Valentine's is traditionally understood as a "lover's holiday". And while that make sense considering where it came from, I'm not sure if I agree that that should be its sole purpose. Myself, I've always taken love in a different fashion and so with Valentine's Day itself too.
There is so much hate, manipulation, destruction, lies, war, poverty and disease in this world that a little bit of love would go a long way. And while I know that other holidays can serve the purpose of "be nice to your fellow man" I feel that the day of Love, Valentine's Day should exemplify that more than anything.
Why don't we have a national or international even, day for spreading love? We see so much suffering and cruelty in our daily lives that if we all just made a point of doing nice things at least one day of a year, imagine how nice the world would be? It reminds me of the recently created Green Day (I think it's called): people all over the world shut off their lights to perserve energy.
Now I know that people in general should do nice things not one day but all 356 of the year, but let's be honest that with our day to day living, it's hard to remember. So Valentine's Day could represent a wonderful opportunity to reconnect, recharge, rejoice and make the world a better place.
I've always loved the line "...celeberate a better day that's been won." So I challenge you to find a day, whether Valentine's or whatever, to make it a point to do something out of the norm that'll enhance the life of another being. A gift, a kind letter, donated time, etc.
Can't we all manage that much?
How often have I heard the line "bad things only happen to people who let it happen to them or do things to earn it"? That the world is just and only people who are stupid or bad end up with hardships or misfortune. That if you're doing well in life it's because you're a good person; while if you're hitting hardships it must be YOU who is creating the situations.
But that's bull****.
I have known people who were vicious, vindicative, cruel and sadistic and they were getting everything in life they ever wanted, or nearly so. And I've also known people who would take a bullet for a friend who are eeking out a living, having been hit with a series of unfortunate but unforeseen hardships. So where does this "just world" concept come from? Why do we believe that something when evidence is clearly to the contray?
Fear. By beliving that only bad things happen to bad people and good things only happen to good people in general the public believe they can control their fate. By acknowledging that terrible things can happen to good people and evil people can get ahead it destories their own feeling of control and by pretending that the world is just they can ignore the truth.
Life really is arbitrary at times.
But does that mean we should just throw our arms in the air and say "it's all for naught, our lives are not our own"? No. We might not have control over everything that happens we CAN control what we do with what happens. We could choose to make good of a bad situation, or capitalize on a good situation so that it helps us out during the misfortune.
Another thing: by claiming that victims are a product of their own stupidity we are bascially ignoring good people are sometimes hurt over something they had no or little control over. I'm very against victim-blaming, as it kicking someone when they're down really is the worst of creulty I can think of.
The world isn't just. It's really messed up. The good guys get beaten down and the bad guys get rich...but in the end that's no reason to give up. We can't control our circumstances but we can control our reaction to them.
The world isn't just, but you can make your part of the world as just as you can.
Inspired by the thread talking about love I've found often wondered about it. I'm sure I found it, but I've not always be able to understand the differences between love and lust, devotion and possession.
I've only had a handful of relationships mainly because I'm an introvert and because I spent a number of years in a single relationship. That doesn't upset me, but I sometimes wonder if I'd had more time with the opposite sex I'd be more understanding of who they are.
While I won't go into details about my relationships, one particular relationship makes me shake my head. It was a brief one, barely six months and entirely long-distance to boot. But most of all it was with someone I once hated and now hate even more.
How could I date someone who treated me so badly? How could I date someone who used nearly every dirty trick in the book...a few even before we dated?! How could I have such low-esteem as to think "well if I don't date him I'll have no one in my life"?
What was wrong with me?
Theraphy helped but it didn't give me all the answers I wanted. I guess I might never have those answers. But what I do have is experience. Yes, after the way I was abused by him I have scars. I'm scared. I lack trust; I lack confidence. But what his abuse gave me besides that was a great "gift".
I follow my instincts now.
And so, wiser I'm able to enjoy a great relationship with a loving man (different relationship). We've both had to struggle through the pain, but in the end I know above all that no matter where our path leads, I never need fear him or who he may become.
For sometimes the strongest part of love is friendship.
How does one reinvent themselves? For those you who are reading this, you might have guessed that I've been around the net for some time. I use to be a bit of a different person some time ago, being very immersed in the online culture.
Why did that change? A bad experience, of course.
What I want is to be able to enjoy the internet as I once did, not with all the people hunting me down for their pointless dramas, their needy ways or their insane stalking. Enjoy just the reading, writing and general interactions.
When did the internet become such a place of manipulation, harrassment and mindgames anyways?
So I'm reinventing myself, if I can. Going back to the pure feeling of just enjoying what the net has to offer without all the crazy little dramas that oftentimes accompany it.
Sometimes I think about what it was like to first come to the internet. I was without cares and worries then, at least cares and worries that were related to the internet. It was just a place to go to read up on things, chat a little and generally kill time.
When did it become such a factor in my life?
Oh I have an offline life. Offline family, friends, hobbies, etc. But somehow I know that my life on the internet has altered me forever.
It sounds dramatic, but it's true. I guess in a way everything changes us, even if it's just a little bit. But I feel like I've met some of the best and worst people through the internet. That the internet has been an impact that I can't tell if I feel was a benefit or a loss.
Can someone start over? Can they let go of everything that tried to destory them?
I want to be where I don't need to hide myself, and remain there til the end of time.
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