I am forever trapped in writers block. At least I feel that way. I love writing. It is one of the very few mediums, aside from Photography, where I am able to express my thoughts and feelings. However, I have come to realize that I cannot write anymore. I am losing passion in writing.
I used to be the type of writer that wrote for the pleasure of writing. I did not care what was written in my collection of composition notebooks, nor did I care about the technical aspects of the writing. I wrote because it was an escape from reality.
Now I am being told that I cannot write. I have the reading and writing equivalent of a sixth grader. Everything I write is childish and not serious. I am not writing like an adult. I cannot read a 200 page book in 2 hours. Anything that I do read, I have a hard time grasping on to the information. I am an idiot.
I do admit that I am not a great writer, nor an excellent reader. I do have comprehension problems where I end up reading the same paragraph a few times to understand. I also do have trouble with expressing myself in words. I never learned how. And every excuse that I would give ends up being fucking bullshit.
“Amber, you never learned how to read or write because you did not want to learn!”
“It took you 3 months to read that book!!! I did it in 1 week!!!”
“What don’t you understand about the book?!” **my answer** “Seriously Amber!?”
“You write like a child!!! You need to go back to middle school and learn your nouns!”
“I do not understand what you are writing about!”
“Go back to High School and get your GED!”
It is not fun anymore. I do not care if I publish a book or not. I now have to write to prove that I can write something decent. No matter what, I will always be treated like an idiot. I am an idiot by the way.
Wilton technologies have created machines and automations to better the lives of the human race. There comes a point where machines can only do so much and a human can depend on machines for so long. To solve this problem further expansion in our development for better technologies was put in place. The majority of our company produces medical equipment for doctors and hospitals to help take care of sick patients efficiently. It is the one career where machines are not allowed to replace doctors.
A doctor had visited my office and introduced himself as a professor of specialized nano technology. He pitched the idea that the company has targeted the medical field but failed to target the pharmaceutical market. There was no need for Wilton technologies to create drugs when we create machines. It was not until he presented his proposal:
“Pharmaceuticals create drugs to help ‘cure’ the human being from physical to mental illnesses. However there is a human error where the probability of the drugs working varies from human to human. I have been studying the use of nano technology and found results that you maybe interested in. Thousands of nanobots the size of small cells are programmed and inserted into the body; once released the nanobots will help treat the human from the disease it is programmed to cure. A cancer patient could use this as an alternative to the expensive chemotherapy and a patient with Parkinson’s can live a normal life.”
Soon enough the development of the nano drug was accepted by the Wilton technical board under several circumstances. The drug would be under a trial period for one year to determine the efficiency and the stability of the treatment on humans. Also the nano drug must not cure any medical related illness. Instead the drug will focus on the evolution and adjustment of human personality and interaction.
Upon the drug’s release developer Dr. B. Autrey named the drug “Ultranumb” and marketed it as a way to escape the problems of daily life and second chance start life over again. Soon enough people lined up at our “trial” facility and purchased the drug at an expensive price.
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