Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Move like a butterfly, sting like a Chevy- Wait, I thought they went broke. Why are the spending millions on cars for a movie where the only people who will care Bumblebee is a Camaro are 8 years old? Yes. The advertising in the Transformers films are shameless, and pathetically misguided. But that's sort of funny in it's own way. Back to the review. I love Transformers. Being a mass media freak who has had his hand in almost all types of mass media ranging from film, to literature, to comics, to toy lines, I feel no shame in saying Transformers were a childhood favorite. As such, I loved this film to a fair reasonable degree. That's mostly cause I just get some of the background, and know many of the characters like Bumblebee and Jetfire. That said. This movie in retrospec, though I'll buy it and watch it again, isn't that good. The first film was great. The creators realized how corny the idea was, and they played on it. They immersed the viewers so much we didn't even stop to think how ridiculous the scenario was. This movie doesn't do that so much. One of the big problems is that it can't seem to decide on it's audience. In some ways, it's clearly a kid film with its corny scenes and one liners. In others, its a film for older viewers with VERY VERY heavy sexual innuendo and a LOT of cursing. I kind of laughed that everyone brought their kids XD. But this gives the film a broken feel. It constantly goes back in forth between the deep story and plot lines that will keep teens and adults entertained, and the shallow ones that a kid just accepts. It breaks the film, and keeps it from feeling proper at any time for any group. Thus the parents are like, "I brought my kids to this?" and teens are like "What the crap is this crap?" That aside, there are a lot of great moments. The comedy is back, with some very clever and brilliant moments, and though the innuendo is not appropriate for younger audiences, for the old, you'll get a kick out of some of the jokes. I also like the way the battles went in this film. In the first film, the robots never felt as "big" as they were. In this one, the action scenes are fantastic, particularly the final battle and Optimus Prime soloing a bunch of bad guys. Most of these scenes were the most emersive of the film and it's high points. Nothing better than bot on bot fist fights with a few plasma cannons here and there. I kind of like the way older characters have been included in the film. Bumblebee's return is a blast, as is the films opening and the return of Optimus Prime. Even better are some of the new faces; particularly the new version of Jetfire! Sadly there's a downside, and in a way I blame it for a great deal in how the film turned out. New additions like Sideswipe and Arcee really took me. From their first appearance in the opening I'm thinking: Awesome! These two rock! But, then that's it. They both pretty much disappear for the rest of the film into nothing but wallpaper. The action is spoiled by two people. Skids and Mudflap; the most retarded duo to put in a film. These two characters are not entertaining, and will annoy anyone with at least 2 IQ points to death. I don't even care that they're stereotypes of Hip Hop Culture. In the style of Yahtzee. "I hate anyone who does nothing but curse and acts like a 5 year old every waking moment, whether they be black, white, or robot." Skids and Mudflap are horrible and I really wonder what the movie's makers were thinking. Not only are they annoying, but they do nothing throughout the entire film but be annoying! The film would have been exactly the same if every scene with the twins had been cut out; trust me no one would notice the difference. This is a problem in the film. New additions and favorites have appeared; Jetfire, the Constructicons, and Soundwave. Other characters have been revamped into pure cool like Arcee and Sideswipe. These guys would have been great had they been expanded on. I wanted to see more of them. But no. I got Mudflap and Skids. Rather than expanding on characters most fans would have wanted to see we got a pair of nobodies no one cares about. Bad move. This sort of ties into the whole film. It has some great moments and some great characters, but as a whole so much time is spent on other things, the primary conflict never builds up very much. Then when it comes you get this hallow feeling that leaves you wondering wtf is going on because it isn't initially clear. Some of the plot elements like the aforementioned twins are baffling as to why they were included. One character who died at the end of the first film, returns in the sequel with no explanation for why he's still alive, and then he just dies again. I sat there staring with the question "Hold on, how is he undead in the first place?" I'm going to spoil it now because it was apparent in the previews. Megatron is in the film, but I have no idea why. Starscream almost always takes control when Megatron dies in Transformers media, but for some reason they brought him back and there really wasn't a need. Like Skids and Mudflap, Megatron could have been absent from the film and with a few changes it would have run the same way. Overall I'd say the film is too derivative. Instead of playing off the first films events, it does a bunch of corny crap that all in all negates the first film from having any real consequence for the story line or characters. It never expands on itself well enough, and makes some bad choices in cast and presentation that make the experience mediocre. It never ties everything into a pure whole. It really felt like they tried to do too much in one film and nothing got done to a satisfactory level as a result. They made some poor decisions, focusing on characters who should have stayed dead, or who shouldn't have been present at all when much more interesting and cool folks were around. Almost all the big stuff, ends with what to me, felt like cop out. Rather than take a path and stick too it, they transition at the last second to something else thats either not well explained for people not familiar with the lore, or that was from the first film and is reintroduced in an unsatisfactory manner. Oh, and I love the Prime man, but his monologues, really unnecessary Michael. I love Transformers, I liked the film, but everyone else out there who isn't an off the bat Transformers fan, probably won't share my endearment. Oh, and parents, I'm serious. Be careful about taking your kids to this one. There really is a lot more than I feel is appropriate for anyone under 12, and I'd advise an advanced screening if you're touchy about what your kids watch.
