id like everyones thoughts on this, alough im not sure if this subject has been posted before, well here it is anyway.

what do you think about the youth of the world, having babies, some out of shear stupidity and lack of protection, some out of unfortunate circumstances such as rape, and some for the soul purpose of that famous ' baby bonus'.

it saddend me actually, and each point is arguable, for instance
lack of protection: some young ones out there are so naive and eager to be 'cool' and 'popular', that they believe having sex as soon as they realise what it is seems like the most awesome thing to do ever, and oh what a shame i dont have a condom handy and my mom doesnt care anyway.... and tell all their mates about and brag and be envied and oh god the joys of being young.
but then you have to take into concideration, the lack of diciplin, the lack of education, and the lack of support there is for the younger generation these days,most of them dont know any better!

anyway, your thoughts please

I think a lot of it is to do with peer pressure as you say. I hate to see youngsters throwing their lives away by getting pregnant so young. For some it seems like the easy ticket into housing and not having to work but they don't realise how much harder it is to have children, not physically but emotionally too. The worst thing in the world is when that child becomes ill and there's nothing you can do about it. It tears you apart. A lot of people don't see that though and only see some twisted glamorous side to having children.

Saying that though there are occassions when teenagers marry young and then go on to have children (or the other way around) and successful marriages. I just don't think it works for the norm like this. Some people have a lot of growing up to do before they should go out and start a family.

Also I feel that children have no idea where they want their life to go and so perhaps see having kids as a get out clause for going out there and finding out what they want to do with their lives. Unfortunately by the time they know what they want to do they can't because they have children to think about first.

Just my opinion.:( Please respect it.

I hate to see youngsters throwing their lives away by getting pregnant so young.



Having children is not throwing your life away no matter what age you are. Age has nothing to do with it in my opinion, what people should be more concerned about is people who do not take care of their children properly...
People who send their kids outside all day and ignore them, that dump their kids every chance they get so they can go out and have fun.
You know I have met a lot of young mothers and they do a darn fine job at raising their children so why should they be critisised for that.

Also it is not just young people going after that rediculous baby bonus, or just having kids because they are too stupid to use protection and to get out of going to work.

In my opinion teen mothers can do just as good a job as an out of teen mother can. It isn't age that matters, it is the level of maturity and whether the particular female is able to cope and take care of a baby.

If they have a child they have a child, it is not our right to judge them for having children in their teen years, we should be there for them to help them out in any way we can not shun them for it, in the end it is not going to change things or help.

~Torana

Thats very true.

Sadly though many youngsters who have kids do tend to Not look after them hence many of them having social services on their backs.

We can't stop youngsters having kids but what should be done is a lot more to help them.
Over here in the UK Child care centres are ridculously high on expense so those that do find jobs carry on with their school work struggle to maintain a good living when these child care centres charge way too much. Don't get me wrong in some cases they do get help with payments from the government but not always and thus young single mothers end up struggling and been unable to go to work and earn a good living because they can't afford too. Yet on benefits they really only get a pittance of what they could have.

Its unfair and it happens but I have to agree with Torano on this don't condem youngsters for having children at an early age.

Lack of education? If I was told as a kid "Use a condom or some other form of contraception or you will get pregnant, get an STD or give someone else an STD" I sure wouldn't argue. D= Who needs more education than that really? If you want to test the warning, go ahead it's your own damned fault. Enjoy life with your kid while all your friends are still living out their teenagerhood. Looks like you missed out all because you thought it would be cool to have unprotected sex...

:s

/rant.

I think that this is quite a broad argument and it must be remembered that no two people are exactly the same, and neither are their situations.

Yes, there are people out there who have underage sex and there are those that do it protected and those that don't. However, some people are ready and do understand the risks - sadly these are the people that already do use protection. On the one hand, you could say that more education might help the matter but then there are always those that choose to ignore the advice on hand, those who say "it won't happen to me" or who try to be 'cool'. Personally, I don't think that getting pregnant "accidentally" is cool at all... but i'll leave that there.

