Some of us have problems in life that we may want to share Id like to think if you do maybe you can share them with each other in here.

For example Job interviews advice
Exam advice
Home issues advice

Or you may wish to just plainly talk about your problems. If your having a very bad time and need to talk with sympathetic ears (eyes).

In a nut shell your every day to day life issues. its a little like Hulls Ravens Lads and girls thread only covers life in general on the whole.

maybe your anxious about something or you simply want to talk and have someone listen have issues at home that are joyous or painful and you need serious advice

Since this thread will be of that nature I will delete any flame posts I will delete and insulting posts foul language of insulting behaviour and will issue warnings.

Please keep this thread clean.
I guess it’s like an agony aunt thread only were we all chip in.

well, all u have to worry about is me talking about it, im depressed, that is all. my shrink is absolutely no help to me, and i am not one to worry about myself. cant help but worry about others. im extroverted and care too much ppl say, but its just me. live in a household where ur father beats u everday for 8 years and it mchanges u. good news is im with my mom and safer i guess, but i still cant help but not care about myself, i mean, despite wut everyone tells me i believe im worthless and a piece of s*@t. all i need is just some way to just sleep and to b able to talk to my friends who care. doctors r robots who just study u like a lab rat, they dont truly care. sry for causing any worry

Im sorry this is how you feel.

Have you spoken with your mother of how you feel? Or even some friends a friend?

i dont talk to my mom about it, because of my father and most of that side of the family i dont trust my family at all, and yes i talk to my friends about it usually, though they r probably asleep or busy at the moment. i would try sleeping but i cant sleep so ill wait for them

Gosh Pyrox, I hope you will take some of Night Haunter's caring advise. What about dreaming. Can you dream when you do get to sleep. I know for me I had to talk to my doctor about some same things. He put me on some non depression pills. I sure would take Night Haunter's words to heart. It seems as though you should really think about it. Sure hope you can cheer yourself up soon...like you cheer others. Sorry about the mean past you have had to go through.

Mucho Blessings
Budhabee

i dream sometimes when i sleep, but i never remember them afterwards

One things for sure Pyrox. You need to take care of yourself and get help. Or you will fall into a pit of self pity.

well, honestly, i can tell u that i will never feel self pity. i cant even let others feel sry for me, self pity does no good anyways

Maybe not be from time to time we all need compassion. I'm no Doctor but its not hard to see your in some kind of pain and your in a dark place. You certainly need to find away out of that. And you need to tell your Mom and seriously talk with a counsellor.

well, all u have to worry about is me talking about it, im depressed, that is all. my shrink is absolutely no help to me, and i am not one to worry about myself. cant help but worry about others. im extroverted and care too much ppl say, but its just me. live in a household where ur father beats u everday for 8 years and it mchanges u. good news is im with my mom and safer i guess, but i still cant help but not care about myself, i mean, despite wut everyone tells me i believe im worthless and a piece of s*@t. all i need is just some way to just sleep and to b able to talk to my friends who care. doctors r robots who just study u like a lab rat, they dont truly care. sry for causing any worry
From the way your beginning to sound and the things your coming out with it sounds like your dad is a Paedophile mate. You need to call the police that kind of **** is just wrong. Also tell your mom unless she's part of it.

Paedophilia is just cruel and disgusting and wrong. And you need to get out while you can maybe run away to friends and get the law involved also you need to get yourself checked out medically.

Well whatever the situation I have to say take Night haunters advice. You certainly cannot let yourself be beaten daily or regularly. And if you are been abused you really should go and get yourself some serious help. Anyone who does that is Ill themselves and deserves jail time. (And that’s the polite answer)

Pyrox if you have these things going on you must seek help from someone professional to deal with this sort of thing.

From the way your beginning to sound and the things your coming out with it sounds like your dad is a Paedophile mate. You need to call the police that kind of **** is just wrong. Also tell your mom unless she's part of it.

Paedophilia is just cruel and disgusting and wrong. And you need to get out while you can maybe run away to friends and get the law involved also you need to get yourself checked out medically.

my father was just a sadistic s.o.a.b. and enjoyed our pain, and the courts r involved and u know wut, he isnt gonna pay for any of it, the damned courts r letting him get away with it all. but hey, thats how stupid the courts work. and idk if this will calm u all down, but yesterday at 1:12am, was the two year anniversairy of my attempted suicide. the reason i celebrate it is because i lived, which is great.

Im not sure how to respond to that Pyrox.

Please get some medical help. aye.

its a good thing, and honestly i do feel a bit better now

well, all u have to worry about is me talking about it, im depressed, that is all. my shrink is absolutely no help to me, and i am not one to worry about myself. cant help but worry about others. im extroverted and care too much ppl say, but its just me. live in a household where ur father beats u everday for 8 years and it mchanges u. good news is im with my mom and safer i guess, but i still cant help but not care about myself, i mean, despite wut everyone tells me i believe im worthless and a piece of s*@t. all i need is just some way to just sleep and to b able to talk to my friends who care. doctors r robots who just study u like a lab rat, they dont truly care. sry for causing any worry

I can empathize, having had a sexually and physically abusive father myself. Even now, I still have thoughts about being worthless because going through something like that just makes you feel that way. You're always like, "Why didn't I stop it? What's wrong with me?" I agree with you about the doctor thing. That's why I don't go see a therapist. My belief is that you can never truly understand how someone feels just by reading a text book.

However, doctors can give you medicine that will help you, so I do advise that you see one. All I can say is that you're not alone. Even though it's not yourself you are concerned with, it should be. Take some time to take care of yourself. I know it may sound difficult, but it's what will really help. Give yourself time to heal. It may take years and years, but it will be worth it.

And maybe that's easy for me to say because I had some real closure. I literally got to tell my father that I was done being his toy and that I wanted to live my own life. Just keep fighting to feel better no matter what it takes (Unless it takes something harmful. Been down the suicidal and drug path myself. Don't go there.)

You said that it had been two years since your suicide attempt. I know I don't know you very well, but I'm proud that you haven't attempted it since then, and I'm very glad you lived. That is definitely something to celebrate.

All right now. I know I've been rambling. Final words: Get some medical attention, take care of yourself, and just keep fighting.

i don't see what the problem with doctors is people. i know they may seem like they don't listen and stuff, but i promise you, espeically if you go to see a pyschiatrist, they do listen, it is their job to listen. you just have to talk to them about whats going wrong in your life instead of expectnig you to guess. sometimes Prox, all you need is someone to talk to. if it is more serious than that then the doctor can give you the correct medicines and counceling to help you get through this. you need to seek medical help! honestly, it is the best thing for you, no-one can egt through things like this alone.
Heather

The only advice i can give to you all about life is to practice your knife-hand-chops religiously. Knife-hand-chops can be the difference between life and death in many situations.

The only advice i can give to you all about life is to practice your knife-hand-chops religiously. Knife-hand-chops can be the difference between life and death in many situations. what exactly is a "knife-hand-chop"?

A knife-hand-chop is a martial arts technique. You are able to put more p.s.i into a knife hand chop than a punch. Also, the side of the hand can be toughened up more than the knuckles, causing less durability damage further in life. Plus you look cool when you do it.

how is that going to help any can i ask? your suggestion is what, go around hitting things in an attempt to releive your anger? i stick by the get medical help Prox, seriously.

Heather, when you realize what a cruel and disgustingly corrupt world we live in you will realize why it is valuable to at least know 1 technique for self defense, as i said, it can be the difference between life or death.

If someone is frightened they will be too afraid to use Violence. Not all the population are hard core fighters.

Actually, the principal benefit of martial arts training isn't the fighting skills. It's the self confidence you gain; also, improved coordination, and the awareness of your surroundings that helps you avoid situations in the first place.

I have almost never needed to use a martial arts technique against anyone, and the times I have, it has been holds, not strikes. But I have defused a few situations with a word or even a look.

Of course, being 6"4" tall doesn't hurt...

Heather, when you realize what a cruel and disgustingly corrupt world we live in you will realize why it is valuable to at least know 1 technique for self defense, as i said, it can be the difference between life or death. fighting back pysically is not something i would recomend. in my opinion, the best way to over come something is to work through it and be better than it. i don't think that by stooping to the same levels as the "bully" in the first place you are going to do any good, all you have done is provoke the sistuation. my advice, like i have said, would be to seek proffesional help, rather than attempting to solve things yourself and making things worse.
Heather

Heather i couldn't have said that better if i tried ;)

Does it look like i am saying that this is something you can talk your way out of? Martial arts are always the last option, but an example, excuse its crudeness, that a rapist attacks you. No kind words will stop him. I'm not talking about schoolyard bullying. I do agree with Cogito, holds work extremely well, but as my advice is for novices that do not know such techniques, and alot of the time holds are very situational (as in a 1v1 environment. Often the best chance is to pick one out and make your attack so savage that it will make them rethink their choice.
An expert knife-hand-chop can easily fracture, even break bones. Joints are great weak spots (especially the knees) Elbows are a no no (as they are the hardest part of the body) the neck is always the first option in defending yourself.

