Gothic Short Story- needing some help

[ILTBY]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently writing a short story for Extension English demonstrating my understanding of the Gothic culture and am stuck on where to take it. Any criticism and suggestions are welcome.

Here's what I have so far-

"Werewolves have stalked stories and fables for hundreds of years, invading people's imaginations and spreading fear among the more gullible members of society, yet they have never crept into the realm of reality. But maybe that assumes too much?

When a werewolf is near, you know. A cold breath sweeps across the back of your neck, you feel your lungs slowly contracting and a terrified shiver runs down your spine. As I watch his writhing, distorted body transform into something slightly more human, I wonder how much longer I might be able to keep his secret. I can't quite understand why I continue to witness this violence and destruction being manipulated by him- my love for him is the only possible the only force that could persuade me to persist in enduring this twisted and ugly secret. As I explore my thoughts more deeply, I begin to wonder what will happen if, or maybe even when, someone figures it out.

Guilt overwhelms me when I think about the families of these innocent, unknowing victims. And what about the poor men of the police force who spend their days following bloody trails, leading them to the mangled, shredded bodies? There's the people of the town; what must they be feeling? These people are living in fear of having their lives ripped away from them unexpectedly during the cold and harsh night. And then I think about him. His burden. What is he experiencing every night, tearing these bodies to pieces, feeding off the very people he calls his friends, his colleagues, his neighbours? What is he feeling when he returns home each savage evening, living with the thought that he destroyed a human's life?

He paces the room for several minutes and then strides over to me, placing a deep, meaningful kiss on my lips. He turns towards the bedroom and spreads himself on the bed where yet another restless, haunted sleep awaits him." © J. Eldred

(Not sure if I should copyright my work?)

Cheers,

Josie.

[Banzai]

For the record, adding the copyright bit is up to you. Copyright (I believe) is yours from the moment you set it down, regardless of adding the ©.

As for the story, it's a good start, and I particularly liked the distaste with which you addressed the whole werewolf nature, rather than the typical and tiresome "oh, it's not his fault, it's not him, it doesn't matter" (Looking back, that sounded clearer in my head, really...). Gramatically and in terms of spelling it was perfect, I couldn't find anything wrong. Though if you're trying to show an understanding of the gothic genre, I would try to darken your description a little. Read some of the short stories of Edgar Allan Poe for reference (if you haven't already).

[ILTBY]

Thanks for the feedback. Our Gothic capsule has mostly revolved around Dracula and the vampiric culture, so I thought I'd venture off and focus on werewolves because I've always found them to be the most interesting aspect of the Gothic culture.

Hopefully it will get a bit darker as it progresses. In fact, I think the main character will probably end up committing suicide as I think that would be an effective ending.

Thanks again :)

[Banzai]

Well, I'm afraid I can't really recommend any good werewolf literature for you to consult, as I don't really have much experience there. In terms of the gothic genre, Dracula, Frankenstein, and Poe's short stories are where you should be looking. I'm afraid, since my interest in the genre is at best a passing one, I can't give you all that much detailed help, but others will be along before long who have better experience of it than I.

But for now, dark and dramatic description is your friend (and the main character suicide sounds like it would fit in perfectly).

[Cogito]

I don't know much about Australian copyright law. In the United States, your copyright is yours from the moment of creation of the copyrightable work, but registration is a good idea for any substantial work. Registration, however, requires filing documents and paying a fee.

However, I'm sure all the information you need can be found at The Australian Copyright Council Online Information Centre (http://www.copyright.org.au/) (but I'll leave it for you to actually wade through the site).

[Weaselword]

I don't know much about Australian copyright law. In the United States, your copyright is yours from the moment of creation of the copyrightable work, but registration is a good idea for any substantial work. Registration, however, requires filing documents and paying a fee.

In all countries that are signatory to the Berne convention--which I believe includes every country that has English as a primary language--copyright is established on setting down the work.

[ILTBY]

I don't think my work is good enough to bother registering :)

Thanks to both of you for the information.

[Raven]

I don't think my work is good enough to bother registering :)

Thanks to both of you for the information.

I sometimes feel like that with my work. So I guess if we want to make it we just have to work for that goal. ;)

[ILTBY]

Yep, that's true :) One step at a time.

I managed to write more last night after finally getting an idea, I might post it in the Review Room.