How's This? Starting a Fantasy Novel.

[TheGrandThree]

> How's this folks? Tips & comments are welcome. This scene is real, I've been there. I was out on a shooting practice with my father, this large black cloud was coming in real fast. Right when we get the guns ready - BAM! Rain & hail began to fall on us. Rushing into are van, there I began to write. That's my story on how this all began. Please enjoy this little bit of reading I have wrote. Tips & comments are welcome

I. Disaster at the Midnight Moon Festivite

It was the second raging storm this spring. Rain poured along with small balls of hail. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and a large show of clashing lighting preformed in the sky over Genaton Town.

-TheGarnetNovelist-

[Spherical Time]

Good, but remember, people will always be the most interested in what the characters are doing . . . and this is true in this case as well. I love how you describe running back to your van to write. I also want to know how you and your father reacted to seeing the rain begin.

Is a Festivite a small festival?