This is our new cookie jar. It begins preloaded with cookies, but has the best security magical technology can devise.

In order to take a cookie, you must first add a cookie, or something else of equal value.

Trying to circumvent the security will result in erosion of your souls and a horrible death within 21 hours (hey, that's just teh way the magic worked out!) However, you are always free to deposit a goody in the jar without taking anything out.

I baked cookies this weekend, so I have prestocked the jar with half a dozen oatmeal raisin cookies, and half a dozen chocolate chunk Toll House cookies.

any one watching their weight try the peanut butter cookies no sugar in them at all.

Hey! You promised me a cookie, Cogito!

Ooooow mmmm Cookies. Scoff mmmm munch ka-runch. Yup If I catch any one pinching the cookies I'll Mmmmm yums Ka-Runch. So no pinching now. Owww choc chip cookies. Mmmmmmm.

And there are cookies, Banzai. So, what will you add to the jar for the fresh, warm cookie?

Scoff Mmmm add whats this add thingy. lol

Hey Cog did you remember to add a bit of xlax to your cookies. just to deter filching?

Nope, the jar's magic alone does that. Filchers die a horrible, soulless death.

Anyone can have a cookie, but they better leave something of equal or greater value in its place.

Here's twenty pesos! *Takes two cookies*

Hmm. I don't have any pesos.

I deposit a date nut bar, abnd take a ten peso note for my money colelction.

!Gracias!

I will sell you my soul for a cookie.

The jar closes tightly.

A soul is only of value to he or she whose soul it is.

Cherish your soul.

Does the jar take hats?

I have a very nifty USB powered fan I would swap for a cookie :p

COOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


I will add tim tams then take two out. Is that ok??? :D I looove cookies!

I give you my students will to learn. Most of them don't need it.
Takes 3 of the chocolate cookies.

Raven stop eating all the cookies damn it! Some of those Cogito actually put in there for me damn you! Not happy and by the way can I have my rock back now please, you've had it long enough!

I'll take your students will to learn cause I need it. Oh right I gotta give something. Deposites a Fedora and an exact replica of the pope's hat!

I will add 3 white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. They are vaccum sealed in case anyone has nut allergies. I will only take one oatmeal raison cookie....(hoping they have cinnamon in them.)

Oh I need a new Fedora.
Deposits a student (one of the small ones) and pulls out the fedora.

I don't like cookies and I wanted the fedora.
I get the next fedora and I will give 4 doz. oatmeal coconut chocolate stove top cookies

Can I trade Banzai for a cookie?

Puts back the fedora, and pulls out an i.o.u. for 1 stove top cookie.

Sorry i need the Pope's hat back (He's not happy me me :confused:)

Puts a fedora in the jar for lessa, inserts a grizzly bear, and takes the pope's hat.

*Inserts hat into box and mails it back to the Vatican*

I will take my bear rifle out and load it before I take any fedora or cookie from that jar.
I am a good shot but somebody else will have to clean it.

Puts Stephen Colbert in the jar to fight the bear.

Throws in (politician of your choice) to assist Colbert. I promise to throw in something nice after the bear is gone to make up for contaminating the jar.

Removes Grizzly Bear corps. Stephen Colbert leaves jar and inserts authintic Jack Thompson belts and boots.

Can I trade Banzai for a cookie?

No, you can't chocolate bear!

I, however, can and will trade you for a cookie :D

*puts adamant into the jar, and takes out a cookie*

EVEN BETTER!

*eats all of the cookies in the jar*

My plan worked perfectly.

Erm...adamant?

*points out painful looking anti-filching devices*

Eh... I don't need a soul anyway.

Exactly. Souls are over-rated.

*Takes 10 cookies and leaves soul in place*

Raven stop eating all the cookies damn it! Some of those Cogito actually put in there for me damn you! Not happy and by the way can I have my rock back now please, you've had it long enough!

Erm what rock. Ka--runch. mmmmmmm

Yeah I thought you'd come back with a comment like that Raven...you know I am attavhed to that rock so give it back or...or...or else! ><

Call the Rocky Road Police Torana. This is a clear case of Rocking and Rolling.

