that time has come again; that cold emptiness floods this lonesome lagoon and my thoughts scatter like the shimmers of the moon. I try to grasp them but they run through my fingers and back into that deep empty stillness. i see darkness betweenst these glimmers of hope; and it seems I'm crumbling from within, doubt, fear, anger, through these cracks they find a way and they can see and then they know but I must not show. inside these four cournered walls lays the truth; pain and sufferring, worries and sorrow, I cannot escape their clutches. And in the silence of the night, when nothing errs but the kitchen mice. I hear a voice in the stillness; which speaks to me of greatness; imploring me to follow his ways, but within his whispering voice i hear his deception; a mere reflection; an illusion, a ghostly shadow that fills me with confusion. And from the darkness it twists and curls, It's meanacing grin looking me in the face; wide eyed crimson pearls, and in them I see my hopes and dreams, but I know its wicked ways, where deep inside it lays, within me, waiting, seeking for that moment of weakness, that moment of utter bleakness. But I shall not let him escape again, and so these chains I tie myself to; a prisoner I must remain, from the darkness I must abstain, and keep him out of view; those desires that lay dormant; so I lament, and repent for my sins, and in sorrow I live these remaining days, and attempt to refrain from those wicked ways, within these shackled chains. But it seems those empty claims where I pertain to be made of gold; touched by the hand of Midas himself; is but wasteful procrastination. For when I look deep inside myself I suspect these speculations; are but mere vanity these nightly contemplation's; hidden insanity. But I see beneath his vivid gaze, those wicked ways, in this lonesome grotto; in the reflection of the shallows; between the wavering of the shadows; those illusions these comforting delusions in which he speaks to me, telling me to follow, happiness he can provide, he is the demon that lives inside.
each breath i take, slowly, in and out, i live and breathe, each breath, each day, brings me closer to death, and takes its toll on this heavy soul. That gentle rhythm sets the pace, each incremental second i embrace, each different from the last, moving to the present from the past, and here I am, contemplating my fate, why it is I live and breathe, Perhaps there is no reason I could perceive, and that i can never know, but i cannot accept, that we are mere travelers, moving from one second to the next, do I live to die, or is life more complex? I often wonder why. it is that you and I, live and breathe, yes I am me, for this moment in history, the future remains a mystery, yet time ticks away, and someday soon i will pass, for this life most certainly does not last, soon I shall become one with the past, yet under this tattared mask, lies a broken soul, ready to end it all, But I will live to embrace another second, despite how much the past may beckon, its haunting calls, enthralled in apathy, agony, still i wait patiently, for the end, and i see it now, forever drawing me closer, its captivating tune, the great composer, and I dance to the beat, tick, tock, tick- time will never stop, yet I cannot say the same for you and me, yes soon we will both cease to be, and whither away, this flesh and blood will one day decay, and never live to see another day, so embrace this second, this one moment in history, that little lost piece of you and me, soon we'll be nothing but memories, and by the ticking of the clock, we measure these moments, noving through them, slice by slice, tick by tick, as the end draws closer, but when you look death in the face, be ready for its cold embrace, and know, that you had once a place in this world, and had lived, breathed, and loved.
This forgotten soul, alone he fends off the bitter cold. in years he's young but life he's old; left to slowly fade away, to gather dust and decay. Between these narrow shelves he waits, a somber look paints his face. huddled under filthy blankets; Longing for a loving embrace, yet alone he sits in this putrid place. Left to whither away, day after day, he sits idly by his lonesome corner, passers-by, they turn to mourners. And night after night, they play futile games, of cat and mouse; like wild beasts they corral and tame, the man who has lost his name. Looking on with eyes full of pity, but we are the one who are truely guilty. To be left in squallor, and live futile lives, while other thrive, he struggles to survive. And with these measly coins, I give to you, please do not spend, on drugs or booze. Yet we are ones who have misconstrued, and cannot possibly comprehend nor transcend, our particularities and singularities. And indeed it is a certainty, that these misconceptions and preconceptions manifest, in even the best of us, but just like the rest of us, given such circumstances, granted, that is, if you'd had no chances; perhaps you would shake this empty can, a broken man, devoid of dignity, and tragically, a victim of circumstance principally. And these people- they don't require our sympathies; all they want is a loving hand, but a little help to stand, yet many would rather we plan to keep them out of way, hidden between darkened alleyways, needles line these empty passageways, now where his lifeless body lays. But it was life that broke him, and chose to take him, and it was we who failed to see, but now atleast he can be free, after enduring so many years of agony, succumbing to apathy, his collapsed viens the remenants, of years he abused this substance, but these are the forgotten, the lowly and downtrodden, a wandering sailor lost at sea, to never be known and lost in history.