Other people actually want to start a family young and make a pretty darn good job of it. Not everyone out there has a kid to sponge of the Government, though I can't deny that there are those that do. I know young people with children who do a better job of raising them than some people in there 20s or even 30s... age doesn't dictate what type of mother or even father you'll be. I feel its down to your maturity and how prepared you are.

Its always bin argued that young people have babies and then leave it to their parents to look after it and still with their support discontinue their education, but this isn't always the case either. There are many childcare provisions made now (and my only regret here is that they should be made more freely available to older parents also) and it is more than possible that you can study and raise your child - providing it with a better future by doing so.

The people I feel sorry for really are the unlucky ones that are old enough to have sex, know about contraception, use it and find that it hasn't worked. Then find themselves without the support of their boyfriend, family or friends. Out in the world on their own at a difficult time and no matter what people think the amount that a young mother gets from the government isn't enough to raise a child well unless she's working too. Something thats difficult at say 16/17 with no support.

I hate fathers that don't accept there responsibility - we don't make babies by ourselves. (Before i get flamed I am aware that there are plenty of men out there that wouldn't abandon a person if they got them in this situation...)

Anways those are my very long and considered thoughts

what part of the world are you all talking about?... babies are born all over the planet, you know... not just in the so-called most 'civilized' parts of it...

and consider history... how old were your great-grandmothers when they first gave birth?... and theirs?

There was this girl that I used to be best friends with and she the same age as me maybe a little bit younger but she's recently become pregnant. I think its kinda a sad thing because I know she didn't want it to happen. Then another one of my friends has been bragging about her and her boyfriend having sex.
Me personally I don't think doing junk like that is to smart. Me I'd perfer to be much older and famous before I had kids.
Thats just my oppion though, its just so terrible seeing all these people my age in school having to kids and kinda ruinning their life but its their decision.

Having children is not throwing your life away no matter what age you are.

I somwhat agree. Although having children at a young age will evidently place all other personal aspirations aside; including career goals. I severely doubt the majority of young individuals have already achieved a career where in they are earning a suitable income.

By having a child at a young age I don't believe you are necessarily throwing your entire life away, but you are placing your life at risk because you are forced to put many vital opportunities on the back burner.

Money is a very important subject to consider when you are creating a family.

I somwhat agree. Although having children at a young age will evidently place all other personal aspirations aside; including career goals. I severely doubt the majority of young individuals have already achieved a career where in they are earning a suitable income.

By having a child at a young age I don't believe you are necessarily throwing your entire life away, but you are placing your life at risk because you are forced to put many vital opportunities on the back burner.

Money is a very important subject to consider when you are creating a family.

Well said.

I know that girls who become mothers at 14 can still go to college, get a career, and have a bit of fun. But its a lot easier to do all of that without the kid.
A lot of girls I knew in high school had kids, I've lost track of most of them, but I do know that most of them didn't end up going to higher education.

Edit: Maia, my grandmothers had kids when they were in their early twenties. I believe that their mothers did the same. I do know they all waited until they were married before they had kids.

what part of the world are you all talking about?... babies are born all over the planet, you know... not just in the so-called most 'civilized' parts of it...

and consider history... how old were your great-grandmothers when they first gave birth?... and theirs?

Well done on bringing nothing to the conversation.

Times change love. This isn't the 1800's anymore.

Anyway, teenage birth rates around the regions where I live are highest in aboriginal girls - girls that are either sexually abused or simply not encouraged to use contraception. Alot of the aboriginal communities around these parts are full of violence, petrol-sniffing and alcohol, which can all contribute to someone making a decision to not use contraception. What I'm trying to say is that there is two sides to every coin - not every teenage mother/father was someone who tried to hard to be cool. Sometimes they dont get a choice.

Dont be so quick to judge yo :)

Edit: Maia, my grandmothers had kids when they were in their early twenties. I believe that their mothers did the same. I do know they all waited until they were married before they had kids.

most of you are a generation or two younger than me, which is why i asked about your 'great'-grandmothers, who may have had kids at a younger age... if yours didn't, it doesn't mean they were the rule... in many places/countries farm girls and those in rural communities often did give birth in their early teens...

