Character of the opposite gender

[Pentip]

I've written a lot of stories, but I have never written a story with a MC that was a male. Normally I always do girls. Now, in my latest story, I have to do an MC that is male. I want him to seem real (as in, really male, considering the fact that he is my other MC's husband, or will be), but, not being one, what am I supposed to do with him?

[Cheeno]

I don't mean to sound flippant, but...imagine. I'm serious. We are a result of our experiences, which become our memories, which feed what we wish for in the future. Without memory (personal and collective) we have nothing to imagine. Have you brothers? A father (figure)? Male cousins? Male friends/associates? A boyfriend? Exes? Male neighbours? Visualise and imagine, then put pen to paper and let him come to life. It works. I do it with female characters all the time. Just give him things to initiate and react to and see where it takes you in his development.

[Cogito]

You might also want to check out this thread, Male characters vs. Female characters (http://www.writingforums.org/showthread.php?t=6253) on the same topic.

[Pentip]

I don't really want to model my character after my brothers (the char is supposed to be good), but I'll give it a shot.

[mammamaia]

if you don't have enough life experience with men of all kinds to know how they think and act/react, then you'll have to do a lot of reading... pick books that have male characters like the one you intend to create and study them there...

[lordofhats]

It may sound awkward... well really awkward, but when I write from the perspective of the opposite gender I try to think, how would I react if I were a girl?

So far no one seems to notice any problems, so I must be doing something right XD

[Edward]

Most people seem to think I'm a girl on the internet anyway... ;_; I wrote something once and someone was like, "you're a guy? Wow. Couldn't tell"

And yet I know nothing of the female perspective. Maybe you won't need to really know the male perspective.

EDIT: well, could be the Avatar...

[Vayda]

Okay, this might be nutty, but go check out the RPG forum. I roleplay online (chatrooms, instant messenger, IRC) very often, and doing so has helped me learn how men react in certain situations. I've gotten to the point where I can play as convincing a male character as they can. Give it a shot.

[Heather Louise]

My only advice for you, pentip, is to imagine what it would be like as honestly, that is the best you can do I think. I have no experience about what it is like being an african woman with no food or shelter but I can still try to write about it. Same applies with males, or anything else you might be trying. The best you can do is read or research about what it would be like, as questions to males who you know about anything you may be struggling with and then just make up the rest. I honestly don't think their brain setting for most things would be that different anyways so I shouldn't think it would make that much differnece.

Good luck
Heather

[mammamaia]

I honestly don't think their brain setting for most things would be that different anyways so I shouldn't think it would make that much differnece.

sorry to have to disagree, heather, but from well over a half century of study, observation and experience, i can tell you unequivocably that this is not even close to true... and it does make a significant difference... that doesn't mean that hard-working, talented and skillful writers can't learn how to write from the pov of people very different from themselves [gender-wise or culturally], but it's certainly not that easy to do it believably... and well...

research is the key, along with observation and reading/studying how the best writers handle that aspect of writing... one well-known example is agatha christie, an englishwoman, who created as one of her two main characters, an eccentric belgian man in her best-selling [still today!] stories starring hercule poirot... another is dorothy sayers, another englishwoman 'commoner' whose hero was a peer, 'lord peter whimsey'...

[Heather Louise]

I know what your saying, mama, ut I really do think a lot of it comes down to sounded like you have a clue. Like if you say a made up thing like it is a fact, people are a lot more likely to beleive you. Sometimes you just need to have confidence in your writing skills, and yes, a bit of research will help too.

[ACCERBYSS]

I've found this to be a really good book - Writer's Guide to Character Traits by Linda N., Ph.D. Edelstein. as with anything of this nature you need to take what is described and make it your own.

Every guy on these forums could very well disagree with how believably male your character is, the gender is universal but the experience of being male is individual.

How can i say no that is not what its like to be a man, all i can say is that is not what it's like for me. So go for it write your character i'm sure you'll do a great job.

Start with sterotypes and build.

how does he deal with his emotions?

was he raised with the axiom of boys dont cry?

how does he display his masculinity?

how mechanically minded is he? By Mechanically minded I mean can he fix his own car?

All the best, post some scenes that you've writen with him in them so we can see how you progress.

