelligent life. BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO THE RESCUE!

What would you do if you were a toy for a day?

Hope get to play with the Barbie's. (Yes I'm bad.)

What would you do if your hands became cat paws, and you got droopy dog ears

I can pull off anything. with the right hair and shoes-you wouldnt even notice it. hahah

What would you do if your boss offered you a raise in exchange for "extra curricular activites? hint hint nudge nudge"

"Yes, Ma'am. Right away Ma'am." (no girlfriend, no problem.)

What would you do if an alien space ship landed beside your car in a parking and an alien came out with some jumper cables, asking for a jump start?

"OMFG this is so totaly cool can i please get a photo to show my friends....SURE You can have a jump start" Followed by giggling fits

What would you do if you could talk to your pet for the day? (lame question i know but i'm strapped on creativity at the moment)

very politely ask my cat if it would kindly remove its furry but from my lap so i could go use the ladies room.

What would you do if all of a sudden your pet lifted it's head up and told you that it is sick and tired at looking at your face everyday and told you to go get plastic surgery before it rearranged your fce?

Go to the doctor, because I've either just had a stroke, or I have a brain tumour.

What would you do if your left hand was constantly waving at people, your right hand kept making rude gestures at people, and your legs only moved by skipping?

Get beaten up probably.. :?

What would you do if an elephant got a chair in the government?

Since elephants never forget ge thankful there might finally be a politician who remembers what they promised during the election.

What would you do if you developed zits all over your face that were full of acid, that melts everything that it touches, but doesn't harm you.

Pop them at my sister! >=) Gross AND Deadly! Mwahaha!

I'll reply to banzai's too >.> I'd keep it as a pet until I went brain dead.

What would you do if someone popped an acid zit at you?

get a 3rd degree burn




What would you do if your book got published and you became the new york times best seller

Be confused because I've never been to America. It would probably mean I'd have to visit there. D=

What would you do if your mum told you your real dad was a sea monster?

What would you do if everything you tasted, tasted like mint tea?Add honey, roughly half a tablespoon per cup.


What would you do if the sky were indeed falling?


(Oops, sorry, that was from way back weeks ago - my bad :( )

Rest a little to regain mana then mage it up on their ass!

What would you do if cars were man's best friend?

I was never good at sport... I'd probably fail. =[

What would you do if Steven Hawking was your best friend?

Mourn over it's loss and then find a new forum. =D

What would you do if I had just updated my fiction? ;D

Not so much a hint as a shameless plug and a seeking of attention. ^^

If hitler walked into my house, I'd brush up on my German and have a chat with him. Ask him if he really was a good painter... Ask him what he was thinkign when he tried to invade Russia... That sort of thing. xD

What would you do if you met Bill Gates?

Hold him hostage, until I was given 1 billion dollars into a Swedish bank account, and a jet to Brazil, he'd be released once I was parachuting down into Brazil. No extradition laws, so they can't touch me.

What would you do if Barney the Dinosaur walked into your house?

Hug him... to death!!! >=)

What would you do if a bolt of lightening hit you three times and you gained the unfathomable abilities of a super hero?

Take over the world. It's the only way to save it from itself. (At least that will be my excuse.)

What would you do if you could hide perfectly in any shadow.

Become a theif and hit people over the back of the head with a club.

I play too many computer games...

What would you do if someone asked to you go to a gaming LAN with them?

Depends on the game. But I'd probably say yes.

What would you do if Santa Claus came to your house, and said you were so bad this year he wasn't going to leave you any coal, instead he take all your candy, and movies?

Grab a candy cane from the christmas tree, bite it to a point and stab santa in the heart. Then I'd drag his body to the middle of town and write "No christmas this year, kids!" in his blood over the town hall! That'll teach him to call me bad!! :x

What would you do if the above happened in your town/city?

Banzai: Make sure the windows are well sealed. And if I have to go out, don't jump in any puddles, and have a really good umbrella.

Alice: Let the police deal with it. And if I go out for a walk at night, make sure I have a sharp knife.

What would you do if a hideous monster leaned out of your computer monitor, let out a blood curdling roar, kissed you on the lips, blushed shyly and fled back into the computer?

Tell my fiancee that I was kissed by another man... sort of.