Well done on bringing nothing to the conversation.

i don't think any thinking person would call bringing a historical and global perspective to a narrowly-focused discussion, 'nothing'...

Times change love. This isn't the 1800's anymore.

you may have a reading comprehension problem... i never said they don't... or that it is...

Dont be so quick to judge yo

yo!... who's doing the only judging here???

most of you are a generation or two younger than me, which is why i asked about your 'great'-grandmothers, who may have had kids at a younger age... if yours didn't, it doesn't mean they were the rule... in many places/countries farm girls and those in rural communities often did give birth in their early teens...

True, many did plan to have children early, and still do in other countries. But again, most of them are married or at least betrothed. And most of those rural communities, and my grandmother, and great grandmothers, use a lot of child labour, unlike the industrialized world.
A child in a poor country, especially in rural areas, is after the age of 5, seen as a potential worker. They're still loved and cared for, but they bring resources into the family.
In North America children don't bring resources into the family until they are adults.
So a fifteen year old girl in North America is going to see her, and her parents time, money, and energy going to support the child. Instead of going into her education, and future career. Again they can accomplish it, but its hard.
So how is this a good thing?

i don't think any thinking person would call bringing a historical and global perspective to a narrowly-focused discussion, 'nothing'...


True, but any thinking person would also know that this isn't what you did. You just stated the obvious.

you may have a reading comprehension problem... i never said they don't... or that it is...


Ok, so if you didn't say they don't why the hell does what our great-grandmothers were doing back in the olden days matter to us now? That was then, this is now, like I said, times change, and so now it's not exactly the norm for people to be having kids at 15/16(at least in Western civilisation). My great-grandmother had her first child at 17, so yes, they did have their kid's young, but that doesn't matter anymore.

yo!... who's doing the only judging here???

Can you suggest to me where in this thread I've judged anyone?

Dont be so quick to judge yo

...that is 'judging'... making it clear that you think whoever you aimed that at, is...

and i don't come here to argue, so will not respond to any more of your posts, since you seem to want to continue to do so...

i'll leave you all to discuss the subject and offer my apologies to the OP, for my post having inadvertantly sparked the hijacking of his/her thread...

love and hugs, maia

no apologies needed maia, ive only been here a short while and ive viewed many threads, and this same person seems to enjoy popping in and trying to make other members feel small and unworthy.
very uncool

*WARNING : rant

I am 22 and my daughter is 4. I had her at a young age and wouldnt change it for a thing. I grew up fast but what did i loose out on? partying? did enough of that.....more education?...I can still do that......hmmmm frollicking in town with the girls....last time i checked- I still do that.......hmmmmm what else guys....? I am not sure what it was that made me have sex at an earlier age but dont lie to me and tell me you havent done it at an early age because thats bull- any one who doesnt think it happens every minute of the day is nieve. If I had to choose a reason it would definetly be pressure to just get it over with(how romantic lol) but not because everyone else was doing it....just not my style.

*Did you know that your body is meant to have children at an early age?

Just so you all know..me and my guy(the father) actually have a successful buisness that makes us alot of money so we dont rely on social services like some of you think. People are so quick to judge us because we are young but I feel that we are better off than a lot of the people who are doing the judging.

Well said wordwizard. its not the end of the world when youngsters have children. I have 3 kids and a fourth on the way. I wasted much of my youth and i didn't have my first daughter until i was 21. So having kids at an early age does not mean you've lost out. I wasted my youth Ok now Im in the army and live a good life with my wife three kids and next on the way. I have worked hard and achieved alot.
I'm hoping to be stationed on the Falklands next year, simply because I've done enough tours in places i wont mention but The point is even if you do have a child early you can still achieve so much just sometimes its a little further down the line and sometimes its not.
Just remember many of you/us have wasted a good portion of our youth when we could be have done much more and thats without having kids. Kids if anything are a blessing and for the good can do so much more for a persons self respect and if anything i think raising kids is a lesson and achievement in itself.




~Raven.

HERE HERE! *wildly cheers*

I do realize as well that everyones situation is different(as said before) but after having children there is so much more to life, and very often motivates you to become more in life. So in a wierd way...children can actually be a great motivator for becoming successful and having a full life.

