What is change
how do we change
how do we know
when we have changed

It's hard to consider
hard to think
hard to see when
we have changed

Simply because we have
our personalities on our
backs, people can see what's
behind us
but we cannot see
what's behind us

What is change?
Why change?
Because it makes us
better it makes us us
it makes other people
know you
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  1. I'm so tired of people saying I'm controlling or I only want it one way. When the truth is this, I get the feeling they only want it one way. They get mad at the fact that I don't include everyone in the game, but if someone else has an obligation towards something else they cannot make it to another minor obligation that's fine. We don't need to please everyone. All my life I have been extremely unpopular. No one has ever listened to my opinions. You cannot say my opinions matter, and then contradict themselves by telling me I'm being controlling. I'm only stating something with my personality, that's who I am. They want me to respect them, but tey don't give me an ounce of respect. And the moment that I do something against their beliefs, I'm the asshole while they stay squeaky clean.
  2. My heart yearns for you
    it beckons with pleasure
    it's lustful and hungry
    like a vampire in need of
    blood

    I desire you in the
    rawest of states
    My heart aches with
    the image of you burned
    forever in my soul

    I desire you
    This raw natural state
    of desire and lust drives
    me over the edge
    It drives me insane and my
    heart can no longer take it

    It's bursting and dying
    choking and suffocating in
    burning passion

    Endlessly the image of you
    burns in the back of
    my mind forever quivering
    in a deep sensation of fear

    I'm dying inside because
    I feel you are the one
    That there is no other one
    But I am a deceiver

    I'm sickened with madness
    Driven by hallucinations of night
    But your the one image the one image
    that keeps me clearly sane

    My angel in this weakened
    and sickened state of mine
    I want to undress you
    And then I want to redress you

    Every form within in the
    fog of my own dreary
    lucid mind you're the only thing
    that lingers

    The light in this darkened
    tunnel of my ill mind
  3. I suppose this means I'm back. But there are still some bitter emotions lingering still. Things that I suppose will never get resolved. I'll be the one to apology, but I'll never get the apology I deserve. I miss some of the older people and some of the people I once knew. I want to make new friends, but I am also scared that I won't be liked.
  4. I'm waiting for her
    she is like the night
    to me she twinkles
    like stars I have never
    seen from some alien world

    The world seems so
    tinted when she is gone
    the world seems so
    alone without her

    The world seems so
    cold without her
    why have I let myself
    fall so deeply in love?

    Why did I get so close?
    It won't save me
    Everything is so dark
    Everything is so cold
    I can live on my own
    But I also call for her
    touch, her words

    Here in the still
    all I can think is
    that I want her
    I want to speak to her
    I want to touch her

    But why did eveyrthing of her
    have to die?
    Why am I so mad in love
    with someone so dead?
    Why have I lost my sanity
    to someone who is dead to me?

    Am I truly just this
    insane or am I truly
    in love with her
    and I'm only trying to
    deny that I don't love her

    I want her
    I don't need her
    But I long for her presence
    I'm waiting here all the way
    into the night
    Morning through day

    All the days are melting together
    and all I crave is her presence
  5. I always make wrong
    choices and wrong decisions
    it's what being human
    is all about making
    mistakes and learning from
    them

    I am always wrong
    I am always wrong in
    their eyes
    her eyes
    my eyes
    parents eyes
    stranger eyes

    When am I allowed
    to be right?
    When I have conformed?
    When I have assimilated
    being a free thinker?

    When have I became
    so negative in people's
    eyes?
    When did I change to
    something so evil?

    I know I make wrong
    decisions, I know I make
    mistakes I am not denying
    this fact

    But certainly one person
    who doesn't conform isn't
    always wrong
    But because I am always
    wrong it's fair to treat me
    with inequality

    How does that equal ethical?
    How does that equal me
    being someone who could
    conform?

    I may make mistakes
    I may sometimes be wrong
    But it couldn't hurt to change
    the word wrong to right
    I'm waiting
    Waiting for the day that
    I get an apology from
    everyone and that they tell
    me that I had some of the right
    idea