Anyways, this is ADVICE to HELP you if this ever happens, which i hope it doesn't, but its an odd and twisted world.

Well to concede martial arts can also help ease the mind mentally

Flattery, a kind word, and the unspoken threat of force will get you anywhere in this world.

That's what I live by. There is always an alternative to violence, it's just not always easy to see.

Does it look like i am saying that this is something you can talk your way out of? Martial arts are always the last option, but an example, excuse its crudeness, that a rapist attacks you. No kind words will stop him. I'm not talking about schoolyard bullying. yes, then it would help in that case, you are right, but i was on about Prox's situation with his family. if he was to attacked then yes, martial arts or any other form of self defence would come in handy, but he shouldn't use that in place of help.
Heather

Flattery, a kind word, and the unspoken threat of force will get you anywhere in this world.

That's what I live by. There is always an alternative to violence, it's just not always easy to see.

I take a middle ground. I prefer to avoid violence, and am generally able to do so. I am suspicious of "always" statements, and do not believe that the alternative must exist in all circumstances.

If an assailant knows you will never ever resort to a violent response, he has an advantage he can and will exploit.

I was raised in a household that prohibited any kind of physical response to a threat. And I was continually victimized by bullies. At one point, I decided I was not going to be a victim, so when I started the next school (we moved fairly often), I decided I would stand up to the first bully I encountered. I did, we bloodied one another's noses, and decided on a truce. I only had to deal with one other bully the rest of my time at that school, and he stood a head taller than me, and was old enough to have his own car (I was in eighth grade).

I have never been a victim since. And I almost never have needed to utilize violence once I left the option open for myself.

Come to think of it, I used to have a couple of bullies too. The first one was my age, though I guess I don't consider him much a bully -- just an idiot with older friends. The funny thing is that he once stole some of my food on the bus, so I turned around and punched him in the face. Devilish, aren't I? He told when we got to school, but I didn't get in trouble because of my good grades.

There was another one that was a bit more serious though. I don't know why it happened but we were playing tag football together, and he kept being able to tackle me despite the fact that there was a teacher only feet away. He did other stuff as well... though I managed to avoid him until he left.

From then, no one really messed with me because they knew I was taking martial arts. Even If I haven't physically needed it since, it's been good enough just in reputation, haha.

yeaa, bullies aint fun at all. i ahd something like that a few years ago at school, but one day i just turned around after she had been pushing and shoving me again, and smacked her in the nose. :p she never touched me again after that, and infact now we are quite good mates. owww childish fights. :p

Jake Stacy was in 9th grade, and stood a full head above me. He had been held back several times, and had perpetual stubble, a full driver's license, and a mean attitude. I was in eighth grade. Late one morning, I was near the front of a crowd waiting fo rthe hall monitor to allow us to proceed. Someone snapped me sharply in the back of the head. I turned without even thinking about it, and punched the face behind me. Even with the height difference, I managed to raise a red welt on his cheekbone under his left eye. The hall monitor sent us both to the Principal's office across the hall. Mr. DeLuca yelled at Jake about bullying, and told him he would be suspended next time it happened. I was ordered to grip the desk, and was paddled.

A couple days later, Jake and one of his buddies pulled up behind me and parked as I was walking home. They got out and started taunting me. I turned around, my fists balled up at my sides, and began marching toward him. He caaled out one last threat, then they got back in the car and drove off. I never had any more problems from him apart from the occasional sneer in passing.

Haha... he got his ass whooped! Well... I guess you did too, eh? Don't you hate that? Teachers never seem to see anything before the retaliation.

I was ok with it. I felt justified in what I had done, and it was worth it to see the look on his face.

I wouldn't normally do this.. but hey, when you're working on 3 1/2 hours of sleep, you'll do pretty much anything..

Anyway..

I'm really frustrated with how we're supposed to climb the social ladder to success. I don't want, (and I've never wanted) to go to College or University, I feel it's a huge waste of money. This is my decision, and while I understand people's concerns, that life, just isn't for me. I'll never fit into this mold society calls success, it's not in me. I've always been quirky, and different. And I honestly don't want to change.
It also doesn't help that having "graduated" as a homeschooler my College and University choices are VERY slim.
I'm frustrated with myself because I have NO idea what I want to do with my life. I feel like I should know, because this is the time to get up and do it; yet I don't.
I'd love to just sit and write all day long.. but that's a dream I'll either never live, or I'll run out of inspiration and hate myself for choosing it.
Right now, life is overwhelmingly underwhelming.

And we can't forget this:
Work sucks and should die a horrible death.

*end rant*

I had always wanted to get in a fight after I started learning Tae Kwon Do, haha. However, I had to suffice with sparring. It's weird, I kind of want to fight... but at the same time I don't. Just something to go wild at I guess...

Or maybe you just want to know where your limits are...

There are some pretty nice colleges, for oddballs nonetheless. I know that it's all really... very... super... crazily expensive, but I do think it can be worth it. If it's merely just to get to a better job.

However, there are some other routes. I'm planning on trying to do something with real estate later in life, seems to have been profitable for a long time.

I've heard that x-ray technicians get some pretty nice money, esp. for how much schooling they do. What else do you even like to do outside of writing?


EDIT: You may be right Cog... I do that with my car all the time. My current highest speed is about 108 mph.

There are some pretty nice colleges, for oddballs nonetheless. I know that it's all really... very... super... crazily expensive, but I do think it can be worth it. If it's merely just to get to a better job.

However, there are some other routes. I'm planning on trying to do something with real estate later in life, seems to have been profitable for a long time.

I've heard that x-ray technicians get some pretty nice money, esp. for how much schooling they do. What else do you even like to do outside of writing?


EDIT: You may be right Cog... I do that with my car all the time. My current highest speed is about 108 mph.

My other passion is being a pianist, though again, I'm not sure how far that will take me. Then there's European history, which again, involves writing.

For three years I wanted to join the IT field, but now, everything changes so quickly, it seems like a dead end. Not to mention the whole windows thing annoys me.

If I do go to College, (in who knows when), I'd like it to be because I want to be there and I'd know exactly what I'd want.

Hey.. maybe I'm just greedy..

Maybe a job in teaching history? perhaps allowing you to target music in European history as well. If you're any good, you can teach piano independently as well.

I'm thinking about a degree in computer science, and I don't believe it to be a dead-end job. Try looking up networking, I've heard that can pay well, and from my knowledge, it shouldn't change as much as other fields. By the way: Micro$oft annoys everyone... except Bill Gates, his family, and some of his employees.

Whoa... that was weird. I saw that photo, then looked down and saw pink. Not that it matters, but I actually forgot you were female... hehe.

Maybe a job in teaching history? perhaps allowing you to target music in European history as well. If you're any good, you can teach piano independently as well.

I'm thinking about a degree in computer science, and I don't believe it to be a dead-end job. Try looking up networking, I've heard that can pay well, and from my knowledge, it shouldn't change as much as other fields. By the way: Micro$oft annoys everyone... except Bill Gates, his family, and some of his employees.

Whoa... that was weird. I saw that photo, then looked down and saw pink. Not that it matters, but I actually forgot you were female... hehe.

Teaching history is one of my hidden hopes. =)
It's funny, I'm actually allowed to teach piano if I felt like it, but I don't have the patience for little children.

Actually, trouble shooting has always fascinated me. The whole idea of having to find the reason something is broken is insanely fun. =D

Yeah, most people are either weirded out or fascinated that I'm a girl.. not that I care. (Kind of annoys me honestly. Maybe I'll vent about that later...) lol

It's not about your demeanor or anything... it's just that I had been staring at that picture for so long. I don't see why people would be fascinated or weirded-out by it.

There's plenty of trouble-shooting in networking, though there's a lot more in programming. I've only done a little in that field, but it seems amusing. Perhaps you could get some instruction books and try your hand at Java? It's practically free, and I know of someone who made a game on it, so it's pretty useful as well.

Teaching history would probably be nice for you, but instructors seem to get treated like crap... down here at least. Not to mention, if you don't have patience for children. (I actually detest the little buggers myself.)

They're usually fascinated because of my, and I quote, "ungirly interests."

*nod* As a kid (say, 10 years old?) I created a really lame game using a kid's version of Coco. 'Twas fun, but I don't think I have the focus to get back into it. It's just so incredibly difficult to find my niche. The field is insanely huge.

Yeah, they get treated pretty bad down here too. Not that I'd know any details..

What are these ungirly interests? and I do believe you should try looking up Java and networking anyway. Both are really introverted. :)

What are these ungirly interests? and I do believe you should try looking up Java and networking anyway. Both are really introverted. :)

You honestly want to know? Geeze.. Where to begin..
Nutshell version: Movie interests (no chick flicks, ever), conspiracy interests (usually very ungirly), interest in wars / genocides and such, hate shopping, love my iBook.

Things like that.

I just realized how stupid it'd be if you were joking. Lol.

And I'll look into java and networking again, as it's been awhile.

