Horrible, comedic deaths

[Normal]

Sometimes I like to some old school brainstorming (even with a pen and paper!) so I make my little thought bubbles. What do you think would be the most horrible and comedic death possible for one of your characters.

I was thinking somewhere along the lines of beaten to death with ping-pong balls. :D

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[sidtvicious]

Death by tambourine.

[Aliice]

Being smothered by a water vest...?

[JessaNova]

Inhaling helium from balloons on a train track... right before a train comes.

'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!'

[Phlogiston]

Falling 20,000ft from an aircraft with no parachute into a tractor-trailer full of hay, then dying of a fatal bout of hay-fever.

[Manav]

Kissing a bad breath man, going into coma, waking up to find the bad breath man in front, screaming and jumping out of the window and dying. :)


P.S. The man was later arrested for manslaughter.

[Writer_of_Wrongs]

Going to the hospital for a bad case of food poisoning, finding out you are going to die, getting a revolver, going up to the roof of the building, about to step off, then you get a call from the hospital, saying, "I am sorry, sir. We mixed your charts up with another patient. You are free to go today.", and slipping on some rocks and falling off the building.

Run-on sentence! *gasp*

[Montag]

(picnic, lightning)

[Aeschylus]

Death by tickling-induced-hyperventilation while the airways are being slowly blocked up... upside down. Oh, did I mention that the person doing this to you is your 8th grade English teacher?

[Allbliss]

Kissing a bad breath man, going into coma, waking up to find the bad breath man in front, screaming and jumping out of the window and dying. :)


P.S. The man was later arrested for manslaughter.

LOL. I'm weak at this.


Anyways... comedic and horrible way to die... er... laughing to death.

[Mallory]

Writer_of_Wrongs, that one made me crack up. Nice job.

You're at the zoo, drunk, and you decide to climb up and balance at the top of the fence that separates you from the tiger pit. You throw things at the tigers and yell at them, causing the large, hungry cats to growl threateningly and surround the base of the fence below you. You try to do a tap dance and fail. You fall to your death, and the tigers eat you. The end.

[JessaNova]

The tiger avatar gives it a nice touch. :)

You are Criss Angel. You perform another stupid stunt by chaining your hands behind your back and keeping the key in your mouth. You brag to the people watching around you that you are going into a deep tank of water with chum attached to your legs. You also go on about how there are sharks locked at one end of the tank and you have 1 minute and 30 seconds to free yourself... or the sharks will be released.

As soon as you get in the water... the key drops, sinks to the bottom, and you try not to look scared. 1 minute and 30 seconds go by.

Sharks are released. You grab the key and unlock yourself and reach the top of the water with the sea creatures nipping at the fish guts attached to you. As soon as you get out of the tank, you are rewarded with a standing ovation as you proudly bow with the key sticking out of your mouth.

You slip on the water. Key clings to the back of your throat. You choke and fall back into the tank.

Pick your fate.

[jo spumoni]

Strangled by a safety belt...oh the irony!

[Cogito]

Suicide by hand-cranked meat grinder*








(* from a cartoon by Gahan Wilson)

[jo spumoni]

Shot in the head by a T-shirt gun.

[art]

You're at a comedy gig, right? And the guy on stage is notorious for the savagery with which he deals with hecklers. And that reputation has been confirmed before your very eyes because early on in the set some fella had left his seat right, and the comedian had gone, you know, brilliantly cuttingly : 'Sit down you fat bastard' and stuff along those sorta lines. So, of course, you daren't get up. But you're dying for a piss right? But you daren't get up. And, after a fashion, you know, your bladder sorta explodes and this ain't good and you kinda die from internal complications. Internal complications.

[Xeno]

You find yourself falling from the sky, when you spot Superman coming to rescue you. He dives under you and extends his arms.

You are sliced into three equal pieces.

[aimlessramblings]

Death By Clown Nose!

or

Choked to death by Remote Control Vacum Cleaner ...

[Thanshin]

After an extensive investigation, the forensic lab has reached the conclusion that it was all an accident.

The victim entered the building to save his dog from the fire but, the moment he entered the dormitory, a beam fell from the roof, blocking his only exit. The victim lived in the fifth floor so jumping out of the window was too dangerous. Apparently he decided to tie all the clothes he could find, to make a rope and tie it to the bedpost. The process was long and the room was filling of smoke, so he could have been blind from that point on.

He took off his own clothes, probably to use for the improvised rope and to cover his mouth. He must have tried to wet his mouth cloth but a tube of bathroom sealing silicone had exploded over the sink, because of the heat, and while he tried to get the water, he must have glued his own hands to the cloth.