- Accerbyss

[Slippery]

Meh. You can't "write it like a guy would." This is because men, just like women, are incredibly diverse. You'll have your John Wayne idolizers who wouldn't cry if they got it in the sweet spot with a sledge hammer, and you have your teenage kid who's so unpredictable you can't tell what he'll do next... There's even different types of gay dudes.

I like to just imagine what I would do and think if I were her. If that is weird for you, just remember that writers are supposed to be crazy. Chances are you will end up with a character who acts like you would if you were the opposite gender, but cast through the lense of the personality you want.

[Anna_Pavarli_76]

I had a similar problem. I wanted to create a 12-year-old boy as the main character, but I've always had teenage girl characters (because that's what I know about). Sometimes I just had to imagine and run it past my brother to see if it sounds "boy-ish."

[Timshel]

I'm a female. 19-years old.
I've written countless things and have just realized that most of my characters are males, especially in the works I think are my greatest achievements. I love the logic of male characters, the way they express themselves, and the strong, focused emotion they have when they do become emotional.

I recently thought of perhaps trying to write from a girl's perspective. I tried to just jot a few things down but my females kept coming out masculine no matter how hard I tried.

Anyone else like to write from the opposite sex's point of view better? Any way to kind of break that habit? I think it'd help me expand my character base a little.
Also, any female characteristics I may be missing? That may help too.

Thanks!!! :p

[KP Williams]

Is there something wrong with masculine females? I've met plenty of girls/women who are more aggressive, more assertive, and/or physically stronger than most of the guys I know. And I've met plenty of guys who seem to be girls trapped in a male body. Sometimes I think I fall under the latter category myself (not that I'm attracted to men, though--I'm strictly heterosexual... just saying).

IMO, there is no such thing as male and female personalities. There are simply assertive and passive people who happen to be male or female. Sure, gender will have some sway over how people behave, but in my experience, it's not a dramatic effect. Or it shouldn't be, at the very least. I tend to focus on people, not stereotypes.

That said, my current main character is a male, simply because I've always imagined myself as the main character in this story. I rarely write from the perspective of a female for that reason, though when I do, I never have any problem worrying about whether I'm making a convincing heroine. It's just another character.

[Benevolent Pudding]

It's because of hormones. You're (I'm assuming) attracted to males and feel more emotions towards them than females, and thus can more easily spend more time and effort writing them down and giving them their own emotion.

Try doing some role play. Try being as stereotypically female as you can i.e. all pink, love shopping, very "girly", and flirtatious, and etc., and just roll with it. Try to get more into their head (not to say you're not girly, but being over-the-top for a while might give you new insights as to how to give your characters those traits.

Try reading classic romance authors like Jane Austin, or... jeez, she's really the only author I can think of for romance that's exceptionally good... but anyways, read more romance, and see what kinds of girly traits the authors give to their females, and try to emulate that until you can get the hang of creating your own feminine characters.


Is there something wrong with masculine females? I've met plenty of girls/women who are more aggressive, more assertive, and/or physically stronger than most of the guys I know. And I've met plenty of guys who seem to be girls trapped in a male body. Sometimes I think I fall under the latter category myself (not that I'm attracted to men, though--I'm strictly heterosexual... just saying).

IMO, there is no such thing as male and female personalities. There are simply assertive and passive people who happen to be male or female. Sure, gender will have some sway over how people behave, but in my experience, it's not a dramatic effect. Or it shouldn't be, at the very least. I tend to focus on people, not stereotypes.

That said, my current main character is a male, simply because I've always imagined myself as the main character in this story. I rarely write from the perspective of a female for that reason, though when I do, I never have any problem worrying about whether I'm making a convincing heroine. It's just another character.
That being said, it would still be a good exercise for her to learn to write feminine characters, and would still be quite beneficial to her writing skills in general.

[Elgaisma]

I find men much easier to write. I have managed to produce a book from a seventeen year old boy in first person that seems to get past every teen male that has read it - except the fight scenes but with help they sound less like a middle aged lady wrote them.

My next book is a twenty nine year old gay man - he also writes my blog for me lol

I am however in November just for fun writing a time travel novel and for the first time ever one of my two MCs will be female. Although she is a teen as well.