Well, I personally didn't know that you needed a phallus and bollocks to be interested in any of that. Guess you should be somewhere in the kitchen raising a family and making some pot-bellied guy a sandwich?

Gender roles are oh so fun, aren't they?

Though I must say I rather enjoy shopping in some aspects... most parts, with the exception of money leaving my frigid grasp.

Were you close to your father, grandfather, or something along those lines?

Quite. I was just thinking that. (And for the record, I can cook, it's just not something I'd like to be known by). =P

I should rephrase - I like shopping as long as it isn't for clothes/shoes/makeup. Which leaves electronics and books. : )

Yes, very close to both my father and grandfather. Rather, my father and my grandfather on my mom's side.

I don't mind being known for my cooking. Which reminds me, anyone have a good recipe for Gender Rolls?

Dushechka, it sounds like you've been marooned in the Land thet Time Forgot. Lawd help you if you had decided you enjoy taking apart pickup truck engines!

I don't mind being known for my cooking. Which reminds me, anyone have a good recipe for Gender Rolls?

Dushechka, it sounds like you've been marooned in the Land thet Time Forgot. Lawd help you if you had decided you enjoy taking apart pickup truck engines!

As a child.. I wanted to be a mechanic.

Seriously. How sad is that?

Not at all sad. Nor is it pathetic that I leak tears like a lawn sprinkler at sappy movies.

I've always despised the "men are from mars, women are from venus" way of thinking. It only serves to uphold gender stereotypes. In my experience, the differences between individual brains is far greater than the difference between men's brains and women's brains collectively. And cultural stereotyping accounts for the differences in brains by gender. Granted, there is a valid argument that the chemical environment of the brain includes hormones, which can mean some measurable differences in thought process. But I still maintain that the variation from one individual to another is far more significant.

well, first off thanx to everyone for advice, though trusting doctors isnt my thing, unless i know for sure i need it. i prefer talking to friends because they dont have to listen but want to, unlike psychiatrists who r supposed to so they dont truly care. ok, about the martial arts thing-ive never needed it, and now at 6'2" i still dont. i may b a skinny kid but believe me, ppl underestimate me way too much. ive only lost 2 fights in my life, and ive had quite a few. but honestly, i never have liked fighting, it is a last resort for me, unless its a verbal fight lol. i always seem to b able to talk my way out of fights, guess i can b good with words. in fights i can honestly say, i kinda have fun. i mean, im a masochist, so fight=pain=pleasure, ya know. i guess the best thing about me when im mad is that i dont attack u. i usually just give u wut all my friends call 'te death stare' and if i speak my voice is a cold monotone. i dont speak when im mad cuz i know that if i say anything i will b pretty messed up, though everyone who has seen me mad would prefer me yelling at them than my stares and monotones. but it isnt easy to get me mad, u could do almost anything to me and i wouldnt care. but hurt my family, my friends, or mon amour, and then i am mad.

Just a pointer with all the fight talk. Fighting isn't about winning. Sometimes the winner comes away the loser. Fighting for what’s right win or lose means you've won if you chose to walk away. It takes a bigger man to turn around and walk away from a fight. Fighting is not healthy. Self defence is different.

Pyrox its good that you like to talk with friends and I'm glad you feel you can trust members here enough to talk.

My door is always open should you need to talk.

Not at all sad. Nor is it pathetic that I leak tears like a lawn sprinkler at sappy movies.

I've always despised the "men are from mars, women are from venus" way of thinking. It only serves to uphold gender stereotypes. In my experience, the differences between individual brains is far greater than the difference between men's brains and women's brains collectively. And cultural stereotyping accounts for the differences in brains by gender. Granted, there is a valid argument that the chemical environment of the brain includes hormones, which can mean some measurable differences in thought process. But I still maintain that the variation from one individual to another is far more significant.

Definitely true. It just seems like the differences now are even greater than they were before. But maybe that's only for a select few.
The differences between one person and another despite any gender are incredible. =)

thanx haunter, though for now i think im done venting, i think ill try to sleep, for i am tired!!! lol about week without sleep, i hate my insomnia

Not a problemo. lol go get some sleep things are always bright after sleep.

well, all i know is that i wont sleep in bed, ill end up falling asleep here in my chair while im still on the comp lol. my bed is too soft, i sleep better on beds that r rock hard

though trusting doctors isnt my thing, unless i know for sure i need it. i prefer talking to friends because they dont have to listen but want to, unlike psychiatrists who r supposed to so they dont truly care. it isn;t about trsut all of the time hunni. byt the sounds of things you need medical help. it only starts off little, a little bit of depression, then it gets worse and worse and all of a sudden you feel like life isn't worth living, which you have allready said before you came close to ending everything. i would seriously urge you to go and see a proper doctor. and yes, they do care, if they didn't then they wouldn't be doing that job now would they? seriously, medical help is the best you can have hear as the doctors know what they are doing. this isn't just a case of your feeling a little sad, this is an illness, and left untreated can turn really nasty. i know you don't want to, but seeing a psychiatrist is the best bet. :)
Heather

well i havea psyxchiatrist, and thats y i say i dont trust them, for he doesnt help at all

What about changing to another psychiatrist after all they are supposed to help

he tries, but u c, other than i get these moods of depression every so often i am fine, so he cant really do anything. plus we cant cahnge him, he is court appointed

court appointed?

yea, here in the us since im a minor and before i moved in with my mom i was with my grandfather who isnt the richest person on earth i have a court appointed psychiatrist, as well as a lawyer, though they r both pointless now. my father is getting away with everything like i knew he would, though if he ever tries to get anywhere near me or my family, or anyone i love and care about for that matter, and he hurts them, i wont hesitate to hurt him. i am not afraid of him anymore, i loathe him beyond words. to me he is as good as dead. the way i c it, he is my biological father but he isnt my dad

Well I understand that.

yea. but i dont need any meds, cuz those would seriously mess me up. as it is i cant b drugged up at the moment, there is too much for me to do, i got to b there for my friends who need me, i need to b able to help my mom take care of my 4 younger sibs, school is starting soon, mon amour needs me, so i cant go get some meds. plus i havent needed them. the only reason y i was suicidal two years ago was because i was at my dads. i slit my wrists, and i bled out and was in my room for three days until i regained consciousness. and u know wut, my father never even noticed. all he told me when i finally was able to come out was to go do my chores. i wasnt able to do them fast enough for him so i got beaten that day for it, and i think i passed out again, i dont remember that day that much. but no matter where i look, i shouldve died. i had lost enough blood i shouldve been dead, and after losing that blood, my father beating me also shouldve done it. but i got a strong will to live i guess, ppl say i got a spark that never goes out, no matter how messed up i am. now, i will never attempt it again, for i will never have a reason to, but honestly, i cant deny that it felt good when i did it, when the blood was flowing, it felt..great, i had been happy, i know its probably some chemical ur body releases to ease the pain, but still, it is the reason y i am a masochist, i am trying to regain that feeling, but i will never cut myself to do it.

Dammit. I just got grounded for three days for being in another blokes room during study.
*sigh* Boarding school.
On a related note; advice on homesickness?

Lots. I missed my family alot while I was away always do. Best advice Keep a little room in your head tell no one and when you close your eyes your in that room watching your family. Its not brilliant but it kinda works for me. Other than that a picture in your wallet should do.

Can you call your parents? or friends? Or maybe just take heaps of photos when you go back to school.
When I got homesick after living with my sister for a few weeks, I just decided that I was going home. But It's different for you though.

As for depression, I was depressed for roughly three or so years. The reason was that my previous alcaholic 'partner' mentally abused me. Made me queastion everything I did. He did other stuff which I don't particularly want to go into but I knwo what it's like to be depressed. I still have a touch of it but I'm better than what I was a year ago.

I kept a journal for one thing. I didn't always keep it neat, even now I can barely recognise actual words! Music was also a massive help.

I actually went to a doctor once and he was not moved that I was sitting there bawling my eyes out. He just looked at his watch and said that I should of booked a double appointment. I was hurt and confused, at school I was taught that you could always go to a doctor and talk to them if you a depressed. Obviously he skipped that day in medical school. However, last year I was just having a checkup and mentioned what the doctor said to my new doctor and he was appauled. So not all doctors are ignorant so-n-so's.

Another thing was that after a while, everyone gets sick of listening, making you feel worse. It's like you have to pay people to care. For me, it felt like that my mum didn't care and I actually went and lived with my dad and worked with him at a vineyard.

Eventually I became better, more confident, I got a job. I was having fun but around november I was goign downhill again. I was feeling pretty much like,. what's the point? who's going to love someone that's overweight? I pretty much gave up and then my current boyfriend and I met and to this day I believe that if he did not become my boyfriend that I probably wouldn't be here today. So yeah, depression sucks and for me, I believe that it never quite goes away but there are always going to be fantastic days amongst the bad and shadowed.

