Bragging

[Yarnillah]

Okay, this is a game I like to play when I really want a laugh, or when I want to work on my bragging skills. Haha. So, what you've go to do, is "top" what the person who has posted before you has said. For example: Player A could say, "Yesterday, I saw a daisy crying." Then Player B could say, "Well I saw a dandeline comforting that daisy." You see how ridiculous it can be?? Let's just have fun with it :p

[Yarnillah]

I can dance on water

[sidtvicious]

I can dance on water and play the bagpipes at the same time.

[Yarnillah]

I taught you how to play the bagpipes

[sidtvicious]

I taught you how to play the lute, which is a far more superior instrument.

[Yarnillah]

I knew how to play the piano before you taught me the lute

[DragonGrim]

Who gave music to humanity? Me, of course!

[Delphinus]

I gave fire to humanity. Zeus got really pissed off though.

[Yarnillah]

I told humanity that water puts out the fire

[LadyLazarus]

I introduced Hydrogen to oxygen. Get me.

[Yarnillah]

I created the two gases so you could introduce them :p

[DragonGrim]

I gave you Beano when you were having your gas problem.

[ChimmyBear]

I released my gas problem on you. :redface: :p

[DragonGrim]

Yeah, but it was pretty awesome of me that I didn’t rat you out to all those other people who were on that elevator. After all, you were on your way to a job interview, and it wouldn’t have seemed professional

[ChimmyBear]

Yeah...too bad I beat you out of the job. ;)

[DragonGrim]

Heck, I knew you needed that position as subordinate janitor, so I spent the whole interview digging food out of my teeth. That’s me, the nice guy

[ChimmyBear]

My giving heart felt sorry for you when you asked me if I would pay you under the table as a floor sweeper. That's why I gave you a brand new push broom along with the "ultra deluxe dental care gift basket". :p

[DragonGrim]

who was it that got the bong out of your hand and got you out of the door to get the job in the first place? It was me.

[m5roberts]

Well I built the door(way). Without me, you'd spend a lot of time walking into walls.

[DragonGrim]

I gave you the hammer, the nails, and the pep talk to get you motivated enough to build a doorway

[m5roberts]

I picked on you relentlessly when you were a child, which inspired you to go into motivational speaking. you're welcome...

[Evelyanin]

I was the doctor who saved your life when you were a baby. You in turn inspired someone to be a motivational speaker, who in turn motivated a terrorist to change his ways. This terrorist was going to release a virus which would wipe out the earth's population. So really, the world was saved because I saved one small little baby. No need to thank me.

[m5roberts]

I was the one who GAVE the virus to the terrorist, thus ensuring your fate. Without me being so villainous, you saving me as a baby only to later thwart my evil ploy would not have made you a hero. You'd just be someone who let a baby die... So you're welcome.

[SurrealOdyssey]

When I saw that you were sick as a baby, I used my omniscient abilities to choose the doctor who would save your life, and snatched you and flew you there because I can fly. I punched through the hospital wall, threw you into the doctor's arms just in time, payed for the rebuilding of the hosiptal , donated an extra 1 million dollars to that hospital and every starving country in Africa, and still had time to do 100 push ups and circumnavigate the globe twice before sunset.

[CharlieVer]

It took you two days to circumnavigate the globe?

I can circle the galaxy in ten seconds... and, I found the doctor on another planet that grants him immortality. I teleported him there instantly. The teleportation process caused Africa to break in half, but I sewed it back together so fast, nobody noticed the breakage.

[DragonGrim]

Who was it, Charlie, who sent you a get-well-soon-card while you were laying in that hospital bed, in a coma, having those delusions? I am that nice of a guy who would send a card. It cost almost two bucks, btw.

[CharlieVer]

(I thought we're supposed to top the person above, not dispute their claims as delusions.)

For your get well card, I sent it to you as a singing telegram... and I hired the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir to sing it.

[DragonGrim]

(well, I think the rules can be interpreted loosely. It’s kinda how the thread has been going. After all, one could only top someone a certain amount of times before he/she is God)

I hired the New York Philharmonic Orchestra to play Silent Night outside your house during Christmas. And I paid them with peanuts

[CharlieVer]

(You're God? Oh yeah, well I created God! In the mega-universe where Gods are created though, I'm just a little tiny guy who looks just like Charlie Brown. There, the balance of the board has been reset, and yet, it was still a topper. ;) )

I resurrected Elvis to sing "Blue Christmas" for you, and paid him with a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

[Cogito]

I created Elvis from a socially awkward, insecure young auto mechanic, and handcrafted his first guitar.

[CharlieVer]

I taught him how to air guitar so well, a crowded stadium can hear the music without loudspeakers.

[DragonGrim]

Oh yeah, I gave him Guitar Hero, which really honed his skills

[CharlieVer]

I invented Guitar Hero back in 1938, and made the instructions an insert to Action Comics #1 with the blurb, "Superman: A Real Guitar Hero."