Although BPs point doesn't work with me as I am attracted to both men and women in pretty equal measure. And the women I do write are assertive although I am very happy as being female:) It's just how my stories work best I guess.

[Naiyn]

I'm 40, and my two main characters are both 16 year old girls. Whether or not they come across as believable I suppose depends on the reader, but it hasn't created any problems so far. Maybe it's because I'm a 16 year old girl at heart? :D

[Trilby]

I find it much easier to get inside the head of a female than the head of a male.

[Daisy215]

When writing either character I base some of the mindset of people I've known to get me started. Sisters and brothers are always good. Also since I have started dating it has been easier for me to understand guys (sot of lol)

[Melzaar the Almighty]

*doesn't get why it's so hard for people to write other people* They're all just that. People. :P

Everyone's different, and everywhere is different, and even in groups of similar people there are different ones. Media representations of people rely on that, so even in a group of 3-4 people, there'll be extremely distinct personalities. Maybe they have some things in common, but they're cultural things. Even if they're all guys, they'll be stereotyped right through to the bone to make sure no one mixes them up but can instantly say, "oh him? He's the [distinctive feature] one!"

I've seen surveys and stuff about some of the worst popular books, where people couldn't name a single distinctive feature for certain important main characters. Like, "oh, um, they're the... girl?" That's the sign of bad writing. Even blatant but well-constructed PERSONALITY stereotypes are better than bland characters. Just go with personalities, and what they have between their legs will hardly matter. No one is going to notice you don't know much about what it's like to have a penis unless you're writing erotica.

I bolded personalities because it occured to me that no you do not want to stereotype every person of the gender you find hardest to write the same way. If the fact they're the only dude in the group is the only thing that makes them stand out, that's bad.

[Cogito]

As a rule, beginning writers don't wrute other characters. They write projections of themselves. Part of a writer's maturation is to step outside of his or her own head and write characters based on external observation instead of crawling into the character's skull.

That's a major part of why new writers (especially!) have difficulty writing characters of the opposite sex.

Nor is it only new writers. Even experienced writers get caught in the "my mind in a stranger's body" trap.

[Melzaar the Almighty]

All characters are a projection of yourself, one way or another. It's just a matter of honing the skill to bring out different parts of yourself, and to build on that until you have something different. But approaching the characters, initially, you'll have something of yourself there. It takes work to build the character into something else, but until then that foundation is you.

People who are having trouble writing other genders probably just see themselves quite strongly in terms of their gender. I know a lot of the writers I know who can write the opposite sex really well - or even better than their own - are either gay or just don't see themselves as a gendered person - their sex is entirely incidental to who they are. One of my best buddies is totally hetero, but kinda butch as much as she is girly, and she mostly writes male main characters, and actually worries she doesn't do the female ones "right" - like she's almost lacking an understanding of her OWN gender.

[Elgaisma]

I actually think my issue with my first book was the character I was writing - he didn't have many women in his life and was pretty awkward with those he did. The ones he is comfortable with I have written reasonable characters.

Finding women interact better with his brother

[Jones6192]

Well, I guess I'd say to stick with your own gender, because you know that better than the other one, but I myself am writing a story with a female protagonist (I'm a guy) mostly because I wanted to make something a little different, to spice up the formula. When you read my story, you'll know what I mean by "formula"...:rolleyes:

[Metus]

Not to be sexist, but there are differences in the ways men and women talk. I'm not saying that all men talk one way and all women talk another way, but somehow in most books I can tell if the speaker is male of female without actually seeing a name or description.
Is there another post I can find for this? Are there differences in adjectives, or sentence structure, or just point of view and feelings on issues? Some combination of multiple factors? Help would be appreciated.

[Mallory]

Well, women tend to be more touchy/affectionate with our friends than guys are with theirs, and the dialogue is different.

As for mindsets, goals in life, worldview, stances on issues, etc then no, they aren't that different. There are plenty of domestic/nurturing guys and aggressive/driven women.

My advice to you is to go to a place where you can observe men and women alike in a non-creeperish way (a food court in a crowded mall, for example, or public transit) and take note of the differences in how they interact.

[Sundae]

Watch, people-watch and pay attention to how the women you meet in everyday life act. Main thing is to make them real, not caricatures of how you think we females sound and act.