Okay I know, another Twilight post, but I'm not talking about the book. I'm talking about the movie. Yes I actually watched it (mostly so I can rant about it ). Needless to say, I am awestruck. No, it's not that its a film adaptation or an adaptation of a book I hate. The thing I hate about this movie, is it's utter destruction of film as a medium and just how horrible the basic fundamentals of cinema have been torn apart by it. I'm really not sure what's worse: The film adaptation for Eragon, or the film adaptation for Twilight. Ironically, I don't even have to touch the story (all I'll say is that they took a beaten horse, tore it apart, couldn't find the instructions to put it back together, and set it on fire). The fundamental aspects of gilm just seemed to me like they've been raped and torn to pieces into something so cinematically bad I have to determine it is one of the three worst movie adaptations ever created (along with Eragon, and Starship Troopers). Here's the problem: You've seen those documentaries that are thrown together and have really bad and fake reenactments? I think they took the people who made those, and decided to ask them to make this movie. The whole movie in every aspect feels horrible hollow, and horribly fake. The props look fake, the background feels fake, and the characters and the camera are so horribly handled. I could end it with that but I am so tired of people loving this movie and declaring Edward is the definition of sexy, that I'm going to keep complaining about it. It's my life, I'll waste it how I want . Point 1: Lighting The lighting in this film is so bad! Remember Blade Runner? You know where the film was so entrenched in darkness it was a real struggle to see anything at all? This is the opposite of that! Everything is so horribly white, and it makes the horrible make up for the characters faces all the worse. The lighting for the film just astounds me. Why would they make it that bright? I think it would have made more sense to go a little darker than normal, to tone done the awkward pale faces of the characters. Point 2: Casting The actors are not just horrible, they are bad. Only Billy, Charlie, and Rosalie seemed remotely real to me, and Edward and Bella were just horrible. Bella has this stupid look on her face the whole film, where you can just see her two front teeth and she looks like a beaver. Meanwhile Edward just has this stupid goofy look to him at all times, and his lines are so poorly delivered they feel like he isn't really trying. This just carries on throughout, compounded by several problems in the film which I'm going to complain about now: Casting Sub-point A: DBZ Hair GO! The hair stylist for this movie, needs to be fired. Twilight has won the award for most Ludicrous Hairdos. Edward looks like Goku, Alice looks like her hair got put through a washing machine, and Jasper looks like a corpse (In a bad way not a good "oh he looks like a corpse and he's a vampire, cool" sort of way.). Jacob looks like a really retarded throw out from Last of the Mohicans (Or Trunks, with dark hair and no bad a$$ level). Carlise looks like he's straight out of The Days of Our Lives or General Hospital, and Esme... oh I'm just going to stop here before I have a heart attack. The only character with remotely good hair, was Charlie, because he had one kick butt mustache. The downside? He looks like MacIntyre "Mac" Womack from Super Troopers. Casting Sub-point B: You thought the 80's was a fashion disaster? The clothing in this movie is as bad as the casting and makes the characters feel even more fake. All their clothes look like they're made of that really cheap material that they make holloween costumes and cosplay out of. Basically all the clothing feels fake save for a few outfits, and that just compounds how fake the characters feel. Casting Sub-point C: Makeup I'm not a make-up person. I'm a guy, and even if I was a girl, I doubt I'd use much of it. This movie, takes the opposite approach. Everyone looks like the freak'n Joker! You can even see where the white face paint everyone wears ends and their real skin tone begins. I'm sorry. I know they're supposed to be pasty white, but often times, when you take Anime and Book characters and try to translate them into a really live action environment, they just come out and make you wonder "I thought this was cool?" They all look like retards. When the lighting is so horribly bright, it just seems so incredible ridiculous how pale everyone is. They really should have toned down the lights to play down the make up, or just NOT USED IT AT ALL. Point 3: The Camera has Epilepsy Yes. It does. The camera shakes the whole film and in a very bad way. Not a cool way like the Bourne films. It seems like they were too cheap to afford a dolly, so they just filmed it all with a hand held. Watch the ending. Upon realizing this I found the films end incredible ironic, almost like some had the "brilliant" idea to do it on purpose. The camera shakes so bad that half the time it draws attention to itself. Then comes the really awkward sweeping camera views that further emphasize the really poorly done fake documentary feel I got the whole way. The scenic views look like someone either did some really poor CGI, painted it, or took a photo and slapped it on a billboard and hoped no one would notice. Then there's the really really bad angles that persist throughout the film. I don't think the film makers even thought about it. It's not to say they're the worst angles I've ever scene. The shaking is the real problem, but the angles feel to standard, to boring. Then they just switch it over to these huge sweeping shots out of no where and the whole situation goes from "meh" to "wtf?" Add on some horrible scene transitions and camera work than in general just screams "This is movie, we aren't trying to immerse you in the experience." In conclusion, this film is not just bad because the material it is based on is bad, but the film work in general is atrocious. It might actually be the perfect adaptation now that I think about it: Twilgiht (Novel): A horrible story that is poorly written and baffles even the most mediocre writers into what Meyer was thinking as she wrote that 500th "cringed." Twilight (Film): A horrible story that is poorly shot, with horrible casting, and overplayed lighting and character attire that feels like a really badly filmed documentary.
This is the first bit of My Writings. Again I don't really know if anyone actually cares but I've developed these things to death and probably will never get to show off in the story lines half the information about them (maybe even less if I succeed in my hopes of cutting back on info dumps). So I'm just putting the general ideas behind them up so it doesn't all waste away on my PC's hard drive never seeing the light of a monitor. Golems An offshoot of Skeleton designs, the Golems are another series of walking tanks, though the significant differences between Skeletons and Golems are worth mentioning, particularly the Skeleton's complete obsolete status in comparison to Golems. Golems are about the same size as a standard Skeleton, standing roughly seven to eight meters in height and having a general humanoid construction. The materials used in their construction vary but generally consist of various types of carbon fibers and armor alloys as well as a cold fusion reactor that is usually the size of a full grown adult male. Golems are difficult to control and take fast reflexes to effectively pilot. Selection of operators is intensely rigorous. Few humans possess within them the capacity to control Golems. The use of cybernetics has improved control along with various methods of thought transfer. Another problem is known as “Disproportion Sickness.” Golem operators can have a great deal of trouble judging distances due to the need for a Golem to see through cameras and the Golem’s own disproportion’s (they are not built to human proportions most of the time. Many had longer arms than human’s have.). This causes many problems in harsh combat situations, and pilots often experience nausea when operating their machines for long periods of time due to the disproportionality. In modern warfare, Golems, like tanks or horses before them, are thought of as kings of the battlefield. A well piloted Golem is worth an entire company in combat. Many Golem pilots are drawn from the new Nobility, but it is more common for most feudal lords and vassals to draw their Golems from mercenary forces, such as the Ronin. Most nations cannot outright afford their own Golem forces and those who can can only maintain a wing or two (a wing contains 4 Golems). The first generation (003) of Golems consisted of nine prototypes produced by the Colonial Federation Marine Corp. The first of their kind, these state of the art machines were designed by Leonardo Erwin and Missy Erwin on a military research facility on Taurus VII. Golem design has changed little since the first generation save for a few areas such as control and power regulation. The fundamentals have remained the same for a long time, helped by the technological inaptitude of the post Five Alliance humanity. Unique is that these nine prototypes were controlled by AI’s. Thier reflexes were faster than human pilots and they lacked the various control issues many humans experienced in the operation of Skeletons at the time. However the Z3 incident less than a year after their construction destroyed all but one of the units, and the surviving unit 002 was dismantled and crated up shortly after its recovery. The incident caused AI to lose favor, and this feature was abandoned in favor of better OS and cybernetic controls in later generations. While many skeletons at the time used treads on their feets, the first generation of Golems introduced anti-gravity technology to hover of the ground and to propel themselves, improving speed but making traditional means of powering already power-starved skeletons impossible. Due to this, a new cold-fusion reactor was designed to fit into their frames. With the power issue solved Golems greatly surpassed Skeletons, and was used to great effect during the Galactic War and the Patriot Wars. The second Generation (013) was used during the Galactic War between the Colonial Federation and the allied Colonial American Union and Chinese Confederation. Roughly a decade after the destruction of the first generation Golems, the Federation deployed second generation Golems against the ACU and CC but one of the units was shot down an captured early in the war. Towards the wars end both the ACU and CC began deploying their own Golems, and via subterfuge the designs were leaked to both the Neo-Soviet Alliance and the New European Union. The second generation changed little in comparison to the first, featuring little more than an improved OS for human pilots and the use of so called "dumb AI" to interpret human brainwaves. The great change in Golem design would only come in the Third Generation just before the Patriot Wars and the collapse of the Five Alliances. The third generation (The Immortals) of Golems were finished just before the Patriot Wars and the collapse of the Five Alliances. This is the generation that is currently in use in the new Galactic Era. The third generation of Golems used the anti-gravity technology of the first and second to flight enable the Golems. Originally, full flight drained too much power, and was impractical. It drew too much energy from the reactor and put a great deal of strain on the Golem’s power distribution network (experiments during the Galactic War often ended in catostrophic system overloads and explosions to the point the idea was abandoned for nearly three decades). Rather ingeniously, technicians from Eternity Ship Yards in the Colonial American Union built the ESY-301 Rebellion. Using a buffer system, the reactor feeds extra energy into a reserve power cell, which is cut off from the rest