A Near Mint Copy of the comic, with the instructions insert intact, is worth $2 million, IF you can find one.

[Evelyanin]

Instructions? Don't make me laugh. I don't even need instructions. I am capable of opening a child proof medicine container without the instructions. Beat that.

[becca]

I can open a child proof medicine container with my teeth, while doing a cart wheel.

[CharlieVer]

I can open a child proof container with MY MIND, while I take the place of an ACTUAL cart's wheel as the cart rides down a very steep hill!

In fact, never mind child proof containers. I can open Fort Knox with my pinky finger, and get all the gold out an hour before anyone notices the door is open.

[becca]

I can transfer all the gold from Fort Knox into my garage using only thought. While I'm getting it on, opening child proof containers with my toes, singing Nirvana songs backwards.

[CharlieVer]

I can fit all of Earth's Fords, Chrysler's and Toyota's in my garage, AND, I can fit my garage in my pocket. I was actually a member of Nirvana, until they kicked me out and stole all my great ideas.

[becca]

I keep all the spare Air Craft Carriers in a thimble that I carry between my breasts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I gave birth to all the memebers of Nirvana, even though they are older than me, and I'm the one that told them to kick you out.

[Evelyanin]

I invented the thimble! My genius saved many poor fingers from being poketified. I also invented a new word.

[becca]

I invented all launguage. I control how and when people speak. I control everyones thoughts and minds.

[CharlieVer]

I taught a Manderine orange how to speak Manderine Chinese.

[SurrealOdyssey]

I invented Becca and control HER thoughts and mind.

That Mandarin orange was a magical device placed there by myself, designed to absorb your brainpower and life essence. Thanks for your brainpower and life essence, sucker. That's another one to tick off the list.

[Xeno]

I invented the Daleks. They don't need brainpower or life essence. They don't even need you alive.

I win. :cool:

(The correct response to this is something about stairs)

[SurrealOdyssey]

Thanks for that, with that information I just lifted a gigiantic staircase off the ground with my unmatched brute strength and used it to strike all of your beloved Daleks over the head, rendering them unconcious. I then proceeded to steal their life essence and brainpower, giving me the ability to not need brainpower and life essence. Now I have it all.

[Cogito]

I created Gallifrey and the Timelords to quell the scourge from Skaro.

[SurrealOdyssey]

Snap, Cogito, we posted about the same time. Only I won, as I always do, because of my superspeed abilities.

[Xeno]

I created Gallifrey and the Timelords to quell the scourge from Skaro.

We Daleks caused the destruction of the Time Lords! And we survived! :mad:


Snap, Cogito, we posted about the same time. Only I won, as I always do, because of my superspeed abilities.

I was the fastest sperm. :cool:

[Cogito]

It's not over yet. The dustbins will yet fall to the Timelords. I planned it that way.

[CharlieVer]

I invented dust.

I needed somewhere to put it, so then I invented bins.

[Xeno]

I invented atoms.

Somehow...

[CharlieVer]

That's nothing. The Atom is the SMALLEST member of the Justice League of America, one of the least of the super heroes. I invented Superman, Batman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, even the oddball ones like Zatanna, Elongated Man and Red Tornado. So you created a shrinking super hero? I invented ALL the rest of them.

[m5roberts]

I invented evil so you super heroes could get jobs.

[Wreybies]

I'm the guy who was contracted to build the Justice League headquarters. I have all the plans still in my possession.

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/hall-of-justice.jpg

Feel free to interject any implied threat to the superheroes. :D

[CharlieVer]

I invented both the Batcave and the Batmobile.

http://superherouniverse.com/superheroes/batman/images/batcave60s.jpg

I upgraded the car multiple times.

Early:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2kjisMm3M9Y/SJnaoIBSPrI/AAAAAAAAEZI/8k8jBZWo-hg/s400/homemade+1940s+batmobile.jpg

Later:

http://cache.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2007/12/1995-batman-forever-batmobile_54.jpg

[DragonGrim]

Of yeah, I gave a little cave mouse wings, hence the origin of the bat.

[CharlieVer]

That's nothing. I taught man how to fly.

I gave the Wright Brothers the design for their airplane, and when they were ready to give up, I said, "It'll fly, Orville!"

I also taught Orville Redenbacher to make popcorn, but that's another story...

[DragonGrim]

I gave the Wright brothers Red Bull, which had a lot more to do with them flying than any design

[CharlieVer]

I stayed up all night with Red Bull and the Wright Brothers and got them smashed to celebrate the New Year!

We could get away with it, because there were no Air Traffic Controllers, nor Air Traffic, back then.

Today, however, everybody: Don't drink and fly. Be safe... and...

Happy New Year!

[SurrealOdyssey]

While you were partying with the Wright brothers all night, I was saving the universe from destruction by Doc PC Supervillain. He was going to blow it up, but then I threw my can of Red Bull (which is bigger than yours) at his face and punched him to the next galaxy.

