Hidden down within an overgrown thicket, a lone common red fox is standing patiently in the early morning sun as he quietly observes a grazing rabbit. He had been waiting well before the sun had arisen, for such an opportunity to present itself, but he would not dare strike until his prey becomes perfectly position. For this moment, he was allowing the small creature to go on with her business. He wishes for her to make another step towards him, so to be sure his attack would not fall short. He arches his spine and prepares his hind legs ready for his pounce. Then the moment he was waiting for appears; she steps forward to feed on a fresh weed. With no hesitation, he launches himself into the air and towards the rabbit. His paws land accurately on the creature and swiftly he sank his teeth into the creature’s neck to end any remaining life.

I was hoping, if someone might be able to tell me if the tenses are correct in my paragraph. In some parts, I have used the past tense to help better describe the present tense. Using past and present tenses in the same sentence is something I am still not confident with, so I would appreciate any helpful advice.

Things I would like to know are my changes in tense correct and flow well, and does the text have a nice overall flow that it is enjoyable to read? Sentence concerning me;

“He been waiting well before the sun had arisen, for such an opportunity to present itself, but he would not dare strike until his prey becomes perfectly position.“

I know I have a past and future tense but a little unsure if I swap between them correctly. I am also concern about the verb “becomes.” Is the verb correct in this future tense?

“Then the moment he was waiting for appear; she steps forward to feed on a fresh weed”

Is this the correct use of the semicolon? I am also unsure if I have the tense right.Any comments, grammar wise or tips from a pure creative writing view will be greatly welcomed, and thank you in advance

He been waiting well before the sun had arisen, for such an opportunity to present itself, but he would not dare strike until his prey becomes perfectly position.is a bit of a problem, as you suspected. Try:He been waiting well before the sun had arisen for such an opportunity to present itself, but he would not dare strike until his prey became perfectly positionedThe sentence itself is a bit long and convoluted for my taste, but that would at least make the tenses compatible. I also removed a comma incorrectly placed after "arisen".

The use of past tense here is not consistent with the present tense of the rest:For this moment, he was allowing the small creature to go on with her business.Instead use:For this moment, he allows the small creature to go on with her business.or:For this moment, he will allow the small creature to go on with her business.

Does this help?

but he would not dare strike until his prey becomes perfectly position.

Yeah, i remember spending some time here confused on what would be the correct verb. I think my error is that i attempted to use a present tense when clearly the sentence was in a future tense. "Becomes" when i now sounds more progressive.

For this moment, he was allowing the small creature to go on with her business.

Again a little unsure why i used the word "was" in a sentence I wanted solo in present tense.

I also removed a comma incorrectly placed after "arisen".

Arisen was followed by a fanboy?

The sentence itself is a bit long and convoluted for my taste

You think it would be better to shorten and simplify?

I rarely have to advise anyone to make sentences longer. There is a strong temptation to make Swiss Army Knife sentences that try to do everything under the sun in one neat package.

I believe in the power of the simple declarative sentence.

Arisen was followed by a fanboy???? - Sorry, you lost me that time. I don't think the comma is an obsessed stalker, if that's what you mean.

FANBOYS was something i was shown in early school.

F-for
A-and
N-nor
B-but
O-or
Y-yet
S-so

When I see these words I remember one of my early teachers telling me to use a comma. I might goggle this, and refresh my memory on the rule here. Fused sentence is ringing around my head but I cant remember the rule for it.

Ah, I understand now. The problem is that "for" is not used as a conjunction in your sentence. If it were, your FANBOYS mnemonic would serve you well:Make peace with your deity, for you are about to die.When you are using "for" as a preposition, you do not preced it with a comma unless some other rule applies.They gave their lives for their children to survive.

I'd set aside the FANBOYS rule. It will steer you the wrong way too often.

Firstly, I would like to thank you Cogito. Your help and time is appreciated.

He has been waiting since well before the sun rose, for such an opportunity to present itself. Entice as he may be, he would not dare strike until his prey is closer. For the moment, he will allow the small creature to go on with her business.

Slightly re-worded and split the sentence to simplify.

Entice as he may be,

I am a little unsure with the comma here. I am using entice as an introductory word but it is follow with “as he may be” which is preposition. If the preposition was not there I be confident in using the comma. I would like to know when using introductory words that are follow by a preposition is the comma required?

It would be "Enticed" rather than "Entice". But there should be a comma at the end of the phrase only. It is a parenthetical phrase. The word "as" is not used as a conjunction in the phrase, so there is no comma preceding it.