Today, Jancy Levy was going to have to lift even heavier burdens than her name ever should have suggested in the first place. She rubbed her burning pale face and threw down the cold towel before she slipped over to rattling window in her nightgown. Knowing that the water for bathing was by now lukewarm, she released the restraints on the window and let the flash of storming rain wet her strawberry blonde hair. She rubbed her eyes and with all the power held in her back she closed the windows once she was fully watered. Her blue eyes searched around the room searching for her sleeping friend. All she saw was a note attached to her school uniform. She walked over to the note which wrote: "Went to school already, don't worry, I will tell the teacher you have a fever today. You should rest like normal people. -Arabella" Jancy grabbed her uniform and began to blister around like the storm outside. "I can't believe you Arabella. I didn't ask you to excuse me from school." As she slipped on her badly worn black shoes down the stone staircase she slammed the door and she began to stammer down the stairs. Jancy always felt better when she was running, all the energy and heat would escape from her body and she felt the stress just hover a little higher away from her head. This was not the conditions of her most comforting run. Most of her runs were in a controlled environment when the sun was, for once, high over the sky of Castle Avalonia.She was lucky enough to get into this apprenticeship school. While the work for training up on manner schools were tedious and worthless in all standards, what was nice was the students at graduation had enough right to advertise their skills. Unfortunately, she could feel her skills go out the window with every passing late bell chime. She covered her ears as she heard the evil bell ring once again as she rushed. She pushed the little door tightly open with her back and stuck her hands into the storm once again, but this time there was no thrill to sliding uniform first into the castle doors. She rubbed off as much mud as she could staring down at her bag, it had leaked open to reveal her absorbent sponge papers that were once her textbooks. She closed her bag quickly hoping to avoid that as the bell continued to ring for the third time. She had only five more rings left and she still had so far to run to. She took off her shoes and socks, hoping to decrease the weight of her body as she rushed through like the leaf in the storm outside the doors. She began to count through the bells to see if she would make it to school before the teachers would lock the door. She couldn't have it happen again, not another day of servant work. She was trying to move up in the world and make her Auntie proud. She saw the class door as she turned the stone corner, with the last gust of energy she had left she slammed the door open.
Alright, so after trying to make myself better and change the past, I will now show you what happened in the past and what is the new look on my old poem.
"The Light I Saw" version 1
"The Light I Saw" version 2
"The Light I Saw" version 3
Thank you Jo, Frost and Breathe for your critisims and support. You shall see my oldies pop up again as I still have writer's block.
Also, something I found, Elementary School Girl Syndrome is starting to take a buzz. While, I think I was the one who told Frost about it, at the same time, I think the disease reference is spreading. I'm contagious, oh boy, everyone run!
The Light I Saw
With Jo Spumoni's Suggestions
When I went to your house, I saw no one.
When I ran to you, your heart shattered.
When I hugged you, you cried in pain.
When I tried to comfort you, your heart iced over.
I loved you more than my breath.
I walked with you until Armageddon came and left us.
I am yours, my red string wrapped around your body.
I saw the light in you.
You saw the world with fear.
I tried to show you kindness
but you ran away from my love.
Your heart was ice when we met
But now it thawed.
As time passed,
Your stone shield crumbled.
As time passed,
You found someone.
And though it was not I,
I'm glad you saw the light.
Can't wait for Frost's suggestions!
In this lovely section of my blog I am now going to now explain what was on my mind when I wrote this piece. This will be happening for any short stories I post.
First off, I wanted to do something that was probably not going to be expected at the competition. Believe me I was tempted, very tempted. All I do is write romances like "Unexpected Lovers" in my spare time, so this would have been the perfect oppurtunity. I decided though it would be better if I used that later. I'll mess up more themes in the future (It's going to be harder now with no laptop to waste my life on. That's what school is for though.)
Next thing on my mind was my parents. My parents have been eating at me again for their mood swing pleasures. So, in the piece I am venting at my parents, but you are going to have to trust me on this. If I were the character in this piece I would be a dead person. Last time I checked I had a pulse and my wishes to be dead have long ago erased themselves from my to-do list. In case you are wondering what I'm exactly talking about, you will note the morbid language in the following quotes.
"Free thinking was the release of my demise."
This is the first line of story, so if you have read it you would have probably thought about what I meant of demise. This was a reason why I wasn't specific, I didn't want this character to be me. Now while many of the pieces of my shattered past may be place in here subconciously, I don't actually know when I started drawing things. My mom has told me it started when I was eight, but that could be just because she wants me to think I was inspired by that feeling she gets to draw.
Here's the next quote, if you don't get it by then you have to be cuckoo.
"I was their game; to play with but never to eat until death did I part from them."
I guess it could be a symbolic death, I don't know if that is the case. I'm still arguing with myself on that one, but it could be.
Later on, I think I made the character a ghost, because the muse still talks to her and the last line is a bit creepy. You know what they say about those who commit suicide, they become the helpers of God with the uneasy.
We can't forget about the fact that you guys probably don't understand what this following line might illude to.
"I moved to this strange bubble land filled with the rich cats and wild coyotes."