New Year is only here because of me.

[CharlieVer]

I actually helped elderly Father Time 2009 deliver the New Year Baby 2010, and if I hadn't, old man 2009 would have died and new baby 2010 would have never been born, and the entire universe would have come to an end!

Oh, and I wasn't drinking a can of Red Bull. I was drinking--with a Red Bull. An actual Red Bull, an animal. There are very few people tough enough to hobnob with actual Red Bulls, but I'm one of them. And that's no Bull!

[DragonGrim]

That’s nothing, I drink elephants. Some pink

[CharlieVer]

I can juggle 16 elephants, and then, throw in an apple and juggle and eat the apple while juggling the elephants.

[Cogito]

I juggle worlds with the power of my mind alone.

[CharlieVer]

I don't need mind power. I can get other people to juggle worlds for me while I toast marshmallows.

[DragonGrim]

I toast marshmallow worlds

[CharlieVer]

People say I give the best toasts of anyone on the planet. Wherever I go, masses of people rush at me, thrusting their glasses into my hand, waiting to hear me utter the words that, if only they raise their glass, will bring tears of joy to their eyes and change their lives forever.

[DragonGrim]

Yeah, but I got all those people so toasted on drugged drinking water that they were overly fascinated by your incredible toasts.

[Ashleigh]

Speaking of toast; t'was I that created the toaster.

[DragonGrim]

I invented sliced bread, which I suggested you put in the toaster. You wanted to make it a test for people to put their hand in (Dune)

[x_raichelle_x]

I'm the best thing since sliced bread =D
x

[LadyLazarus]

I'm better than sliced bread could ever hope to be.

[CharlieVer]

I must quote one of my favorite philosophers before continuing...


The greatest thing since sliced bread. So this is it? A couple thousand years…sliced bread? What about the Pyramids? The Panama Canal? The Great Wall of China? Even a lava lamp, to me, is greater than sliced bread. What's so great about sliced bread? You got a knife, you got a load of bread. Slice the farggin' thing!! And get on with your life.

Thus, I shall move us up a step.

I built the Great Wall of China, and the Pyramids, and those things are, indeed, greater, than sliced bread.

[SurrealOdyssey]

I designed all those things and made you build them.

[CharlieVer]

I'm so humble, I never want to take credit for my marvelous creations. That's why I hypnotize others into thinking they designed what I designed, and into thinking they made me build them. It's only because I care so much about others. The only reason I'm posting this is so that others will mistakenly think I'm lying, and then they'll realize how honest they themselves are, and it will bring them great happiness. That's how much I care about others.

(I'm very proud of how humble I am. ;) )

[DragonGrim]

I’m Buddha humble. In fact I coined the word.

[CharlieVer]

While Jesus was saying, "Take the least chair," and Buddha was sitting on the floor, I was standing outside in the mud and rain as the wind blew around me. I then stepped aside, so that an ant could pass. Then, I glowed in a bright light and then a great voice from above said, "You are truly more humble than any in all history have been. For the least shall be the greatest and the greatest shall be the least, so for every football pulled away by Lucy, you shall be the greatest football kicker of them all."

[Spree]

I too was standing in the rain and mud. As you moved
aside to let the ant pass, I removed my jacket allowing
the ant to pass over puddles safely. I don't remember
the praise the Great Voice gave me, for my genuine
humility does not regard such.

[CharlieVer]

I always regard voices. I'm a terrific listener. My ears are open to everybody. I even listen to the voices in my head. If you need a listener, I'll listen. I once listened to Yoko Ono sing for 20 straight hours, and enjoyed it. I even listen to every speech given at the House of Representatives on C-Span.

[DragonGrim]

Oh yeah? I’m the only human being to ever listen to you, and it was for nearly a whole sentence. Now that’s impressive.

[CharlieVer]

Oh yeah? I’m the only human being to ever listen to you, and it was for nearly a whole sentence. Now that’s impressive.

Nobody ever listened to you, but I listened to your MOMMA.
Now THAT's impressive.

[DragonGrim]

I told the first yo-momma joke

[CharlieVer]

I told yo mamma jokes before Eve was created. Adam said, "What the heck is a mamma," I told him, "You'll find out."

Also, I told the very first joke.

Plus, I told the funniest joke. I can't tell it any more because everyone who hears it laughs until they die.

[DragonGrim]

I led Death to our world so that people could die from your jokes!

[CharlieVer]

I used my resurrection power to bring them all back again. Sent Death scrambling. Death is afraid of me now.

[SurrealOdyssey]

I did more then send Death scrambling. I made Death into scrambled eggs, the largest and most delicious meal of scrambled eggs of all time, and served it to one million guests in the greatest dinner party of all time.

[Cacaw]

I was all of those guests.

[becca]

I was the first person to ever have a guest and made the biggest most delicious meal ever known on planet Earth. They were so happy they blessed me with all the blessing that ever will and ever will be.