You are not alone mate. If you want to vent, I'm willing to listen. regardless alright?
:D

Ugh. I have a headache, and I already know this day is going to be a bad one, which is fine. I'm used to bad days. Let's face it, my life has been absolute crap up until now. I'll admit that with the amazing relationship I have with my boyfriend, things have gotten better. But he lives so far away, and my home life is still a mess. And because of what I've been through, I'm always just so... I don't know... Depressed and scared, and I hate to drag my boyfriend into it. I try and act happier than I actually am.

I just can't help but cry. Cry because I lost my baby. Cry because I'm about on daddy number three, and the last two haven't been the best. Cry because daddy number one loved me more than he should have. Cry because daddy number two didn't love me at all. Cry because I ALWAYS have a tendency to trust the wrong people and end up having to watch my life crumble once more. Cry because addiction is too hard to fight, so why fight it? Cry because who-I-was creeps out of me sometimes. Cry because I'm so afraid. Cry because everything so much harder than it should be.

And I try... I try and write to let off steam. Just about every poem I've written is based off something real like that saddness, my constant paranoia, or my damn father. Hell, the only novel I've posted on here is based off my own life, and I read it over and I can't stand the person I see there. She drives me crazy. And, of course, she's still a part of me. I hate that.

I don't know... I'm in a terrible mood today. Bear with me.

Other than your boyfriend, do you have other friends you can vent to? Writing about the bad times is an outlet, but it helps to have someone react in real time; not for advice, but just to know they hear you and feel with you and understand.

I know it would be a lot to put on your boyfriend, and in truth, you shouldn't put it all on his shoulders.

If you put pressure on a single narrow stake, you will drive it into the ground. If you spread the same pressure over 20o stakes, they will support it, with no one stake taking too great a part of the burden. If one stake is rotten and crumbles, you still have the rest to support the weight.

This is the key to a support network. You don't overly burden any single support, nor do you have to invest all your trust in any one of them. You spread out the burden, and the trust, and remain secure. Also, by investing a small amount of trust at a time, you find out where you can or cannot rely before you've made yourself vulnerable by trusting too much in the wrong person.

I know it's strange, and even may anger you, to hear about a positive side to what you've been through. But my experience is that those who survive such horrors are exremely resilient people. They are survivors in the truest sense. It is a price I wish no one would ever have to pay, but having been forced to pay it, you may as well own the strength that you have been forced to develop.

Your writing shows that resilience. As hurt as you have been, you have not crumbled.

i am just done with ppl and their stupid games. maybe it is better that i am alone, because that is all that ever happens. i need to figure out how not to care about ppl as much as i do. ill never love myself, but it sux taht in the end im alone. not many of my friends talk to me anymore, but hey, im used to it, they can hate me all they want

You need to learn the difference between others games and playing games Pyrox you need to consentrate on yourself and people who do not belong to an internet world.

No comment. Well, that's not true. I have a comment. It's just not very nice.

Mate, I know how you feel, I probably visit that place about once a month or so. I went there years ago. But youneed to start pulling yourself up and out of this dark hole. Seeing as you think that no-one else gives a rats butt, then you need to make the move. Stuff everyone else. Your not doing it for anyone else other than yourself.
You need to see the doctor, the psychiatrist whomever but you need to make an effort to want to get better because otherwise their advice and efforts are going to go only so far.
as for your friends, if youa re continuously like this then maybe they need a break from hearing it. You need to vent, keep a journal. You don't even have to write, draw in it. Make large scratchy inchoherant scribbles. It might make you feel better.
I know life sucks. But Life's a bitch but you die trying. You gotta keep goign because the world needs people that care. Yes it's hard but it's true. You just got to be strong enough to keep caring and to keep going along.

I'll say this: Look on the bright side of things. It could be MUCH worse. Trust me. I know. You many not have MANY friends talking to you, but at least you have some that are. Be thankful for that. Everyone has their break downs. I had one this morning even. Even still, that is no excuse to ALWAYS be negative. Life sucks, but like I said, it could be worse. Be grateful for what you have. Live for that. Be happy about it, and I promise you more people will talk to you. Let's face it... Who wants to be in the company of depression?

I'll say this: Look on the bright side of things. It could be MUCH worse. Trust me. I know. You many not have MANY friends talking to you, but at least you have some that are. Be thankful for that. Everyone has their break downs. I had one this morning even. Even still, that is no excuse to ALWAYS be negative. Life sucks, but like I said, it could be worse. Be grateful for what you have. Live for that. Be happy about it, and I promise you more people will talk to you. Let's face it... Who wants to be in the company of depression?

Sound advice. very sound. ;)

Agreed.

Sound advice. very sound. ;)

She's chalk full of advice.

xD

pyrox,

Start by respecting and liking yourself. Until you do that, you will not be ready to like and respect others; nor can you expect them to care for you if you don't even respect yourself. When you treat yourself better, you'll treat others better as well.

is it ok for me to vent a little here 'cos i am about to blow today.

see, the thing is my boyfriends mate, Scott, is having a few mates over his house on Wednesday night. we were gunna put on some music and have a laugh. my mates mam was going to pick me and Livia up at about 11 and i was sleeping at hers. the thing is, after telling my dad the truth about what i was doing (i lied to begin with) he flipped and said i cannot go. he said he was also annoyed that i lied. the thing was, i lied because i knew he would react like that. he won't give me a proper reason why he doesn't want me going there, we were only gonna lounge around for a bit. but not only has he riuned the night for me, he has also knacked it up for Livia, who cannot go on his own. he is soooooo unreasonable. i mean, we thought we were being responsible by saying that we weren't going to drink and that we would get a lift home and everything, and i told my mam the truth about where we were going. but he just kicked of shouting "no". and when i asked why he just said "because i said no" do you think he should trust me more, is he being unreasonable, or am i expecting too much do you think?
Heather

Well, I don't think he was being unreasonable. Certainly shouldn't have lied the first time. Is he supposed to trust you after you lied? I don't blame you for it, though. I've been there before. In fact, I've lied to my mother more times than I can count... But that's why she doesn't trust me at all. Just work to earn his trust back before you try to go out again.

well everyone, a few things to clarify. first off, talk to any of my friends, they can all tell u that i am a gentleman and im always there for them. i dont hurt my friends, and i forgive them for pretty much anything. i respect them and care for them i guess because i never got that and still dont really get too much of it. kinda like me making them all happy, making up for wut ive lost. i am wut few of my friends call a protecter, for i am very protective of my friends and im a very caring person when it comes to helping them out. if i, depressed or not, can talk my friends out of killing themselves, that means i am at least doing something good. most of u dont know me well, so u dont understand wut i am doing when i vent. the only things i seriously need help with is my sleeping problems, my irregular heartbeat, and my frequent migraines that i get at least 3 times a week. everyonce in a while i just need to vent, and usually i have someone to vent to but currently they are unavailale due to work and such so i was just venting out on here. im just overly stressed out, and irritated at how ppl play their games and i am done being a part of them. what i seriously need is a long vacation, not like the last one to tennessee, cuz while i was there i ended up convincing my friend that he shouldnt kill himself and that we (being me and his family) need him and care about him. ive known himm since i was very little, he is a brother to me so id do anything for him. now, thank you all for all the advice, but i am truly sorry for causing u all worry, u dont really know me so u all are really worried.





and now, for u heather, i understand y u r not allowed, but i still dont really think it was fair either. he is being a little unreasonable and u should still b able to go in my opinion, cuz u did end up telling him the truth. he is wayy to overreacting

Pyrox, you seem like a wonderful person and for venting, it's pretty darn good feeling after you've done it!

I hated turning into a blubbering mess because I knew that I would get over it:( But glad you are feeling a little better (seemingly) and it's fantastic that you are such a great friend. YAY YOU! :D :) :D

thanx :D:D:D u seem like a pretty good person urself

Can I go live in a secluded cabin in the mountains, or would that be socially unacceptable?

well, it depends on u, how nature-ish/outdoorish r u?

Lol twas a random thoughtless question.

I guess I'm just tired of all these socially acceptable rules that must be followed.

*frustration ensues*

same here, but wut sux is we cant truly escape them

I would so want to go live in a secluded cabin were it looks out over a beautiful lake surrounded by trees.

What do you mean you cant truly escape them?! Of course you can, it's just incredibly hard.

Also, Pyrox. Mate, if a couple of assholes in your adolescene are your greatest problems, consider yourself lucky.Sure, its fair enough to be down every now and again, everyone is. No point staying there though. Like baywriter said, nobody wants to keep company with depression.

Well thats about right.

Frost is right. Consider yourself lucky. Hell, I've been through worse. And even though I have, I still feel lucky because it could be even worse than what I've been through. Sometimes I forget that fact and sink into depression, but I always manage to remind myself again. It makes me feel better when I count my blessings, which is why I'm such a naturally free-spirited person. I like to try my best and live for what I have now, instead of focusing on what's happened to me or even the "what ifs" of the future. Live for today.

its not a bunch of adolescents anyways, its my screwed up family, but im feeling a bit better so yea.

nobody wants to keep company with depression.
Not entirely true. There is such a thing as "misery loves company" and codependency, but they are not healthy pursuits.

well, like i said i am doing better, and cant wait until i get to talk to ma petite copine (the literal translation to english is not wut it really means)

Well I wish you well Pyrox

Not entirely true. There is such a thing as "misery loves company" and codependency, but they are not healthy pursuits.

