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  1. Get your hybrid and e-cig and bathroom that runs on poopoo out of my life, you moron.

    On a pretty major intersection on El Molino Ave, CA 91106, (just to give you a visual), an idiot noob in a white annoying Prius turns sharp left while I'm going straight. We collide past the middle of the intersection. Slight bump. I survived with a minor scratch on the front left bumper because I'm a genius driver. I drive like I'm a dood. Don't get feminist on me. My mom drives like she is Korean. She is Korean, relative newbie to America.

    My "beh emm veh" has the battle scars of a pro, and the missing license plate lends color and credibility to my image. Nowadays, I like to think I have "an angel on my shoulder but a devil in my head".

    The other driver got wheeled away on a stretcher. Hysterical. Freaking out and jumping around sweating. Engine smoking. Thank god the guy didn't pass out. I couldn't even get his info properly. Might have seemed inappropriate.

    He is sucha nubbly wubbly, doods. He can probably can take can take credit for THIS:

    "2012 Toyota Prius Two
    Written by: tommyterrific on Oct 11, 2012 1:51:35 PM
    Hello Everybody, We just purchased this car 2 days ago, and were given the "HARD sell" to purchase an extended warranty. What does anybody have for an opinion on this matter? Thanks, TT"

    Bottom line: Thank you GAWD for my life, my boring days, and the fact that I was paying attention.

    Driving is all about attention span. That's really all there is to it. People who space out or go manic-depressive or paranoid on the road better not dare judge my Bimmer, or come close enough to look at my school tramp stamp on my butt.

    People get rationally furious in an accident. The car, and the institution of "safety" and "adulthood" failed you. Nothing is infallible. You're not special. It really does happen to you. Oh btw man, you have cancer because you smoke and you lied when you said you only smoke e-cigs.

    I love how I had to hand in my interim driver license to the police officer. Single, btw. Made fun of my "interim" paper license.

    Him: So where's your REAL license?

    Me:....@#@$%#$%

    Him: Ahhh. You're one of those new drivers.

    Me: ...@$@#%#%$#

    Him: So you have an INTERIM license?

    He's lucky he's cute. Or I woulda slugged him. No really, I would have. I could have. I should have.

    Omgosh. I think he's into me. He gave me his card. Has his name on it and number and everything!!!!! Maybe I should ask him what is a better name for our third child: Lucy or Charlie (both girl names. Eff you.) Oh and if he doesn't want to shave the heads of our babies, then so be it. It's not meant to be. My aunt shaved my cousin's head twice when she was a baby. People thought she was a dood baby, but she now has thick, super cool hair.
  2. If it's your dream school, it will fail you.

    If it's your dream job, you will fail at it.

    Do something that you know makes money that you are good at. Do something to make you good at it.

    It's very stressful to invent. You have to trip your mind outside of your usual mind-frame, go out on a limb, and offer up a brainchild for judgement.
    To be good at that, you need to know what fails, what succeeds, and how to succeed, most of the time, in creating the inventions your profession calls for.

    Education helps you invent, create, build, improve, and take credit for discarded success of the past. If you travel for a while and say you're doing it to learn form life experience, make sure you know where you're going, and what you need to cover, (basically what your peer group is doing while you think you have the time to vacation).

    I used to want to be a teacher. Professor. English. Writer on the side.

    Here's why I am going to be a journalist.

    I already know it's going to be boring. It makes more money. Cooler people to make friends with. I have no expectations other than making sure I get the right amount of education to be better than most at it. I know I'd be good at it. It will land me a longer life until I have to die. I don't want kids. I like having more stuff than teacher's have.
  3. Help me want the right things. I never get what I want. Now I only want what i can have, so I want nothing. I'm tired of wanting nothing.


    Tell me what to want.


    I'm tired of being my own daughter. You can be my parents.


    Please curse everybody in the world but me and make me telepathic so I'm more special than anyone I've ever heard of and then I'll find out how to make money off of being telepathic.

    Make me more special than anyone else.

    Make me live forever.

    That's all I want.