What would you do if you mum left you £/$5 in the morning? ((Running out of ideas... xD))

Save money on dinner and get fat and malnurished.

What would you do if your writing hand turned into a claw?

Sell my soul and become a minion of the evil prince! >=) I'd have nothing better to do... xD

What would you do if whenever you stepped out of your house a bird shat on your head? D=

Paint. ^^

What would you do if your left arm fell off and started running around on it's fingers?

Banzai: Save time and blow up Berlin.

Alice: Grab my machete. The arm will inevitably attempt to kill me, since I kept it locked in slavery for so long. It always happens in horror movies.

What would you do if every time you squashed a bug an Earthquake happened on the other side of the world, maiming and killing thousands?

(...hoping I get it right this time :redface: )

Hire a look-a-like to impersonate me at book signings, and then go audition for Steven King's all-celebrity-author rock-&-roll band, the Rock Bottom Remainders.



What would you do if there were no "Search" function on this forum, and you didn't want to scroll back through all 40 pages of this thread to see whether "What would you do if I sang out of tune?" had already been used?

Do something for 2 minutes and 50 seconds, then plug it in.

What would you do if your hair was made of bombs?

Hope that some other poster would say something like:
"Off to bed with you, Young Man!
...No, Master Banzai, not after you check one more thread - right now this minute.
...Do not make me come over there and press the Power Button."


What would you do if the earth had a creamy, delicious filling?

Become a digger.

What would you do if your fiancee wanted you to make him something to eat but you couldn't be bothered with cooking anything?

Go back and remake these noodles... D=

What would you do if you owned the world's noodles?

What would you do if you owned the world's noodles?Immediately open negotiations with the Marinara and Alfredo cartels.


What would you do if all the parking spaces everywhere in the world were always all taken?

Laugh at people as they futally tried to find a parking space from the safety of my bicycle.

What would you do if your monitor broke and you had to use a 'new' one you found in the spare room?

Have a better monitor. Honestly I have two or three to choose from. And they're all bigger and brighter than my current laptop monitor.

What would you do if all the pores on your face became tiny, tiny mouths that were constantly screaming to be fed and vomiting?

(Thats a really disgusting idea.)

oh my god-you win twisted mind award for sure. I would slather oil on my faces to shut them up. Either way im not going to be popular.

What would you do if you grew a domo on your back and he was always.......what if this.....what if that........im a teacher blah blah blah. hahah jk domo.

Get paid twice as much, because you're now getting two of me not just one. And I'd have very philosophical and interesting discussions, about cryptozoology, politics, history, paranormal things, comics, bizarre medical knowledge, and plot ideas.
Its a perfect situation.

Same question.

Once the batteries run up I wouldn't replace them that's for sure.

What would you do if whole world turned a bright pink color?

Start taking LSD. Or stop taking it, if I had had some earlier.
Either way I'd stop caring about the colour

What would you do if every time you sneezed you sneezed hard enough to dislocate your shoulder?

Buy very good foul weather gear, and hire myself out to cloud-seeders.

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
(Would you stand up and walk out on me?)

Steal a space ship and go float about inspace, think of the fun you could have until the oxygen ran out.

What would you do if you were stranded in space with only 20 minutes of air left?

Ummm never actually watched that show :D
Jump in my tartus and take off.

What would you do if someone cast a spell on you and you turned into Winnie The Pooh Bear?

Ask him to at least recite some of his poetry for me and then tell him if he wants to stalk me that is fine as long as he can give me some pointers with my poetry. Then I would freak out a bit after realising that I was being stalked by a ghost.........

What would you do if you were being chased after by the cookie monster who was yelling out he is going to eat you cause you smell like cookies?

Burn the internet, all of it. Fire solves everything.

What would you do if the internet started burning?

Very quickly walk away.....well no I would actually try and save it cause I would not be able to walk away, I'd probably get dragged away licking and screaming lol

What would you do if your computer got up and ran away?

Chase it. Do you know how much I paid for this thing???


What would you do if you awoke one morning from uneasy dreams and found yourself transformed in your bed into a monstrous vermin?

Scream and try to run away from myself...I would do that too...lol

What would you do if you suddenly received a letter in the mail and when you opened it a little green person jumpe out and bit you ont he nose, laughed and then took over your life?

Good luck with that. I'm big and mean, he's little and dumb. I can take him.