reimagining past concepts - sirens of peace Breathing in it takes my breathe away, the cold air blows gently over me, its gentle humming lends its softening hand to the sound beyond my window pane. The night brings many ominous tidings, painted a devilish black with shadowy figures and illicit dealings, hidden between narrow shelves, stacked away to gather dust and decay, to slowly fade away. yet it persists, those nightly howls through the city streets; They tear their way through the empty halls, past the creeking stairs from those dwellings afar. Blue and red lights, the sight of helicopter lights fill the city night sky, sirens of peace, from which they cast down their eye, to strip us our of ailments. But they can see into our souls, our hearts and minds. opressed and shackled, living lonesome lives between ivy vines, hidden behind brick walls, neighbours pass by like the coming of a breeze, the falling of the autumn leaves on concrete slabs that take their place by brightly coloured ornaments, their golden factitious hue's never fade, but are taken away in great mines that are hidden from view, secrets shoved down a dirty well, were none can see, but it cannot remain hidden from me.
Long before there were eyes to bare witness, an ivory needle emerged from the darkness, from which time began to weave its delicate thread. Stich by stitch it wove onto a shimmering black silk, beautiful pearls, beads, quills, and sequins like the great Ottomon's of old. Hidden between the very stars, flickering in the distant past, I see beyond my tears, these primitive desires and superfluous fears. The evolution of the human race. a majestic creation of time and space, Humbled by a thought, enlightened by belief, some look for heaven in the skies, but all they find are glimmerring memories, beautiful embroideries, a tapestry of the unseen, always be cautious of what you believe.
That shadow creeps in, its cunning ways, slipping through my fingers My sanity, seems to fade away, replaced by shallow fantasies, twisted and deranged thoughts that leave you with nothing, But a bitter taste, what an utter waste, I need to take control, Captain this lost vessel, but with dark thoughts I wrestle, Try to fill this hole with something new, Sail to uncharted lands, but i cannot see through These ominous clouds, they hinder my view, Filled with fright left short of sight, So confused, I wish i could choose, to whome ive given my heart, but to ponder and muse is the curse of the smart, and so I lay here waiting, contemplating, My time will come soon.
A sweet melody fills the air, Sirens of peace cries of happiness, the gentle whisperings of that eye in the sky, Protecting us they say, for our best interests they claim, but this monotonous murmur suffucocates my thoughts, these blue and red lights leave me short of sight, while hooded silhouettes roam the streets, many souls consumed by greed. This large bustling wormhole, devours the lands only continues to expand, Never resting, never ceasing its indulgent ways. Concrete coffins litter the skyline, imprisoned behind four legged cages and glaring screens, a life spent in servitude, solitude, only fleeting faces, empty conversations, so distant and apathetic, Until the cold embrace of immortality reunites us all. Peace will come at last merrymaking why do we even try, failed are our attempts at merrymaking, for we are all inevitably the same, full of sadness, longing for a something that cannot ever be, so blind are we to reality, deep inside we all feel the same, so much misery and so much pain, such is the way of men, to hide in smiles all that ails them. These Dark Streets A lowly figure walks these dark streets alone, so that no one can see his tears, for he knows that is what we all are in this world, alone and full of pain... Yet as he gazez into the fading past of the night sky, a notion comes to him as the faint light of morning approches, perhaps a touch of defeat is what makes a great man... to ascend from the lowly depths of melancholy, just as the sun rises from its nightly fall from the heavens, happiness is found in humbleness, and just as the seasons change like the turning of a wheel, revel in the majesties of the seasons of your soul, and take heed of the falling leaves in autumn, so that you may sit by the fire and embrace the cold decay of sorrow.