Yeah, but that's the depressed person that wants the company. The happy people don't want to hang around the depressed people.

its not a bunch of adolescents anyways, its my screwed up family, but im feeling a bit better so yea.

I'm certain almost everyone has a screwed up family in some form or another.

well, my family is more screwed up than most, and even the lil bit ive said on here int all of it so yea but o well i talked to ma petite copine so im doing great now

well, my family is more screwed up than most, and even the lil bit ive said on here int all of it so yea but o well i talked to ma petite copine so im doing great now

Well, you need to look at some other families before you go around thinking that.

i never said mine was the worst, i was saying than most, not saying in general but say worse than most i know of

i never said mine was the worst, i was saying than most, not saying in general but say worse than most i know of

Ah, okay. I was about to say... You need to meet my family.

i would never say my family was the worst because even if they were i would always find ppl that i believe had it even worse tahn me even if they say that they didnt. im extroverted and i care alot about ppl and i am protective because i never had anyone to protect me. it gets annoying at times but ppl need to just accept me for who i am. i am not clinically depressed i just need a day every once ina while to vent, most of the time i amnot bothered by anything, and certain ppl all it takes is to hear their voice and i am ecstatic. we al need a day to vent everyonce in a while, and it keeps me frrom doing other things to feel better like drinking

Drinking only works if you can control the drink but i would advise against it.

You certainly have reason for depression. I too have had it hard. My sister and I are very close but my other two brothers and I do not get along. My youngest can do no wrong in my families eyes. My sister sees this and maybe thats why we are close but we are all so very different I wish sometimes i had her guts.

I had to move back home because i lost my job company went bust and I couldn't pay my rent so im back at home with my family and younger brothers and now we are at each others throats. I need another job so i can move out but its very hard getting work at the moment.

And i really hate been near my brothers they are yobs and bring trouble home but the family apart from my sister just wont see it.

well, me and my oldest younger brother dont get along at all, he and i went through the same thing with my dad, though i made sure that i protected him as much as possible so his time with our father was much better, especially towards the end when my father proceeded to disown me and give my bro sean w/e he wanted. here at my moms its much better but none of my siblings ever get into trouble for anything they do yet if i so much as sneeze wrong i swear my mom is on my bak about it. she also expects the house to b clean with 5 kids in the house so its impossible though she wont accept it cuz she is a neat freak.

That would be frustrating!

*wants to say something but knows she shouldn't because it'll be considered rude*

lol. Alcahol is a depressant. I'm not sure of the correct spelling though! But I don't like to associate with alcaholics anymore because of my previous partner. I don't mind the odd drink everynow and then and told my boyfriend that I don't mind him drinking a beer or so but if he continued drinking I would tell him to call me when he got help.

*wants to say something but knows she shouldn't because it'll be considered rude*

dont worry about it, just say it, as long as u r saying something about me it is fine, though u wil have to ask other ppl to talk about them lol dont worry u couldnt insult me, takes alot lol.


and i am no alcoholic, as it is i havent been to a good party in months, all ive had is a lil red wone recently and i wish i had more. if i were 21 i would get it myself

Hmmm red Wine a great drink especially the vintage kind.

yes, definitely :D one of my favorites, good for many occassions

dont worry about it, just say it, as long as u r saying something about me it is fine, though u wil have to ask other ppl to talk about them lol dont worry u couldnt insult me, takes alot lol.


and i am no alcoholic, as it is i havent been to a good party in months, all ive had is a lil red wone recently and i wish i had more. if i were 21 i would get it myself

I just meant.. See.. this is me thinking out loud-
I see people who are depressed, angry at the world, and most of the time it's about really stupid stuff. Maybe it's a girl, they're arguing with someone, they didn't get that raise they wanted. And I sit there.. and I can't stop thinking "You're alive! What else do you want?! There's a war on! And you're in your comfy little chair complaining!"
I just.. We've lived through so much, we've seen so many wars, so many billions of people killed.. and all we think about is ourselves, and how bad our life is.
Granted, I do it too.. but sometimes.. it just really gets to me.

First a man takes a drink
Then the drink takes a drink
Finally the drink takes the man

Agreed with Cogito. I've had personal experience with addiction. I wasn't an alcoholic, but I had severe drug problems. Be careful. Some of the worst mistakes I've made were made when I was drunk or high. Actually, the best advice I can give is to steer clear of ALL alcohol and drugs, especially if you're underage. Not to be a hypocrite, of course.

i am an very occassional drinking. if i am addicted to anything it would b love and reading

i am an very occassional drinking. if i am addicted to anything it would b love and reading

Well, you shouldn't do it at all if you're underage.

well, we all do things we shouldnt do, ya know. plus the way i c it its better i drink than do drugs, though niether is good per say, i will never do drugs and never have.

well, we all do things we shouldnt do, ya know. plus the way i c it its better i drink than do drugs, though niether is good per say, i will never do drugs and never have.

Well, yeah. I'm living proof. Even still, drinking can lead to bad things. And it's good that you'll never do drugs. I don't recommend it. Ruined my life. Killed my best friend.

omg, im so sry :(

Oh oh.. something weird happened...
I had a music theory class yesterday, and I was asked by the head of the music school if I'd like to start teaching in September. o.0 The really really great thing about this is, it would pay for my piano lessons, so it'd even out.
My teacher will even take the teacher courses with me.
So yes.. much to think about.. But you know what, I think I'll do it.. You only get this chance so many times.

Congratulations! What a marvellous opportunity!

Thanks!
It's crazy to think about.

I'm still in disbelief. : )

yes, congrats!!!!

Okay, we(my girlfriend and me) have a bit of a problem. I want to get people's opinion on it.

See, as a few of you probably know, I live in Nevada. My girlfriend lives in Florida(we met over the Net).

Well, we are deeply in love with eachother. But, we've never met yet, and the only times I think we will meet in the next 2 years is when I hopefully go to California this Christmas while she's down there for the Rose Bowl. After that, my family's gonna fly her down here so we can go to my Junior Prom together. The next time we'll see eachother after that is, at the latest, when I fly down there for her Senior Prom.

My problem is obvious: We won't get to see eachother often. I mean, even when I talk to her on the phone, I'm missing her terribly because I've not only never met her, but we won't get to see eachother too often until I turn 18 and we finally move in together somewhere. Does anyone have any solution to cure our "lonliness"? I don't want to live my life with anyone else, nay, I don't want to live for anyone else but her. But I fear that our relationship can't work because of the distance between us. Everyone says it won't work, but we have faith it will. But I'm just not sure we'll be able to make it two years without one of us ending up cheating on the other.

Please. Does anyone have a potential solution?

well, honestly, longterm relationships are hard, but not impossible. every relationship i have been in hasnt exactly been long term, but due to not being allowed to date i barely ever saw or spoke to any of my gf's. idk how really to solve ur problem, other tahn talking to them everyday as often as possible. And i dont think either of you would end up cheating cuz u said u were deeply in love with eachother, and if that is so then love can conquer all and survive ast distances. now, idk if that was any help to u, but i hopefully aided you in some way. if anything, i understand how u feel, and i feel sry for u, but i do believe taht u 2 will b able to do it, 2 years does seem to fly fast when u think about it, it just never seems like it

Everyone says it won't work, but we have faith it will. But I'm just not sure we'll be able to make it two years without one of us ending up cheating on the other.

That is not going to happen. I've told you that a million times. I love you too much. And if YOU cheat on ME, then I will have to personally kick your ass. xD (Kidding.) But I don't know what I would do. But I have faith in you. You're the most honest and loyal man I've ever known.

See likelighttotheflies, i dont think u really have anything to worry about. yes, the two of ur r a long ways away, but u have eachother still, and u both r still loving eachother, that is all that matters. i am happy for the two of u and wish u the best

Thanks.

And I apologize. I was just a little...lonely. But, I think I'm a little better now. So, no worries. At least not now anyways. xD

it was no problem, i may b a depressed peson but i always try to help others, and in this case i could relate

LikeLightToTheFlies I know how hard it can be to be honest. Me and my new partner/boyfriend whatever they call them these days (i'm so out of touch with the whole title thing) lives on the opposite side of Australia to me.
He came over last week and hence my lack of activity on the forum. I too met him on the net and we only began in an official relationship after he went back (yeah I don't get that part either but still).

It is really hard to know what to do in those situations, but they can work out really well if you are both prepared to work at it. It is easier for me I and my partner/boyfriend as he is 24 and I am 23, but I also have 2 kids and he has a daughter so it makes it hard for either of us to move really.

But I think in your situation if you just bide your time and be patient then it will work out. I know neither of you want to hear this part but I am going to say it anyways. Sometimes these types of relationships don't work as one or the other may meet someone they really get on with well that is closer to them. If this ever happens all you can do is wish the other well and be glad that the other is happy.

