~WWJD Movie Review~ Before I begin this review, let me make something perfectly clear. I do not have a problem with religious people. I don't have a problem with religious films. Hell, I don't even have a problem with matters of faith. If faith plays a part in the story but isn't the main focus of the story, that's great. However, religious films don't seem to understand this. They put the faith and the message at the center of the film rather than the characters and their individual stories. This is what I have a problem with. This is what What Would Jesus Do is. I've thought about several ways to approach this review. I thought about doing a full three-part review, but I finally decided on just a general review for a number of reasons. Reason #1: The characters. There aren't any! All of these characters are nothing but cardboard cutouts to serve what little plot there is in this film. We've got the crooked newspaper editor, the musician, the pastor, the drifter, the evil mayor, and finally, we have the bitchy real estate agent. As you may have already guessed, none of these characters are interesting or well-developed. Like I said, they're only there to serve what little plot there is. Typically in a movie like this, you will have two or three character arcs going on at once. This film doesn't do that. We don't have three character story arcs going on, not even four, but seven character arcs being told at the exact same time, and even some characters whose stories would be interesting aren't even elaborated on. For example, at the beginning of the film, the pastor's family is tragically killed in a car accident. Instead of elaborating on this and giving us a chance to identify with the character and get to know him better, the film simply transitions to three years later. Like I said, most of the characters are only in the film to move the plot forward. One jarring example of this is the character of the drifter. This character has no name, so we'll just refer to him as John. Anyway, after being in town for supposedly a week or so, John walks in the church, pretty much calls most of the people there hypocrites before finally collapsing. His rousing speech causes the members of the congregation to reflect on their lives and want to better themselves. Not only are the characters shallow and uninteresting, but their personalities are constantly changing. When John goes to Diane the newspaper editor for a job, she rudely refuses to give him a job. Later, she goes to Henry the pastor and gives him a check for, and I'm not kidding about this, $25,000! Okay, if she had that much money, why the hell didn't she give at least a small amount of it to John? Another example involving this character is her printing risque pictures to bump up interest in the campaign. Later, she simply refuses. One other example is the mother of Virginia, the real estate agent, going off on a rant about the fact that Virginia brought home a homeless girl. The very next scene shows the same bitchy mother having a polite conversation with the girl, saying that the girl now has a family and even going as far as taking her out shopping. One other example is the musician's mother chewing him out over the fact that he refused to sign the contract that the record producers gave him. His reason for doing is that he didn't like the lyrics and felt like they were producing sin. His mother goes on to say that he's a fanatic and asks him what they are going to do when they're living on the streets. Yet later in the movie, we saw that she was in church with her son. You see, none of these characters are inconsistent! Not only that, but none of the characters are particularly likeable. When John first meets most of them, they all come off as extremely bitchy and rude. For example, when he first meets Virginia, she pretty much tells him to fuck off or she will call the cops. When he points out that he's not committing any crime, she orders him to leave. After he leaves, her secretary suggests that they at least give him something to eat, to which she replies with this, “Feeding a man like that is like feeding a dog. You throw them a bone and you'll never get rid of them. Throw that stuff in the trash.” The mother of Max, the musician, is also extremely unlikeable. The reason why I say this is because the film portrays her as a woman who isn't doing anything to help her and her son. Instead, she is completely relying on her son getting a music contract as payment. It seems as if she lives off welfare and food stamps and works as a toilet scrubber. I'm not kidding. During her rant against her son refusing to sign the contract, she says, “I have scrubbed every toilet in this town, Max!” Wow! Here's a piece of advice for you, bitch: get a real fucking job and actually provide for your kid! And for that matter, why the hell is this guy still living with his mom? This guy looks like he's in his thirties. He should be well out of college and on his own by now. Hell, the only likeable character in this whole film is the mayor, and he's portrayed as the villain. Now, get this. This guy is looking out for the best interest of the people. What he's wanting to do is tear down the church that our heroes go to and turn it into a hotel casino. He promises that a new bigger and better church will be built in a new location. Now here comes the kicker. The characters and even the film itself sees this as a bad thing. According to Virginia, what the mayor is doing is, word for word, “tearing down an institution of good and devoting it to one of evil.” How is that evil? I'm not a Bible scholar, but I don't recall anything in Scripture that says gambling is a sin. Hell, if you read the story of Jonah, the people on the ship gambled to determine who was responsible for the terrible storm that was happening. But I digress. According to the characters and the film itself, a hotel casino is a bad thing. No, building a hotel casino to attract tourism and create jobs for people . . . is a good thing! As the mayor said, it would create jobs, give people not only money, but also self-respect. Well, okay, the townspeople are likeable to, but only because they start chucking things at the pastor when he tells them that York is wrong and what they really need is salvation. That's right. Fuck having money, a job, or self-respect. Being saved and being a Christian is far more important! Reason #2: The dialogue. God, the dialogue! The dialogue in this film is horrendous! Most of the dialogue in this film, like any other Christian film, is very poorly written. The writers of this film seem to believe that we the viewers are morons and need to be reminded of the type of film we're watching. To remedy this, the characters will oftentimes just randomly spout out Bible verses for no other reason than to remind us that this is a religious film. In the first scene between Henry and John, the latter is just about to leave when he just randomly quotes a Bible verse. He does this again when he first meets Alex York, the mayor, aka the villain of our film. However, I will applaud the writers for one thing. During this scene, we have this exchange. John says that the people of the town don't need food, but the Word of God. He then goes on to quote yet another Bible verse. Now this is the part I like. York then asks John, “How will serving God make sure that your bills are paid or that you're financially secure?” This is a very good question and the answer is, it won't, simply because God doesn't apply his timing to ours, but to his, so if you're in financial trouble and waiting for God to help you out, you'd be better off getting financial aid than waiting on God because there's no telling how long it'll take him to help you out. One scene that had me laughing was one scene with Diane. Some guy who I guess is her partner comes in and gives her some more raunchy pictures to print in next week's paper. She refuses and when he asks her why, she asks him, “If Jesus was the editor, would he print this?” Literally, the guy starts laughing and treating it like a joke, and I was honestly right there with him laughing my ass off. Aside from firing off Bible verses left and right, the dialogue does nothing but give us exposition. Almost all of the dialogue in this film is exposition. For example, we have a scene early on in the film where we see the pastor simply sitting at a desk. The only purpose this scene serves is to let us know that this guy is a shitty pastor and that the church is being torn down to make room for a hotel casino and the pastor only has ten days to pack his stuff and, to quote Eric Cartman, “Get the fudge out!” After John collapses, we then learn that he is in his final stages of cancer and will most likely die. Other times the dialogue just comes off as really awkward and leaves you thinking, “Was that really in the original script?” We have one scene between Diane and York. He comes in and starts talking about how perfect apples are. I swear to God, I did not make that up! She finally gets fed up with his bullshit and asks him what he's doing there. Another scene that has this problem is one scene featuring Virginia and some random guy. After an exchange between the two, the guy then starts to randomly talk about his kid, pretty much calling his own kid stupid. The reason why Virginia is speaking to this guy to begin with is because she wants the run-down houses. The guy makes a good point in this scene. He makes the point that she and the others are not Jesus and she says, “We're not saying we are.” Yes, you are. By saying, “What would Jesus do?” you are saying that you are trying to be like Jesus. Sometimes the dialogue just doesn't make any damn sense. There are a good amount of examples here. For example, after York's confrontation with John, he has a chat with a man who was supposedly jailed for robbery. He bribes him into...