<sniff sniff> I did and they are going to do a full investigation Dom.

if he has eaten it are you sure you want it back???
make sure to sterilize the small bits and pieces, please.

This is a very big jar indeed!

I will deposite a chocolate mud cake sealed in an explosive protectan case and leave with nothing. I will take what I need later on. Oh wait, Adamant, you might want to get out of the jar.. *drops in hand grenade*

if he has eaten it are you sure you want it back???
make sure to sterilize the small bits and pieces, please.

<bursts into tears> Oh I do hope he hasn't eaten my rock! Everyone knows how much that rock meant to me and Dom dropped an anvil on my piece of paper so at the moment I am trying to hide behind a blade of grass, which is kind of working...I want my rock though :(

And I want one of those cookies Cogito cooked yesterday cause they sounded really yummy and he made 3 batches as well. But the second lot went into the bath before the oven! :eek::confused:

So I will leave...a Bundaberg RUm in its place :D it's all I have lol

Torana I was hoping to give you a replacement for your rock. An Anvil is even heavier then a rock is so its harder to steal.
Sheesh try to be nice to someone and this is the thanks I get.

I'm going to put my anvil in the cookie jar and pull out the first cookie I can get.

No no no no no no no no no no no no! I thought you were just trying to kill my piece of paper!

I will take the anvil until such time as my rock is returned to me thank you very kindly Domoviye. It is just squishy under there cause it is a flat surface instead of being all lumpy....the lumps give air pockets you know and crevices to stash coo......drinks into! :D:D

THIS IS A COOKIIEEEE JAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR NOT A ROCK JAR!


please keep the thread on topic thank-- Oh gawd I can't finish it!

*locks self in jar*

Puts in a lollipop, and pulls out a DoZ.

hehehehe I thread jacked again lol oops my bad.....

<puts in imaginary money and pulls out a very yummy orange choc chip cookie and does a runner>


hahahahahhahahahaha

Aw!

Does putting in monopoly money count?

*Puts the dosh in. retrieves a lollypop and gives it to Dom!*

Sure, but the lollipop you got out is also a plastic toy one!

I put in the entire membership of the writers forum and take out what is left of my sanity.
evil laugh as she goes and does the dishes and bakes more cookies.

So you donate what is not yours, and take out nothing in return? Interesting choice. :D

OK maybe not the entire membership.
I have decided to not lock up the entire membership.
you are all crazy as loons and saying so, you are all welcome to come eat cookies at my house any time.
and yes I take out nothing.

Why not!? I'ma on my way!


Did I mention I have extremely distant rellies in Canada?

woohoooooooooooooo!

Party at lessa's house everyone!

I have the drinks, we need the music and the seating now....already got the food lol :p

Oz apparently I have distant relatives in Australia.
know any mcclenaghans.
yup, cookies at my house.
we can have hot chocolate egg nog and cookies as we build snowmen in the front yard.

Ok I am so on my way :p
cold weather and snow HERE I COME!!!!!!! lol

Snowmen? I'll bring the Frosty the Snowman Hat!

Yeah I thought you'd come back with a comment like that Raven...you know I am attavhed to that rock so give it back or...or...or else! ><

What rock? I've got no rock.

WoooHoooo look at that rock go skimmy across the water. Erm i mean erm stone. yep a stone going skimmmmy.

Wow look at that chunky rock sink like a brick. erm i mean small very small stone.

Oooow another cookie. I'll place fresh air in the jar for that Cookie. Hmmmmmmmm mmmmmm Cookie. Ka-runch.

You place fresh air. I'm taking that out and replacing it with gas! :p

Eeeuuwwww. Are those cookies supposed to be green DoZ

What rock? I've got no rock.

WoooHoooo look at that rock go skimmy across the water. Erm i mean erm stone. yep a stone going skimmmmy.

Wow look at that chunky rock sink like a brick. erm i mean small very small stone.

Oooow another cookie. I'll place fresh air in the jar for that Cookie. Hmmmmmmmm mmmmmm Cookie. Ka-runch.

