Trouble dealing with criticism

[Mistyunion]

I'm an avid writer, and have written around 300,000 words or so within the past two years, but the writing's all dead. When I say this I mean I never show it to anyone nor let anyone read it, even if it's just over the shoulder. I am fiercely protective of my writing no matter how flawed I know it is...

Which brings us to my problem. I am a serious writer. I write everything with a mindset of having it published so that others can enjoy it and plan everything, so technique is not my issue, at least I so believe, but I cannot stand critique and have trouble facing any negative comments. As you can see in my join date and post count, I joined a while ago, posted some and left, because I disliked the criticism. Now that my writing quality has been steadily dropping I need critique and advice.

I suppose, long story short is, I suffer from an immense amount of pressure in daily life, and the necessity of perfection has led me to become a self-destructive perfectionist.

I want to overcome this, (and my perfectionism insists that I do), so here's the first step in doing so.

How do you suggest I deal with this issue?

[Steerpike]

I don't know what to tell you except to grit your teeth and just bear it. There's no other way to acclimate yourself to the criticism and develop a thicker skin.

And if you want to be a published author, you'll have to develop that skin. Between reviews, amazon comments, and just random internet postings, etc. you'll probably never see as much criticism as after you are published, even if the work is very good. That's just the nature of the beast.

[Elgaisma]

A more practical suggestion can you meditate? I find it a wonderful resource for my writing and it can help you gain some confidence and chill out about it.?

[gabelpa]

You may think of yourself as a serious writer, but how can you be sure your writing is any good without having other people look at it? We are mostly a friendly bunch here, and with a few exceptions, will look at your work objectively and make suggestions for improvement.

[Sang Hee]

Easy way how to deal with it: drink until you don't think. :)
But seriously, if you can't take it then don't do it. Just write and if you feel like you need some input then get it from someone who knows you and knows how to tell you the truth without hurting you.
I usually try not to rely on critics because I only write for myself and don't publish books commercially but rather quite freely through the internet. I'm not really a big response who... junkie. Whether people like my stories or not they are there for those who wanna read them.

[Peerie Pict]

Misty I think it might help you deal with the criticism to remember that the overwhelming majority of people who post here are likely to come up against a critique that feels like a low blow. You're certainly not alone. It would be highly unusual to receive glowing praise here. Most of us are inexperienced and looking for advice.

Remember that criticism is relevant only as it applies to your work now. Everyone improves with time and effort. A cursory look at newspaper reviews of household name authors' new novels shows immediately that the criticism never stops, no matter how successful you are.

Writing is art. Yes there are technical aspects but opinions as to what constitutes good writing is subjective.

[Marla_Singer]

I have just started to take my writing work serious, as I have discovered, I am quite good at it.

I am just starting out, but one thing I have noticed is, criticism more times than not is an opinion.

Even the authors out right now, with a huge fan base have that select few saying "That book is terrible."

Don't let that hinder you from having success and being loved by those countless others.

[Mistyunion]

Aww...thanks for the encouragement guys. I really love my writing, and I feel like I'm neglecting it if I won't let others read it as well. I guess my main problem is I am a little insecure and since writing is my way of release, if someone 'attacks' my point of release, I am really sensitive about it. Well, in summary, making myself accept criticism is one aspect that I can't back down on.

It's also not that I can't deal with crit, as I don't find teachers analyzing my weak spots offensive at all (although what I write for serious business are mostly things that I don't really believe. More of the pesky perfectionism kicking in).

I guess I'll just give it another go in the Reviews forum. I do have several novels built up over the past year.

[minstrel]

First point: Do not take the criticism personally. If someone says your writing is bad, they're not saying that you're a bad person. They're just saying that you produced a bad piece of writing. Respond to them not by sulking or fuming, but by writing better.

Second point: Nobody is perfect. Not even you. Not even (as hard as this is to believe) me! ;) Nobody has ever written so well that they're above criticism, even criticism from highly qualified and respectable sources. Shakespeare has had his share of mud flung at him, as have Nabokov, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Jane Austen, Ernest Hemingway, James Joyce, and everybody else. Nobody has ever won the Nobel Prize for Literature without having respectable critics around the world saying "WHAT??? You have GOT to be kidding."

Third point: As the saying goes, it's not how often you get knocked down; it's how often you get back up. Maybe the most important thing a writer needs isn't talent or even practice; maybe it's sheer bloodyminded persistence.

Just keep writing. Don't let the bastards get you down.

[Fedora]

I'm an avid writer, and have written around 300,000 words or so within the past two years, but the writing's all dead. When I say this I mean I never show it to anyone nor let anyone read it, even if it's just over the shoulder. I am fiercely protective of my writing no matter how flawed I know it is...

Which brings us to my problem. I am a serious writer. I write everything with a mindset of having it published so that others can enjoy it and plan everything, so technique is not my issue, at least I so believe, but I cannot stand critique and have trouble facing any negative comments. As you can see in my join date and post count, I joined a while ago, posted some and left, because I disliked the criticism. Now that my writing quality has been steadily dropping I need critique and advice.

I suppose, long story short is, I suffer from an immense amount of pressure in daily life, and the necessity of perfection has led me to become a self-destructive perfectionist.

I want to overcome this, (and my perfectionism insists that I do), so here's the first step in doing so.

How do you suggest I deal with this issue?
You'll probably take this the wrong way, but I find that the best way to get used to criticism is to write better. Don't give them anything to complain about, and it becomes a non-issue. That said, don't start a piece with the intention of making it perfect. Start it with the intention of finishing it, as you can always fix things later.

Besides, negative criticism is always better than positive criticism; without it, you'd never know your weaknesses. Until you realize that there is a problem with your writing, you can't remedy it.

Stephen King once said that you should give your work out to three trusted friends. If they all complain about the same thing, change it regardless of whether or you want to or not. If they all complain about different things, safely ignore everything else they've said.

[mammamaia]

you might want to dip your toe in the water and pick someone you can rely on for professional level advice and ask them to give you some feedback on your writing privately, so you won't feel you're being hung up to dry in public... once you've gotten used to private feedback, it will then be easier to post your work on a forum...

i've worked with many super-sensitive writers over the years and all but a rare few exceptions have overcome this problem fairly quickly, by my blending professional expertise with motherly tlc...

you should be proud of yourself for having taken the first step already, by going public with the problem!

love and hugs, maia

[Mistyunion]

You'll probably take this the wrong way, but I find that the best way to get used to criticism is to write better. Don't give them anything to complain about, and it becomes a non-issue. That said, don't start a piece with the intention of making it perfect. Start it with the intention of finishing it, as you can always fix things later.

Besides, negative criticism is always better than positive criticism; without it, you'd never know your weaknesses. Until you realize that there is a problem with your writing, you can't remedy it.