There have been multiple threads on this topic, a quick forum search should reveal them.

[Fullmetal Xeno]

Not to be sexist, but there are differences in the ways men and women talk. I'm not saying that all men talk one way and all women talk another way, but somehow in most books I can tell if the speaker is male of female without actually seeing a name or description.
Is there another post I can find for this? Are there differences in adjectives, or sentence structure, or just point of view and feelings on issues? Some combination of multiple factors? Help would be appreciated.

Women are alittle bit more emotional then Men. (That's a good thing!) So yes dialogue will most likely be more different then when a Male speaks. Almost all the time you'll notice the difference. I like it when the Author makes female characters reasonable but not cliche. Not all women are there to be saved like they are some hopeless person. And they aren't out there to be treated like meat either. Ive put some books down just because the female character is looked upon as needy all the time, hence Twilight. Bella is a cliche character and not all women are like that. Not all female character strive to survive because the Male character defends them all the time while they look hopeless. I absolutely HATE that when a first person book is like that. It's so sexist. And yes, a guy is saying this. Alot of Women are very independent, and they do not like to be treated like you own them. Ive noticed some guys act like that and it makes me sick. Especially when i read history books about the Renascence times in Italy and such about how they considered women as dumb and unintelligent. I always get so pissed reading that. Women deserve to be treated like human beings. Not tools. Not slaves.

Sorry if im off-topic, i should seroiusly stop talking now lol. I just needed to get that of my chest. I know your not trying to be sexist, but im just explaining my opinion about haha sorry if im offtopic. :redface:

[Peerie Pict]

My knees start knocking when I see a thread with a title like this...

None of your characters should be stereotypes. If you think in stereotypes, nobody will give a toss about your characters and anything they have to say.

Also, men are just as emotional as women, they just express it in different ways. I don't think this needs to be spelled out.

[Solar]

How to write women?

Like this:
double-u oh em ee en

I hope that solves your problem. Look forward to reading your bestseller.

[Radrook]

First I'd like to say that in all my time on the Internet I still have to go the the poster's icon or profile to know who is and who isn't female. Sometimes I'm very surprised since the posts come across as what is usually considered very male, you know, analytical, detached and unemotional. So if indeed you can tell just by reading a person's writing all the time, then I would suspect extrasensory perception.

Stereotyping is generally frowned upon but that doesn't mean that as a writer we have to religiously avoid all characteristics considered stereotypes. Why? Well, because there definitely are real people who do fit into the stereotypical categories. It might not be popular, or politically correct to depict them that way, but they do exist and an author might rightfully consider one of these essential to the plot.


Women? Well, there definitely is what I have heard women themselves refer to as girly-girl behavior and mannerisms which can be used to convey that stereotype.

Marilyn Monroe made a career of it as did Jane Mansfield. So I would suggest that watching several Marilyn Monroe films and taking notes on the way she behaves and just what it is that makes her stand out from other less girly-girl women will provide you with the tools necessary for your purpose. On the other hand if you can so readily identify a writer by her female mannerisms as you claim you can, then that shouldn't be necessary. In fact, it is a bit paradoxical.


Please read


CL Moor's "Doorway Into Time" and "No Woman Born" and tell me how I was supposed to know that a woman wrote them. I couldn't. I knew it was a woman after I took time later to read Isaac Asimov 's intros to these stories in one of his anthologies. In fact, she and her husband became a famous Sci fi team and people couldn't tell who wrote what sometimes or what parts were his and what parts were her's.

[shadowwalker]

You need to look at *your* female character - how would *she* talk? Is she ultra-feminine, more 'rough and tumble', somewhere in between? Know your character - then you'll know not only how she talks but how she acts and how she reacts.

[JSLCampbell]

Okay, there's so much diversity of personalities in terms on intra and inter gender that we can probably assume that there isn't any actual difference. We could probably quotes tons statistics or studies or w/e that claim that men "are actually more sensitive" or "men are more emotionally robust" but there's probably little point.

So, assuming that men and women have the potential to have equal characteristics in all areas, what does change is societal norms, the perception of a society/culture, etc, and this is where the effect comes in, and what possibly necessitates a difference in the way you write one of the genders, in this case women.