of the network. Put into production just before the Patriot Wars, this enabled limited flight of Golems without hampering the rest of their power system. The reserve naturally drains faster than it fills and runs out with time, prompting a landing. Generally a Golem designer aims for fifteen to twenty minutes of full flight before the pilot is forced to land, allowing quick airborne strikes and insertions. More recent in the Galactic Era, Golem designs like the Eternity SY-305 Defiance, popularly known as the "Immortal," and the Goliath G88P Adams - mass produced as the G88 Washington - are capable of flying for around thirty minutes without a need to land, and can refill their reserves in roughly fifteen minutes. In practice pilots limit themselves to about five or six minute bursts of flight, as the reserve fills faster when it is not completely empty, and it boosts the Golem’s combat longevity. This tactic of limited flight time, landing to refill the reserve, and flight again is popularly called "Frogging." The third generation saw the first introduction of diversity in designs. Blackwell Industries in the NEU introduced the first reverse leg-joint Golems, such as the Wolverine. Though, there were reverse joint skeletons prior. In the Galactic era, the elite military force of Valhalla in the Rim, the Valkyrie, also produced a rather unique quadrapedal design called the Fenrir (though there are known control issues with the quad leg system). The Sacred Band has produced another unique design called the Ba'al, with an abnormally large right arm that houses s very short range particle cannon, capable of destroying all but the most heavily armored Golems instantly. Since the creation of third generation Golems, most technological advancement has ceased. In the Post-Five Alliance civilization, humanity lacks the resources or technical skill to develop new technologies beyond what they already have. Most of the major advancements before the Succession War were not original but leftovers from the Five Alliances. The Orbital Elevators, Carriers, and the Golems are all examples. Golems with time effectively become hereditary, as they are expensive to build and produce and pricey to maintain. The Rebellion has been in use since the Patriot Wars, as have dozens of other designs, making it well over 580 years old by the time of the Succession War. In a classic case of stagnation, the knowledge and expertise to maintain humanities current level of technology is a struggle but possible. The knowledge, ingenuity, and resources to develop new technology however does not exist. The current feudal political state is also counterproductive to new technological advancement and a new slew of galactic level warfare also threatens to further set back the hopes of rebuilding human civilization, which could be said to be in a downward spiral since the collapse of the Terran Empire.
Prince of Persia Oh I've been looking forward to this one! I played Sands of Time and was blown away. It may have been one of the funnest platformers I've ever played. I love this series. I played the newest incarnation of this series on Christmas day right after getting it. In the new Prince of Persia you play, well you play some guy who's real name and back story are never given but hey he's mysterious. This time the newest incarnation of the Prince is a prince only in nickname. He's an adventurer of sorts - grave robber - and luck never goes his way. He's finally hit the big haul;a donkey loaded with gold. Unfortunately he loses his donkey and has to trek through a sand storm to find his riches. While searching he has the luck of falling down a canyon, a rock hitting his head, and still not finding that donkey! It seems like it might get better when a really beautiful girl lands on him next but then he only finds her being pursued by men with pointy objects and her psycho dad. The girl's a princess with magical powers, her dad's unleashed the Zorastrian god of darkness, and the prince is stuck saving the day instead of finding his donkey/gold. First, the excellent! Of all the things I was expecting out of the new Prince of Persia, an amazing story was not one of them. Most of the story revolves around the Prince and the princess, Elika, as they fight the evil dark god and his minions to save the world. I found that one of the greatest hits for Sands of Time was the Prince. He was so god damn lovable and so human. Praise the lord we have that once again. Watching the new prince run, jump, climb and fight is a real treasure! He's very laid back, not shaken by danger, and awesomely sarcastic. But he's got a obvious level realism/cynicism that makes him feel as human as the last incarnation and an excellent foil to the idealistic/passionate Elika. Speaking of our heroine, Elika, is a wonderous character! She's probably just entered my top ten for great video game heroines and she whole heartedly deserves it. Her witty comments and interactions with an equally witty prince are beautiful and sing of a character chemistry I haven't seen since Kirk and Spock bold went. She's a great change from the norm of game princesses (I have the feeling she could pull off saving the day prince or no prince), and her role in the story makes me love her all the more. I find half my love for this game has been the two heroes. Elika and the Prince are a relationship that I will call damn near flawless as they interact and speak with a level of believability that is rare in mass media. It may be worth buying the game just so you can watch them interact! The graphics and environments, are beautiful. I know some people don't like cell shaded but tis game really is something to behold. The levels are colorful, great eye candy, and their scale mind boggling. One of the coolest aspects is that the game has no loading screens except when you teleport, which means that while running around there's nothing to break the game for you. The areas are all varied enough to make each one a fun treat to explore and play through. Now for the nasty. There is a bittersweet side to the environments. Elika often aids the prince, saving him from doom, fightng enemies at his side, providing witty comments and picking at his selfishness or silly nature, but she is still a magic user. There are times in the game where you must use powers you've unlocked to proceed and these powers leave the game feeling cheap. I remember in Sands of Time when I scaled the final tower all by myself, jumping, swinging, and climbing all the way to the top. You do that in the new game too, but not in the same way. You'll often use Elika's powers to move great distances and scale the towers faster, though it's not much I feel a little cheated when it's over, wondering why I couldn't use just the princes acrobatic madness to get to the top instead of making my way up via magic. These section's are even easier than the rest of the game, and not much real fun to play and I sort of wonder if I'd feel more accomplished looking from the top knowing I'd climbed the whole damn thing myself. That's just part of it though, and luckily it's the only downside I think anyone can find in Elika (she's such a lovable character I forgave her ). The gameplay I think some people may like, love, or hate. The controls are still tight and excellently put together. It's easy to get into this game once you know what all the buttons do. It's very different from the Sands of Time trilogy in good and bad ways. First be ready for a slight shocker; you can't die in this game. Whenever the prince is in danger from and enemy or close to falling to his doom, Elika will use her magic to save him, throwing the enemy away before the final blow or flying him back to safety. Now surprisingly, this I like. It breaks the annoyance of check points, and means that after completing a section of platforming you don't have to do it all over again if the next kills you as Elika will just warp you back to the last place where you could stand. It's a nice mechanic. I feel it has nothing to really do with the sad fact gameplay is much much MUCH easier. The game no longer has booby traps for the most part and often the only real threat to your survival is falling because you didn't press the right button at the right time, silly little things that you aren't likely to do often. Though I'm glad to see the trial and error of the SoT series go, I'm sad to lose the challenge. The game's platforming is still amazing and gives you a deep satisfaction of bad asery, but it's still too easy when you're only real threat of starting the whole section over is forgetting to press a button (which after awhile you just don't do anymore if you did it at all to begin with). Still though I say again, the crown and glory platforming of the Prince of Persia series is here and still loads of fun for those who are ready no matter how easy it is! The aspect is made even better by the spread of collectable Seeds of Light you pick up to advance in story and to gain achievements. On a bright side, the use of Elika in the game is perfect. She often helps the prince and I never found her to be a hinderance a great change of pace for how side kicks usually play out in game. She won't hold you back she rarely does something stupid, and you never have to wait for her, because if you need her for something, some clever camera work and some slight of hand from the game itself will make her available instantly. I was very pleased with this as I had worried she would be like Farah from Sands of Time who would often do something stupid. Elika is even integrated into fights, tag teaming enemies with the prince to help him fight off the baddies at the press of a button to help you execute two on one combos! Despite this though, the combat of the game is not what I'd hoped for. It's solid and fun, but you hardly ever fight anything. There are very few enemies and they always come one at a time. You fight the same same bosses five times each, and there really is very little difference in between them at all save for one. As such the combat gets repetitive, and though the use of tag teaming your foes with Elika is fun it gets old quickly when fighting most of the enemies follows the same button presses. As you progress in the game sadly, the boss fights cease being challenging and become merely annoying. There are many quick time sequences later in the game which become predictable quickly and are for me a waste of time as even when you kick throw or slash and enemy in these sequences you do no damage to them but risk a fatal blow Elika must save you from and whenever she saves you the enemy will regain hit points that they lost up to a certain point in the fight. Later in the game the bosses will throw five or six events at you one after the next and it only takes one wrong button to screw this up and earn them a good chunk of health back. I don't mind that, otherwise the fights would be too easy, Elika being a permanent get out of hell card and all. But Often I find the events annoying as they just waste your time. You can't deal damage so it feels like a cheap way for the bosses to come at you deal damage to you, maybe earn back some HP, and give you no chance to fight back till it's over. The combat isn't broken or bad it just gets old pretty fast. As a final word, if you like Prince of Persia you may be torn over liking or hating the new changes the game has brought. I love it, I think it's a great game, a little different from the norm with fantastic main characters that I could play it all over again just to redo all their conversations. The game is great held back from true glory by its repetitiveness and being far to easy to play. Final Scores Sound: 8/10 Graphics: 10/10 Story: 10/10 Gameplay: 7/10 Overall: 8/10 Rent or Buy: Rent it probably. If you love the series you may love it but you may hate it so again I think a rent is the best bet. It's a great game but I get the feeling it won't be for everyone.