Stephen King once said that you should give your work out to three trusted friends. If they all complain about the same thing, change it regardless of whether or you want to or not. If they all complain about different things, safely ignore everything else they've said.No, not at all. I am normally a very logical person, so I entirely understand your point here. A small hindrance is that I currently don't know any friends that A) provide good feedback or B) takes writing seriously, which is why I have taken to the forums.


you might want to dip your toe in the water and pick someone you can rely on for professional level advice and ask them to give you some feedback on your writing privately, so you won't feel you're being hung up to dry in public... once you've gotten used to private feedback, it will then be easier to post your work on a forum... I have considered this, and am already asking/giving critiques among local writing clubs and meets, but I don't feel secure showing people the writing that I actually put my feelings into. But I most certainly will take your advice. Thank you! :)

[HeinleinFan]

It could just be that you aren't quite ready for that step. I mean, there are many people who are interested in writing. And after they've written a lot, they think, "Well, obviously I need to get my writing critiqued in order to improve." But just saying that they want that doesn't mean they are ready to deal with the consequences, and it can be very hard to tell the difference between the writer who is looking for a critique and the one that just wants to get a pat on the head and a thousand words of well-reasoned praise.

If you are secure in your writing style, then "opinion" criticism is easy to take. If you are confident in the way you want to tell your story, then more direct and usful criticism -- "Your character seems too cruel to be sympathetic," "You didn't describe the house he's in so I didn't get how he could escape in the chase scene" -- can be filtered for the useful bits, and the chaff can be discarded.

Again, this isn't meant as an insult. But just as many writers say they want it as a career, and then don't actually write five hours a day every day, so too do many want-to-be-writers claim they want criticism when they don't. They just want to have people say "Wow, this is really cool."

If you really, really want to have your writing improve, then you will be able to deal with the criticism. If this isn't true, then ask whether you're being any more reasonable than the overweight guy who says he wants to run a marathon, but isn't willing to train or time himself or otherwise prepare for it.

[ChickenFreak]

Aww...thanks for the encouragement guys. I really love my writing, and I feel like I'm neglecting it if I won't let others read it as well. I guess my main problem is I am a little insecure and since writing is my way of release, if someone 'attacks' my point of release, I am really sensitive about it. Well, in summary, making myself accept criticism is one aspect that I can't back down on.

Could you break the two issues apart for a while?

That is, if you have trouble with criticism, and the criticism is hardest when it's about your most heartfelt writing, could you write some less heartfelt, more workaday stuff that's especially _for_ criticism?

I realize that in the end you want to improve your best writing, and that's probably the stuff that's closest to your heart. But maybe you could accustom yourself to criticism with the other stuff for a while first, and once that criticism stings less and you're more accustomed to the process, only then gingerly bring up some pieces that are more important to you.

And the initial process wouldn't _just_ be an exercise in becoming accustomed to criticism - even if the less important stuff isn't your best writing due to your lower interest in the topic, it should still be a tool to start uncovering weak points.

ChickenFreak

[Chel]

Risks must be taken for opportunities to arise.

You say it right there in your tagline. :)

I was going to suggest what Chickenfreak said - start small by posting something you've written that's not so close to your heart so you can get used to it.

When I first posted something for a review (on another forum, not here), I was very nervous - I almost wore my mouse out by refreshing my thread so often. The reviews I got were very, very useful - not only did a few repeated spelling errors pop up (there were no thirsty animals in my work, I can assure you I had enough troughs for all of them!), but I also got incredibly valuable feedback in general.

I found the whole experience very encouraging and helpful, especially since I now realise just how much work it will be for me to edit my story. But I'm already applying what I've learned so far into my writing, so there may be less for me to edit in my future writing - there are no more misplaced troughs in my texts anymore, they're all properly spelled throughs now. ;)

Good luck with it, both the writing and the dealing with critiques. Just keep in mind that reviewers on forums like this want to help you, not hurt you. We want you to be the best writer you can be, so we get good books to read.

[w176]

Practice makes perfect. I would deal with this emotional issues around receiving like a phobia. Gently learning myself to deal with it.

If its hard for you to face criticism maybe you shouldn't train yourself to deal with it using you most beloved writings.

Write a short text just for fun, don't go trim it to perfection, maybe poetry if you not used to it, or with a big "fake" fault, or whatever you can think of to make it easier for you to handle the criticism emotionally. Do it a few times until it start feeling okay, and then move on to other kinds of text that you think might feel okay to get feedback on. Really old text maybe.

Another point of criticism is that it can feel easier if you ask a particular question "Is X to much Y or should I empathize Z?" feels a lot less personal to get answers too.

A third thing is that writing is a way to communicate. One way to get instant feedback and give instant feedback is to be in some sort of interactive writing process. Like the RPGS on this boards and elsewhere for example.

[SerraSwift]

Writing may just be too personal for you.

I got my BA in Art and Illustration. I had a hard time all through school dealing with the critiques of my professors and classmates. When I graduated, I tried to get art gigs, but couldn't handle my clients' requests for changes. Eventually I did some hard thinking and realized that though I loved art, and loved to create it, it was just too personal for me. "Putting it out there" made me feel too vulnerable, too defensive. I couldn't do it for money. I had to just do it for myself.

Writing may be the same for you. If you are interested in it as a profession, you might try separating your personal work from the work you would like to publish. If your release is through writing fiction, you may want to make non-fiction articles or books your focus in the professional arena. Or, practice taking criticism by showing your work to some trusted friends and family members. They are usually less harsh than strangers (but not always, my mom is brutal with her critiques!)

When I made my "keep art as a hobby" decision, I decided to get back into writing, which I had been obsessed with in high school but dropped when I got accepted into the art program. I found that the sensitivity I had with art did not hinder my writing. Critiques aren't a problem for me because I know that I can take or leave suggestions---and making changes is as easy as creating a new file on the computer. I don't have to worry about making changes to an ink drawing or a painting that has already dried.

It might be good to remind yourself that you don't have to take the suggestions given to you by a critiquer. Obviously you will want to correct any technical errors, but most readers will have different impressions of and suggestions for your work. Try having several people read it, and see where the common "issues" are...those are the target areas to fix.

You can also try out some of the changes and if you don't like them, revert back to your original document :)

Sorry to be so long-winded, but I know exactly where you are coming from! I hope you figure out what works best for you. Good luck!

--Serra

[Islander]

Another thing to do - although this is easier said than done - is to find the reason for your perfectionism. Like, is there something which makes you afraid to fail, or to disappoint someone.

[scintilla]

I had written for over twenty years before I started letting anyone read my writing. What made the difference?

A realization I guess, that at its heart writing is nothing unless it is read. If you don't intend to share it, then you may as well be writing in a secret language only you understand. As perfectionist as you are, do you only speak to yourself for fear of mis-communicating your thoughts? Of course not. Speaking, writing, living, is communication. And that takes two (at least).

A its heart the definition of a writer is one who writes. Nothing more than that. You don't have to meet an arbitrary standard of perfection you have in your head before you turn it loose on an unsuspecting public (and your "perfection" is arbitrary. Good writing crosses all genres, but perfect writing is a chimera).