Though I think that you two are very comitted to seeing this relationship work and I do wish you both all the best.

Communication is the best key to any successful relationship and if the two of you can communicate with each other than you have the basis for a very sturdy relationship. Never lie to each other and be honest always.
Some say that relationships like this can be excellent as you talk alot more than you would if you were close by, so yeah just enjoy it and open up to each other as much as possible and you should be fine hey.

Completely off topic and everything but..-
Exam in eight hours! AH!!
*big deal to me, as I've only previously done ONE exam my entire life*

Oh well good luck with your exam then. They are a breeze really. I always enjoyed them to be honest. I work well under pressure.

I am sure you will do fine though.

Good luck on the exam, dushechka! You'll do fine, I'm sure.

good luck

yes i too would like to wish you the best of good luck.

Good luck! -big hugs-

I've been getting myself all nervous for this new school. I've met the two supervisors and then one teacher. They seem pretty cool, but I'm more nervous about the students. This school is for those that have messed up in school, and are behind or they just have learning problems. I have this feeling that I'm going to fail. What if I find out I really am that stupid when I take those tests to see what level I'm on??!! Rofl. The idea of that almost puts me in tears.

I think it's just the newness that makes me nervous.

Exam went really well! I'll know if I passed in six weeks.

Thanks for the good wishes. : )

I knew you would do well :)

great!!! i bet u aced it :D

ERGH! This day has sucked! Sucked, sucked, sucked! And just when I thought it couldn't suck anymore, it did! But I guess that's how life works, isn't it? So here's the scenario:

My mother got her heart broken AGAIN today. She was supposed to marry this guy, who would've been my third father, and then what does he do? He tells her he can't because it would break up his family. Blah, blah, blah. Even though he promised her that this time he wouldn't change his mind. He's already done this a few times. Then you have my ex-stepfather who always gives her crap, trying to make her feel bad for leaving him, even though he was a freakin' jerk off.

Anyway, I had to deal with my mother coming home and being depressed, ignoring her daughters because what is she supposed to do? She's falling apart thanks to that idiot and she doesn't have time to think about us. And my little sister and I can't do anything except live with her depression and hope it gets better, meanwhile getting depressed ourselves. I'd like to have someone to turn to, but my sister screams and cusses me out any chance she gets, my best friend (girl) just moved to Oklahoma, my boyfriend lives in Nevada, and my very best friend is--oh, that's right--dead. And, this is rich, it will have been one year since his death on Saturday, yet another thing I will have to deal with alone.

Anyway, the day gets better when my older sister and brother, who are in Atlanta trying out for American Idol, get into a huge fight over what? My brother's ex-fiance. It was so utterly stupid. Then my sister, of course, starts being overly dramatic as always. She leaves the hotel room and gets herself lost. She doesn't know where she is, my brother doesn't want to find her because he's so miffed, and my mother has to try and persuade my sister over the phone to go back to the hotel room.

My sister was all, "I can't, I can't! Everyone yells at me! I can't handle it! It's too hard!" Ha! Well, if she had kept her big mouth shut, then none of this would've happen in the first place! Do I have sympathy for her? No. She's got pretty damn good next to me, not that she would care. She doesn't even speak to me. That's when my mother starts screaming at everyone because she's so upset. Atlanta is a dangerous city and her precious daughter is lost.

I just ran back to my room. I honestly don't even know how it turned out. *sighs* I do hope she found her way back to the hotel room, though. Now, I'm online, and I just got an absolutely lovely PM. And when I say lovely, I'm being sarcastic.

ERGH! This day has sucked! Sucked, sucked, sucked! And just when I thought it couldn't suck anymore, it did! But I guess that's how life works, isn't it? So here's the scenario:

My mother got her heart broken AGAIN today. She was supposed to marry this guy, who would've been my third father, and then what does he do? He tells her he can't because it would break up his family. Blah, blah, blah. Even though he promised her that this time he wouldn't change his mind. He's already done this a few times. Then you have my ex-stepfather who always gives her crap, trying to make her feel bad for leaving him, even though he was a freakin' jerk off.

Anyway, I had to deal with my mother coming home and being depressed, ignoring her daughters because what is she supposed to do? She's falling apart thanks to that idiot and she doesn't have time to think about us. And my little sister and I can't do anything except live with her depression and hope it gets better, meanwhile getting depressed ourselves. I'd like to have someone to turn to, but my sister screams and cusses me out any chance she gets, my best friend (girl) just moved to Oklahoma, my boyfriend lives in Nevada, and my very best friend is--oh, that's right--dead. And, this is rich, it will have been one year since his death on Saturday, yet another thing I will have to deal with alone.

Anyway, the day gets better when my older sister and brother, who are in Atlanta trying out for American Idol, get into a huge fight over what? My brother's ex-fiance. It was so utterly stupid. Then my sister, of course, starts being overly dramatic as always. She leaves the hotel room and gets herself lost. She doesn't know where she is, my brother doesn't want to find her because he's so miffed, and my mother has to try and persuade my sister over the phone to go back to the hotel room.

My sister was all, "I can't, I can't! Everyone yells at me! I can't handle it! It's too hard!" Ha! Well, if she had kept her big mouth shut, then none of this would've happen in the first place! Do I have sympathy for her? No. She's got pretty damn good next to me, not that she would care. She doesn't even speak to me. That's when my mother starts screaming at everyone because she's so upset. Atlanta is a dangerous city and her precious daughter is lost.

I just ran back to my room. I honestly don't even know how it turned out. *sighs* I do hope she found her way back to the hotel room, though. Now, I'm online, and I just got an absolutely lovely PM. And when I say lovely, I'm being sarcastic.

Oh, Bayleigh.

I'm so sorry. I feel so absolutely helpless. It's one thing to be able to comfort you over the phone, but another to see you write out all the day's events and show me just how bad it really is.

I feel so useless. Cause not a damn thing I can do can help. Don't say it does, because it doesn't. I might be able to help with the pain for a moment, but then something else happens, and once again I feel useless, while offering words that probably don't help.

*Sighs* I am, without a doubt, a terrible boyfriend. You deserve someone much better. Someone who can actually help you.

I think...it's time I stepped down, and let someone else. You say you can't find anyone else, but I know you can. I know you can find someone who'll make you happier than I can, cause I know that no matter what I say to you, you're always gonna be miserable because I'm not there to be with you.

I think it's time for me to step down, and for you to find someone who can do what I can't.

Baywriter

We are only truly alone, when we chose it.
Talk to a pastor, or a councillor, or anyone who will listen.

Frost is right.

I hope you felt really good after venting Bay. poor thing, I think you need a hug! And chocolate.. and icecream..

I'm so sorry that you feel alone. It's frustrating and it sucks big time and it's horrible that you have to go through this.We are all here for you if youneed to vent or talk.

*hugz*
~Doz

Hello Bayleigh,

That does indeed sound like a truly awful weekend, and I offer my sympathies. More important, perhaps, just the fact that I, and others here, are listening.

It sounds like you're trying to carry everyone's lives on your shoulders, or feel you're being compelled to do so. They have to sort things out for themselves, they can't unload it all on you. And you can't carry it all for them, no matter how much you feel for them.

Anniversaries like the one coming up are difficult. Tru to focus not on what you have lost, but on the things that made this friend special. Celebrate the friend's life with fond memories. They will still make you sad, but that mourning is necessary and normal.

If you have received a PM that you consider inappropriate or hostile, please report it to the moderators, and whatever action that may be necessary will be taken.

I think it's time for me to step down, and for you to find someone who can do what I can't.

Seriously, you better not. I don't know what I would do. I will talk to you about this more on the phone.

Seriously, you better not. I don't know what I would do. I will talk to you about this more on the phone.

Its good to know you have friends you can talk to over this.

Oh my goodness it sounds like you have been through one hell of a weekend, I am so sorry that things have been so hard for you at the moment and I truely hope that they get easier for you.

Life can throw some extremely hard obsticles in our way but to have somewhere or someone to talk to about it can really help. LikeFliesToTheLight it sounds like she really needs you right now and that you are the only one that she can really talk to about it.
Be there for her.

And remember you have everyone here on the forum to talk to if you need to. We are all here to help anyway we can. :)

I hope things get a little easier and hope that you found releasing all of this to have slightly helped you out.

Torana

i cant really add, they are all rite

i cant really add, they are all rite

Indeed

I nearly did something very bad tonight.
As some of you know, I've been having some rather bad luck this month and being jerked around about a possible job isn't helping.
I just wanted to make something happen. I was quite literally at the boiling point.
I don't really know why, but at some point while I was already to go, I decided not to. It wasn't out of fear, it wasn't from a change of heart I just decided to wait a little bit longer and see what happens.

Similar things like this have happened. Things will go poorly so I'll go for long walks hoping that something happens that will just let me react. Nothing ever does, but the walking usually relaxed me.
Tonight was different, I was going to make something happen. It was kind of scary.

Once I get a job, this will go away. But for now, I'm still a bundle of pent up energy.