Wordwizard, just a little thing, I don't think 18 is a young age to have sex. It's quite young to have a child but if that worked out for you then well done. I'm truely happy for you. ^^

Having children is not throwing your life away no matter what age you are.
i disagree with that. i am a smart lass, i get good grades in school and i could go on to collage and hopefully university and do really good things (if i put in the effort, lol.) it would be a waste if i were to not do any of that and have a child instead. some women are best looking after children, fair enough, but personally i would not be, i would much rather be out working, or learning. so to me, me having a child this young is a waste.
Heather

I totally disagree with you and find it alittle insulting.
Having a child young is not a problem you can still get a damn good education and follow on to get a good career. its the person who thinks having kids burdens you to do nothing who knows nothing. Some of the most successful people had their kids young and live productive lifes.

thanks coral!... i had to wonder...

love and grateful hugs, maia

I totally disagree with you and find it alittle insulting.
Having a child young is not a problem you can still get a damn good education and follow on to get a good career. its the person who thinks having kids burdens you to do nothing who knows nothing. Some of the most successful people had their kids young and live productive lifes.


I so totally agree with you night haunter. I have known so many young mothers who had no plans for there future what so ever before having kids and their lives were suddenly turned around when their baby was born and went on to study and get degrees and live extremely well lives.

As for young mothers not taking care of their kids, it is not just the young mothers it is older mothers as well. I have seen 30 year old mothers who can't take care of their kids and have them taken off of them, so why label only young mothers this way, that is not fair.

I was 20 when I had my son and 22 when I had my daughter, my sisters both had theirs by the time they were 19 and we have all done fine jobs with our children. My mother had her first in her teens and so did her mother.

You can't sit back and say young mothers are this and young mothers are that. When age is not the factor here, it is the maturity as far as I am concerned.

Sorry if my opinions offend anyone, t'was not my intensions.

~Torana

These kids needs support. The last thing that they need are very judgmental comments from other people. Let us give them love....

I totally disagree with you and find it alittle insulting.
Having a child young is not a problem you can still get a damn good education and follow on to get a good career. its the person who thinks having kids burdens you to do nothing who knows nothing. Some of the most successful people had their kids young and live productive lifes.

i am not saying that people can't have a good acreer and children from a young age, but it makes it a hell of a lot harder to do. it is much easier to focus on your sutdies with out complication, rather than juggling being a mother and studies. and yes, women do do it, and hats of to them. buy personally, i couldn't, and wouldn't want to do it.
and please, i don't see why you are insulted, i have said absolutly nothing to insult you or anyone else. and i am not judging anyone what so ever. i have great admiration for the mothers who manage to care for their children and have a career.

but myself, i am going to focus on my career, as i think it is the best thing i can do at the moment, and probably for a lot of years.
Heather

QUOTE FROM ALICE IN WONDERLAND
"If you want to test the warning, go ahead it's your own damned fault. Enjoy life with your kid while all your friends are still living out their teenagerhood. Looks like you missed out all because you thought it would be cool to have unprotected sex..."

yup I did get pregnant. through unprotected sex, and I did know all the consequences. So far I have no missed out on anything. I have a lot of support in my life. I was never in to partying so I never missed that. It was tough on me thats for sure. It is not easy having a kid at any age. But it makes me who I am and I wouldnt change that.
The last line you wrote I am not even gonna dignify with a response because you are so far of and it was just way uncalled for.

Oh heather my apologies I was not saying that I agree with your comments being insulting, I meant to edit that part out. We all have our opinions, I simply agreed with the rest of what he said is all.
My apologies to you.

~Torana

Oh heather my apologies I was not saying that I agree with your comments being insulting, I meant to edit that part out. We all have our opinions, I simply agreed with the rest of what he said is all.
My apologies to you.
thats not a problem, i just wanted to make sure that everyone knew i wasn't trying to be insulting or anything.
Heather

i am not saying that people can't have a good acreer and children from a young age, but it makes it a hell of a lot harder to do.

