Beast Planet 1 Plot

[MilesTro]

Here is a plot, which I decided for my short story, which I am writing now.

1. Spina is brought to prison, where she finds her rebel leader, High Kong. She meets Dragon Wolf and Nagendra. A greedy selfish human family buys High Kong as a slave and takes him away.

2. Dragon Wolf and Nagendra helps Spina escape from prison. They arrive outside a human city. They go through the sewer and meet Sneak.

3. Spina, Dragon Wolf, Nagendra, and Sneak enter the brainwash facility where High Kong has been taken to to be brainwashed. Spina finds High Kong. They escape from the facility.

4. Spina, Dragon Wolf, Nagendra, High Kong, and Sneak return to their base camp. A human army attacks their bas camp. Spina battles General Gold Fist. Spina and her friends escape.

What do you think?

[Funny Bunny]

Too confusing to me. I stick with Bob and Joe names. I generally call they X, Y, Z till I have names. So far it sounds like a typical "movie of the week plot" so what is the motivation? It really does not make much sense. General Gold Fist??? I won't laugh because I don't know if you are serious.

[MilesTro]

A human colony is taking over an alien for metal, and the aliens are fighting against the humans to get their lands back. Spina wanted to get her leader back from the greedy humans and this first story is mostly about. The reason why General Gold Fist is name General Gold Fist, is because his two robotic arms are gold. Maybe he should be called General Golden Arms. It's a satire Sci Fi story. Many parts of it is funny.

[Steak-Ums]

Well those name do sound appealing to younger audicenes as well as the plot. Who is your audience? YA? A? Children? If Children, it's good, YA, then you might want to rethink the names and the plot..seems to Mary Jane-ish [unorginal] with the plot.

[MilesTro]

I was thinking of aiming it to teens. There's mild lanuage and medium violence. I'll say a PG-13 rating.
Do you think it should be aim to kids instead?