Because of that you have to get it out there. Writing must produce an effect, and therefore has an objective: the reader. Your goal is to create an experience for the reader, to take them where they won't or can't go (but are curious about nonetheless). I wonder if you think of it that way.

I can't imagine a hypnotist being happy not hypnotizing people, or a doctor not curing, or a magician only ever practicing in his basement.

I encourage you to do it, and do it right away. Sure, you will get some negative feedback. And that might hurt. But isn't that life? Would you encourage your child to live a life where there was no possibility of ever getting hurt? What would be the price for such a life?


Reality is acknowledging the complexities of fiction...we must crawl before we walk...A lot more steps must of necessity follow [step] Number One.
-Dwight V. Swain

So we all have a lot to learn. We can only get so far on our own, but we are poor judges of our own babies.

Turn them loose. Get started.

BTW, I re-wrote this about seven times, but eventually I pressed "Submit Reply."

[SerraSwift]

Good writing crosses all genres, but perfect writing is a chimera).

I absolutely agree.

There is also something to be said for the subjectivity of writing and reading. I cannot tell you how many times I have hated a book only to find it has a rabid fan base online. Or vice versa--how many times I have loved a book only to go online and find gobs and gobs of bad reviews.

I think Twilight is probably a good example here. Many people absolutely adore that book and its sequels, while many others find the writing to be of poor quality. Who is right? Does it matter? It is published and enjoying success, whether I (or anyone else) believe(s) it deserves as much or not. And it got published because the author took a chance.

It's better to put it out there and risk negative criticism and grow from the experience, than be (as scintilla mentioned) the magician performing in the basement.

It's definitely hard to take criticism. But it is important to keep growing as a writer. :)

[Manav]

No matter how BIG a writer you are, there is going to be negative criticism about your work. As someone has already mentioned, how one views a writing is very subjective. In the latest edition of Salman Rushdie's book "Midnight's Children", in his note he said that when he show his ms to a publisher he was told to first practice writing short stories to learn the mechanics of writing stories. Others appreciated it but recommended some changes which he did. His book went on to win the Booker of Bookers Award. So, if you believe in your writing, you shouldn't let negative critiques bogged your writing down, and at the same time you should learn to take negative critiques in a positive light which will undoubtedly help you become a better writer.

[miss_darcy]

I found out through the many years that I did theater how to negative critiques and turn them into constructive. I mean obviously if someone said "well that sucked!" I'm going to be furious! But you won't get an audience like that here. I haven't been here that long but I can already tell that there's a good group here and we'll all give you critiques that will help you and not discourage you. :)

[Radrook]

Criticism doesn't have to be a person-to-person thing. As writers we receive criticism of our work when we read writers magazines and come across areas that need improvement. No one to get angry at there! So for the extraordinarily sensitive, that's the best way to go. Also, it's very important to avoid being over-conscious of what the intended reader might think. Writing for oneself releases the creative impulse and tends to make writing effortless and fun. Having an invisible, critical reader constantly nitpicking over one's shoulder does the opposite.

[Shiba]

What I suggest is, pretend someone else wrote it. View it objectively and honestly see all the mistakes in it, and fix it. Then, work through what you've written until you're more or less happy with it, then ask people whom you know are good writers to critique it for you.
Once you find a balance that works for you between the extremes of "flawless" and the piece of writing's original state, you'll be fine. There will always be people who want you to change things; look at what they say rationally, decide whether you agree, and then either use what they say or don't. That's easier said than done, but if the criticism is constructive, that most likely means that whoever wrote it honestly thinks they can help, and they may or may not be right.

[Gurari]

Part of your issue may be that your expectations of the work (or perhaps personal evaluations) are unrealistic. One thing I've noticed in here (this forum) and out there (the real world), is that a lot of people (especially those who are sensitive) don't have a reflective understanding of what excellence is within a given field.

To me, confidence is the ability to recognize your weaknesses, the ability to share those weaknesses when appropriate, and the ability to say I will grow and learn from the experiences in my life no matter what may come.

A lot of people say, "I'm doing this because I'm great at it." I think someone in this thread even said "I'm taking my writing seriously because I'm great at it." Or something to that effect. Rereading your post, you yourself say, "I'm a serious writer," (which can possibly be taken to mean, I take my work seriously, and think highly of it because I take it seriously).

It's more realistic to say, "I'm doing this because I have to (or love to, or feel compelled to, whatever your personal motivators are). Someday, I may reach a level that I will be satisfied with. Even then, even if I achieve proficiency that is widely recognized to be excellent, there will be those who disagree (even Joyce has his detractors!). Even then, I should redefine my goals so I can continue to grow."

In your case, you say:

I'm an avid writer, and have written around 300,000 words or so within the past two years, but the writing's all dead. When I say this I mean I never show it to anyone nor let anyone read it, even if it's just over the shoulder. I am fiercely protective of my writing no matter how flawed I know it is...

Which brings us to my problem. I am a serious writer. I write everything with a mindset of having it published so that others can enjoy it and plan everything, so technique is not my issue, at least I so believe, but I cannot stand critique and have trouble facing any negative comments. As you can see in my join date and post count, I joined a while ago, posted some and left, because I disliked the criticism. Now that my writing quality has been steadily dropping I need critique and advice.

I suppose, long story short is, I suffer from an immense amount of pressure in daily life, and the necessity of perfection has led me to become a self-destructive perfectionist.

I want to overcome this, (and my perfectionism insists that I do), so here's the first step in doing so.

How do you suggest I deal with this issue?


First, why do you feel that you must be "fiercely protective"? Are you scared, insecure, weak, etc? In some ways, you must realize, what you've done by creating this thread is open some of your psyche to our criticism, without the mask of a story to help you. In some ways, what you've done is a lot more brave than post a piece of writing for critique. Because if someone who reads this gives you a response to your issue that you deem harsh (as you might feel I'm doing), it doesn't just feel like a critique of your work, it feels like a personal attack.

Second, what is the pressure you deal with in your daily life? Is the pressure a fabrication of your own mentality? Put things in perspective. What will the consequences be if you succumb to the pressure you are facing? What will the consequences be if you post your writing for review?

In the end it comes down to action. Post or don't post. Read a review or don't read a review. Take from a review, no matter how it is stated (negatively, positively), what you can and learn from the elements you are able to use or linger on the emotion of the review and decide that the review is worthless. Make a decision. Face your challenges. Just do it. Nike.

[JessaNova]

You'll notice that 1 bad critique vs 100 positive ones will always stick in your mind. You'll always wonder about that 1 bad review and think about it. But it's a good thing. You'll always try to improve because of it.

[Zane]

I'm an avid writer, and have written around 300,000 words or so within the past two years, but the writing's all dead. When I say this I mean I never show it to anyone nor let anyone read it, even if it's just over the shoulder. I am fiercely protective of my writing no matter how flawed I know it is...