Call of Duty: World at War Yeah more call of duty . The award winning FPS series returns with a new WWII set offering of crazy firefight but not so epic of a feel. I was hoping the foray back to the war of the century would be a fantastic return to the series roots but sadly I feel a bit unsatisfied. World at War isn't a bad game. It's just that it's more of the same with a few steps back. This time the game has happily provided us with the thus far under implemented Pacific campaign, which in the past has had trouble transferring it's tropical and brutal enemies to the video game scene (if you've played Medal of Honor: Rising Sun, you know what I mean). The scene needless to say is excellent. The pacific war has finally been give a good video game incarnation and the surprise attacks and banzai charges will give you a good run for you're money as you fight to survive in the war against Imperial Japan. The environments of the pacific are amazing and little things like banzai charges and japanese troops playing dead as you walk over their "corpses" is a nice plus to add new gameplay to make the pacific feel like a different war. Also I fell to note that this game probably has the best flamethrower I've ever seen in an FPS and it just feels right in the setting. Another thing I love is that someone's finally grown a brain and realized M1 Garands can be reloaded without completely emptying the clip (so annoying to fire those last two or three bullets into the ground so you can have a fresh clip for the next fire fight because of the most retarded myth I've ever seen in a shooter). Sadly that's where I feel the good ends. This game is littered with little things that just tick me and leave me incredibly frustrated. First the levels are too short. I hate how games these days seem to be giving shorter and shorter solo play experiences as if multiplayer will satisfy us all (it won't). While the campaign often hits strokes of brilliance from the battle for Okinawa to rescue missions in a PBY-Catalina it's easily broken by annoying little issues. While I wasn't fond of the series' modern incarnation that was the fourth entry I did love how the game seemlessly kept the amazing gameplay intact i loved that it had story. It felt like a Tom Clancy novel minus the negative aspects of Tom Clancy's writing! It was great and little snippets like Shock and Awe were mind blowingly exciting, making the game feel like a movie where you play a character or two and watch it unfold. World at War doesn't have this. I can tell they tried but the story is incomprehensible, jumping around all over the place with little guidance. Quite literally the game jumps through time from 1944 to 1942 to the invasion of Okinawa and then back to the fall of Berlin months before. Frankly I'd have preferred it if they'd just dumped Russia all together. Come on guys, if you think D-Day has been done too much, why do we need the battle of Stalingrad in every CoD game especially when it finally looked like we were going somewhere else! The british and the russians fought Japan too you know why couldn't we just stay in the far east instead of jumping through space and time to two completely different fronts? To make matters worse this is the first Call of Duty without a bad arse brit named Price with a crazy cool mustache (damn it it is going to hell). This game is lacking in characters I can care about and after what we got in a cast from Call of Duty 4 it feels like a rip off. The attempts to play off the tragedies of the war in the pacific and the supposed blood lust of the red army's revenge against nazi germany come off as corny and annoying. That's enough about story I suppose. It's an FPS we don't expect much. What really makes and FPS in gameplay but sadly I find myself mixed over what we have here. The game is mind blowingly annoying to play. I prefer to call it Call of Duty: Grenades and Glory. You will literally find half your deaths to be the result of either a horrible grenade danger indicator or the fact that quite literally you will more often than not find that when one grenade lies next to you, five more will follow and surround you giving you no escape. The grenade indicator is to small, I literally don't notice it half the time and even then it doesn't always come up when a grenade is close enough to kill or hurt you. Even if you do see it, be ready to find as many as six or seven (yes six or seven) grenades surrounding you literally offering no chance for survival. In one level (watch out for "Blowtorch and Corckscrew") you will literally find you're self pelted with wave after wave of grenades no more than five steps into the level! It might seem like I'm making a lot of fuss over grenades but I am series. These things have been the only cause of my deaths thus far in veteran difficulty as i am constantly being hounded by the player seeking grenade field of DOOM! This little thing completely breaks the gameplay for me as i spend half my time looking for a way to avoid being blown to bits. It literally leaves me with little to no time to actually shoot anything about 50% of the time I play. To worsen this fact, is that the aiming seems to have taken a drastic hit. You'll find that you'll often hit someone square in the face but not kill them, or not hit them at all a get shot in the face and die in return (veteran difficulty only). You're allies are more useless than usual, often simply standing around looking at the ground or hanging back two or three corners while you fight everyone yourself. The game also lacks the epic feel it has had in the past. The battles don't seem so big, and at times I find that playing the game is less epic fun and more an annoying chore. I also notice that this game that once sounded like a symphony orchestra with fire arms now sounds incredibly generic like the sound files for what the guns actually sound like has been trashed or lost and they didn't think of replacing them. Again I won't say it's a bad game. It's just no where near what I think some might have wanted from it. There are moments of brilliance like the Catalina mission and the opening mission that crack up the annoying monotony. There's even a special (really awesome) surprise for beating the game that doesn't feel very Call of Duty, but is insanely fun none the less. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to buy another copy of the game and find the experience much better like mine is defective or something but I'm not made of money and it's rude to return christmas gifts . Final Scores Sound: 5/10 Graphics: 9/10 Story: 4/10 Gameplay: 7/10 Overall: 6/10 Rent or Buy: I suggest renting it if you don't have online. If you have online, well, come on, it's Call of Duty that part of the game is never going to be bad. If you love the series you might love this game but I've found a multitude of little annoyances that break it for me. I suggest a rent before you do anything else.