[CharlieVer]

My dinner parties are so popular, that President Obama, Vice President Biden and the cabinet, Bill and Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, and in fact, all the former Presidents and Vice Presidents of both parties (and independents) and Presidential candidates, even the dead Presidents, and all members of Congress, as well as all the most famous celebrities, want to pay me $10,000 a plate to come to one of my functions, and they think that's way too cheap. If I opened my door to everyone who wanted to come, the eastern seaboard would tip over and everyone would slide off, simply because of the increased weight on this side of the continent. And that's when I serve grilled cheese sandwiches. If I serve anything better, it'll be a real stampede!

[becca]

I entertain all the dignataries of the world on the moon whenever I have a banquet. All I serve is water and they pay me a million dollars an ounce.

[CharlieVer]

Sounds impressive until you remember that water is scarce on the moon.

I'm so charming and persuasive, dignitaries offer to give me all their money and all their land, in exchange for an unflavored snow-cone when I hold my functions in Alaska. And I make them go outside and get it for themselves.

[becca]

I secretly control all the politic of all the world, not to meantion the universe.

[CharlieVer]

I secretly control you. :p

[DragonGrim]

And I control you, and remain uncontrolled myself

[CharlieVer]

I control both CONTROL and CHAOS.

I can contact Maxwell Smart at any time, with any shoe.

[DragonGrim]

I know Lady Luck personally, and asked her to give Max the dumb luck to thwart Chaos every time

[CharlieVer]

I did the Luck family tree. I'm actually best friends with the entire Luck family. Lady Luck, Lord Luck, Little Luck Jr., Aunt Millie Luck, Uncle Marty Luck. Using time travel, I've actually known and befriended every Luck there ever was and every will be. I'm the Luckiest man alive!

[becca]

I married Fate and now control what will happen to everyone everywhere by weither I cut him off for a week or not. He will do anything to anyone just to bed me. ;)

[SurrealOdyssey]

I hate to break it to you, but I'm having an affair with your beloved Fate, as well as Lord Luck and Mr Destiny.

[CharlieVer]

In the words of George McFly, "I am your Density."

[becca]

Density? I control all matter that ever excisted and ever will exsist.

[CharlieVer]

I control all batter that ever existed or will exist. I make cakes rise and I make them fall. I decide when the little bubbles will appear on pancakes.

And when I say all batter, I mean all batter. I even control the person who swings the bats in the baseball games, since they are also batters... and no matter who the pitcher is, I decide if it will be a strike, a hit or a foul, and just where the ball will go. I was the one who kept the Red Sox from winning all those years, and I was the one who finally gave them a break.

[becca]

Break? I control all objects that ever where. I break what I want to break and I leave whole whatever I want left whole.

I can also fix any hole or break in any object.

[CharlieVer]

I once broke into Fort Knox, replaced all their gold bars with cheese, then broke into the White House, replaced the desk in the Oval Office with the gold bars, then broke into Fidel Castro's bedroom, replaced his desk with the desk from the Oval Office, and then broke into Riker's Island, left Fidel Castro's desk and took a cheese sandwich... all, just to prove I could do it.

[becca]

I investigated and caught you doing all your shananigins. I stopped them from arresting you just because I was amused at your childish behavior. Besides, I was busy rearraning the planets and making them spin in the opposite direction. Oh, did I meantion I did this while I was sleeping?

[DragonGrim]

Who invented the planet spinner universal remote? It was me!

[becca]

Who REALLY invented the remote. I let the plan fall into your hands so that you could be a test subject for my genius. I believed it was radio active, and you have proven it by turning into a dragon. Fascinating. I think I will have to tweak the next remote.

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

Hah! I am such pure awesomeness, I dont need a remote. I just think it and it is so.

Also: I taught Zeus how the whole lightning thing works. so yeah. What now?

[Snazzy_Boots_7]

I gave birth to you all, out of my brain. Beat that.

[CharlieVer]

I invented brains.

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

and i gave you the concept of brains.

[CharlieVer]

I patented the concept you gave me for free, sold the rights and became the universe's first bazillionaire. Then I used the money to cure all brain disease because I saw the flaws in your concept.

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

AHA! The Patent system was my idea!

[CharlieVer]

It may have been your idea, but unfortunately for you, you didn't patent the patent system, for which I hold the patent.

In fact, I have the patent to everything. I also own stock in 51% of the universe, making me ruler of all the universe.

[Nackl of Gilmed]

Ha! You think there's only one universe out there?

I eat three universes for breakfast every day, on a nice thick slice of Universe toast.

[becca]

I gather the Universes for your breakfast and cook it in pans of my own design that are the only ones that can cook such things. I get the Universes out of my Universe garden. I have so many Universes I can't even count them all. But then again, I did create all the seeds. :p

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

...And i own another 52% stock in the BIGGER universe(?), and i automatically win cause i am wearing a dragon shirt. Your argument is invalid. Good Day!