What would you do if you were constantly being swarmed by flies, to the point that if you were in a sealed purified room, that was laced with DDT, within an hour the white walls of the room are black from flies?

Go have a shower cause obviously I had fallen into something that was pretty darn smelly....ewww

What would you do?

get some raid. Take a shower.

what would you do if your eyes started roliing around in your head and you couldnt stop them

Submit myself for research

What would you do if you came face to face with someone that wsa impersonating you?

Ask them why they'd want to bother with that?

What would you do if you kept procrastinating.

get up of my butt and turn on some music and get on with my day.

what would you do if the govt ruined the economy and we went through a depression

Hmmm....Either accidentally-on-purpose mix up my "Sugar" canister with my "Rat Poison" canister; or else tell him I was fresh out, but if he wouldn't mind coming in and waiting a bit, I was sure my friends at hoemland Security wouldn't mind bringing some by.
(There's a million bucks in it, you know :))



What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in a position to kill a known criminal, who was indisputably guilty of many murders and had a price on his head?
Could you really pull the trigger (or serve up the rat poison)?

Relax and laugh at the shops' massive financial losses

What would you do if you discovered that a killer asteroid was due to collide with earth in a week's time?

do fun amazing things. calulate where its going to hit on the earth and migrate to teh oppisite side.Hopefully survive because im so far away

what woud you do if your hair became a spider web with like 8 spiders in it and if you tryied to get them out you would break the web which would leave you completely bald....

buy myselfs lot of cool looking wigs :)

What would you do if everything you touched turned pure gold?

(I like your thinking Banzai)

I'd put a blood tax on the government. Every day they're in power is another day I keep trying to overthrow them.

What would you do if your body was constantly on fire, burning everything around you but you only felt a little hot?

Take up swimming with a passion. I live right beside Lake Superior, swimming year round wouldn't be a problem.

What would you do if you could only speak in a whisper, and you faded in colour so people found it hard to see you?

(Got them here in Canada, and the US.)
Grab the purse that the gay one uses, and beat the other teletubby's to death. Then, attempt to destroy the sun. I don't like the way it looks at me.

What would you do if you ended up in 12th century London, with just the clothes on your back?

Engineer things so that I became the King of England. Just have to make sure Lady Jane Gray doesn't get executed as a traitor and my family would be in the line of succession. After that it would just take a lot of work.

What would you do if you controlled an army of flesh eating zombies?

Hope they are really pretty looking, and they aren't into fetishes, unlike the Greys. Because I'm really not into that.

What would you do if the Earth blew up, and you lived on one of the few remaining bits that still holds a post-apocalyptic form of life?

Pet Elephant. A giraffe can't really do too much, but an elephant can be put to work, either as a ride, or for cheap manual labour.

What would you do if a video of you being really, really stupid, came out on the net and became very popular, like the Star Wars Kid? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPPj6viIBmU

Punch them until they smartened up and got back together.

What would you do if you could see all the microscopic creatures and things that cover the world like a thin coating of slim, watching as they swarm over the food your eating, growing on you as you sweat, slowly digesting your flaking skin, and migrating from the chair your currently sitting on to your nice warm flesh?

Listen to really funny music, and be really clumsy. Probably crash a lot of cars to. I just hope I never have to put out a fire or catch a thief, all the accidents that happen in black and white look painful.

What would you do if you could only talk in childish nursery rhymes?

Grab the guns. They have get one warning. The first elf guy I see, falls down screaming, thats the warning.

What would you do if snufflupagus (Sesame St.), appeared behind you and asked to be your friend?

(You're really making me look for stuff today.)
I'd be very disappointed. The guy has really only done commercials for his acting career. He's had a few minor roles in poor tv shows, and those commercials. Thats it. Pathetic.
Kind of like this guy from Canadian Tire http://everything2.com/index.pl?node=Canadian%20Tire%20Guy
Sorry couldn't find any commercials with him and his wife.

What would you do if you discovered Lizard Men from the center of the Earth were working with the Grey Aliens to kidnap humans, take their sperm and eggs, to mix them with Bigfoot DNA making hybrids, that would eventually replace the human race, and act as slaves for the Illuminati, under a One World Government, run by the spiritual incarnation of the Babylonian God Enki, with his sidekick Cthulu?