Gears of War 2 Let me be frank. I hated Gears of War. Most over hyped game ever created if you ask me. I found nothing seemingly remarkable or endearing about the entire experience. The game was short, it was boring, and frankly it didn’t feel like humanity was on the brink of destruction in any way. Even its apparent crown, the chainsaw bayonet, was to me the most retarded weapon ever conceived in its utter uselessness. Don’t get me started on the multiplayer disaster that lacked even a basic normal game type. Gears of War 2, is not that bad. The story has somehow become epic in transition increasing itself in scale and replayability. The story is a bit more interesting raising a few questions and leaving others, though often it feels like you’re just trudging along for whatever reason. The voice acting is still bad but I did find quite a few lines (mostly those coming from or pointed at Benjamin Carmine quite funny).The entire campaign has gotten an upgrade and now I actually feel like I could play it again. Add to this the fact that the more I play this series the more I think the developers were creating the game on the following concept: “Hey, let’s just make Halo, slow the game down, make it third person and do some plastic surgery to change the setting, characters, and environments so we can call it a killer app.” The story almost feels to me like a Halo copy and paste job but they decided to switch a few things around and put up new wall paper. The multiplayer is still bad. Is it too much to ask for one god damn normal game type? For some odd reason the games creators seem to have this retarded idea that different is better and we aren’t deserving of a normal run around and shoot at people game but rather have to endure retarded modification like enemies who have to be stomped to die or a utter lack of respawns. Then there’s still the horror of the shot gun frag fest which unfortunately still exists. AI bots can sort of give multiplayer some fun if you can’t play online or don’t like to (I don’t) but the absolute horror of the game types confounds me. The one redeeming factor of this game for me is the Horde mode. This rocks. It’s like a Gears-ified version of Rainbow Six Vegas’ terrorist hunt with monster and frankly it is amazing. Oddly you can’t use the AI bots here but that’s ok because people will probably get this game to play with their friends anyway, and trust me you will have no end of fun with this game mode. In conclusion I would like to add that Gears of War 2 is in no way a bad game. Quite the contrary, it’s a good game, but it’s a game that constantly makes me ask myself “so what?” It has a lot of flash and neat stuff but at its core no substance. You can enjoy this game, you really can, and I’m sure there’s something wrong with me to dislike it to the degree I do when everyone else seems to love it but I just fail to see what makes this game so great. I would say that if you didn’t like the first Gears don’t bother. If you liked it give this a buy because you will love it. Final Scores Sound: 8/10 Graphics: 10/10 Story: 4/10 Gameplay: 7/10 Overall: 7/10 Rent or Buy: Buy it if you loved the first gears, ignore it if you hated the first. If you’re somewhere in the middle renting never hurt anyone.
Dead Space Let me start with this: Dead Space is the e = mc2 of survival horror games. For once we actually have a game with the horror label that is actually scary. Not the zombie head explosion festivals of Resident Evil or the awkward but hardly scary Silent Hill series. This game will scare you from start to finish with constant fear of something being around the next corner waiting to grab you and bite you to death. Play it in the dark if you like but don’t blame me when you’re in the fetal position checking every air vent in the room with a nail gun and flash light. Moving on to the review. Dead Space places you in the shoes of engineer Isaac Clarke. Isaac has come to the Ishimura to repair the massive orbital mining ship (called a planet cracker) after it sent a distress call reporting sabotage and strange happenings but then lost contact with its parent company C.E.C. But lets face it, it’s never that easy. Unfortunately Isaac’s ex-girlfriend, Nicole is also on board. Unfortunately she sent poor Isaac a message before the Ishimura dropped off the radar, and things didn’t look or sound too good. Of course, as with all horror games, things pretty much go horribly astray from the get go when you’re ship explodes, have your crew is mangled and some monstrous abominations are chasing you high and low looking to tear you to bits . As a setting, this game hits the peak of perfection. The levels are balanced and fun to play through, and even the times where you back track manage to offer a good deal of entertainment with new baddies and areas to open. The Ishimura may just have replaced the Battlestar Galactica as my favorite spacecraft. The ship looks great. The interiors are nice and built in perfect tune with the story’s chilling atmosphere and concept. Occasional sounds such as a wrench clattering along and a random scream will have you constantly shivering wondering if something’s about to happen as you explore the dark environments all alone and fearing that you just might find what you’re hoping you won’t. Honestly I’d call the atmosphere the most incredible part of this game. Ishimura is perfect, and really makes this game what it is; awesome. The ship is easy to traverse. If you can’t figure out where to go by reading the map, you can also click the right stick and follow the nice holographic line. You don’t need to worry about getting lost or having no idea where to go. It’s all fairly well laid out and easy to follow. You never have a HUD disrupting you’re view as all you’re information appears on you’re character. Ammunition is on your gun, health a long blue bar on Isaac’s back. I also feel the need to note that the zero gravity sections of the game are insanely brilliant. Jumping from bulk head to bulk head to reach a door on the far side and doing more than a little puzzle solving as you work is just awe inspiring. Mix in the solid puzzle solving, a limited air supply, and occasional creepy critters, it makes me wish someone would make an entire game with nothing but zero-g! The enemies are just as good, with a wide arrange of types from simple attackers and tanks, to little jumpers and enemy spawners. The Necromorphs are as creepy as a game villain can get and are some of the coolest who will ever enter you’re gun sights. They swarm in when you least expect it, often jumping in as soon as you’ve let you’re guard down, popping through the floor, jumping through the ceiling, tearing through vents, and even the dead one’s should be watched carefully if they’re on the ground but you didn’t shoot at them. The fact that you have to shoot of the limbs (trust me, the head doesn’t help you much here) only makes the whole scenario that much creepier. The bosses are a little easy (save for the final boss) but every now and then you’ll find a moment where the generic enemies are going to cause a heart attack. How do you fight these murderous abominations? Mining tools. No I’m serious you there who’s looking at me like I’m crazy. Mining tools. Don’t let that fool you though. These improvised weapons are as lethal as they come (there’s a reason miners need to be careful with nail guns). You can find all you’re typical pistols, shot guns, and other generic weapons here in the form of mining equipment. The weapons are all useful and all upgradable. You’ll find a situation where every single one is useful in some way to aid in you’re survival. Upgrade them to boost reload speed, damage, and clip capacity along with other factors that vary by weapon. Put it all together and you’ve got all the fire arms you’ll ever need to fight the infection. Better yet, they control fluidly and perfectly. No more sloppy or sluggish horror game controls, this is how a horror game should feel in your hands. Combat can vary easily leaving you more than just the shot till they drop option to dispense enemies. There are occasional environmental hazards and some items of your own such as a stasis field and telekinesis. Item management is fairly easy. You get only a few storage spots at the start but as you upgrade your armor you’ll find you are getting more space to put things. You items menu appears in front of Isaac via a holographic display which in my view is a brilliant idea. Using the most necessary ones is easy too as you just have to press X to heal on the fly. The story is not the best aspect of the of the game but it functions perfectly as you and you’re surviving fellow engineers attempt to survive this orbiting death trap. There are few cut scenes and they are all played out in front of your character via a holographic display meaning you’re never taken out of the game experience. As you traverse the Ishimura in your quest for survival you’ll come across video, audio, and text recordings that can fill you in on the crew, and the events leading up to the Ishimura’s downfall. Surprisingly as you read. Listen, and watch these tid-bits you’ll find you might actually come to like some of these folks and pity that they’re not around anymore. They are really an interesting bunch ranging from lovers, mad men, religious fanatics, and a mad religiously fanatic scientist! You might even start to like you’re engineering compatriots as you all work to escape the ship right up to the end of the game. I honestly can’t think of a single major complaint as I played through this game. To reiterate: Yeah it’s that good. It has struck the perfect balance between difficulty and ease of play, constantly challenging but never frustratingly difficult in a way that you want to throw the controller into you’re TV. The controls are solid and flawless and the game looks and sounds incredible. If it were up to me I’d call it the greatest horror game ever made. The only little nit-picks I could in any way come up with are small, so small in fact they’re barely worth noting but I’ll give them to you anyway. At times Isaac feels more like a Fed-ex delivery boy than a hero. He spends most of his time running around and picking up stuff for you’re compatriots to aid in you’re survival and though it varies it is mostly a take the package from point A to point B and kill some badies on the way if you could please sort of thing. The puzzles are fun but might leave you a bit confused as to what to do at one and can be overly simplistic during the rest. The game can be a little short at about 10-12 hours to complete a play through, but honestly, I can see myself replaying the story three or four times easily. The map can at times be oddly angled making it difficult to read as well. Also of note is that though Isaac says he's looking for Nicole, he never really acts like it. Granted he has other worries but he never seems to go out of his way to search for her or to let his search interfere with surviving. It never actually feels like much of a story factor. But frankly these things feel insignificant next to the rest of the game. It’s amazing and frankly I can’t think of any reason not to buy and play it till you’re eyes bleed (unless you don’t like horror or want single player). Final Scores Sound: 10/10 Graphics: 10/10 Story: 9/10 Gameplay: 10/10 Overall: 10/10 (No, you’re not imagining that. It’s a perfect score ) Rent or Buy: I'm leaning towards buy (buy it! Buy it NOW) but give it a rent if you want to be sure. No real harm in it.