Which brings us to my problem. I am a serious writer. I write everything with a mindset of having it published so that others can enjoy it and plan everything, so technique is not my issue, at least I so believe, but I cannot stand critique and have trouble facing any negative comments. As you can see in my join date and post count, I joined a while ago, posted some and left, because I disliked the criticism. Now that my writing quality has been steadily dropping I need critique and advice.

I suppose, long story short is, I suffer from an immense amount of pressure in daily life, and the necessity of perfection has led me to become a self-destructive perfectionist.

I want to overcome this, (and my perfectionism insists that I do), so here's the first step in doing so.

How do you suggest I deal with this issue?


Just never forget that those who criticize you, have taken some of their free time to read, and even criticize your story! Those who have constructively criticized your book, are just people that found some details on your story that could be improved.

Just think about it in this way, when you receive reviews, and try to be grateful for them. You´ll understand what I mean, if you try it :)

[Bad_Valentine]

I would really recommend therapy. You described your perfectionism as "self-destructive", and unless you're over-dramatizing with your words, its obviously creating a huge problem in your life. Speaking from personal experience, its amazing what therapy with a licensed professional can do. You explain your problems to a completely unbiased third party, and with their perspective and education they shed light on things in a way that is very simple (like, "Why didn't I think of that?") but incredibly profound. You don't have to be in therapy for years and years either, you can just go one or two times and walk away with the tools you need. There's such a stigma attached to therapy but really, it is incredibly helpful.

[Daveyboyz]

Many people have delusions that they can sing and go on Pop Idol or another equivelent that peoples ability and their assesment of their ability is often way out. The same is true in all area's.

To be perfectionist is not such a terrible thing, I feel it is better to judge your work as slightly worse than it is than to think that it is better than it is. Perfectionism often seeks improvement and that is to be welcomed.

When recieving critisism you have to except that some of it will be wrong and just dismiss it as someone not understanding what you are trying to do. If a critisism appears more than once take it on board and try to assess if their is any merit to what is being said.

Everyone is different, some people will love you and some people will hate you. Perfection in writing is simply not possible because everyones idea of perfection is different.

When you talk to someone you are getting constant feedback from them. When writing you get no feedback so its hard to know if what you are writing is interesting of drivel. It seems a shame that you wrote so much and nobody has seen it, the feedback might have taught you what your strengths and weeknesses are. That seems something that might appeal to a perfectionist. I found it hard but have given the book I just wrote to several people even though it contains some very personal stuff, I will have to brace myself for the feedback but it might tell me that I need to develope something or edit something else, it could prove useful.

Critisism is a necessary evil.

[ChickenFreak]

To be perfectionist is not such a terrible thing, I feel it is better to judge your work as slightly worse than it is than to think that it is better than it is. Perfectionism often seeks improvement and that is to be welcomed.

I'd call this "high standards", not perfectionism. High standards allow for flaws, because seeing and analyzing those flaws teaches you to do a better job next time. Perfectionism tends to cause substantial fear when the sufferer is faced with _any_ possibility of a flaw, and it devalues the entire effort when a flaw is found.

So High Standards might complete a ten-page piece in a week (or a month), edit it for another week (or month), and say at the end, "I think that my dialogue is much more realistic in this one. But in my next piece, I should pay more attention to varying the speaking styles of each character. Maybe I can do some research on dialects."

For the same piece, Perfectionism writes the first six lines and says, "John and Jane talk like they're the same person. This piece is complete trash. Why do I bother?" Then Perfectionism deletes the file and gives up for two months.

I do realize that this is just a matter of definition, but when I use the word "perfectionism", I'm talking about this kind of crippling rejection of any possibility of error or flaw. So that's why, to me, perfectionism is always a bad thing.

ChickenFreak

[Bad_Valentine]

To be perfectionist is not such a terrible thing, I feel it is better to judge your work as slightly worse than it is than to think that it is better than it is. Perfectionism often seeks improvement and that is to be welcomed.

Well, I don't think your definition even comes close to what perfectionism really is. Her type of perfectionism IS a terrible thing because she can't deal with ANY negative criticism. Its so bad that she got some on this forum and left, and it took her 2 years to return. So even if she skips getting critiqued here (or anywhere) and submits her work to a publisher, when she gets her first "thank you but no thank you" letter, who knows how many years it will take for her to submit it elsewhere, or maybe to even think about writing again. You seem to be saying "just work with it!" but obviously its to a level where she can't do that.

[Jay With The Missing Hat]

I feel your pain. I was very much the same way when I started writing.
You just have to remind yourself that nobody is born a writer. It's something you have to work on, and even the literary greats made mistakes to begin with. Just try not to take the critique personally.

[Steerpike]

Aww...thanks for the encouragement guys. I really love my writing, and I feel like I'm neglecting it if I won't let others read it as well. I guess my main problem is I am a little insecure and since writing is my way of release, if someone 'attacks' my point of release, I am really sensitive about it.

Another thing to keep in mind is that even though writing is an intensely personal art, a critique of your writing is not a critique of you. It's hard to separate the two sometimes, but by and large those of us here on the site know nothing about one another. You should never take a writing critique personally. I don't know how to explain how you get to that point, but if you can keep that separation in your mind you'll find that critiques of your writing will no longer hurt your feelings.

[Brandon P.]

It depends on what kind of critique I receive. I don't mind minor criticisms about rewording certain sentences or adding or excising a bit more detail*, but it's a major blow to my ego when I'm told I have to rewrite a large hunk of writing all over again. It's basically telling me that I'm not good at my craft, and as someone whose self esteem is pretty low, I have a strong desire to be considered good at something for once.

* Well, most of the time. Occasionally I'm reluctant to cut out certain descriptions if I feel they convey the setting and characters very well.

[Jessica_312]

I'm a little thin-skinned, too, but I'm improving. I used to think that if my work warranted ANY criticism, that must have meant I wasn't a very good writer. Now I realize that no one's first (or second or third or fourth) drafts are perfect, everyone needs a bit of help here and there (it's impossible to identify ALL of your own mistakes because you're too close to your own work), and not every reader is going to like the same piece of writing.

[Trish]

Actually even published writing is never perfect. There's always something that's been missed. The more you edit your own work the more those things will stick out to you. I used to never notice things like that, now I can't get through a book without noticing typos, wrong characters names (I can't BELIEVE how much this happens!), etc. I also can't believe how many authors and editors miss them. I end up reading through things 2-3 times to make sure I'm not the crazy one (I can never be sure :p). The moral is, NO ONE is perfect, so take it easy on yourself.

(And then I let someone read something of mine and realize I did it too :p It happens to everyone...)

[Eunoia]

I never liked, and still don't, sharing my writing with others but trust me, it really is worth it. The constructive criticism really helps to improve your writing. You've got to remember that they're not critiquing you, they're critiquing your writing, so don't take any comments personally. Also, obviously not everyone is going to like your writing so you've got to be prepared for that. And no writing is ever perfect.