At that point, blinded by the smoke, almost unable to breathe and having lost the use of his hands, but safely tied to the bedpost by his improvised rope, he decided to jump out the window before the flames got to him. The problem was that the window was closed and he had to break it using his elbows and head. The time required to do so was sufficient for the flames to reach him and the pain must've made him jump through the partially broken glass, which unfortunately decapitated him.

And that's the best explanation the chief forensic investigator could give to the firemen for why they found, hanging two meters from the ground, a headless nude man holding with both hands his own burning head.

[Manav]

Frustrated spinster staging suicide on rooftop to get attention. Sexy fireman talking her out of it, pulling her in, and carried her down in his arms. Spinster died of heart attack!

[stubeard]

Mucking around in a lesson and being told to go and stand outside the classroom.

The twist? It's a flying lesson.

[Lothgar]

Her lies Sir Edmund Nigel Blackthorne IV

Beloved son of Marcus and Caroline Blackthorne

Distinguished officer of the Royal Army, thrice decorated for bravery in the line of duty

Hero of the battle of Torrington

Vanquisher of the Troll of Westonbury

Slayer of the Jabberwock of the Selingrath Hills

Founder of the North Faltonby Children's Charities

Patron of the arts and respected member of the community

Knighted by his majesty, King Alfred von Halgrave VI, in recognition of his selfless devotion to the crown

Overwhelmed and savaged to death by a rabid pack of wiener dogs, upon the 6th of may, in the year of our Lord 1294

May God Almighty have mercy upon his immortal soul.

[stubeard]

Getting a cannon ball right in the face and dying from lead poisoning.

[Manav]

Beaten to death with a teaspoon.

Imagine how many blows it will require, probably zillions.

[Aszyllin]

Winning the lottery after playing for days at the nickel slots, only to win and have the coins fly so hard out of the machine that they hit you in the eye so that you become temporarily blind. Someone then steals your money and in your panic you grab onto anything to try to stop the culprit. Thankfully, you regain your eyesight however die of a terrible sickness (e.coli) because you were stupid enough not to wash your hands.

Ok I tried :D

[nastyjman]

It's a summer's day - temperature reaching the hundreds. You're that crazy millionaire who requests a swimming pool filled with pure chocolate. Of course you dive in and drink the gooey-goodness. Oh, you try to swim up for air but can't 'cause it's thickening. In the end, the swimming pool had turned into a giant under-cooked brownie.

Did I mention you're diabetic as well?

[Lee Shelly]

So you're in the thing with the glass walls and the money flying around everywhere, right? And you have to grab as much money as you can in a short amount of time? Paper cuts. Thousands of money paper cuts (new bills?), and to top it all off, you only grabbed ten lousy bucks, which isn't nearly enough to pay your medical expenses, so you die of irritation. From the thousand paper cuts.

[Egil1Eye]

You drive for a handicap service. After picking up your blind passenger you decide to fuel up before proceeding. You just get the propane hose in the clip to fill up when you look through the window of your vehicle, you passenger is lighting up a cigarette.

[Doug J]

The new mall. You cut the ribbon. You smile. You pose. You walk and wave in a distracted manner. You look nice in your new necktie. You don't notice the slippery spot where juice spilled onto the platform of the escalator entry area. The silk finery is trapped between two moving stairs of death.

[Link the Writer]

You are in your TEVD (Terra-Exploration-Vehicle-Drive) about to explore a new planet. Your ship descends into the atmosphere and is about to open the hatch. When the hatch opens, a loud explosion of air erupts, followed by the sound of crunching metal and you're unconsious in a matter of seconds.

What happened? The idiot pilot forgot to adjust the air pressure between the planet and the chamber you were in.

[tcol4417]

Being crushed by the body of a paramedic thrown from the open door of an ambulance swinging out wildly on a sharp corner after being struck by a repair truck that had clipped the corner of a panelbeaters yard whose walls had sagged outwards, a collapsed construction crane having fallen on the roof.

In a hospital parking lot.

[Lynch]

An ironic death by improperly-performed CPR.

[Link the Writer]

So someone's giving you the Hiemlich Manuver. Tragically, they break your ribs, causing a lung to be puncture. You die choking on your own blood.

[Egil1Eye]

In the supermarket doing a little shopping. Pop a couple of seedless grapes in you mouth, unfortunately one lodges in your throat, you collapse, pass out and die in the fresh aisle.