Why does it make things harder because they have a child. Sorry but thats Bull we all have it hard from time to time.

What you said earlier was insulting and if you appologise thats good but if your saying you didn't mean it why the hell did you say it in the first place.

Why does it make things harder because they have a child. Sorry but thats Bull we all have it hard from time to time.

What you said earlier was insulting and if you appologise thats good but if your saying you didn't mean it why the hell did you say it in the first place. i meant what i said, but perhaps i didn't word it brilliantly. but i will not apologise again as i find no reason for you to be insulted by what i said. it is simply my opinion, no need to be insulted.

and yes, having a child and going to school/collage/work is a lot harder than without a child. of corse everyone has it hard from time to time, but trying to do both is makin this even harder in a lot of cases. obviosly there will be exceptions to this, but in general, if you have a child young, as in before you have finished school/collage/university, then it is hard/er for you tocontinue and get the results that you would have done before you had a child.

i will remind everyone that what i have said is purely opinion, and there is absolutly no reason to feel insulted.
Heather

Why does it make things harder because they have a child. Sorry but thats Bull we all have it hard from time to time.

If you have an end of year exam you must do well on to pass a class you spent 1000 dollars on, and your child gets a cold which keeps him up crying all night, before the exam, it's hard. A lot harder then the childless person in the same class who can just put ear plugs in to ignore the party upstairs, and get a good nights rest.

It's harder if you have to go deeper into debt to pay for a baby sitter, or daycare to look after your child while you go to class.

It's hard being a kid still in high school having to worry about your child being sick at home.

Now all of this can be dealt with. Many women do so. And most mothers of any age deal with the same issues. But for girls, not even 18, who never really thought of the consequences, or didn't care, having children is just a really, really bad idea. Even the ones who have thought it over, should be very certain they're really up to the challenge.

I totally agree with you Domoviye, children can make studying more difficult compared to people without that level of responsibility but it doesn't make it impossible - especially with the right level of support, though it can be managed without. Albeit difficult.

I'm glad you made the point that its the people who didn't think of the consequences or didn't care that shouldn't have children - unfortunately its more likely to be these people that end up pregnant.

I know people (I know i'm young but I do know older people) who are older when starting there family, have a steady job, a stable relationship and lots of support that still struggle when it comes down to it because its different reading about it or watching somebody else do it to actually doing it yourself. Yeah you can even babysit but you only get a few hours taste of what the child is like... they may be cute at the time but they're not always like that!

I disagree with the people who've said young people are never able to bring up a child, because there are people who can, I disagree with those who say you can't continue with their education because they can, and finally I disagree with those that say all young people are irresponsible, because we aren't.

I don't mean for this to sound at all like a rant, but reading back this may sound like it to some of you so please don't take it that way. The views expressed are simply my own.

The trouble is that both sides of the debate have good pointers.
But I don't think having a kid young hinders a person. When you think many waste their youths and they haven't had kids yet. So in reality life can be difficult and yes having a kid whatever age can be hard work. But hey lifes hard work.

What I disagree with is condeming the young for having kids.







~Raven.

I believe that if you have children at a....younger age, then you'll have more life with your children. It's a vague argument, but in my opinion, reasonable. I don't think it's stupidity if you have a child at eighteen instead of twenty-four.

It really depends on the type of person giving birth. If it's a young woman who is irresponsible and will dump the child of her parents the minute she has it, then, maybe having the child at sixteen or whatever wasn't such a good idea.

Now, a person who is responsible and thinks that they're ready for the early years of parenthood, might be different. If you have parental support, that takes a lot of stress off your shoulders. Having a supportive husband or boyfriend as the case may be, also should help.

I'm no expert. This is just my opinion.

I believe that if you have children at a....younger age, then you'll have more life with your children. It's a vague argument, but in my opinion, reasonable

but not very practical, as where is the time going to come from on a daily basis, in which to have that 'more life' with your child, while a young mom is going to school and/or holding down one or more jobs, to feed and house that child?

an older mom would be more likely to be able to provide a decent life for the child, without having to leave it at day care centers or with its grandmom, so others would be the ones enjoying all that 'more time'...