    Now help me want the right things.


    in jejus name amen and p.s. Kill that one guy for me. Oh and give me my brother's recording studio so my voice doesn't sound like holy cr@p. As it stands, I got LogicPro but my microphone is utter garbage and I stopped using GarbageBand but I can't record vocals until I sneak into my/his recording studio, so can you make him either gimme it or die or move out or something? Oh and make me pure of heart so I can see You face. Okay, Amen for realz.


    I fully expect my inbox to be flooded by prayer requests.


    Oh, and I'm bored. Any creepsters wanna PM? This site is kinda slow. Life is slow for me right now.
  4. All good books have something in common: they are more real than real life, truer than if they had really happened. Reading any book has an art to it, especially good books. Look at the words as if you are reading them for the first time. Inversely, writing a good book is an art; write as if your are reading your own words, as if you invented language. Break conventions.

    The short honest truth is that anyone can write a book. Usually, beginners want permission. You don’t need any. There is no license required, no prerequisites, no test beforehand to pass. Writing is different from publishing in that almost no financial or physical resources are required. Paper, pen, and effort are the only requirements, as shown by thousands of years. If Marquis de Sade and Voltaire could write in prison, anyone can do it in the comfort of suburbia, after lunch at work, while your children are at school or asleep, or at your local coffee shop/library.
    If you want to make a book, kill the myths, kill the magic, kill the glamour: a book is a book is a book is just a bunch of words. Just start, like fixing the toaster or running errands. It’s a part of your day. You might seriously suck, but it’s a starting point for the great book. Writing a good book is different in from a bad book only in that it requires work. Be diligent. Where there is made effort, there is a reward.

    My truth is that I love to write. I get better the more I read. The more you sound like a good book, the better your books will get. I love the idea that people can just make up creating and fulfill a pseudo reality on a blank canvas, whether for enjoyment of for someone else to read and find pleasure in. That’s freaking cool.
    Writing doesn’t have to be pleasurable, but you should enjoy your work at the end, knowing it’s a good book. If you enjoy the sugar sweetness of catching words off-guard and stringing them out to dry in sentences, then great. But some writers just do it because they are good at it. They just form language, beat up linguistic meat, and create good books. How? Sorry. Practice makes perfect.

    How do you know if your book is starting with a good idea? Will anyone like the idea? Yes. You have to like it. That’s the beginning. A good book starts with your own approval. You don’t want to seek validation from reviewers or other readers. Many people question others looking for proof that their plot or book summary or idea is any good. You are the one doing all the work. You will be the one investing time and energy into a long process. Like your own work, even if you don’t particularly like writing at first or in general. If you don’t like what you’ve made, scrap it. If you don’t like an idea, omit. If your book idea won’t leave you alone, that’s a sign that it will make for a good book.
    Only cowards need permission to write. They procrastinate because they are afraid of failure. Bottom line? Make it and see how your audience reacts. You don’t have to be a good book to be a book. You don’t have to change the world with every word. Just make something and see what happens. No one will see how you started your story, so why bother with fear?

    If you care about your book’s every element, that will make for the possibility of a good book. I personally wish I were my every character; makes it easier to write. You have to care about the characters, feel them out, know every little aspect of their psychology. A good book has real characters, many layers and dynamite dimensions.
    If in the end, you are the only person that reaps any value from what you create, that in itself justifies your efforts. Years later, when you fall in love with your book all over again, it will be an awesome feeling, simply because you made it. Your book is good because it’s yours, a creation you spent a part of your life on. Whatever is good enough to be a book you’d read is a good book in your opinion. As the author, at the end of the day, it’s your opinion that matters.

    Now publishing it? That’s a whole different world.
  5. wow

    At half mast
    The prowling jungle beast
    Is alert and on the prowl,
    In need of moisture in the triangle
    Of forests and castle strategies.
    Invasion tactic. Charge.
    Plan: get gold and kill feminists
    That are girls and are still healers.
    Make out session with
    A soon2be rap supastar
    After the domination of
    Two Italian guys who
    Are asking for it.
    LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!!