[DragonGrim]

I created the infinite continuum of universes, and then made it so they all end in 2012 ADD (after the death of DragonGrim)

[CharlieVer]

I took a time machine to the future and killed Dragon Grim in the year 2012. Then I created new universes, and set them to be retroactive so that they exist now. They're unaffected by Dragon Grim's death. I then convinced my time-traveling self from the past to be nice and let Dragon Grim live, which he will, until 2065, thus sparing his universes and my universes.

The paradox of DragonGrim both dying and not dying caused a thousand portals to spring up into universes where lovely flowers exist and all is bright and beautiful, and no being can harm the universes.

I added enough spice to my universes, by the way, so that no being could possibly eat them without getting terrible indigestion, and then being under my control, due to the hypnotic power of the spice. Then they would explode, creating a thousand more universes. I put the universes under Charlie Law, by which all wearing dragon shirts will be subject to death.

And I own infinity (to the power of infinity) percent of all the stock in those universes, in a universal stock market that can never go down.

And I did all this while juggling sixteen operating chainsaws and a dozen unbroken eggs.

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

I sabotaged your time machine (which is useless to me because I am omnipotent), so you will die and I inherit the stock market, and i will eat your multiple-universe-pepper-thingy-that-just-might-give-me-terrible-indigestion.

And all of this wearing a dragon shirt and a blindfold, throwing knives. at 10 times light speed. Because F U Einstein and your special relativity theory.

[RisingShadows]

Well, I could do all of that wearing 2 dragon shirts, 3 blindfolds and 1,990,990 throwing knives - and guess what? I (cough, cough) am not even confused (cough, cough).

[CharlieVer]

I have some cough medicine that can cure that cough for you.

My cough medicine is the best. Always works. :)

[DragonGrim]

I opened the gate that Pestilence rode through. The horseman spread plague after plague, ensuring your cough medicine would sell volumes.

[CharlieVer]

My horseman is an ACTUAL horseman.

HE has the torso of a man and the legs of a horse!

[ChimmyBear]

I am a Sagittarius by birth...so that officially makes me a Horseman....;)

[CharlieVer]

I'm a Gemini on the cusp of Taurus. I'm two men riding on a bull... much more formidable than a mere horseman... :)

[becca]

I'm Aquarius. Water. Nothing can live without water. So, you would all die without me. Hence I control life and exsitence!

[DragonGrim]

I’m the cosmic dump truck that spilled toxic waste into the water

[CharlieVer]

::Whew!!::

It's a good thing that my superior expertise in chemistry and microbiology has found a way to transform all toxic wastes into harmless biproducts that are actually good for the environment and create a perpetual clean energy source for the planet. And it's free!

[becca]

I invented free. Everything cost something or was imprisoned before I came along.

[CharlieVer]

Yes... um, becca distributed my formula, before playing leapfrog on this board.
Great teamwork!

[becca]

I create all confusion to work against others. I control everyone's mind that way.

[CharlieVer]

Only thinks she's controlled people's minds because I planted that thought in her mind. That's how I knew she was going to post that...

[becca]

I created Charlie. I make him do everything he does. Because he is actually a robot controled by me.

[CharlieVer]

I went back in time and created becca before she created me, causing a time paradox that will create an infinite number of beccas and an infinite number of me, plus one, which is the me me that's describing this.

[becca]

I invented the time machine and went back in time before you were born and planted a mind control device in your little baby brain, so I could control you your whole life.

[CharlieVer]

I would never plant a mind control device on anyone.

I'm too good a person to do something like that. :cool:

[Cogito]

I made you say that. I even made you believe it.

[CharlieVer]

I'm too good to argue with you about that. :)

[becca]

I'm too good to even say something about how you aren't good and are just pretending so you appear good to other good people.

[CharlieVer]

I'm so nice, I shined everyone's shoes, even the ones in their closets!

[becca]

I'm so nice I bought everyone lunch at Red Lobster.

[CharlieVer]

That was very nice... except that a lot of people don't like seafood, and a lot of other people are religiously or culturally opposed to eating shellfish.

I bought everyone the dinner of their choice, wherever they are comfortable going, whatever they are comfortable eating. And I cooked it (superbly, I might add), I served it to them, and then I cleaned up afterward.

[becca]

I taught you to cook, let you work at my restaraunts and provided all the places that all those people ate at. Without me, none of them would have had food, and you would have had no where to cook.

[CharlieVer]

You appeared on my TV show, "Hell's Kitchen." I made you take off your jacket. You did make it to the top 3, however!

[becca]

I owned the tv station.

[CharlieVer]

I owned the syndicate that owned the TV station... and I control the satellite that broadcasts it.

[writewizard]

I owned the syndicate that owned the TV station... and I control the satellite that broadcasts it.

I brought the syndicate, the TV station and the satellite, and I still have enough money left over to buy you breakfast. :p

[CharlieVer]

Selling you those things allowed me to buy all food and water production on the entire earth. I used my profit from that investment to buy all the air. You want to eat, drink, or breathe, you have to come to me!