[PrestontheMuse]

I imagine you got better at writing by doing more of it. Get better at receiving criticism by receiving more of it. Make sure they giving it to you constructively and that you are always focusing on how that criticism will help you improve.

[cruciFICTION]

Actually even published writing is never perfect. There's always something that's been missed. The more you edit your own work the more those things will stick out to you. I used to never notice things like that, now I can't get through a book without noticing typos, wrong characters names (I can't BELIEVE how much this happens!), etc. I also can't believe how many authors and editors miss them. I end up reading through things 2-3 times to make sure I'm not the crazy one (I can never be sure :p). The moral is, NO ONE is perfect, so take it easy on yourself.

(And then I let someone read something of mine and realize I did it too :p It happens to everyone...)

Published work is marketable; the prose isn't necessarily good... just readable.

I'm getting pretty good at criticising my own work. The few people that read it only ever give me rave reviews about how amazing I am, so I've conditioned myself to think like my one friend who does see the flaws and doesn't afraid of anything isn't afraid to tell me about them.

[psychotick]

Hi Misty,

My advice would be to try and seperate the work from yourself. Make it so that the criticism is a criticism of the work and not you. In part that's an internal thing which you'll have to find a way to do personally. But equally you can help it externally by using a couple of tricks. The first, and I'm assuming that your name isn't Misty, is post your excerpts under another pseudonym, one that doesn't mean much to you. It'll make it easier when someone comes back and say's Scarface, your book sucks. (And lets face it, somebody is bound to - I'd say it to Stephen Donaldson about his entire Gap series.)

Next, to quote the great philosopher Billy Joel - You learn more from your accidents then anything you could learn at school. You need to realise that if you are to publish and be successful, the negative reviews are worth far more then the 'loved it' ones. If everyone's polite and says its great, then how can you improve? So when you post something for a review, expect it to be harsh in some measures, and in fact, ask for it.

Lastly, as with any phobia, face it. I'm scared of heights, but I face it when I have to. The alternative is to let my fear rule me. Its the same for writing. If you let your fear win you will never become the writer you want to be.

If you don't think you can face your fear, then you're letting it win. And if that's the case and you really want to write professionally, I'd suggest counselling - but only you can make that decision.

Hope that helps, and don't worry about the word perfectionist. That's just a term we slobs use to denigrate you obsessive compulsives!

Cheers.

[Sage Dufraine]

You could always try easing into too, perhaps. Send whatever writing you would like opinion on to one or two people whose opinion you respect. Send it in private and see how you feel when you receive their opinions that way. This way it's not in front of the entire internet community. If you decide you can deal with that, maybe send the next piece to a larger group. Then take the plunge and post on the forums

On the flip side, posting on the forums feels less personal to me than having a private critique from just one or two, so maybe that would even be more difficult! I'm not sure myself, I haven't even posted any writing yet!

My prediction when I first receive criticism on something I've written is that I'll likely assume everyone is wrong and my writing is perfect haha. But I know that's not true and I'll probably have to force myself to accept it when I don't hear all positive reviews about my work. At the end of the day everyone has their own tastes too, and you should remember that when you read their opinions.

[Quezacotl]

Read the critiques people give you, then leave the forums alone for a while.
Then come back to it after your irritation has subsided and try to see how someone decided to critique you. From a new perspective, you can see how you can improve.

I struggled with this too. Just clench your teeth and push through it.

[Mckk]

I'm an avid writer, and have written around 300,000 words or so within the past two years, but the writing's all dead. When I say this I mean I never show it to anyone nor let anyone read it, even if it's just over the shoulder. I am fiercely protective of my writing no matter how flawed I know it is...

Which brings us to my problem. I am a serious writer. I write everything with a mindset of having it published so that others can enjoy it and plan everything, so technique is not my issue, at least I so believe, but I cannot stand critique and have trouble facing any negative comments. As you can see in my join date and post count, I joined a while ago, posted some and left, because I disliked the criticism. Now that my writing quality has been steadily dropping I need critique and advice.

I suppose, long story short is, I suffer from an immense amount of pressure in daily life, and the necessity of perfection has led me to become a self-destructive perfectionist.

I want to overcome this, (and my perfectionism insists that I do), so here's the first step in doing so.

How do you suggest I deal with this issue?

Think of it this way: Do you, or do you not want to get published?

If you can't stand criticism, you will frankly, NEVER get published.

Yes, never. NEVER EVER EVER in your entire life. No one will ever read your work - I mean, you haven't let them, after all - no one will ever know. No one will even miss your work, because well, it never existed, right?

That's what I tell myself. You see, that's why so many writers never get published. How do you wanna do that if no one ever reads it? Defeats the whole point of writing it in the first place! (unless of course, it's just a fun past time and you're not bothered about getting published at all)

I vowed I'll never become one of those writers. Early on I told myself, "I MUST take criticism." It doesn't make it any easier to accept, of course, but I force myself. I tell myself, "There's a reason why this person saw this in it." And I take it and I try again. And again. And again.

You see, it doesn't matter what people say, as long as you don't give up. If you don't give up, critique can only do you GOOD. Now why wouldn't I want that?

I did have one writing mentor once who tore my writing to such shreds that I nearly gave up. But then I realised - maybe everything this person said was true. Maybe. But if their critique is not helping me, then I won't listen to it. You gotta be careful - sometimes a person can be less sensitive than they should be and really hurt you. Doesn't mean they're wrong, but it means perhaps you should find someone else who would critique you but ALSO encourage you, rather than just bash all your dreams down. So I left that mentor. Later I realised my mentor was trying to change even my style of writing (some uses of verbs and adjectives that were a bit quirky).

But the truth is, it's harder to find someone who'd be willing to critique you. In the end, I personally hired an editor who liked my work and would be willing to help. My point is, don't take critique for granted - it seems like you dread it but really, it's probably the most difficult but essential piece of help any writer can hope for.

Take every piece of critique as a piece of gem - as long as you don't let it destroy you, it can only help.

[Nukilik_Ulva]

Well I had a problem with this too for a while. It would just absolutly crush me whenever someone disliked my work. And being in two creative writing classes, and an advanced litterature course (in school) I find myself having to share my work, without a choice. Yeah sure I could drop the classes and leave it alone, but that would be giving up on writing. Writing to me is like eating, breathing, and sleeping. Natrual. So giving up on improving my skills would be the wrong route to take. I say improving instead of perfecting because, can a writer ever honestly be perfect?

My point here is you say you are a 'perfectionist' meaning everything has to be perfect, right? Well that's the joy of writing. It will never be perfect. And we can always go back and change, change, change. But eventually we have to stop ourselves and ask, "Okay will this capture someone's attention? Will this be a boring read? Or is this good?" If you can honestly tell yourself it's good then just leave it alone! I have learned that the hard way... taking over five hours to write a five sentence paragraph.