<picks up anvil and launches it at Raven>

Gimme back my rick Raven! That isn't nice you know.

Just cause I wouldn't let you hide under it with me doesn't mean you can steal it while I am away and then throw it in the water. ><

I am taking a cookie and replacing it with Raven's head! :p lol

Gimme back my rick Raven!

Don't be silly Torana How could I possibly find Rick Do you know how many people in the world have the name Rick. Really Torana I so thought better of you.


And ducks dodges anvil but because its from Australia its a boomarang Anvil and returns to its owner. Oooops poor Tor she's just been knocked out. Poor lass.

Oooww and she has a cookie mmmmm thanks.:p :p :p :p

Don't be silly Torana How could I possibly find Rock Do you know how many people in the world have the name Rock. Really Torana I so thought better of you.


And ducks dodges anvil but because its from Australia its a boomarang Anvil and returns to its owner. Oooops poor Tor she's just been knocked out. Poor lass.

Oooww and she has a cookie mmmmm thanks.:p :p :p :p

Yes my rock has the name Rock thank you kindly Raven lol (don't pick on my spelling mistakes lol)

I was not knocked out and it is not a boomerang. You brits I don't know. (I've never seen a boomerang) Thinking everything is a boomerang.

And now a piano has dropped on your head and I got my cookie back so hahahahahahaha

Ah but you haven't because it was a hologram of myself and thus you lost that Piano. I have now sold the parts and made me lots of money because it was a very old piano

I've seen a boomerang. Sometimes they aren't even angular like an arrow!

I'm gonna dump... Hmmmm what shal I put into the jar? Strawberry Yogurt? That will do. *takes out some chocolate biscuts*

Grabs Torana Dumps her in Jar and polishes of the last Cookies.

OH GOD! now I don't want anything in that jar!

*shakes it up and down violently then adds some scorpians*

<whacks Raven over the head with a chair>

I dont like cookies anyways!

OH GOD! now I don't want anything in that jar!

*shakes it up and down violently then adds some scorpians*


Guess she wont be wanting that rock back now. hmmmm

<whacks Raven over the head with a chair>

I dont like cookies anyways!

Well your in the jar now with stingy Scorpions

Torana, Stephen just told me the bear isn't actually dead...

Bear? You mentioned a bear?


Was it my cousin Larry? Cause Mo (Hull) and Curly (Cogito) did something mean.


Okay. I have NO idea what that means.

But Torana is enjoying her scorpian frineds.

*Throw some bees in for good measure*

Ouch poor lass.

hey like when did this become pick on Torana day again?

Dunno.:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

You three will pay dearly for this!

Whats that John Denver Song. Oh yes Rocky Mountain high :p

<throws cookie out the window>

Fetch!

What do you mean, AGAIN? it never stopped Snooty!

*Throws Ravens stinky shoe in Jar then closes it and Torana up together in the jar*

Quick call 999 she'll be done for

rAVEN RAN OFF TO GO FETCH THE COOKIE AND WENT SPLAT ON THE SIDEWALK LOL

Nope was my double.

yeah and you then ran after your double!

Nope that was my clone. :p

you really are obsessed with yourself and cookies aren't you Raven!?

*Dumps out jar, chucks everything in the incinerator. Washes it, dries it nad put new, fresh baked cookies in to jar, re-engage Mystic wards then places it on top of the cabinet.*

But Tor was in that Jar

And so was my bear...

and I am concerned because.....?

lordofhats we must avenge your bear

Ah.....Not good. Tor was torn by the bear, Hey a poem Tor was torn. :p:p:p

lol ummm yeah nice one Raven that will make you a billionaire that is for sure lol

Or not. Lock him Up I say.

If you could catch me maybe. :p

Yup I agree lock Raven up and throw away the key! SO we can have cookies and them be safe from him

Meep meep

.......,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,..........................,,,,,,,,,,, ,..........,,,,,,,,,,,,,................,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,.................,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,,,,,, ,,,........,.,.,.,?? (sp?)

Meep meep.