[Agent Vatani]

Death of a thousand paper cuts, bleed to death. Then lemonade on the cuts, painful too.:eek:

[Doug J]

While posting his reply to a word game one of the electrons in the centermost pixel on his screen went amuck and instead of being like all the other pixels and having a assemblage of all the colors that could be contained in a 32 bit display, the errant electrical hooligan concentrated all of its electrical impulses from the screen into the brightest shade of red possible. The hue burned a hole in the Word Forum member's retina and proceeded to continue on through his cerebellum burning a laser sized hole until all motor function was dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddddddddd

[Manav]

Teenage boy climbing a ladder to bring down a frighten cat on the roof, climbing down the ladder with the cat in his arms as people applause, girl he likes call, can't resist picking up the phone, misstep, he fells down and dies. The cat lives.

*This is actually a true incident happened in my town. Sad, but funny.

[Masli]

Trying on your newly aqquired, hypermodern, ultra light and extremely strong magnetic suit, walk out of the store you have just bought it in only to realise that the store next door sells knives. Lots and lots of razor sharp knives.

[erader2]

Tripping, getting knocked unconscious and drowning in a shallow puddle

[Doug J]

Working at a fast food drive-through window you hand over the sixth bag (of seven) to a very impatient and upset customer when suddenly the driver says, "this is BS!", quickly raises his window and slams on the gas no knowing your shirt cuff is caught between the car window and the door frame. Your ragdoll body is whooshed out of the drive up and is dragged along side the minivan when all of a sudden the driver stops, sees your shirt cuff, rolls down the window, glares at your bloody lifeless body and shouts, "you forgot the ketchup, moron!"

[Egil1Eye]

Walking down the steet you see the sign "Under New Management, Closed For Renovations" on the front of what appears to be a restaurant. Looking at the address on the slip of paper in your hand you check the address, yes they are the same. "Well, time to go to work."

Trying the front door you find it locked, so slipping around the building you find the back one is indeed open. Going inside you flip the light switch, not knowing one of the gas lines was broken inside the building so, to quick to react to the resulting explosion, everything goes out in a blinding flash of light and searing heat.

You open your eyes and sit up suddenly as the memories of what just happened come slamming home in your mind, only to find yourself not outside of a charred and burning building, but surrounded by a ground fog, and there is a silence in the air you've never experienced before. Getting up you see a set of gates off in the distance, and before long you are gliding effortlessly towards them.

Stopping before the gates you notice a sign has been put up on them:

"Under New Management, Closed For Renovations"

[helltank]

Screaming obscenities at a man because of road rage, then finding out that the man was Chuck Norris.

[Starving Morlock]

Your a ugly man who likes to kill little girls. You see a girl and offer her a ride. She tells you to beat it but you persist. Something hits your head and you fall of a cliff.

What hit you head? Icecicle.

[kneilandrew]

a man was shot by a pistol-armed bad guy but he did not died in bullet but instead by hitting his head to an approaching cab owned by a reggae man with newly-repaired bumpers

[yorutora]

Falling into a lake of piranhas and finally escaping to only find a bear.);

[sidtvicious]

Two men decide to reenact the light saber battle between Obi Wan Kinobi and Darth Vader, to do so they use the following: two 5ft long 1inch diameter fluorescent light bulbs, two pints of gasoline, and stupidity.

The each pop off the end of their respective bulb, insert gasoline, light afire, and march callously into battle.

Crash and burn, literally. Fiber glass isn't that strong.

[Manav]

Kidney stone acting up while on a romantic date, drinking lots of water, died due to bladder burst on the way up to her apartment.

[Mezza]

Death by stoning with giant marshmallows. This being done of course by a small army of peeps.

[jaywriting]

Lead singer of a rock band. Wails "I'm gonna live forever" only to be crushed by a badly rigged spotlight.

[Link the Writer]

You hail for a cab, but are shocked that you're doing the Nazi salute. In response, you are attacked and beaten by a bunch of guys thinking you're a neo-Nazi supporter.

EDIT: The people who beat you? They are Jews. And they just left the synagouge. AND it's after Hannukah.

[jo spumoni]

For the one above, the person had better be a Jew, just to spice things up ;)

You climb Mt Everest, getting all the way to the top, braving blizzards, almost slipping to your death, nearly running out oxygen---only to crawl into base camp a little later in absolute triumph. As you are running to your tent in jubilation, you trip over a rock and break your neck.

[Link the Writer]

For the one above, the person had better be a Jew, just to spice things up ;)

You climb Mt Everest, getting all the way to the top, braving blizzards, almost slipping to your death, nearly running out oxygen---only to crawl into base camp a little later in absolute triumph. As you are running to your tent in jubilation, you trip over a rock and break your neck.


Consider it done. I edited my last entry here.

And yours is quite hilarious. XD

[Egil1Eye]

Out fishing on the river, just drifting along, you realize suddenly just how close you are to a set of rather large water falls. You crank up the engine get turned around, right at the precipice, and run out of gas.