[becca]

I bought you when you were a baby, and own you. So I own everything you own. You are my pet minion.

[CharlieVer]

I led the revolution in opposing the ownership of people by people.

Then I wrote the Emancipation Proclamation and the Gettysburg Address, which I gave to Abe Lincoln and gave him pointers on reading.
Then I lead the Union Army to victory.

Thus, your tyrannical ownership of me ended, becca!
But don't worry. I still like you. :)

[becca]

I funded your revolution. Giving you the means for freedom.

[CharlieVer]

During that period, I headed the means and ways committee, which means that I had all the means and all the ways. Still, through it all, I was not mean. Nor was I away.

[becca]

I established the committee, and appointed you because I know your abilities. Also, because I'm the nicest most loveable person in the world.

[writewizard]

I paid for the committee, picked you to run the committee, and I gave you a hug, and a million-dollar bonus.

[CharlieVer]

I invented hugs. And kisses. And Hershey's.

I also invented the number "million," back in the days when nobody had ever tried to count that high.

[writewizard]

I own the company which makes hershey's, I gave YOU the first hug, I invented the number TRILLION, and invented the million-dollar bill... And was nice enough to give EVERYONE on the forums one.

[CharlieVer]

Take a look at your million dollar bills, folks! That's my face!

...I just use the Charlie Brown avatars out of humility...

Not only did I invent chocolate, I actually own the parent company that owns Hersheys... and all the other companies... and the printing presses that make the money...

I slipped something into the chocolate that is going to give everyone on the forum good health, long life and prosperity, for as long as you want those things... even if you didn't eat the chocolate... and everyone not on the forums too! They say I'm the nicest person in the galaxy, but I'm too humble to admit to something so grand... I'm proud to be so humble.

Oh, and by the way, I invented the number "googolplex."

For those who don't know, a googol is a 1 with 100 zeros after it and a googolplex is 10 to the power of a googol.

A googol is greater than the number of atoms in the observable unit, and a googolplex is 10 raised to the power of a googol.

A googol is 10 to the power of 100.
A googolplex is 10 to the power of (10 to the power of 100).
The universe is estimated to have, somewhere between 10 to the power of 79 and 10 to the power of 81 atoms.

[becca]

I invented letters, numbers, thoughts, etc. So without me you couldn't even post here.

[Humour Whiffet]

I invented letters, numbers, thoughts, etc. So without me you couldn't even post here.

Post here? I'm reading your message and typing mine by using my Microsoft Telephathizer. Letters and numbers - oh, come on, they're so old hat when you've got a Telepathizer.

[becca]

I invented the device, but realize that most people don't have enough money to buy one. I did give you yours for free after all!

[writewizard]

I funded the company that invented your device and gave you permission to give everyone one for free, as a sampler.

[becca]

I own the bank that loaned you the money to fund me.

[Humour Whiffet]

I own the bank that loaned you the money to fund me.

Yeah, but your bank was built using money that I loaned—money which you haven’t repaid, and which will be repaid when I repossess the building.

[writewizard]

Yeah, but your bank was built using money that I loaned—money which you haven’t repaid, and which will be repaid when I repossess the building.

I invented the bank, gave you money to fund the bank, paid builders to build the bank, and you, by the way, haven't paid for the bank, but I am being merciful and letting you have a stay of loan, and when you reposess the building, I will get it. :p

[CharlieVer]

I can do everything imaginable without any money.

I once built an automobile with a used match and an old discarded gumball.

[writewizard]

I found that discarded match & used gum ball.

[becca]

I discard that match and chewed all that gum, knowing that someday, someone would do something wonderful with my trash. Because I am so awesome my trash is worth more than money.

[CharlieVer]

Actually, I don't need trash. I can cause the most wonderful things to appear out of nothing, spontaneously. I just use trash because it's a form of recycling and makes the world a cleaner place. They had to make a new prize bigger than the Nobel Peace Prize, called the Charlie Prize, that only I can get because it's the biggest and best prize It's universally agreed that I did the best thing ever done in the history of the universe when I did that.

[becca]

I provide all the places that you recycle trash. Recycling was actually my idea. Because of this I am the one who made and presents the Charlie Prize. It's only called the Charlie prize because I am too modest to have it named after me.

[CharlieVer]

I'm so modest, I threatened to walk through hot coals if they named it after me, and I actually did walk through hot coals, but they did it anyway, they were so insistent on recognizing my genius.

[writewizard]

I funded the hot coals that you walked on.

[CharlieVer]

I created them out of thin air. In fact, I invented fire. And water. And air. And earth. And all the elements of the Periodic Table. And the ones you don't know about yet.

[writewizard]

I paid for the money so that you could fund those things as well as provided the air you made them out of.

[CharlieVer]

I was having a chat with God one day shortly before the beginning of time. God said, "I think I'm going to create something called 'The Universe.' I plan to do it with something called a 'Little Whoosh.'

