So there I was just sitting with my friends in the school yard when a guy a few years above me stode over with his gang of friends. I looked up but saw who it was and just ignored him, I didn't want any trouble, but he stopped in front of me and just stood there. After a minute or two he shoved me on the shoulder. I looked him in the eye and he said "oi you get up and fight me" I told him no and that I didn't want any trouble. But then his friends started in on me calling me a wimp and a chicken. So I stood up just so I could walk away but he shoved me again. I didn't want to fight so i didn't react. Next thing I know two of his friends picked me up by the wrists and ankles and threw me against a tree. I landed in a heap at the base of the tree. They surrounded me and started in on the insults. "you're pathetic" "you're worthless" " you have no friends" "you'll never get anywhere" "you'll die on the streets"
I was in tears but not because of the insults or being thrown into a tree but because there was two teachers not one but TWO teachers standing at the side of the yard watching and doing nothing.
So I would like to let those teachers know that I have never forgiven you for letting me suffer like that. I never will because of that I haven't fully trusted adults since then. So well done on ruining a major part of my life.
Got to keep running. Can’t stop. Got to keep going. Can’t get caught. Have to keep going. Don’t turn round. Look ahead and keep running. Can’t let him get you. Don’t want to die.
These thoughts just kept running through my head as I ran as fast as I could along the dark unlit alleyways of what was once the public hub of Liverpool city centre. I could still hear his feet pounding against the tarmac or what was left of it anyway, could I risk a quick glance? No don’t turn keep running. My foot caught against a piece of tarmac that was basically standing up in the middle of the road. I flew to the ground face first. I heard a dark chuckle from above me. I felt a heavy foot between my shoulders holding me down against the ground. My face burned where it hit the concrete, and my ankle throbbed. A sharp pain in my neck and then black.
The next thing I knew I was awake, barely, and strapped down to hard table. I turned my head to see around the room. Next to me, on a small metal table, were a collection of small metal medical instruments.
A faint creak behind me as a door opened. Heavy footsteps came closer and then a voice.
Right well. I was walking home today and I bumped into a guy I knew from Primary School. He took one look at me, laughed and said "you're still retarded you complete loser." Then he walked off. After a while i walked past another person from Primary School and they stopped me. They too laughed and said I was still a loser. I carried on still with my head held high.
Then i turned a corner and saw one of my friends from Primary School I stopped to talk to them. I expected them to be nice but no. They looked me up and down and said I was a complete waste of space. I walked on. My head lower than before. I walked past a teacher from my old school he said the same thing he told me I'd never be anything. My confidence demolished entirely, i flicked up my hood and trudged home.
When I eventually reached my serenity, completely crushed and emotionally destroyed, I walked straight to my room with a clear intent. I was going to end it. Going to end my pain, my suffering, my life. I opened my Facebook to leave my final goodbye and I saw i had 13 new messages. I clicked the icon and read them all. Tears were welling in my eyes as I read through them. I went to my bathroom and grabbed my razor and my dads bottle of painkillers and walked with great intent back to my room. The messages broke my heart more than the words said to my face. I opened the bottle of pills and emptied the bottle into my hand. Just as I was about to swallow them my phone rang. I answered as I thought my best friend deserved to know from me rather than someone else. "Hello"
"Hiya" I tried to keep my voice from cracking but she knew me too well
"Whats the matter? Why are you crying?"
"Nothing the matter. I'm fine really."
"No your not I can tell. What happened?"
I crumbled and told her everything. About the people when I was walking home, about the Facebook messages, about everything.
"Hun listen to me. Don't listen to them. I know this will sound like something your mum would say but its true they're only jealous they only say that to make you feel small. Look I love you, you're parents love you, all your friends love you, everyone loves you even if they don't act like it. If you died we would all be devastated. Not just devastated we would be destroyed. Without you nothing would be the same. Everything would be useless. We would all be lost without you. In all honesty I would have killed myself years ago if I hadn't met you. But you changed my life around completely. Not just mine I know for a fact that you have helped so many people even though you don't know it. There are so many people who's life's would have been so different if they hadn't met you. So even if nothing I just said makes you change your mind then please let this. I had no one until I met you and if you're not there I'll have no one again, I can't go back to that life. So please, Please, I'm literally begging you on my knees, Please don't kill yourself. If you do I don't know what I'll do."
I didn't respond for a while. I couldn't. i was choking on tears. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. "Thank you. Thank you Thank you Thank you. I don't know what I was thinking. I if I died I'd miss my true friends far too much. Thank you so so so much."
So all I can say to any bullies out there is you're nothing but afraid. You're cruel to make yourself feel bigger and stronger. You're lonely and I understand but I want you to know that you will never win. You will never get the best of people who have amazing friends like mine. I used to think you were stronger than me but I know now that your just weak and no matter how sad or fed up I get that I will always have amazing people to turn to who will cheer me up but you are stuck in a dead end life of loneliness and misery. So as a final word to anyone who has ever put me down or made me cry I forgive you and I just hope you realise how hard it is for me to say that and I hope you are big enough to accept my appology and start a clean page between us.
The hours past slowly as I sat alone. Locked away from life. Forced to be secluded. Forced to be alone. Anything would be better than this I decided. Anything! I picked up a book from the small round table in the centre of the room; 'the magicians apprentice' I'd read it a hundred times before. I dropped it back again. I walked to the single, small window, the only source of light in this dank room, and stared at the street below. People past below smiling, laughing, talking. I can't remember the last time I smiled or laughed. They were all completely oblivious to the pale girl watching them from above. I saw a family in the park across the road; the parents pushing the children on the swings and all of them laughing. "those kids don't know how lucky they are" I thought.
Footsteps were getting progressively louder as someone approached my door. I ran for my chair. just as i sat down and opened the book the door creaked open. standing in the thresh hold was was the huge figure of jamie, my uncle, the one who kept me locked away. he gained custody of me four years ago when my parents died in the fire. i've been in this room since. jamie smiled that evil smile of his and walked over to me. he stood behind my chair resting his arms on the back. "what are you reading Danica?" he asked, he already knew as it was the only book i owned but i answered anyway. "the magicians apprentice uncle." i said it quietly as he got angry if i was loud. " again?" he asked
"ah well. good job i got you a new book then hey?"
"oh, thank you uncle. what book is it?" he produced a smallish book from his pocketand held it out to me. i took it gently and looked at the cover ' a mid-summers night dream' i'd read it in school but that was before my parents died and my uncle didnt need to know. i placed it gently on the table and stood to face him. his arms were spread for me to hug him. i reluctantly moved in to his embrace.
my stomach heaved at my hugging this monster. he let me go after about a minute of unbearable closeness to this beast. he walked over to my bed and sat down on the edge. as he did so i asked him a question i had never dared ask him in the past "Uncle" i said my voice shaking "why can't i go outside like other people?" his face darkened like thunder and i saw his fists clenching. "what?" he whispered "did you just question me?!" he stared at me as if he were ready to strike. i grew stronger from this look "yes uncle. yes i did question you. i want to know why you keep me prisoner. i want to know why uncle. why?!"
Separate names with a comma.