[huglife]

You prank the local villagers countless times throughout your childhood. One day, an army of zombies emerge from the ground. You warn everyone, but no one believes you. You safely run away while everyone else perishes.

Suckers!

[psychotick]

Hi,

From Spinal Tap:

1) Choked on vomit not necessarily his own.

2) Died in a bizarre gardening accident that the police would prefer remained unsolved.

3) Spontaneous human combustion - it happens!

From Graeme Greene's novel 'A shocking accident':

4) Killed by a falling pig.

[psychotick]

Oh, and one more.

From Dead Like Me, hit in the head by a toilet seat falling from the MIR spaces station as it re-entered the atmosphere. Hence George will always be known as toilet seat girl.

Cheers.

[Cerrus]

You go bungee jumping, but soon after you jump you remember you forgot your bungee cord. Luckily you land in some water. But a shark eats you.

[night breeze]

being dragged to death behind a bus on having your fake fur jacket caught in the pressurised door while exiting :eek:

[Earphone]

Falling up the stairs. (Figure that one out.)

[Bay K.]

Almost starving to death after a month in the Sahara desert, and suffering from severe olfactory defect, you wolf down a dozen 'turd' sausages and wash them down with ammonium acid! (Ahhh! Refreshing!) :)

[Ellipse]

Anyone mentioned:

Being crushed to death under a ton of feathers.

[K.S.A.]

Smothered under a man - who you are definitely sleeping with at the time - who weighs as much as a Sumo wrestler..??

[Taylee91]

Anyone mentioned:

Being crushed to death under a ton of feathers.

So, hypothetically, if one feather weighed about two ounces and there's sixteen ounces in a pound....two-thousand pounds times sixteen, divided by two equals...sixteen-thousand. So sixteen thousand feathers would be pressing down on your chest, slowly crushing you to death. Ugh!

Just thought I'd share that tidbit :D

[Infinitytruth]

Sticks tongue in an outlet while drunk.

EDIT: Sticks tongue in an outlet while drunk and naked!

3rd EDIT: Sticks tongue in an outlet while drunk, naked and riding a unicycle (Imagine that)

[dave_c]

death by electrocution while testing your new robotic pool cleaner (which runs of mains power)

[AwesomeTingle]

There is a large earthquake- lets say 7.8. The MC is at his job, but in his job there is only one place to hide, and many people to save. Everyone dives for that spot. The MC gets there first. Everyone else huddles up close next to him. He is only casualty of the earthquake...
Smothered to death! :D

[Backbiter]

Slowly burning to death in a fire, alone, yet surrounded by fire extinguishers. Poor guy doesn't know how to use them.

[Egil1Eye]

Having fallen asleep inside one of the exhausting tunnel the same day Nasa is set to launch a new rocket.

[aimi_aiko]

Death by wearing sunglasses while laying on your face.

[Egil1Eye]

As a clown for hire, you arrive at your next job, not realizing the previous night, the group of 10 - 12yr girls had watched the movie 'It' on the widescreen tv.

[hnamartin]

Inventing a coat which doubles as a parachute and then jumping off the Eiffel tower to your death.

... only this actually happened (to a guy named Franz Reichelt). You'd think he would have tested it from a lower height first.

[LucifersAngel]

I'll try.

You are the world famous base jumper. On the day of your world record attempt your parachute has a hole which goes unnoticed. Luckily you manage to tangle yourself in a tree suspended by the parachute. You go out for a celebratory drink with your friends, but get mugged on your way home. You manage to elude serious injury and get home. You decide to take a shower and go to bed. Only to slip on the soap and crack open your skull.

[psychotick]

Hi,

One more from an old joke. The plane's on fire. You rush for the back door just behind the pilot, grab a parachute and jumpt for it. But half way down when you reach for the rip cord you realise that you've actually grabbed the back pack of the hippy who was sitting in the seat next to you.

Naturally enough, you spend your last few moments above ground hating hippies! Meanwhile the hippy floating high above you is giving you the finger!

Cheers.

[Trilby]

Drown in water-bed.

[seelifein69]

Go into a shock from allergies to shellfish, only to find out the only thing your more allergic to than shellfish is an Epi-Pen.

[jo spumoni]

According to the news, there's a terrible fatal plague going around and you could be next. So you decide you'd better get vaccinated. Your doctor gives you the shot, and you think, "Oh good, I'm safe." The next day, you have an allergic reaction to the vaccine and die. The scientists announce an hour later that their predictions were off: the plague only kills horses.

[Blue_Lotus]

Not sure if it's funny but it is a bit odd...
doing the horizantial mamba, the bull rider in this instance.
Streachs partners hands over head, partner suffers from a lack of o2 so thay switch to a err more two party give recive type set up.
one of them chokes to death on the ole twig n berries.