I told him, "A Little Whoosh? Wouldn't you rather do it with a Big Bang?"

God nodded, agreeing that it was a great idea.

And so, the universe owes its existence to me.

[Humour Whiffet]

I was having a chat with God one day shortly before the beginning of time. God said, "I think I'm going to create something called 'The Universe.' I plan to do it with something called a 'Little Whoosh.'

I told him, "A Little Whoosh? Wouldn't you rather do it with a Big Bang?"

God nodded, agreeing that it was a great idea.

And so, the universe owes its existence to me.

It’s true, you did come up to me and suggest a big bang. But I was the one who suggested an explosion—you simply tagged on, “Now let’s get naked.”

[CharlieVer]

I did suggest the explosion... hypnotically, so you'd think you suggested it.. and I set it in motion as well... but I'd never claim to be God, being, by far, the most humble creature that ever lived... and the most modest too!

(I'd go into more detail about the true nature of God, but it would require revealing a secret, and I'm the best there is at keeping a secret.)

[writewizard]

I enabled everyone here to breathe.

[Humour Whiffet]

Sure, that's true. But only because you work for me, God, and I told you to do it. Now go get me another skinny latte.

[CharlieVer]

We Gnostics hold the secret of the secret God that is above the god... you know, the one that ^ that "god" denies exists, and then says he's a jealous God, proving there's someone greater to be jealous of...

'Course, as I said, I can't tell you the secret, because I'm so great at keeping secrets. But it's a good enough secret to make some "gods" (^) go bonkers.

Though I do admit, it's kind of neat that a "god" (^) would want to make himself look like Hugh Jackman.

(To writewizard... yes, you enabled us to breathe, you held in your gas, and we're all very grateful.) :)

[writewizard]

I funded your education, so that you could realize this.

[CharlieVer]

I can make education more fun than anyone can. Kids will think they're in a circus and carnival combined, and yet, will learn incredible amounts of information incredibly fast, while having the most fun anyone ever had.

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

Lets not forget who gave the Mesopotamian Civilization the idea of education, Me.

[writewizard]

Let's not forget who created schools, paper, pencils, and pens, and funds your paycheck. AND, brought your brunch.

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

And who MAKES brunch? ME!

[writewizard]

Yes, but I paid your paycheck this morning. With a wonderful tip, too. :)

[becca]

I provided the money for your paycheck.

[writewizard]

I funded the goverment's money for your paycheck; and I pay all your meals, and on top of that, I rebuked your paycheck.

[becca]

I made the special paper, ran the machines and printed off all money!

[CharlieVer]

I came up with the idea for the money system. Without me, you'd have to barter everything... if you wanted corn you'd have to find a goat to trade with the corn farmer, if you wanted wheat you'd have to find wood to trade with the wheat farmer, etc.

[becca]

I invented the barting system and controled the world for centuries because of it. People would have starved or went cold without me and my genius.

[CharlieVer]

I invented the Bart Simpson, which is much more popular than the barter system.

[becca]

I invented cartoons. You wouldn't exist without me.

[CharlieVer]

I made cartoons popular. Nobody would care without me. :)

[becca]

I invented caring. No one cared about anything before I came along.

[Humour Whiffet]

I invented cartoons. You wouldn't exist without me.

No, I invented caring and cartoons. And when you heard the word "cartoon", you thought it it meant a song about a Buick.

[Cogito]

I created the first word, and it, in turn, created the human race. The word was "Why?"

[becca]

Since I'm a flower, I existed before the human race and I know the answer to the question, but you haven't figured out how to speak my language yet. Stupid humans.

[CharlieVer]

I invented the last word, and in the process, came to control of all the universe.

Oddly, the last word was "Cheese."

[Humour Whiffet]

Yeah, but then your "cheese" was eaten by my "zebra."

[becca]

I was the first one to use the word Cheese while taking a picture, and in essense, I make the world smile and memories last forever.

[writewizard]

I created the word cheese.
And cheese.
And the moon.
And pluto (even though it is no longer a planet).

[CharlieVer]

I created the planets, which were originally named Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, Doc, Bashful... just to be funny, I named the non-Dwarf planets after Dwarfs.

Only Pluto maintains the name of a Disney character. But when I created the Dwarf planets, I didn't name them after Dwarfs, or even Disney characters.

Pluto, I originally named Bluto. Other Dwarf planets original names included Olive Oil, Sweat Pea and Wimpy.

[writewizard]

I renamed all the planets so that the names would make since.
Then, I funded education.
Then, I bought us all cheesecake.

[CharlieVer]

You guys have done some great things, I acknowledge that, and I honor you all for your great achievemants.

I'm always the first to prop up another person. I'll always be your greatest supporter. I'm the best there is at promoting other people.

[becca]

I created advertising and promoting and trained in those fine arts.

[CharlieVer]

I create the finest art anyone has ever seen, better than Da Vinci, better than Rembrant, better than all the masters. And I can do it in my sleep, with my pinky toe.