Yes we need to avenge my bear! it was on loan from the Colbert Report. Now I have to pay them!

erm ok then well ummmmmm

I put in raven and doz and take 5 cookies

we can kill them two off and that will sort out all the problems!

again was another clone. I liked that bear

...........


Sorry ate your bear Lord.







Kinds stringy. You should feed those things more often.

...........
Sorry ate your bear Lord.

@_@

Good thing it was just a gummi bear...

Hmph. Explains why I'm ill.


See you in court.

Put Dropbear in the Jar and Torana will buy you another Bear

I'd love to but DoZ in the jar. but she splapped a lawsuit on me...

I will get you Perry Mason

Hull. You are mean. I am going to sue you for imprisoning me against my will.

and charge it to cogito by the way and raven not me I am a nice person and was going to avenge your bear damn it!

No worries Tor. I got a group pack of 100 at the local store!

YAY :p:p:p:p

*bangs head against brick wall*

*bangs head against brick wall*

Inserts Tylenol for DoZ

don't think you are getting out of that lawsuit so easily Lord.




But thankyou. :D

awwwww give the poor guy a break DOZ he was trying to be nice till you attacked his poor bear!

Damn

ah I mena TALK TO MY LAWYER JOHNNIE COCHRAN!

My lawyer is Jack Daniels. Excellent lawyer I must say!

What do lawyers have to do with the cookes though?

Damn

ah I mena TALK TO MY LAWYER JOHNNIE COCHRAN!

Posthumously?

I'm a necromancer...

I am going to talk to my lawyer.. DANNY CRANE!



hahhahahhaha


I will cut you a deal and give you a bag of gummi bears...

You mean "Denny Crane," right?

Whatever.


*washes cookie jar then replaces with fresh baked goodies*

Inserts gummi bears and takes a cookie.

Inserts cookies and takes gummi bears

<they taste better :p>

Takes Jar and replaces with air.











Legs it down the highway.......



























Still legging it......



























Bugger picked up wrong Jar......

<evil smile spreads across face as I sit down infront of the fire on my very comfy recliner and munch out on cookies and gummi bears>

har har har har har har har har har har har












































see what happens when you try to be smart Raven! lol :p

Bugger.















I have a cunning plan.

A Baldic cunning plan? :p

Is it as cunning as a fox what used to be professor of cunning at Oxford University, but has moved on, and is now working for the UN at the high commission of international cunning planning?

Grabs Jar Once more and again legs it down the road.





































































Still legging it.........hehehehe






















































Oh bugger.......Wrong bloody Jar again................................

You should really do your research, Raven...

Hmmmmm

Here Raven have this. *Inserts, "The Dumbies Guide to Stealing Cookie Jars" into the jar*

lmao......Cheeky begger...:p



Sticks Lordofhats in Jar takes three cookies.

Yes! The jar is mine! Hops ou tof the right jar and runs




























crap I forgot the jar...

While you were in the Jar did you not think to read the book "The Dumbies Guide to Stealing Cookie Jars"

I skipped chapter four...

Ah......
Explains all......:p

Yes in hindsight I should ahve read it seeing how it was title "Grabing the Jar"

Hmmm I see your point. I also failed to read chapter four.

Damn chapter four.

Wait until you reach chapter 13... it's a secret chapter between chapters 12 and 14....



*jumps in cookie jar and prepars tazar gun*

Pours water in cookie jar.






























Whats that burning smell.......?

































Smells really bad its like hmmmmm burnt meat...........Go figure.:p

I think the cookie jar needs to be cleaned again.

Hmmmm you could be right. But there looks to be a burnt and chared person inside. Hmmmmm

Jars are so boring... Why can't we have a cookie vault?

Cookie vaults are more secure too. Raven can't drag that off unless he happenes to be Superman.

Its gone from a cookie jar to an urn.

We need a fireproof vault...

With auto-turret defenses, and miniguns.

And a laser :D

We should just build a terminator and have him guard the jar.

Hmmm. He always makes such a mess though...

Its him or robocop... or Arnold Schwarsnager. He's a robot right?

Ha hahahahaha You'll never keep me out. Muahahahahaha.








