Cant get these thoughts out of my head...so much prettier there. Frustration. So good at communicating inspoken words, so horrible at written. Wish i was a painter ora singer...like Nina Simone. you can hear the tears in her voice. someday i'll get it all out and then i can rest.
Its not about counting the stars in the moonlight, its about sitting on the beach in the bright sun loving every flaw. Romance-drenched kisses only last until satisfaction comes. I gaze at him in adoration as he looks to the horizon. I love him. He loves him. My heart feels so full and then so empty the moment he walks away. My senses overload and then shatter. I’m broken and bleeding and he doesn’t really care. He doesn’t care. I cant make him care. WHY. I love you I love you I love you more than anything but she is more interesting. So beautiful. Im so ugly. Hide me. Don’t look at me. I know you don’t like what you see. Listening to sad songs makes me feel like I’m not alone. Maybe Eva Cassidy has felt this way before. Maybe there is hope that someday this churning will stop. Maybe I could like myself again. Why do I do this to myself? Isn’t it enough that he does it? PEACE! Please give me peace. I just want to stop stop stop all this mess in my head. Stop the craziness. Stop these tears that are dripping down my heart. Not a single one will come out my eyes. They are hard. I’ll never love again. Searching for someone to make me forget all of this…just hold me. No…don’t touch me. Please…. Don’t touch me don’t touch me don’t touch me. Stop stop stopstop. Please. I give up.