Again my other point; look at critisisim in a good way. Take what people tell you in stride. When somone tells you your plot line is confusing and unbelievable, ask them what you could change to make it better. Learn from the downfall not hurt from it. If we let critisisim get to us we will never move forward in writing. Ecspecially if you plan to get published. Not everyone will like your work no matter what. And that just has to do with how certian people relate to life and such. I have to tell myself these things all the time. Because even my closest friend's and family and have put down some of my work every now and then. And yes it hurts but instead of letting it get to me I remind myself they are trying to help me, and incouraging me to improve.

Hope this helps :)

~Rea

[Steerpike]

And above all, when it comes to critiques, don't argue with people who have taken the time to critique your work. It just makes you look like an asshat. If you disagree with something, tell the reviewer thank you (they did spend time on your work after all) and then move on.

[psychotick]

Hi,

And having just had some horrid person publically attack my lead novel in the most unfair fashion (he basically said he'd read four pages and it was absolutely unreadible - it was so nice of him to then go online and recommend no one buy it!), remember that not all criticisms are either fair or constructive. You have to have faith in your own work.

Cheers.

[VM80]

Defintely. Some people will attack under the guise of being 'constructive'. Some will also be jealous, sad to say.

The person who read my ms was very honest, both in her generous compliments and in things that needed improvement. When she read it for the first time last year, a couple of her comments gave me that proverbial kick up the ass. When someone describes certain scenes or sentences as boring or faintly ludicrous, you know you've got your work cut out for you. Result? I have worked as hard as I ever have in my life to fix these things, and her second review left me with a distinct case of blushed cheeks.

So what I've learned is to look at criticism on a case-by-case basis, and try to use it to get better. :)

[Cogito]

I once had a critique from someone who apparently created an account specifically to take a shot at me. Probably someone trying to "get even" for some mod action taken.

This person made a handful of posts and disappeared. But one of them was a really acerbic critique of one of my stories.

I could have simply dismissed it as obvious hostility. Instead, I took each point to see what I could get out of it. Mostly it was a repetition of points made by others, but there were a couple new thoughts worth serious consideration.

When someone is trying that hard to open a wound, they may find things everyone else has missed.

So who had the last laugh?

[psychotick]

Hi,

Maybe its the same guy! I'm proud to be his first and only review even if I have no idea who he is, where he lives, what he looks like or anything else. It seems to me like a hit and run attack. And its hard to find something constructive when this post is longer then his entire review. But its all part of being a writer I suppose.

Cheers.

[Steerpike]

Negative reviews are the only ones that have really ever done me much good :)

[teacherayala]

I feel as though I can take criticism as long as the final result is not too overwhelming. When my works are peppered over with too many comments for me to handle, or the general gist after me reading through all of them is basically, "I'm sorry, honey, but this doesn't work at all," I shut down. Instead of really helping me take the next level to fix my mistakes, sometimes people just communicate "You might as well just toss it in the bin and call it a loss." But I keep on coming...!

[Reggie]

Have you tried comparing your current writing/book with a published writer's book? Many say that it is an effective way to self-critique your own work. Than again, I never tried it that way. You can give it a try first, face your fears of having your work analyzed, and see what happens here.

[HorusEye]

Give Lars Von Trier a call. He'll fix you! He once dumped a film award into a potted plant at the ceremony, and his reason was that he hated praise. Praise is useless, only negative critique builds you up (according to him and Nietzsche). Of course, what he did was a PR stunt, but even PR stunts can have a grain of truth in them.

[Lightman]

Well, a number of things.

Don't take yourself too seriously. This does not mean not taking your work seriously - it does mean learning to laugh at your own mistakes, rolling with the punches, etc. I remember at a workshop once where someone was commenting on one of my characters and called him "a vapid asshole" (her review of the story was overall fairly positive, though). Problem - the character she was describing was me, and not even in a vague sense - the character was doing something that I had also done. I laughed (later, while explaining the situation to someone).

Also, and this is perhaps more difficult - depersonalize your work. Imagine that what's being evaluated is just some random piece of writing. This isn't entirely possible, as I think all good writing holds in its sentences part of the author, but it's something. The other option is better and also has secondary, non-literary benefits.

[Steerpike]

I once read a music review where the reviewer said he would rather eat his own feces than listen to the album a second time. So, taking an optimistic point of view, as long as you don't get a comment like that it's not all bad.

[psychotick]

Hi,

It could have been a compliment. How do you know he didn't like the taste of his own faeces?

Cheers.

[VM80]

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Now that's great advice all around. You gotta laugh.

I sure did when someone pointed out some of the idiosyncrasies in my writing...

[beaver777]

I also have a low tolerance for criticism, but I've found a personal workaround: by writing pulp you kinda disarm the critics. When I become better at writing I might take a stab at a more "serious" work. :)

[Islander]

I also have a low tolerance for criticism, but I've found a personal workaround: by writing pulp you kinda disarm the critics. When I become better at writing I might take a stab at a more "serious" work. :)
Well, finally a use for fan fiction!

[Steerpike]

I also have a low tolerance for criticism, but I've found a personal workaround: by writing pulp you kinda disarm the critics. When I become better at writing I might take a stab at a more "serious" work. :)

I don't think so. Whether you're writing pulp or something of a more serious nature, crap writing is crap writing.

[beaver777]

I don't think so. Whether you're writing pulp or something of a more serious nature, crap writing is crap writing.

Well, I never said or (at least intentionally) implied that I'm writing crappy pulp, just that I'm aware that critics are self-conscious of "getting it", and thus if your style is semi-campy, even though mostly serious (insofar as horror / supernatural story can be considered "serious"), then they aren't as apt to put it down. Eh.. I may be wrong, and just talking out of my ***.

*Shrug*

[Steerpike]

There seems to be a bit of a resurgence of pulp/campy fiction. I think critics will certainly recognize the style and go with it, but the writing still has to be good.

And I also think horror stories can be written so that they are "serious," though most of them aren't. A good example of a serious work of fiction that falls into the genre is Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. :)

[beaver777]

Well, I finished my story. It wanted to become a short story instead of a novel. Can't really send it anywhere, except for a competition maybe. Or maybe I'll make a collection of short stories.

Anyway, I'll try writing something more serious now. (Lord / Cthulhu knows that won't happen.)

[LaFeeVerte]

I understand feeling this way. I've dealt with criticism simply by exposing myself to more and more of it. If you don't let people read your writing, and you know you're very sensitive to the bits of criticism you have allowed, it will probably be difficult at first. But then, after you get loads of criticism, it will feel a lot less harsh just because you're used to it. And always keep in mind that YOU are the judge of the criticism: YOU are in charge of your writing, and YOU decide what gets to come in and what doesn't. Not all criticism has merit, and some much more than others.

I'm an attorney so I get A LOT of criticism on my writing. It was hard at first, that's for sure, but then I just got used to it. You might even find that you get addicted to it. I know my fellow attorneys always want someone to rip up their work because it generally makes it so much better -- and if the critic is wrong, just ignore and move on!

Ultimately, criticism is attention. If you're getting a lot of criticism, at least people are reading your work and taking the time to mull it over.