Cry. Yell. Throw a screaming fit in the bookshop and get arrested.
Then, once I'd calmed down, sit in my jail cell and start working on the sequel.


What would you do if you had the hot, hot hots for a happily married colleague?

Never eat dinner at his house again.

What would you do if your eyes opened a doorway to a shadowy dimension of people hating monsters that slowly drained the life out of everything they touched, but since your eyes were the doorway they didn't touch you, planning on eating you at the very end?

Bite the vampire back. It works when my cat bites my hand.


What would you do if a werewolf bit you?

Stick a silver cross in it's mouth, jump on it's back and hold it's mouth closed, Steve Irwin style. When the beast is dead my curse shall be lifted! =D

What would you do if you had a massive pizza craving and only had £40 to last you a month?

1) Invest in flour, yeast, salt, tomato paste, mozarella & romano cheese, etc.; find a recipe on the net; and pretend I was Italian, or

B) Hang around the local pizza shop flirting like mad (this one might have some undesireable side effects :) )


What would you do if your father gave you a snake when you asked for fish?

Give him a huge hug because I've always wanted a snake! Coily Colin, yay!

I decided to buy the pizza from the shop... Now I have £30. xD

Um... What would you do if you had £30 to last you a month?

Eat the snake

What would you do if your father was a snake?

Slap you for being so forward! *Tut tut*

Um... What would you do if you had £30 to last you a month?
The same I did when I had slightly less than that after paying rent. Hope my bills are up to date, buy some flour, margarine, yeast, and cheap meat. And a some canned fruit to ward of scurvy. (University was great)

What would you do if Dracula phoned you up and told you, you were going to be hosting a party for his friends, and willing refreshments would be required?

Set up a dictatorship making me President for life. Proceed to make the world a better place.

What would you do if you had to go all the way back to grade one, due to a bureaucratic error?

(No clue, whatever comes after kindergarten)

Eat the monkey. Call the Canadian government.

What would you do if you were kidnapped, hog-tied, had your butt painted purple, with big googly eyes glued onto the side of your butt, and paraded down the street during the biggest parade your country has?

Buy dark glasses. Very dark glasses.

What would you do if you needed to go to the bathroom, but your butt seemed to be fused with the computer chair, and you didn't really want to stop typing because you've become like Pavlov's dog and find comfort in typing nonsense, never stopping or using proper grammar, but typing away even as you needed to pee?

Pee in my pants and keep typing. It'll try after a while then everything will be fine.

What would you do if you had a million eyes?

Tell him I'm Canadian, and aside from standing up to Cuba, he really wasn't a very good president so he can stay in Hell.

Hope I can close my eyes. Seeing from my butt as I go to the bathroom would suck. Although it would make sex more interesting.

What would you do if up became down?

walk on the ceiling all day.

What would you do if had to walk on your head all day?

Slap him in the face every chance i got.

What would you do if everything looked like pizza?

Eat extremely well. As long as they tasted like pizza to.

What would you do if all you could drink was cheap vodka?

Become even more insane and play word games all day.

What would do if all you can eat was peas?

Take vitamin supplements so I don't die. And find all kinds of flavourings to make peas better.

What would you do if you could only remember things for 3 minutes, but remembered basic things like talking, driving, etc?

Lead a life blissful with ignorance :)


What would you do if you couldn't find a pizza anywhere for less the $US 20.00?

Make my own. I usually do anyways.

What would you do if air cost twenty dollars US, a week to breathe?

pay it.....because if you dont you die. would suck to be poor.

what would you do if your mom became your dad, and your dad your mom. As in the both got sex changes and tried to take over each others roles

Time to leave home for a while, until things settle down.

What would you do if every time you walked outside all the pebbles within a ten foot radius jumped up and down trying to hit you?

Sue God & the apostles for misappropriating the rights.


What would you do if, upon first contact with sentient aliens, it turned out that all they wanted to do was swap recipes for cheesecake?

Contemplate Suicide

What Would you do if you woke up very poor dressed in rags and living on the street stinking of Booze?

Buy new ones lol

What would you do if you woke up in a shopping mall naked.

Well I would be a ghost so I would go see what it is like to go through walls.

What would you do if you were dumped in the middle of a football field on grand final day?

laugh

what would you do if you were in a prision and innocent?

