Are my words silent,
Can't you hear my voice,
Am I that invisible,
Can't you see my tears,
Am I so insignificant,
What am I to you,
Can't you feel me,
I'm touching your hand,
Even if I scream,
You still won't hear me,
If I stand in your way,
You still wont see me,
If I tell you what you are to me,
Will that make a difference,
Will you fix all the brokenness,
That I've become,
I can't feel, I'm so numb,
I just want to run away,
At least it will make sense then,
Why you don't hear me,
Why you don't see me,
Maybe then I'll mean something,
When I'm gone,
If only for a little while,
Maybe you'll miss me,
Or maybe I'll find where I belong.
I'll always wonder what she would have been like, looked like, what it would be like to have her look into my eyes. to hear her cry, or see her smile. Hear her laugh for the first time, hear her first words and tell her stories. Hug her when shes upset... I imagine that she would have been the most beautiful thing i'd have ever laid my eyes on... With her temporary heartbeat and the way she made me feel. for those few weeks, our future seemed real. She was my little girl and I will always love her.
Drowning, sinking, feelings I get,
I know that I can't forget,
Things that have happened,
These past few years,
I know I'm responsible for my tears.
Why can't it all just go away,
Maybe it will somehow, someday.
Things that will haunt me,
From my past, I want it to disappear fast,
I want to become all I can be,
I want to be free, but free isn't me.
Until that day comes, I sit here.
Wondering what's next to fear.
As I look in the mirror, I see my lies,
They hide behind my silent cries.
Out in the open, my smile hides,
all the unhappiness, the emptiness behind my eyes,
But putting on that mask,
It can be loneliest task,
For no one knows, but me, my fears, my tears,
They hide away,
Hoping that in some way,
This world will bring a better day,
Where I wont have to hide,
I'll maybe even be happy inside,
Drown out all the demons inside,
Behind my eyes, my mask, my lies.
My heart is aching,
The mistakes I'm making.
Like a knife through my spine,
How I've crossed the line.
Life seems so far away,
One day too soon,
All in time, one day will fly by.
But the mistakes I'm making.
All I can do is cry.
I know I've crossed the line.
But one day, all of it, all the lies
I will own up to, they'll be mine.
But will I ever just learn or,
Will I keep and continue to burn,
Maybe if I just forget and live,
there'll be no reason to ask to forgive,
But my conscience won't be clear,
I'll always have everything to fear,
For my mind wont ever be sane,
and I'm the only one to blame,
I know that when it's my time to go,
I doubt I'll let anyone know,
That it was this pain that killed me,
And going on living, it could never be,
The gates to heaven won't open,
I'll always be completely broken,
But until I leave, day by day,
There'll be nothing to say,
And remaining quiet is the only way.
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