PRISON I once heard that some live lives so free. I have yet to have such a luxury, There are those who seek to captivate me, in a prison of guilt, a prison they built, from petty words that hurt so deep, but they do not see the tears i weep, For that is not the way of a man, and i dont think i can, shed a tear of sadness... So i keep it inside from the sight of others, until i lay down beneath the covers, This lowly room is my prison of doom, They seek to have me eternally jailed, I've tried to escape but have only just failed, and so i must escape and find my way, i hope to leave this place someday, Yes i will escape and remember such pain, with eyes full of wisdom and a smile once again. ROLLING STONE The night comes again, I await its arrival with a heavy heart, for the darkness brings pain, a swarm of thoughts that plaugue the smart, what could've been, what should've been, if only i'd seen. Like a rolling stone that gathers no moss, to stay stuck in the past, is a fools mistake who fogot to toss, their demons aside at long last, and so I say that now i see, and so I say that now im free, as I try to keep those thoughts at bay, but those regrets i tried to cast away, return as night turns into day. Awake all night with me and my thoughts, the birds sing their morning songs of misery, a daily lullaby that leaves me distraught, another day lost oh how i wish i was free, so i toss and turn and lie in wait, and tell myself perhaps it was fate, but when i finally to fall into peace, im haunted in my dreams yet still, oh how i wish it would finally cease, but it seems ive yet to have my fill, of this madness, of this sadness. SO BE KIND Born into this world with only his instincts to guide him, many love just as many despise him, alone on this world and without another, alone on this world like so many others, yet we are not alone in that we are all one, united as once all part of some faraway sun, we seem to forget that we are still fragile and young, yet in time we shall return to the great stars above, so be kind to your body which you must take great care of, so be kind to others and embrace them with many hugs, so be kind to this world and give it all your love TREASURE a twist of fate unseen, living in a dream, what a curse it is to dream and wonder, to incite and ponder, beyond what mere reality can provide, but he keeps those dreams inside, locked away in a chest of treasures, no map to be found, no key to open its riches, hidden away on a secluded paradise, beyond the lofty palm trees and pearly white sands, a desolate cave, its omnious mouth keeps many away, but burried deep inside lays a grotto, for those brave enough to follow, inquisitive enough to question, here the treasure lays, and for many days it hath sat in this hallowed sanctury, waiting patiently, unequivocally, it lie's there in wait...please come to me.
another day: morning light creeps through and the day begins anew, more hours to needlessly waste away in a life of nothing. Live days of quiet mourning, hidden under the thin viel of forgotten conversations and fleeting laughs, buried under smiles lays the truth, pain and sufferring. Worries and sorrow, plans that wither away into nothingness. And so the new day begins, what shall become of it is not yet known, another day that wears away, one day closer to that inevitable end, Many dream, To leave it all, and begin elsewhere, only to live someone else's despair So I move through time, the past laid out behind me, bitter memories fill these waters, clinging to fragments of my soul, till one day there is nothing left, but me in a hole, left to rot away. Yes I will die one day, or so I hope and pray. never be the same: she has a sorrow deep inside, from when she planned to take a train with a boy she met many moons ago. He was the first to buy her ticket. arrived early so she would not miss it. But sadly now she can never depart, for he took her ticket and tore it apart. So she waits idly by the yellow line, her heart lost forever in time. I have a sorrow deep inside, from when I planned to grow a tree for a girl I met many moons ago. I took my time and watered the ground, nothing but sadness was what i found. From another time before I could see, she could not help what happened to me. So now I wait idly by the grassy mound, where my heart remains forever bound. Haunted still by those fading memories, despite how much we may beg and plead, for promises made turn into broken dreams, we both once foolishly tried to lay a seed, and now both lost in this station it seems. She flirts and fucks to numb the pain, I smoke and drink to forget her name, but she knows things will never be the same, I knew that things would never be the same. Lost at Sea I once was someone who could not see, I once was a sailor lost at sea, lost at sea and never found, Instead i was captured, tortured and bound, and taken somewhere beneath the ground. Here the sun shines but there is still darkness, a place where silence slowly turns to madness. A foul stench of misery festers in the air, chained to the wall with shackles of despair, to be eternally trapped in this cage of lament, they'd not let me leave even though I repent. Yet i still