Well, this is here as an explanation for what I'm putting into the "My Writings" section so no body gets confused. This is basically a place where I can shove any miscellaneous information I write up to keep things straight in my head that once it's done. It tends to just sit in my PC because most of it is behind the scenes non-sense unrelated to the story lines they concern in any direct manner that would make them worthy of mentioning. I use it and stuff but some of it in my eyes is some pretty good backstory so I figure I might as well do something with it rather than let it sit around being lazy while the stories do all the work for them. I don’t really know if anyone cares but I’m putting it here anyway because I can and it’s mostly miscellaneous information for me that never makes it into the actual story line but that I guess someone out there might find interesting. Read it if you like, even comment if you have anything to say . After spending hours putting some of these "articles" as I'm going to call them, together, I feel like it’s sort of a waste to let it sit on its butt in a file in the dark attic that is my PC's Documentation index.
The following is my personal list of the top 25 games of all time. I've been thinking of this for years constantly changing it as new games come out and bump older ones off the list but I might as well give out my list as it exists now (it hasn't changed for about a year now). The list is organized in order from 1-25, with the title, system, developer, and the year the game was released also listed afterwards. For some I will give a reason why I chose the games. 1. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64, Nintendo, 1998) I really shouldn’t have to explain this one. This game just rocked. Call it overrated or over-hyped if you like but you just can’t deny what this beauty meant for gaming. Revolutionary graphics, context-sensitive controls, a new degree of scale in bosses and environments, and a degree of polish and quality that rivals many of the games that come out today. You just can’t have a Tops list without this game on it, and it’s hard to argue from a all around standpoint it doesn’t belong in the Top of the Top. 2. Super Mario Brothers (SNES, Nintendo, 1985) What can I say I do love the classics. Super Mario Brothers is notable not just for its revolution of the early 2D-platform genre, but for saving gaming. After the American Video Game market crashed in 1984 from over-saturation, it was Nintendo’s NES and Super Mario brothers that jumped in an saved the day for the future of all games everywhere. Plus, you can sit and play this thing till your eyes bleed! It’s everything Retro gaming should be, and was… two decades ago… 3. Final Fantasy VII (Playstation, Square, 1997) You can really argue this one. I like it the most of the Final Fantasy Series, but I do acknowledge that many others agree that it wasn’t the best of them. Rather I like too see this game for introducing many features ideas, and concepts that have continued to drive RPG’s today. Final Fantasy Seven gave RPG’s a place outside of Japan, as they had long struggled to reach the casual gamers in the American markets. Its level of story, characterization, and its game play mechanics defined the genre. Its villain is widely considered as one of the best to ever come from a game, and its hero is a classical and iconic image for the entire series from which he comes. It is also notable as one of the first games for many, in which a central and beloved character dies. 4. Goldeneye 007 (N64, Rare, 1997) While Wolfenstein may have created the FPS genre, it was Rare’s release of one of the few good movie video games that defined it. Goldeneye was really a candidate for the number one spot in my book but seeing how I have a tendency to force myself to consider more than just my personal enjoyment in how good a game can be and it’s significance in a Tops list, I had to bring her down lower behind other games. But don’t get me wrong there are quite a few major innovations in what was in my opinion the best shooter of it’s generation. Goldeneye popularized the idea of a zoom in sniper rifle that gives all of us the right to scream “Boom! Headshot!” over our microphones, and then brag when we get a No Scope sniper kill. Furthermore no shooter before Goldeneye had used area specific damage, meaning that Goldeneye was the first games where a headshot could mean an instant kill. 5.Starcraft (Windows, Blizzard Entertainment, 1998) You really can’t have a Tops list without this one showing up somewhere. This iconic RTS game is considered by many the greatest game ever to enter its genre. It’s use of three races, a widely acclaimed and beloved story line, and well-implemented game play are considered to have set the standard for every RTS that came after it. Plus, for the nation of South Korea, it’s practically a national pass-time! 6. Super Mario 64 (N64, Nintendo, 1996) Nintendo's Italian stereotypes first adventure in 3D really can't be ignored. It contained many platform innovations that are still in play today, including its use of a controllable camera and it's analog control and it's basic level design concepts. 7. Grand Theft Auto III (Playstation 2, Rockstar Games, 2001) Ranked as possibly one of the greatest games ever made, Grand Theft Auto III, though not the first game of its series or type, did bring the series into it’s crowning glory. Popularizing the sand-box style of previous games such as The Getaway, and adding new levels of open ended game play, Grand Theft Auto like many other games I’ve listed in the Top Ten, was not only a boatload of fun, but a game that set a standard for everything that came after it. 8. Halo: Combat Evolved (XBox, Bungie, 2001) Halo reminds me much of Harry Potter or Twilight. It really doesn’t seem that different from the rest, but somehow it holds something over you that you just can’t escape. However, unlike Harry Potter or Twilight, Halo meant something else. Revolution. Halo revitalized what had become for many a dying or generic genre. It introduced a control scheme and game play format that has been imitated time and again, and brought back the FPS genre from a cold stagnation it had sat in for well over a half decade and was well regarded for its superior enemy and ally AI in comparison to it’s compatriots and its incredible symbolism and stock, but iconic main character. Also of recognition are its effects on Pop Culture. Red vs. Blue, a drama comedy developed by Rooster Teeth that many attribute as popularizing Machinima animations. It’s sequel Halo 2, set forth a standard for online gaming on console systems, and was a massive cultural phenomenon that spanned a massive release and is one of the first games to be treated on equal footing by media giants with the releases of music and movies. It is notable for popularizing the Lan Party among more casual gamers. 9. Marathon: Durandal (Macintosh, Bungie, 1994) Personally, I played this game on my PC using the Aleph One mod, but it really doesn't downplay the obvious significance the game must have had at the time it was released. Most people I know have never heard of it, but as a game, it was one of the first shooters to include any real degree of a story line and characterization, and the first to feature Dual Wielding weapons and voice chat multiplayer. 10. Doom (MS-DOS, iD Software, 1993) Personally, I never got much into Doom. I thought the idea behind the game was a little stupid. But you really can’t argue with its massive importance. Doom gave birth to a new level of 3D graphics, was a major pioneer in multiplayer, and most notably, giving birth to Mod culture that has become a major block for the PC market. Here’s the rest. I’m not giving explanations for all of them. You can look them up online and in various review archives or search Wikipedia, which is very good for picking up public opinions as well as ratings. 11. Age of Empires (Windows, Ensemble Studios, 1997) 12.Sid Meier’s Civilization II (Windows, Microprose, 1996) 13. Halo 2 (XBox, Bungie, 2004) 14. Grand Turismo (Playstation, Polyphony Digital, 1997) 15. Mario Kart 64 (N64, Nintendo, 1997) 16. Pong (Arcade, Atari, 1972) 17. Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube, Capcom, ) 18. Rome: Total War (Windows, The Creative Assembly, ) 19. Wolfenstein 3D (MS-DOS, iD Software, 1992) 20. Metal Gear Solid (Playstation, Konami, 1998) 21. Super Smash Brothers (N64, Nintendo, 1999) 22. Street Fighter II (Arcade , Capcom, 1990) 23. Final Fantasy X (Playstation 2, Square Soft, 2001) 24. Space Invaders (Arcade, Taito, 1978) 25. Devil May Cry (Playstation 2, Capcom, 2001)