Good luck! :)

[Pea]

I understand feeling this way. I've dealt with criticism simply by exposing myself to more and more of it. If you don't let people read your writing, and you know you're very sensitive to the bits of criticism you have allowed, it will probably be difficult at first. But then, after you get loads of criticism, it will feel a lot less harsh just because you're used to it. And always keep in mind that YOU are the judge of the criticism: YOU are in charge of your writing, and YOU decide what gets to come in and what doesn't. Not all criticism has merit, and some much more than others.

I'm an attorney so I get A LOT of criticism on my writing. It was hard at first, that's for sure, but then I just got used to it. You might even find that you get addicted to it. I know my fellow attorneys always want someone to rip up their work because it generally makes it so much better -- and if the critic is wrong, just ignore and move on!

Ultimately, criticism is attention. If you're getting a lot of criticism, at least people are reading your work and taking the time to mull it over.

Good luck! :)

Great post. I try not to, but it still makes me a little :( when a story I thought was good gets ripped to shreds. I should go seek some out. :p

[Blackgamen]

You will only find true happiness if you finally let go and allow people to enjoy your writing. A part of being a writer is enjoying your own writing and allowing others to enjoy it with you.
Someone will either like it or dislike it, you will never know which it will be unless you allow them to read it.
Listen to everyone on here and allow your work to inspire others. :)

[MassThinker]

I let everyone read what I written. It's important to get negative and positive criticism. To grow as a writer, for new ideas.

[DeAnnaClaudette]

Misty, I can relate to you very well. I am exactly like you, in that I am a perfectionist. The place we differ is that I am not as confident as you are in the quality of my writing. The reason I cannot share what I write is because I personally do not feel like it is good enough for others to read. I feel as if it is a punishment to even subject others to such dreck. There is one particular story that I have literally been working on for YEARS and I have written and rewritten parts to the point where I have convinced myself that I have to have at least a touch of OCD. lol. I honestly don't know how ANY author ever knows when one part of their story is complete. For me, I take extended breaks from writing this particular piece and every time I revisit it, I think that what I wrote last is just atrocious.

The thing is that I know that critiques can better pinpoint my problem areas, but like you, it's hard for me to hear the negativity. I also know that my feelings are grounded in my insecurity with my own writing ability. I joined this site for the very purpose of working around to sharing what I have written with the community and getting feedback. I just need to make sure that I am fully armored. lol.

Good luck to you!

[Alex W]

Everyone has critics, just concentrate on improving where alot of people mention things and change things for the better as you see fit.

Criticism doesn't affect me at all, suppose i'm lucky in that respect after seeing some of the posts in this thread. Like water off of a ducks back.

[iabanon]

I developed a thick skin after attending a writer's course and also having studied Fine Arts. Some critisicms are rubbish and mean, but some are good and unbelievably helpful. Yeah I know it's hard to deal with the idiots who may not know what they're talking about, but then once you're published you're going to receive so much worse.
I like Craigpay's post. And I second it.

[Makeshift]

I have the same problem to a lesser extent. This forum itself helps me a lot, since I haven't really seen any nasty reviews. The people here really try to help their fellow writers, not rip them apart. Reading works posted here and the reviews helps a lot, cause it made realize two things, 1) no one is perfect; all stories have some flaws in them and of course you can't please everyone and 2) no one is awful; I've read and reviewed a few stories in here and never read anything I couldn't compliment in some way. Some stories are better, but even the worse ones had something good in them, which means there's always possibility for improvement.

I'm still a beginner in writing and I try to save my better ideas for later, when I'm a better writer and more confident in myself. It's easier to deal with criticism when the work is not so personal. Write shorter works, about simple things. Invent simple premises and see what you can create out of that. When you do this, set a word limit to keep it from spiraling out of control and turning into something more serious. I haven't posted anything of my own here yet, but I plan to first post some shorter, less ambitious work just to get used to the idea of actually letting someone read my stuff and getting used to being critisized.

[UnknownBearing]

As a reviewer, I'm not one to throw treats for something anyone can do. I give compliments if the writer did something I think was very well executed, unique, or just truly extraordinary. No one should ever think they are actually a good writer because I mean... you aren't. That's the day you stop trying. I'm never going to think I'm a good writer because give it a couple months and I'll look back and pick out a million different things I'd have done differently. What matters is if the reader thinks you're a good writer, so no, I don't care about making someone feel like their work is crap. In all honesty, they already feel like that, and they should. What matters is bringing out what the reader is going to think, which is what I do. "Ripping apart" a piece isn't actually a thing to me. "Honesty" is a thing. Sugar-coating just makes the writer think they can get away with crap. Which is why I generally don't review a piece if I don't think it has potential. (Which of course, rarely happens.)

If you get offended by a critique then you value yourself too much and think you have more skill than you actually have. I mean if the reviewer is actually insulting you as a person, yeah that's not right. But you should never be offended by a bad review. Either it's your own fault, or that reviewer just sees it a different way and it's your choice whether to listen to him/her or not.

[Tesoro]

I actually wish I had more independent people to show my work to, but right now I have to stick with family members, which I know isn't ideal. I'd rather give it to someone I don't know that well/at all than letting friends reading it. It would probably be a much more honest review. where can I find people like that? I mean, it can't be anyone. It has to be someone with a little knowledge about what is good and what is bad and yet someone i can trust. Preferably someone who doesn't just say "it was good" or "I didn't like it" but is able to explain why. I don't know people like that.

[mammamaia]

1. you can post brief excerpts here in the review sections, for a variety of opinions from a wide range of reviewers in re 'knowledge' and experience/discernment...
2. you can send me the first couple of pages of what you think is the best writing you've done and i'll give you a neutral, professional writer/editor's feedback on its quality...
3. you can browse through the reviewing threads and find someone else whose opinions you feel you can trust and ask them to review your work privately...

love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com

[Tesoro]

thanks for the tips and your kind offer Maia, but the problem is I'm not writing my stories in english :( and i don't feel confident enough to translate them. I don't know any writers in my "real life" unfortunately. Maybe there are creative writing-critique groups even here that one can join... I've never heard of any but I'll check anyway. then there are these private "readers" that charge ridiculous amounts of money to read your work and give a review, but I can't afford that right now. I'm a poor artist ;)

[mammamaia]

where can I find people like that?
what country are you in and what language is your writing done in?

i mentor aspiring writers all over the world, so may be able to put you in touch with someone in your country who can help...

[Tesoro]

Oh, really? :p I'm swedish and I only write in swedish. If you know anyone it would be great. (Sorry to hijack this thread, it wasn't my intention) :)

[mammamaia]

unfortunately, i haven't had any swedish mentees... the closest would have been a kid in the netherlands...

have you googled for swedish writing forums?

[Tesoro]

I have, but those aren't even close to being as frequently visited as this one :)) thanks anyway! I'll try to come up with some kind of solution.