plan on freedom very soon, for i have been here many moons, and in the night i im filled with fearr, I hold my breath and wait to hear, dreadfull sounds muffled between the walls, hushed voices amongst which i hear her call. Forever haunted by ghostly remnants of the past... for what has been heard cannot be unheard, and what has been done cannot be undone. So now my dreams are filled with hate, for i have been dealt a bitter fate, and now i wish she'd never known, perhaps i should have never shown... But the truth will always set you free, still freedom has yet to come to me, so now I must escape and find my way, i know i'll leave this place someday, in a short while i'll be free of this pain, i will escape and find happiness again. Tree of Sorrow Empty and alone, Hearts fill with sorrow as the young become grown, from the past we borrow regrets that are sown, into fertile grounds, the tree of despair ascends from the mound, its unripe smiles age into bitter frowns. Take a taste of the fruit from the tree of despair, and know of the truth for nothing can compare. Taste the fruit so that you may see clearly, and do good unto others with happiness and sincerely. As I have eaten many times, so too will you have to taste someday the bitter fruit will come your way but when you finish your humbling treat, careful of its stones that fall by your feet, for they will surely take root and begin to grow, great trees of sorrow of your very own. Dreamer a burning inside, the flame of inquisition, the pain of pride, a perplexing position, a confounding proposition, perhaps i was to keen, it was nothing but a dream, but i am a dreamer, still i wish i'd never seen her, but when all is said and done, Prosperous is the one, who dreams of the grandest dreams, for it is he who see's, with open eyes and heart, for only they have the key, and only they can fit the part, to see beyond, to escape the pond, and be free in serenity, it cannot always be, as one has dreamed it so, its time for me to go, but i cannot awaken, from this eternal nightmare, and i fear i'll never dream again. TIME so many moments lost to time, things of the present seemingly fade away into the deep delphian past, filled with both moments of greatness and times of sadness. Joy and woe are but one in the same, inventions of the imagination, the burden of consciousness, and so we dance away in a blurry haze captivated by its incessant tune. Bottle up your regrets and cast them into the deep blue unknown, to be lost amongst a sea of disparity and wasted lives that were lived in vain. such a pain, to know of truth beyond what is claimed, some will never see, that we spend our lives lost at sea, to never be known and forgotten in history. NOTHINGNESS many struggle to survive, while we struggle to keep our minds preoccupied. Boredom has created a society of glutenous pigs, that feed from troughs filled with self pity and ignorance. Many claim to know of sufferring, but they know nothing of true pain. Bombs of peace that fall by their dozens take innocent lives, the ignorant and cowardly are the ones that survive, the evil and powerfull are those who thrive, many tools they have contrived, to keep us locked away in our own thoughts, but we must see beyond these shackles, and see the truth with absolute clairity. Like savage beasts, they release us to the streets, where we can never find peace, so heartless; trapped in this ever lasting darkness. Like a dream, it seems, many of us try to escape fate. but now i have nothing left, everything i lost I kept, so I accept nothingness. WHAT AM I? what am i? I am something, a bundle of mass that thinks and feels, chemicals and neurons that whizz around is a blurry haze, molecules crafted by time and chance to produce me, a living entity, yes i think and feel, and perhaps i am something real, but i am no differrent to things that simply are. The concious manisfistation of the universe, I am embody all that is known, I am aware of all that has been, and I know of things yet to come. Yes I have my own place in time like others, this arrangment is unique to me, for this one moment in history, within this great ocean of space and time. So i embrace all that I am, knowing once i was part of a sun, we were all once united as one, thoughts and memories as tangible as this pen I hold, once i was told, that we live to die, but i live to live, the differrence is some live on through what they give. I do not die: (my version of Mary Elizabeth Frye famous poem) the slow embrace of time encompasses all that i know, i am me but not what i was just a moment ago, i am an arrangement particles shoving to and fro, and i will cease to be I someday, but what it is that makes me will never pass away, For every good deed committed will carry on in some way, so remember to act with happiness in your heart, its up to us all to play our small part, use love as your map and wisdom your compass, and things will change with the filling of the hourglass, and so embrace these particles for they are you, and in a very short time they'll become something new, so when i should meet my inevitable demise, Please do not stand at my grave and cry, for i am not there, I do not die.