So how do you deal with stuff like this?

Depends, is it frustration? or just extra physical energy?

perhaps exercising will help, walking seems to calm you, maybe take part in something of the martial arts related exercise or boxing or something. Maybe just write everythign down in a journal. Doesn't have to be neat but yeah, I suggest and recomend that idea to nearly everyone. I hate feeling like that. I usually end up getting grumpy and taking it out on others. :rolleyes: but yeah. Not sure, exercise might help though, somthing a bit more than walking maybe. I hope everything goes well though. :)

1. You get hold of some death metal.
2. You lock the doors turn it on loud and just go nuts!!!!!

PS: this is a serious reply. I have done this. I work off the principal that afterwards you'll be so exhausted and feel so foolish for having a tantrum you wont worry about the issue before you did this.

this is a serious reply. I have done this. I work off the principal that afterwards you'll be so exhausted and feel so foolish for having a tantrum you wont worry about the issue before you did this.

Good idea!

Good idea!

Not sure if this is sarcastic.

lol! You'll never know. lol

DoZ its both. I've been sick for the last week, so I haven't been able to do much. But a large part of it is simple mental frustration.
I haven't had real privacy in 3 months. Lack of money. No one that I could call a friend, and the last people who came close were in the first 2 weeks of my travels. And no bloody job.
It kind of adds up.
Hopefully once I'm over this cold I'll be able to work of some of this excess energy. And by then I should have a job, so I'll either have an apartment of my own, or at least upgrade to a private room.

Frost thats a good idea. I've done similar in the past. Unfortunately I am currently living in a dormatory with three other people, and paper thin walls. And I can't risk losing the deposit I have on the room, or I'll be literally penniless.
So yay.

Thanks for trying.

lol. I feel for you! Geez, I hope that you will be able to get a job and your own space soon! Hope it's big enough for all of us to come and visit! I wish you teh very best of good luck Dom. Your a great guy so you have friedns, just there in spirit! Best of luck mate though! It wont be long before the good starts to come!

~Doz

DoZ since any apartment would be held by the school that may cause some problems. But I'm sure they'd let you stay in one of the classrooms.

Well I think stuff has finally turned around. I'm still broke, but I had two interviews today.
The first didn't go as well as I would like, but I survived. I should have word tomorrow.
The second went much better. I just need to see a contract, get some more info and I could be in the city by the end of the week.

And I'm going to Nanjing. I already have the train ticket, and I'll get a bit of money in my pocket from the huge deposit the hostel insisted on. So I decided to not even attempt to return the ticket. I need a change of scenery.

All of this has already helped ease some of the frustration. So hurray.

Thanks and take care.

Good on you! Best wishes and take care Dom.

Isn't life fun..
Soooo.. I'm not sure if I talked about this yet, but I'm now teaching three students piano (two of them are six years old, the other is seven). It's a little nerve wracking because I feel so incredibly responsible in making them play semi well. In making them learn.
It's also pretty frustrating how I have to completely jump out of my comfort bubble in order to interact.
Oh, and bus routes? Yeah, I'll be doing those from now on. I hate when my routine changes, and this is just throwing me completely around and back again.

*shudder*

Ok well, I'm just going to say something because I'm frustrated.

Tonight I went to Toronto with two friends from work (and my sister, as she's friends with them as well). Anyway, to make a long story short, we left at 6:00 and got home at 9:45. My mom freaked out a little bit and accused my "friends" of being "reckless and way too independent." Now, they're 24 and 26. I realize that's "old" and I understand where she's coming from. But it's time she realizes there are NO other people in my life who I can appreciate and have fun with. I like older friends, simply because they have so many experiences to share.

So now she wants me to find some "young" friends. As if that will be an easy task. (it literally took me SIX months to actually talk to them in a semi-friendly way).

*frustrated sigh*

Well I can see where your parents are coming from really. They would like you to have some friends around your age. I think that the main thing you do is sit down with your parents and talk to them about their concerns as a mature person.
Do not get stroppy and raise your voice in the conversation. Remain calm and don't fidgit about. If you approach them maturely they will treat you that way.

so this is how this thread works ei??

alright...
so guys

See in school they enforce a type of military program
wherein all the seniors are taught the very basics of militarization
and so I decided to join this Corps this year...And what luck!
I got picked and after an extensive summer of training I am now an officer
whoopee!!!!
even If am in a low position hahahaha

well thats all

Newguy that would be more appropriate in the chat thread.
This thread is more for if you have a problem and want advice.

Well I can see where your parents are coming from really. They would like you to have some friends around your age. I think that the main thing you do is sit down with your parents and talk to them about their concerns as a mature person.
Do not get stroppy and raise your voice in the conversation. Remain calm and don't fidgit about. If you approach them maturely they will treat you that way.

It was just really odd. She kept saying she wasn't angry (but her tone said differently). Anyway, at the moment things are semi-good.
She needs to realize I don't like or even want "younger" friends. I'm tired of all the fluff younger people talk about. I want nothing to do with it.

Anyway.. I think I'm done venting. Thanks for replying Torana. Much appreciated. : )

Newguy that would be more appropriate in the chat thread.
This thread is more for if you have a problem and want advice.

oh thank ye kindly!

It was just really odd. She kept saying she wasn't angry (but her tone said differently). Anyway, at the moment things are semi-good.
She needs to realize I don't like or even want "younger" friends. I'm tired of all the fluff younger people talk about. I want nothing to do with it.

Anyway.. I think I'm done venting. Thanks for replying Torana. Much appreciated. : )

I can understand that dushechka completely. I was the same and still am now. I don't have many friends my own age. I never have really. I was so sick of all the conversations that go "Like omg did you see the way he looked at me? He is so hot! blah blah" argh I used to get so frustrated with it.

Anyways I have rather a pressing issue at the moment. Something that has broken my heart and I don't know what to do about it really. It has kind of taken me back a lot. Honestly it has had me in tears for quite a few hours.

My son is three years old. We lost my brother, his uncle, three months before he turned two. The thing is that when I went for a drive with my kids we had to go past the accident site. <was a nasty car accident>

On leading up to the site my son kept yelling to stop the car. I was going slow as I always do past there. He then began crying and saying we had to stop to pick up his uncle. I was really freaked by it as I'd never told my son about the area, he had never had any association with the area. Never been there before. Well anyways, my son then reached for the handbrake and was going to pull it up saying that we had to pick him up.

I pulled over as I didn't know what else to do, my son was hysterical. When the car stopped my son opened the door, held it there momentarily and then closed it again and looked at me with a smile and said. "We can go mommy. Uncle ..... is in the car now." We left the area and I've not been back.

I really don't know what to do or what to think of this incident. It is terrifying and extremely upsetting that my son new about this area when he had never had any association with this area before hand.

Does anyone know what I should do?

That's creepy, I must say. I can only say coincidence, as I do not believe in the supernatural or spirits still being here on Earth. Perhaps your son felt an emotional connection with the area? It may be inexplicable, but it can happen. When I lost my best friend, I woke up at the very time he died because I had a bad feeling. There's no way to explain it. Feelings like these spontaneously happen, so maybe there is some sort of emotional connection between people that are close that keeps those people constantly aware of each other.

I just wish I knew what to make of it all really. You could be right Baywriter, maybe I should try and get him to see a councellor. Although not sure if they'd be able to work with a three year old.

You certainly have an emotional connection with the location, and perhaps he picked up on your mood somehow. Young children can be absolutely amazing in perceiving moods, especially in their parents.

It does seem surprisingly detailed, but there may have been enough bits and pieces he knew to assemble a relatively vivid impression.

And there is always room for coincidence in the details, however unlikely it may seem.

Hmmm....maybe you are right Cogito. I just wish I knew for certain why he was going so behaving in that manor. I have made him an appointment to see our doctor over this incident. It really has me concerned about my sons mental state at the moment. I have never seen him behave like that before and it really is worrying.

Thank you.

There are child psycologists that are trained to council children, I'm fairly sure of it. Just go to the docs and ask for a referal.

But there are things that are out there and Children are most sensitive to spirits than most adults. So maybe there is someone out there that can offer you help.

I hope so cause he also tells me that the photo of my grandmother who he doesn't know as he only met 4 times when he was extremely little, is the night lady. He says she talks to him at night.
I am really concerned so hopefully they will be able to help me with my son. If he sees things, I want it to stop. This type of things in my opinion is not healthy for a young child.

Whoa. That is a really bizarre...phenomenon. As Cogito said, it could well be that the child has picked up enough to realise that the location was where his uncle passed. Snippets of conversation, your mood, everyone elses mood, the fact you were driving slowly could all have contributed to the way he acted.

Let us not forget either, that children have vivid imaginations. I remember when I was a kid, I told my parents that my grandfather who I've never met use to talk to me. Of course, he didn't really, I just liked to think he did. Again, children are perceptive indeed; it's possible he mightve heard about her when you and someone else might have been having a conversation about her.

I think you're definitely doing the right thing though, taking him to the doctor(you're a brilliant mother after all). I think there could be cause for a bit of worry, but not panic. Children are funny things.