Get a good lawyer and make sure they get me out

What would you do if you woke up paralysed?

just lay there.

what would you do if world war 3 just startesd this minute?

mug him

probably try and get some person who is really good at calculus to figure it out for me and then prove that Hulls Raven isn't batman after all. :D:D

what would you do if the marshmallow man sat on your head?

Since he's like fifty feet of marshmallowy goodness, get crushed to death.

What would you do if you woke up to singing, and found that the microbes on your body were holding a really loud rock concert?

Get ziggy with it.

Same question.

wonder who spiked my last drink

what would you do if the walls were closing in on you and you could not get out of the room?

They're cheap plaster, I know I helped fix them. As they're closing, I'd hit the walls to make sure I didn't hit a stud and just break my way out.

Same question.

pull out the chainsaw that is convieniently sitting right next to me and cut my way out :D

what would you do if you were turned into a slug?

well i would live like a dinosaur and ya...i dont know how else to answer that one lol

what would you do if your feet were backwards?

Have a good drink.

What would you do if you woke up in bed naked next to your granny who was also naked.

Cry Havoc Scream freedom (Strange Fruit)

What would you do if you woke up naked in bed with your Dog and your arse was very sore?

Wish him the joy of it. (It's a pretty lousy street.)



What would you do if you lived in a pretty crappy apartment on a pretty lousy street; but hated, hated, *hated* the process of moving?

my two front teeth



what would you do if you lost all your limbs?

Beat him to death with my arms. Then call a doctor to reattach my legs.

What would you do if your most hated enemy ran into your house screaming that the leprechauns were after him, and than a very tiny Irishman wearing a lot of green, smoking a pipe, and holding a shillelagh knocked on your door?

give them back they're gold


if you had a choice to live now, or in the 1400's what would you do?

Buy a katana and fight back.

What would you do if they killed off Homer Simpson Forever and Made it that Lenny marriad Marge Simpson

Laugh my ass off. And wait for the fireworks.

What would you do if your brain was put into Homer Simpson's head?

Burn the world in fire and nuke it from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.
(Gaming references time.)

What would you do if you were the Anti-Christ?

Save a lot of money on grocery bills.

What would you do if you had to keep your feet immersed in water to breathe?

Get a good nights sleep, as soon as I remove the annoying owner.

What would you do if Micheal Myers from the horror series Halloween was stalking you? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_(film)

Raise my foot and stomp on Tom Cruise. Beat the others senseless with a bat.

What would you do if Jesus gave you a wedgie?

Get really itchy. Concrete burns the skin when its wet.
Oh yeah I'd also curse myself for letting someone bury me up to my neck in concrete, and swear vengeance on the perpetrator.

What would you do if the Devil gave you a wedgie?

Wait around to see if its better then today. If it isn't go back to sleep.

What would you do if Santa Claus gave you a wedgie?
(No I'm not running out of ideas, I'm just thinking about wedgies.)

Give you one right back. And probably steal your shirt while I'm at it.

What would you do if you suddenly found yourself wearing clothes for the opposite sex while at work?

Hmmmm Muahahahaha Lets just say I would be very bloody rich.


What would you do if you fell madly in love with your Granny

Kill all the jews

Same Question

Rule the world with an iron fist, making it a better place.

What would you do if all the religions collapsed leaving the world nihilistic?

Nothing. I dont follow any religion now so nothing for me would change. If people have a problem with it-then they can figure it out.

What would you do if your stomach actually growled. Especially at really important people.

laugh everytime it did lol

what woud you do if you were given a basket full of easter eggs, and when you looked closer at them aftr the delverer disappeared you had actualy discovered they were all hand grenades coverd in chocolate?

Send a very nice thank you to the sender, and head into the woods to see if they work. Moose hunting will never the same again.
If the pins were pulled though, I'd react differently, then I'd be diving for cover. And looking for blood.

You never posted a question Domoviye :D:D

but love the response lol

What would you do if the sun never rose again and we all lived in eternal darkness?

(Thought I forgot something.)

Never tan again. I'd also move to somewhere in Europe. Since the sun never rises, it would have stopped somewhere around there. So I would go live where its always evening.

What would you do if you had one long fart that lasted as long as you lived?

Get a job blowing up ballons.

What would you do if you had to pay $100 every time you moved your body?