You have to consider what's popular. You can get butch women, definitely. But if you're writing a romance novel, is a very macho-type women going to be popular? You'd probably find femininity in this instance is going to sell better. Whereas, for example, it could be possible that a very macho, perhaps cold male protagonist in a love story could be popular if it's fulfilling a kind of anti-hero role and the female protagonist "brings out the good" in him. You can attempt to break the mould a little if you think you can write a more unconventional female, but consider the genre you're writing in and whether this unconventional female template is actually going to be popular.

I think today, female characters that can be strong and/or aggressive without sacrificing femininity are probably among the most popular, everygirl types. Someone that springs right to mind is actually Misty from Pokemon.

Remember that your character's personality is going to define their thoughts and feelings towards external phenomena, so there isn't really examples of the type of feelings a female might have. If you have a macho, tough girl in terms of personality, she might not even bat an eyelid at how beautiful the sunset is. As I said though, in most cases female characters in books will follow societal norms a little (or a lot), and consequently are probably going to have a more feminine attitude. Society likes to think of women, even strong women, as being capable of more emotion, perhaps being maturer at a younger age, etc, so when people write females in novels, there's a good chance they'll follow (perhaps without even thinking about it much) these parameters, and so the females characters these authors produce might be more softly spoken, talk/act a little less vulgur, or act a little more level-headed, and so on; it's likely to be more subtle these days.

I guess it's essentially what's becoming the norm. There's nothing to stop you writing a complete damsel in distress; it's probably realistic too, there are plenty of girls like that. But would it be popular? You'd probably find a stronger, more independent, subtly feminine character would go down better amongst the readers.

[JackElliott]

"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

[VM80]

Also, men are just as emotional as women, they just express it in different ways. I don't think this needs to be spelled out.

Sometimes more so. And not always so differently.

[GreenRain]

Is there something wrong with masculine females? …. It's just another character.

Sure, we could all use a dyke. look at all that water. :eek:
To a great extent gender identity is established by society. Those of us with identity or disphoria issues simply don't agree, for what ever reason, with society's identity definition. A woman in Classical Athens would have been a different person from a woman in Classical Sparta, and I'd wager both would be different from a Minoan woman just three-hundred years earlier, or an Egyptian just a thousand years earlier than that. And then there is Rome and the Church she built. The women of pre-classical Greek society were powerful, even governors, with or without the approval of their men.

Take that to modern times: A man born in New York will have a different idea of what a 'man' is supposed to be than one born in Los Angeles, Sidney, London, or Tel Aviv. Then, the Urban model will be different from the suburban model, will be different from the country farmer who can plow and fish and find something to fix with the wrong tools. While a wrestling match between a red neck and a homeboy from Harlem would be interesting, I bet they'd call each other queer [Def: anyone you see as not fitting your idea of manhood the way you do] before the match began. Then, the blood, the pain, the embarrassing stains, and then the beer and the never ending argument about who really won that one. Oh, and then they'd be friends for the rest of their natural lives.

[VM80]

sorry to have to disagree, heather, but from well over a half century of study, observation and experience, i can tell you unequivocably that this is not even close to true... and it does make a significant difference... that doesn't mean that hard-working, talented and skillful writers can't learn how to write from the pov of people very different from themselves [gender-wise or culturally], but it's certainly not that easy to do it believably... and well...

That may be your perspective. Mine so far is different (in spite of my shorter tenure on this earth..).

You cannot always categorically say 'a man's brain works like this', and 'a woman's brain works like that', when how people think and act is based on so many factors. We are individuals, but yet more unites rather than divides us imo. Thinking we can be boxed into two predictable groups of uniformity is a horribly depressive thought.

A good writer can write anything, I agree. Otherwise we can all keep journals and only write about our own lives.

[Yoshiko]

I find it more difficult writing about the same sex. I'm as stereotypically girly as they come -- everything is pink or animal print (eg: phone/bedding) (http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/2527/phonef.png); countless pairs of shoes; adore boy bands; spend way too much on clothes and make-up, etc -- but writing about a female character is ten times more irritating than breaking a nail. ;)

I find writing male or transgender characters much easier and I don't get annoyed with them like I do with female MCs. But I have many more male friends than female, and it's been this way since I was 11~12yo, so it doesn't surprise me at all that I find it easier to get inside a male character's head.