Bugger thats a good lock.

Ha hahahahaha You'll never keep me out. Muahahahahaha.








Bugger thats a good lock.


How about we lock you in and never let you out?

We should just build a terminator and have him guard the jar.

Build the terminator and make the cookie jar a part of the terminator. Then no one can get in.
Its ingenious.

Brilliant!

Hull. You are the meanest person. Now you definatly can't kill me. I am immortal now. So :p

How about a cookie pyramid, guarded by the curses of the old Cookie Pharoahs?

It's a Klein jar.

You really canot steal anything from it, because the outside is also the inside.

Silly Freshmaker there's no such thing as curses... except Immortality. That's a curse itslef. Sorry Dropbear looks like your future is bleak.

Then I shall make it un-bleak and put my immortality to good use. And beat HUlls Raven over the head with the cookie jar. Then sit on him.

except Immortality. That's a curse itslefI have a couple characters who might disagree with that...

At least you'll be doing good! By the way, could you pass the cookie jar?

By the way, could you pass the cookie jar?
Now THAT sounds painful!

I have a couple characters who might disagree with that...

I noticed :D. Still I wouldn't want to be Immortal. Mortality, that sense that you only get one shot, is what makes human life beautiful.

Sure there is. It's the placebo effect. It only hurts you if you believe in it.

So...Raven...there's totally a curse on the cookie jar. You're totally going to, like, get horrible boils and fatal diarrhea and stuff.

So...Raven...there's totally a curse on the cookie jar. You're totally going to, like, get horrible boils and fatal diarrhea and stuff.

Ouch... *Inserts morphine into the jar/urn/terminator thingie*

Damn accidental double post...

The only cure for the diarrhea is to eat a cookie. Good luck with that.

The only cure for the diarrhea is to eat a cookie. Good luck with that.

Blast. Where did I put the deactivation codes for Schwarznager

Watch out for the Ex-Lax chip cookies though...

Wait a minute... is there anything etable in this cookie jar?

Choose wisely.

Only my pinki toe that got fried extra crispy.

*Rips off Hulls Toe while he is sleeping*

*Rips pff Hulls Toe while he is sleeping*

:eek:

Did you take your meds today?

Mistook cookie for meds.

No. Why would I do that for???

Because sanity is highly overated. Actually, it sounded good at the time.

EXACTLY!


now, do I haaaaaaaaaaave to go back to work?????

Thats why you seem so chipper

Because sanity is highly overated. Actually, it sounded good at the time.

Amen. Free hat for gunslinger!

EXACTLY!


now, do I haaaaaaaaaaave to go back to work?????

Only if you want to.

Amen. Free hat for gunslinger!

*wears with pride*

Only if its a job you want to keep.

Only if its a job you want to keep.

If you put it like that she WON'T go to work!
:eek:

hahahaa

No, I did. Had to. Hopefully in the new year I can find another full time job with more money. :)

*grabs a bundle of Tim-Tams and inserts bags of christmas chocolates*

Takes cookies from jar leaving the chared remains of i beleive its DoZ well the tazer still works so aims and fires tazer at the burnt remains.


Scoffs Cookies will return whe the cookies return.






Can we have some white choc chip cookies.

I second that. White choc chip cookies are needed!

Can they be oatmeal white choc chip cookies?

As long as they have white choc chip.


And can someone please clean out the burnt remains of DoZ after she was hit with water while using the electric tazer. The smell is getting pretty bad.

*Grabbing cloth to clean up the paste like substance left by DoZ*

Don't forget to sterilize the Jar.

Also shouldn't someone say a few kind words in DoZ's memory.

Yeah, cleanup to the cookie jar please!

Yeah, cleanup to the cookie jar please!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And someone Please stick in white choc chip cookies.

Put in ingredients to make said cookies.

ok..

The poor cookie jar...

I would like to submit a dozen raspberry chocolate chip cookies with walnuts, a dozen white chocolate chip cookies for Raven, and some Oreos for good measure.

Merry Christmas.

Hey thanks freshmaker. Gives big hug.