(Also, on the lighter side, when you resolve the issue, it'd make a great short story plot.)

Thank you Frost. It is appreciated. :) I can only hope that he is doing it for the same reason. But being 3 I just don't know.

You are right, children are funny things.

I really do appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this.

<as for the short story plot...I was thinking the exact same thing :p>

hey...

thanks for this thread ...

well.... i'm feeling down at the moment, i don't know why but i feel like the whole world is against me!!

i had a crush on someguy for a while and i was thinking about him 24/7 and stuff ... anyways somehow i had his email and we chatted he liked me and asked me if im going out with someone (isaid no) and then he said we should think of getting together and i was soooooo happy ( it was like a dream come true) anyways we're together for like 8 months now but theres something that i dont like about him ... he recently (and NOT for the first time) told me that if someone was so perfect for me and i got engaged i should agree but one thing is that i have to tell him first and he said that hes saying that coz he loves me and he also said that (i know im gonna be mad and stuff and my friends will say that i'm crazy for leaving you but if it's ur futur and its good for u then u should go for it)... the reason he's saying that is coz of what happened to him before ... he loved a girl soooo much for 4 years and she left him for another guy and got engaged from the second guy without telling my boyfriend and he got mad and stuff ... he keeps mentioning her every now and then when he gives me advice and he says that he was crazy about her and stuff (it's killing me, it really hurts me)... and he says hes still young to get married (i dont know why he thinks that i wanna get married so badly ) I DONT!!! and i told him and im still young too ... hes sweet and a good listener but the things he does it's just not LOVE .. if he loves someone he'll hold on to her and never let her go ...
and since last week i call him and he doesnt answer .. so i backed off and called him this saturday to check on him and he answered and we had a little chat for a while and then as usual he excused himself. he told me that he knows that im crazy about him and i cant get enough of him and im afraid of him leaving and it's like hes enjoying it :(*cry* it hurts so much i give him everything and get nothing ... a friend of mine told me to stop calling him for a while and that i should wait until he calls and when he does i should excuse myself the same way he does it and tell him that im busy ...( just to let u know i dont call him every second and bother him , if he doesnt answer from the first *sometimes second* time and once in a day sometimes 2,3,4,5..1 week coz i know he doesnt wanna talk or hes busy, i just don't bother him)
he told me that im one of a kind and that he wished he knew me before ... he also travelled last summer and had a picture with a girl with his head close to hers and he told me about it and i was ok coz its just a picture its not like hes gonna love her but its just when he told me he met a girl i said im sure im prettier than her and he was like *im just kidding* and when i saw the picture i told him dont lie * coz honestly this is the best thing about him that he never lies to me* and he said * i only did that coz i was afraid u were gonna be upset* i dont mind him having pictures with other girls coz he used to do it where ever he goes before he met me and i just cant stop him from doing something he used to do ...
what should i do? help me .. am i too nice??
i have to change my way with him thats for sure ...im aware of that

i also have a question ... can a man love for the second time and more than the first one ? can he love me more than this ? and be crazy on me and cant leave me ever?

thanks xxx

Of course a person can love at an equivalent level, maybe even more so, but only if they allow themselves to do so and work to do so. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he is over what happened previously - he's holding onto the pain, and it's now affecting you. It almost seems that he's making you pay for his loss with your emotions for him. I doubt it's on purpose, but if you've talked to him about how it makes you feel and he hasn't made an effort to change, perhaps you should back off.

Moreover, do not retaliate over the phone, no good will come of it -- you may even feel guilty afterward and try to run back to him when it is not merited, keeping yourself there because of remorse.

Adamant's right. Of course a guy can love more a second time. It happened to me. I know it's hard, but you should try not to let past relationships get in the way. If it bothers you, talk to him about it.

i also have a question ... can a man love for the second time and more than the first one ? can he love me more than this ? and be crazy on me and cant leave me ever?
Yes, but in that case I would look real hard to determine what changed before investing much trust.

Thanks all ... i'll try and talk to him and see what happens

and thanks for helping =) really thank u
i guess i have to try and be his friend and listen to his pain and try to solve things out better than sitting and just complaining... hopefully it'll work out... i know he has exams and hes not in the mood for anything so i'll leave it after that...

one thing i dont know how to let him get over the pain, i know he cant forget...
to be honest, sometimes when he talks about his ex i just have this feeling that hes thinking too much about her and maybe he wants her back (and sometimes its not like that at all ) maybe i just have doubts ..

but thanks anyways :D u guys are great i feel like i can help him, i was thinking about me and didn't think about him...
honesty is the key :) got it

Not sure if you're in college, but if so, try to get him into counseling. It's usually more affordable at universities. I know you want to help, and you can, but he may need the aid of a professional as well -- there could be a lot more to the problem than just that situation.

:(:(:( hey you guys, i don't know how to say it.. but i'm really upset tonight, and would love to talk to somebody and get some support....

Sure thing. Here? Elsewhere?

What's up?

well, bluemouth can i PM u? or add your msn addy? or you prefer talking here?

I'll add you on MSN now.

my heart hurts too bad...

Not sure if you're in college, but if so, try to get him into counseling. It's usually more affordable at universities. I know you want to help, and you can, but he may need the aid of a professional as well -- there could be a lot more to the problem than just that situation.
yeah im in collage but i dont know if he'll agree, i dont know how to bring the subject to him... like *maybe if u want to get over it completely ..maybe you should get help from a professional and i'll be there with u ?* like that << i dont know, im not really sure he'll like the idea... i'll try

thanks adamant xxxxx

You could try for a couples counseling session; it would show your support for him, and he might be more eager to join. I'm currently involved in the process and it can be quite helpful to delve into your own mind.

yeah that might work =) thank u
i'll try to convince him to go and we'll try it :) but first i'll talk to him after his exams
thank u, ur a really great guy :)

thanks xxxxx

Haha... thanks. Hope everything turns out for the best.

This site could one day become a part-time writing forum, part-time relationship advice forum. :p

Oh please, no one here writes.

:D:p

That had me laughing.

lol thanks really ... yeah well i feel better now, it really helped

i'll tell u about it when i talk to him and hopefully solve somethings ... erm, if u want to, ofcourse ?

but really if u were here i would've hugged u :p:D and everyone who have helped... u guys r sweet thanks a lot, hope i can help u when u need it :)

thanks xxx

This is what our little community is all about. May not have a myriad of people, but our core members actually care about stuff around here. Guess it's why I've been here almost a year now.

You can tell me about what happens if you'd like - and maybe send e-hugs? :)

it's a great community :) im happy i found this site

i would love to tell u ... when it happens...

ok i'll send ya an e-hug * Eva Hugs adamant* oops sorry i squeezed u and now u cant breath and ur face turned blue!! hehe << this is my thank yous :D

hey...

thanks for this thread ...

well.... i'm feeling down at the moment, i don't know why but i feel like the whole world is against me!!

i had a crush on someguy for a while and i was thinking about him 24/7 and stuff ... anyways somehow i had his email and we chatted he liked me and asked me if im going out with someone (isaid no) and then he said we should think of getting together and i was soooooo happy ( it was like a dream come true) anyways we're together for like 8 months now but theres something that i dont like about him ... he recently (and NOT for the first time) told me that if someone was so perfect for me and i got engaged i should agree but one thing is that i have to tell him first and he said that hes saying that coz he loves me and he also said that (i know im gonna be mad and stuff and my friends will say that i'm crazy for leaving you but if it's ur futur and its good for u then u should go for it)... the reason he's saying that is coz of what happened to him before ... he loved a girl soooo much for 4 years and she left him for another guy and got engaged from the second guy without telling my boyfriend and he got mad and stuff ... he keeps mentioning her every now and then when he gives me advice and he says that he was crazy about her and stuff (it's killing me, it really hurts me)... and he says hes still young to get married (i dont know why he thinks that i wanna get married so badly ) I DONT!!! and i told him and im still young too ... hes sweet and a good listener but the things he does it's just not LOVE .. if he loves someone he'll hold on to her and never let her go ...
and since last week i call him and he doesnt answer .. so i backed off and called him this saturday to check on him and he answered and we had a little chat for a while and then as usual he excused himself. he told me that he knows that im crazy about him and i cant get enough of him and im afraid of him leaving and it's like hes enjoying it :(*cry* it hurts so much i give him everything and get nothing ... a friend of mine told me to stop calling him for a while and that i should wait until he calls and when he does i should excuse myself the same way he does it and tell him that im busy ...( just to let u know i dont call him every second and bother him , if he doesnt answer from the first *sometimes second* time and once in a day sometimes 2,3,4,5..1 week coz i know he doesnt wanna talk or hes busy, i just don't bother him)
he told me that im one of a kind and that he wished he knew me before ... he also travelled last summer and had a picture with a girl with his head close to hers and he told me about it and i was ok coz its just a picture its not like hes gonna love her but its just when he told me he met a girl i said im sure im prettier than her and he was like *im just kidding* and when i saw th