[JimmyNic]

I'm going to somewhat contradict CraigPay, but come out with a similar conclusion.

Ultimately all quality assessments on art are subjective. This isn't to say there isn't a craft involved or that one cannot improve - but any improvements are based on subjective judgement, even if said subjective judgement is the result of an entire movement or even a general consensus. No matter how many subjective opinions on a work you collect, you are not going to find an objective truth, at least not in art.

There's no such thing as a bad book, no such thing as a good book. There are books people generally consider bad, and books people generally consider good, everything in between and extremes and both ends. There are works people like despite thinking they are badly written, and books people dislike despite thinking they are well written. But neither of those judgements are objective.

Of course, all of that is my opinion, and you are welcome to disagree.

There's an unavoidable emotional reaction to criticism. People generally want to be liked, at least by people they admire. If someone tells you that something you have made is good you are usually pleased (or embarrassed, but pleased nonetheless) and if someone tells you that something you have made is rubbish you are usually devastated.

But in my opinion you shouldn't be dividing critics between those who like you and those who dislike you. You should divide it between people who have useful observations and those who don't. Most people don't (although maybe not on a forum such as this). Most people have no idea about the nuts and bolts that go into a book, or a film or a piece of music. And even when people do know, they might not necessarily have a good piece of advice for you.

My advice is to put your work out there, because it's what you want to do and it's an enjoyable thing to do. Read the comments, but don't take them too seriously unless they have something useful for you. And in the mean time read some more and write some more.

[Blackwood]

I only accept praise when I feel like I've deserved it...which like most folk isn't very often. I've never been totally happy with a finished piece but there some core concepts I've created that I am quite proud of. I only realised recently that I am very over-keen to get feedback from people, to the point where I don't properly draft the work I sending out to get critiqued. I guess this is just a because of my constant need for someone else to confirm what I'm saying makes sense. In reality I need a collaborator to discuss and propel my ideas with but I have a feeling the way I change my mind every five minutes would really a person off.:redface:

[jingles]

i only get annoyed when they clearly showed a lack of tact when voicing their criticism. then i go ape

[Kallithrix]

Mistyunion, I may be the polar opposite to you - I LIKE getting negative criticism. I am a self-critical perfectionist myself, and when someone tells me something I've written is good my immediate reaction is 'well you obviously don't know what you're talking about because it is a steaming pile of exrement. You only think it's good because you don't know any better.' Somewhere in my warped mind, I think that only the negative critiques are worth receiving, because as nice as praise is, it's essentially quite useless. It doesn't spur you to improve, if anything it has the opposite effect in that it engenders complacency.

I guess there is a difference between constructive negative critiques and just insulting ones though. I've never really had any of the latter, so I don't know how I'd react to them...

[godsandgenerals4ever]

Just found this thread and would like to say that if you get constructive critques of your writing, nobody is being hard on you, they're just trying to help. However, some forums are better than others in that regard. I used to post at one different from this forum until just recently when I realized My God are these people hyper-critical and have now gone into "lurk" mode there.

If you ask me, the best thing to do is find a place where the people offer constructive feedback rather than stuff like "that was creepy" or "that made me uneasy" etc., etc.

[Dylan J]

Mistyunion, I may be the polar opposite to you - I LIKE getting negative criticism. I am a self-critical perfectionist myself, and when someone tells me something I've written is good my immediate reaction is 'well you obviously don't know what you're talking about because it is a steaming pile of exrement. You only think it's good because you don't know any better.' Somewhere in my warped mind, I think that only the negative critiques are worth receiving, because as nice as praise is, it's essentially quite useless. It doesn't spur you to improve, if anything it has the opposite effect in that it engenders complacency.

The problem with liking negative criticism, is normally negative criticism COMES from people who are not qualified to give such criticism. By definition, negative criticism is criticism with the sole purpose of proving something wrong.

Ask yourself, when reading a book do you dwell on all the little things that confuse you or you don't like? If the Author has done their job, then you will be distracted by the great writing and little flaws throughout the book just don't matter that much.

It's ok to strive to be great, but nothing is perfect. And indeed in today's world, nothing has to be perfect :)
Just make it good, take criticism, and make it better. You will never have something finished where nobody can say anything bad about it.

[Pythonforger]

I shamelessly added Rep because someone mentioned Twilight without slamming it.

Anyway, just take the criticism head on, hands up, elbows crossed, legs bent, knees apart, helmet on, sword hanging menacingly from your belt and eyes glowing with that "TAKE ME ON BRO" look.

Eventually you'll realize that you're starting to ignore criticism, and you can finally start improving.

[Dylan J]

Eventually you'll realize that you're starting to ignore criticism, and you can finally start improving.


Accepting criticism, from others and yourself however, is HOW you improve is it not? Without criticism, there would not be any improving.

[yagr]

Accepting criticism, from others and yourself however, is HOW you improve is it not? Without criticism, there would not be any improving.

Well actually, I'm not sure about this. Perhaps accepting competant criticism is a step toward improving. I am not a creative writer, though I hope to become one. One might do well to ignore my critique because I don't know what I'm talking about. :)

[Dylan J]

Well actually, I'm not sure about this. Perhaps accepting competant criticism is a step toward improving. I am not a creative writer, though I hope to become one. One might do well to ignore my critique because I don't know what I'm talking about. :)

Without criticism, there would not be any improving.

Now I'm not saying all criticism improves, it most certainly does not. If you told me my whole story sucked, and I deleted everything that would (most likely) not be an improvement. But without criticism, there's no chance to improve. Without the ability to say "hey, this isn't good" there would be no reason.

I should of been clearer, I didn't mean you must accept all criticism to improve, but if you don't accept ANY criticism you're guaranteed not to improve. Your choice for what criticism you choose to accept,.

[Kallithrix]

The problem with liking negative criticism, is normally negative criticism COMES from people who are not qualified to give such criticism. By definition, negative criticism is criticism with the sole purpose of proving something wrong.

Not really. Negative criticism means the reviewer found something wanting in your work, something they disagreed with, something they thought could be improved. If this is simply a matter of personal preference then sometimes it can be ignored, but saying that anyone who has a negative comment is not qualified to make said comment is just being a precious snowflake.


Ask yourself, when reading a book do you dwell on all the little things that confuse you or you don't like?

Absolutely all the time. I am a very analytical person with 2 literary degrees. I can't NOT dwell on every tiny little thing.


If the Author has done their job, then you will be distracted by the great writing and little flaws throughout the book just don't matter that much.

Nope, those niggling little things that annoyed me can ruin an otherwise great novel, at least in my eyes.


It's ok to strive to be great, but nothing is perfect. And indeed in today's world, nothing has to be perfect :)
Just make it good, take criticism, and make it better. You will never have something finished where nobody can say anything bad about it.

Exactly, but my point is that I WANT people to say something bad about it. I don't trust praise, it's a hollow victory, a pat on the back for taking part. It feels false. when people tell me what they DIDN'T like that is what feels genuine, thought provoking and useful.