Takes white choc chip cookies drops in some terrys orange choc cookies and happily munches white choc chip cookies.

Ooooh! Takes a raspberry chocolate chip cookie, and puts a bag labeled "human head" into the jar.

Is that DoZs head by any chance. Right your on cleaning Jar duty now.

COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yum!

Nope :) It's adamant's, naturally.

Ah. I guess we need to say a few words for him in his memory. Thoughts.

**takes rum ball**
**leaves gingerbread biscotti**
**flees, leaving trail of crumbs behind**

I think we should eat cookies in his memory :D

I think we should eat cookies in his memory :D

I second that.

All in favour...
All against...

Motion passed :D Let there be cookies!

Yes!!!!!!!! Cookies!!!!!!!!!

I leave for an hour and you guys take all the cookies?

Take is such an ugly word...

I prefer embezzled :D

I leave for an hour and you guys take all the cookies?

Snooze you lose.

*should we tell him that they were nice and warm and delicious*

Puts Banzi and Gunslinger in Jar
Adds one cookie
Sits back to watch the deathmatch

It would be wrong to lie, chocolate bear :p

*kills gunslinger, eats cookie*


...well that was anti-climactic...

Yes and I payed $5 for that cookie and these front row seats!

Chuck me another, and I'll brutalise his corpse a bit?

Throws Banzi another cookie. Sets up the camcorder

Drops in water followed by Toaster. Switches toaster on by the mains.



Looks at Lord Of Hats.



"Smell something burning."

Lordofhats nods.


I guess we should say a few words In Banzai and Gunslingers memory then. But I ain't cleaning that Jar this time.

*eats cookie*


*looks around*


*eats gunslinger*

I love the smell of burnt toast in the morning... no wait... thats human. nevermind. Human is to chewy.

Not if you cook it right ;)

How well does boiling water work?

Was that a ghost. Sounded like banzai.




*Shudders*


A Ghost. We need a priest for an exorcism

*Takes out holy water*

"The power of chrsit compels you!"

Quick pour some on me just to be on the safe side.

Compels me to eat cookies?

Well... Okay then...

Sorry out of holy water. Luckily I had some holy cookie dough.

Inserts Jesus cookies.

As long as no one starts passing around Jesus juice...

*you ate me, what is wrong with you. I should have listened about you and your meds*

*someone planted the remains of Gunslinger out in the backyard, and sprinkled water on to him. He grew out of his remains, and is now pissed. If I was Banzai I would fear for my spirit, because Gunslinger is gunning for it*

Ahh! Out of the ashes and into the light. "Banzai! I have your meds right here. Come and get 'em."

*The trap is set*

....do I want to know what that is, Cog?

Yeah... Coz meds are gonna attract me... :p

....do I want to know what that is, Cog?

It's your meds, go on drink it!

...nah, I think I'm alright thanks. Help yourself, though :p

I can grow people? Awesome!

Inserts remains and sprikles them with water.
Removes Invasion plan for France from cookie jar hidden compartment

I knew no one would ever find it here!

Whats this I've found. Hmmmm it says no peeking.

That sounds like a challenge!

Oh wait a minute. Who replaced my invasion plan fro France with an invasion plan for New Jersy?

Oh wait a minute. Who replaced my invasion plan fro France with an invasion plan for New Jersy?

You can have that state. It smells anyways.

I'll take the invasion plane for Luxenberg

Why would I want to invade New Jersy? I already own 90% of the continental Unit- ah I mean YES! Invade New Jersy!

What's this dusty one?

*blows off dust*

"Invasion plan for...the...world?" :p

You should see my invasion plan for 574 AD. :p

You should see my invasion plan for 574 AD. :p

Let me know how that one works out.

And Finally I have it. The Invasion plan for the Universe. Sticks out tongue and begins the ultimate Invasion.

As soon as I get that darned time machine...

Why the hack is everyone stealing my invasionary brilliance? *Takes invasion plans and runs*

Yeah, go for it. I parked the TARDIS outside.

Tardis LMAO I have the Time Hopper and it makes me safe from Paradox changes. Muahahahahahaha