I picked this little toy up over fall break and since I've been trying to force myself to do more reviewing of electronic media for awhile I decided to force myself. Too Human for the XBox 360 Reviewed This game, quite literally, is nearly as old as the mythology it presents. Having been conceptualized over a decade ago, it's taken three console generations, a lawsuit, and many tears to bring this game to us. Too Human is wacky sci-fi take on the classics of Norse Myth. We got gods, we got giants, and somehow they've all become very well armed, armored, and very mechanical. In Too Human you play as Baldr, the Norse god of Light and Beauty. Baldr is a god, which in this game means he has been enhanced with Golden Apples (Cybernetics) to make him better, faster, stronger, and supposedly costing a million dollars. As this super powered machine-man of death and destruction you fight the machines which threaten to destroy the humans you protect. If you think that sounds like a stupid idea, it is. If you think its an interesting idea, it is. Too Human really has a hit or miss story line. At times, the sacred cows that are Thor and Loki are so horrible, you wish there was a boss fight that allowed you to kill them. At other times, the game shies just short of story telling brilliance. The primary flaws in the games story, are the horrible characterization, the horrible placed cutscenes that just seem to be waiting to ruin what you doing at the moment, and the inaccuracies of some characters (somewhere along the line Freya became a slut, Baldr isn't dead like he should be... oh and Grendel has seemingly jumped ship from Anglo-Saxon to Norse myth). Thankfully, you can skip most of the cut scenes will a press of B (Odin be praised!). I also feel the need to emphasize, that even though the story is bad, the environments and the general look of the game, is wonderful. It's like Lord of the Rings meets Halo, and there's no going wrong with that! Now we get to the real dilemma. Honestly, the story doesn't really matter. Too Human, like Diablo, is all about the loot. You go into the dungeon, crawl around, destroy the mechanical versions of the Elves, Trolls, and Goblins, and collect the riches! How do you destroy them? You build your character, load him up with the heavily customizable weapons and armor that any RPG fan will love, and get too it. You level up, build your skills that range from elemental damage, offensive and defensive buffs, auto-turrets, mines, and healing and shielding skills, that make every class worth playing with and worth using. You pick one of five classes, each with their own advantages and disadvantages. The classes are pretty well balanced for the most part. There are three paths for each class that all offer you options depending on your play style, and then there are the alignment skill lines that can further boost your kill count potential. My only complaint is that only the Bio-engineer is able to heal himself (the other classes need to rely on the dumb luck of something they just killed dropping a health pick up). This, is annoying. It pretty much makes experiencing a unskippable and over-long death sequence a common and unavoidable occurrence for all the other classes for most of the game. Why would the other classes die so much? Lets just say that the games combat, is truly hit or miss. You use the right control stick in melee to swing around and take out the badies; tossing them into the air for a devastating air strike, blowing through them with powerful slide attacks, simply bash in their skulls in violent barbarian fashion. In theory this works great, and in practice it shows. However, ever now and then, the system is going to screw you, and you'll die a very cheap and ludicrous death. This is especially true for enemies who upon death, explode, and can cause quite a bit of damage. Not into melee? Cool, lets go ranged with dual pistols, rifles, and cannons of three different ammo types. There's only one problem; Aiming. Like your melee combat, the game relies of the right stick to pick a target. it's really not that bad, until there's a swarm of enemies coming at you, and one them is the kind that blows up upon death. Normally you don't want to rush sword first and cut them to ribbons, least the badie blow up and take you down moments later. Except you can't hit him! It's really a trial to aim for anything specific. When pointing in a specific direction, you really can only hope the gun targets the desired enemy, and if it doesn't the only option is too keep shooting and hope you can mow them all down. The camera itself is beyond control. With the right stick and the buttons dedicated to combat and skills, only the left bumper controls the camera, and all it does is point it in the direction you character is looking in. Normally, this isn't a problem (almost never is it a problem really), but there are occasional times when the camera does something funky that can really throw you off your groove. The gameplay certainly has advantages. With the right stick control and some practice, melee becomes fluid and fast paced, allowing you to hack through the machine hoards with ease too pick up the glorious spoils afterwards. Ranged combat can work well too, gunning down hoards with your rifle or mixing it into your melee to soften up targets before having at them with that fancy hammer of yours. When you get it going, its unbelievably fun! It has all the smooth crisp action of Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden, minus the risk of hacking away at the air or dashing right by a target and missing. At other times, its a disaster. Sometimes the enemies come in so fast you can't shoot or hack fast enough to save yourself. Without the ability to heal or regenerate, poor and sometimes overly difficult crowd control is the big killer in this game (and the Bio-Engineer's combat skills are so weak he dies even with his regeneration). The combat flaws can be easily managed with experience, and if you can pick up on some subtle techniques, you can glide throw your foes like a war hammer and the human skeleton. Once your into it, its smooth, crisp, and easy as pie. The problem is how hard it is to get the hang of the system, and how at times, no matter what you do, a mass of enemies or a crazy camera are going to kill you. There is however one other awesome side to the game. Co-Op. At times, it really feels like the game was made for playing with a Norse God loving buddy over Live. Mix character classes and styles together to build the ultimate team of monster slayers and collect all that precious loot together. Many of the classes have abilities that can compliment others. The Bio-engineer can heal allies, and it's regeneration power, being a group skill benefits your partner. The Defender's bait ability can drawn enemies too you, saving your partner if he's struggling, and the Beserker and Champions combat skills can mix with just about everyone to form a flurry of melee and bullets. Co-op just plain rocks, and none of the horrible badly placed story cut scenes are present in it (which is really a plus in my eye). Having a partner really opens up potential for Too Human, and gives it something you just don't get in single player. It's hard to decide whether or not the game is truly bad. It's just that after 9 years of development, I was expecting more than a game with a horrible story, hit or miss combat, and that can be finished in ten hours. Luckily, it's massively replayable, and even though there are some major problems, they can be easily managed once you've gotten a hang of the controls and how to keep the enemies from overrunning you (Don't count on you're allies to help much/ Enemies always go for you first, and they tend to just stand there and shoot into the air). Is Too Human bad? No. Could it have been better? Much! Despite all it's annoyances, I'm going to pack it with a 7 out of 10. You can probably find better games in this genre, but for co-op dungeon looting and furiously fast combat once you're into it, there aren't many options that are better. The Co-op really brings the game head on into glory. Let me warn you, single player is limiting. Many of the classes are built to have another player cover their weak points or enhance their strengths through passive abilities and battle cries. You can play the game by yourself and have a blast! But honestly, unless your a major fan of dungeon crawling loot collecting, and character building, rent the game before buying. Without co-op it's missing something special. If you're iffy, give it a rent and see how it goes. Final Scores Sound: 8 /10 Graphics: 8/10 Story: 5/10 Gameplay: 6/10 Overall: 7/10 Rent or Buy: Could go either way. I suggest a rent first to see how you like it. Give this baby a chance. You just might find a unstoppable amount of fun with it after surviving the first few frustrating hours.