[becca]

I can do it awake and with.....nm. ;) :p

Anyway.... I invented paint and colors, so that there could be fine arts. I also invented insturments and music.

[CharlieVer]

I did everything that was ever done and is worth bragging about, and I was the first one, and the best one at all of them.

[becca]

I told you what those were, because apparently you don't know. But since I developed thought and ideas, you feed off me to do what you do.

[CharlieVer]

I can feed off you, or anyone. I'm the best feeder there is. :)

I could draw all knowledge of the universe and the power of the Big Bang from a single molecule of air.

[becca]

I can make clear air for all with my new invention, and provide purer air for you to draw from.

[CharlieVer]

I'm so devoted to pure air, I named my children Oxy and Gen.

[becca]

I planted all the trees in the world so that we would have more oxygen.

[Humour Whiffet]

I am all the trees. I am god, remember.

[becca]

I am the one that provides you with your meds when you have your god complexes.

[CharlieVer]

(reply to Humour Whiffet)
Sophia, the wisdom above god as known by the Gnostics, knows that. I should know, because I created her.

I also created those meds Becca gave Mr. Whiffet. But I know the falsehoods and truths behind all delusions, and their remedy.

[becca]

I supply the ingredients for the meds, and own all the companies that make and distribute them.

[CharlieVer]

I know that Becca. Don't you remember, I gave you those suppliers and companies because I have so many companies and suppliers that make and supply so many things, I just don't know what to do with them all. So I give them all away to people in need, because that's how charitable I am.

[becca]

I invented medicine so that I could save all the sick people of the world. That is how much I care.

[CharlieVer]

I cured them by pure thought. And gave them super powers.

[becca]

I provided the power for the super powers.

[CharlieVer]

I gave them genies that grant their every wish, and appointed supervisor genies to watch the genies and make sure the wishes don't turn out bad like all the old movies and t.v. shows where wishes turn out bad.

[becca]

I made all the bottles for your genies to live in.

[CharlieVer]

My genies thanked you. :)

I have such polite genies. :)

[becca]

I took control of your genies because they loved me so much for making them homes.

[whiskeyjameson]

I supplied you with the material to make the genie's homes...and got rich.

[CharlieVer]

I love genies so much, I wrote all the stories about them. Without me, the genies would be just like the appadabingos.

(The appadabingos are sort of like genies, but nobody's ever heard of them, which is why you don't know what they are.)

[whiskeyjameson]

I dreamed of Genie.

[CharlieVer]

I dreamed of a world beautiful and just and perfect.
I have the best dreams.

[whiskeyjameson]

Humanity crushed your dreams under a dusty boot. :p



Best, Whiskey

[CharlieVer]

I have better boots.

[writewizard]

I created the boots and burned yours so that mine are the only living ones left.
I also sell them on ebay for $2,000,000 so I'm richer than you

[becca]

I'm the founder and creator of e-bay. I sell your stuff for you and make money off it too.

[Tigress]

Hello, I'm Al Gore and I invented the internet.

[Evelyanin]

And I'm the one who is going to crash it in three... two... one...
<Evelyanin is no longer online. To see the remainder of her message, press Alt+F4>

[becca]

I brought the internet back to life after it crashed.

[CharlieVer]

I debunked the rumor that Al Gore ever claimed to have invented the internet.

In fact, I debunked all false rumors, being the author of snopes.com.

I also helped Al Gore in his efforts to make the internet available to everyone--as without those efforts, the internet would still be just some obscure military tool, and we wouldn't be here talking.

[losthawken]

I started Wikipedia and in one swipe generated a million more falsities than CharlieVer can debunk

[CharlieVer]

I wrote every website that ever existed... in binary.

And just to show off, I didn't use any of the '1's. I did it entirely in '0's.

[Cogito]

I created the concept of zero, literally out of nothingness.

[losthawken]

I destroyed the previous universe and so created nothingness.

[writewizard]

i created something.

[Yarnillah]

I created the name something for what you created.

[Nackl of Gilmed]

I created the concept of creation. Before me people were just messing around with stuff that already existed.

[becca]

I designed concepts so you could create.

[CharlieVer]

I taught you how to design concepts so others could create. I raised you and brought you up to do those things. I am your mother, your father, and all four of your grandparents, not to mention your great uncle Sal. I'm also your mother's father's sister's brother's cousin's former roommate, and in my spare time, I wrote the movie Spaceballs.

[becca]

I gave you the idea for the movie and taught you how to write. Not to meantion that I created movies and everything involved with them.

[CharlieVer]

I taught you how to come up with ideas and give them to me, and trained you to be a teacher, not to mention inspiring you with the interest in all things movie-related. I did all that while winning a pie-eating contest, and juggling watermelons. And saving the planet. And holding the universe together.

[becca]

I gave you hands and strength and a brain to do all those things. I provided all the matter, for you to matter. I did all this while juggling water and holding my breath for a year.