I personally love this line myself, and it's my own writing. I might be just trying to puff up my ego, but my mind loves the pictures this evicts. Bubble land, by the way, is Orange County. Though it could be a lot of places, I was directing towards Orange County, California. Who can't say that the elite of this society is a rich cat and well... Wild coyotes is obvious if you live here. It's talked a lot down here in the West.
My favorite paragraph has to be the most scandalous. Fantasies are so fun to play with, especially if it's someone elses. If you don't know what I mean here's the first line of it.
"On the desk, on the table, or on my homework, we had many passionate moments."
That's right, let the freudian slip escape thy lips. I first just wrote "On the desk" and then I realised how wrong that sounded and I decided, "Hey, why not?" They are supposed lovers, and this is an unexpected paragraph.
Oh, and if your wandering the gender. I believe she's a female talking, though I'm sure many boys watched Sailor Moon when they were younger, but not many of them thought of her in a clean, "oh look she's a holy virgin princess". I bet you only my anime geeky friends would know the fact that she was only 12 when the series started. Since Sailor Moon is only 12, I have to say I'm jealous of her chest size. According to the perverted anime otakus, Sailor Moon's isn't the biggest either. The biggest is Sailor Jupiter. I guess everything is bigger on Jupiter.
Before I start typing for hours and miss the last bus home, let me jump back on the track.
I do like my references to other literary pieces and overall, I am please. I had to read this piece seven times before I was truly satisfied. I'm sure there is more I could do more to improve it but it's already in.
Speaking of already in, don't forget to go to the poetry contest and read the need to be voted section of the poetry contest. I'm one of the contestants, if you think my poem is any good vote for it. I took my time on that to think on it, and if you need to know my mind on my poem read my other blog post. It's the entry called, "Rough Draft of Zanier and Cael." It shows the baby draft of the poem and also the story behind the couple Queen Zanier and Cael.
So to all the artists out there on this site here's what your drawings are saying.
"Draw on and never let me die."
I pulled a tear across my mind,
wiped away my heart dry.
No need to explain what happened here,
I have lost him again.
He rustled my clothes in the dim shadowlight.
I knew he was leaving, but I still feared.
Oh, the bright light told me so,
when she settled across the great hall.
The light told me of the faith of him.
His loyalty to me was the death of war.
The death of the shadow looming over
the crimson waves.
The crimson waves which drowned the city
killed away the fears.
The fears of my people could now be silenced,
though my fear still echoed.
The echo stretched across black halls
hit against the walls and it pulled.
It pulled at my heart strings,
about the man who would be a city-state hero.
I stared into his magic eyes one last time.
I grabbed onto his powerful soul one last time.
His lips graced me twice before he left me.
His presence endearing before he left me...
That's all I got to before I decided to find a pattern and stick to it.
Music: Groove Coverage
It's a story of the Irish during the middle ages when the Saxons were starting to take over.
Cael, the son of a Saxon and a Celt, is trying to find a way into the Elven City of Golden Leaf run by Queen Zanier. He begs the queen, after being caught by Pavlon the head guard, to help his dying mother for the sake of his little sister, Aislinn.
Queen Zanier agrees because she senses something magical about his presence. Pavlon, Thorin and Aida go off with Cael to grab his family and his items of payment. His payment being teaching the blacksmith's of Golden Leaf how to make chain mail and his full ranch of horses.
They come back with the horses and their mother's tablet which bears the symbol that Cael so artistically placed on his shield.
Later on Raudh, the son of an animal caretaker and the Queen's historian, meets Cael in Tia's Healer shop.
blah, blah, blah... People almost die. Blah, Blah, blah, people are special and related to The Mother.
Later on this dream occurs:
"Waves of crimson washed up around the city and began to swirl around the city. A voice from up in the black sky shrilled a woman's voice, "Run! Run!" The city was engulfed and suddenly from the hills to the north stood an army which was quickly covered in darkness. The darkness swooped over the city and it was dark and silent from all the screams heard in the city. Destructive fiery light appeared from the earth and the putrid perfume of carnage filled the air as dead bodies laid across the earth. The fire turning the innocent now dead flesh into a meat offering for a man in armor with a scar across his eye and blackness in his heart."
The dream is given to Cael, Aislinn and the Oracle of Golden Leaf.
Then the poem (which I twisted because that doesn't happen in my story) is based on the scene after a meeting where the Mother Goddess herself appears and tells Zanier that Cael has left to try and save the city-state Golden Leaf.
Though in my version of the roleplay Cael won't be dying and they have a daughter named Tyranna <-- May be exchanged later, and the city of Golden Leaf eventually does fall prey, but this time to a Norman man who agrees to the mixing of cultures (it's William the Conqueror, but I don't mention that.)
William has a son, william dies, leaving his wife alone. Aislinn's father, one who is possessed by the darkness becomes King. Aislinn has been banned before her father's reign for being a brat and stealing the crown jewels then returning them. Eventually this leads to a different story about Aislinn and the Fool. ^w^ I get excited just thinking about it.
Anyways, that's the story behind Zanier and Cael.
Separate names with a comma.