Just something I threw together for some silly fun. Conspiracy Theory Area 51, the government facility made famous by such films as Independence Day. What most people don’t know is that Area 51 is itself a conspiracy! That’s right. The conspiracy theory is a conspiracy. What could the conspiracy be you ask. I’ll tell you. Area 51 is just a cover for Area 52! Yep that’s right. Area fifty flipping two. Everyone is so preoccupied with Area 51 they never both looking on the other side of the parking lot. Who is behind the Area 51 conspiracy you ask? The US government that’s who! How do I know? Fox Mulder told me. Yep the X-Files are real. The TV show is just a cover so no one will ever believe Fox. I met him at a science fiction convention. The X-Files stand by coincidence. I swear he really looks like the actor from the show. Seriously though, he was so mad that he was laughing as he told me the story! Believe it or not almost every TV show is a cover up by the government to discredit anyone who tries to rat them out. Star Gate? Really happened. Michael Shanks and MacGyver work for the government going through a giant metal ring to fight aliens regularly! I know. Just go to Vancover Canada. The whole scheme is cleverly hidden as a studio set! Yep the US government does it, sometimes the British and the French help too. National Treasure was a co-authored work of non-fiction written by President Reagan, Queen Elizabeth, and Francois Maurice Adrien Marie Mitterrand with help from Stephen King and Tom Clancy. What’s that? Two of those people weren’t presidents when National Treasure came out? Though, luck! All movie scripts are written forty years before they’re ever put in production. Star Wars Episode XXII? Already written. Spoiler: Luke Skywalker’s dead by the year 3405 BY! How is all this achieved you ask? George Washington wrote the first movie script in 1779. By then he was already president. Did you know every election is decided ten years in advanced by the Knights Templar and Oprah! Yes, Oprah is that powerful. She’s been picking US presidents for over 400 years. The first president was Edward Maria Wingfeld, president of Jamestown in 1607! Oprah even picked Kennedy then had him assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald. Yep Harvey did. How did he do it? He had a clone shoot Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll and then the original took the fall! Clones are real. How do you think George W. Bush was created? The clone didn’t like how the original ended Iraq so he cloned the Gulf War too. How did we learn to clone? Even the Gulf War is a conspiracy. They’re not playing Golf over there. If they were, America would have won already cause we have Tiger Woods. Its as much a travesty as the Hundred Years War, which is actually two Fifty Year Wars that just happened to be back to back. This manipulation history is horrible and as much a conspiracy as Area 51. Why would someone make two Fifty Year wars one Hundred Years War you ask? For the same reason the Germany was bankrupt at the end of WWII. Nazi gold! You see it all goes back to the X-Files and the crazy super powerful forces trying to conquer the world. Everyone says it’s the Illuminati or the CIA, but no. Its GOD! Christians like the whole love and respect thing but we all know what it real is. A front, so some alien entity can rule us all! Think about, he always knows where you are, he hears everything you think and say, and he has an army of angels following you around everywhere you go! It’s the ultimate conspiracy!
I keep telling myself I should review movies and games since I spend so much time watching and playing them, most of the time mocking them. I figured I should just try it out and see how it goes. Smokin' Aces was the last film I saw, yesterday, so I'll start with that. Smokin' Aces Review What is there to say about Smokin' Aces? Hmmm. Well, its yet another movie that could have been very good, but just wasn't. In Smokin' Aces, a snitch named Buddy 'Aces' Israel has snitched on a powerful mob family and is attempting to work out a deal with the FBI. Sadly, the mob is onto him and they send every insane psycho with a fire arm or a blade to kill him. Meanwhile, FBI agents and bail bonds men hunt him down to protect him or bring him to justice. What happens when a hoard of murderous psychopaths come together? Chaos. Smokin' Aces has a horrible opening, one of the worst. With so many characters and factions fighting over Buddy Israel, its a real trial trying to understand who wants him, why, and how they plan to get him. With so many characters, the film takes forever in the introductions and even when the intro's are over, unless you have a perfect memory, you'll have a hard time remembering half the character's names. Even worse, the film is so short there is almost no time to know or understand any of them. The only character you ever get a good feel for is Buddy, and he's such a static and random character you never reall care about him and may just wish one of the assassin's kills him. Story? Well the story is practically non-existant. The film juggles so many groups and characters that its hard to find a coherent storyline. Keeping track of who is doing what and when is made worse by horrible timing in scene transitions, especially towards the middle of the film. Scene will change at the worst possible moments, almost making me wonder if they wanted us to miss half the movie and half of what the characters are doing. The worst part of the film is that rather than building suspense and anticipation for the final battle, characters just start killing each other randomly, knocking out many before the climax even comes. When the climax of the film does come, half the characters are dead or incapacitated and the horrible scene transitions make it difficult to assertain who is doing what. By the time the chaos of the 'final battle' is over, you are left with a hollow feelign that you've been cheated out of a perfectly good action film and wishing that the film would just end. Nope. The film keeps going through a perposterous and random conspiracy theory of stupidity. Overall, as an action film Smokin' Aces is a failure, as the film destroys itself before the action even has a chance to begin. I'd like to say there is something redeeming about the film but there really isn't. There is a nice comedy stint half way through that some may find entertaining, and one character in particular can be quite funny but in the end, its nothing that can redeem the film and its nearly moronic plot line and hollow characters. I would say that if you like generic action films, you might enjoy Smokin' Aces. It has a few moments of fun and excitement and laugh or two along the way. In the end though, this film is worth seeing maybe once and never again. It could ahve been better. Add another hour to build suspense and character development and it could have passed for OK. But we didn't get that. We got something that can only be described as silly and rediculous (In a bad way). Rating: 2/5