Hey guys hows it going? I'm trying to remember to come on everyday and at least check and see if any of my old friends are getting on. As I can see most of them, at least the really good one, aren't getting on anymore. Today I'm kinda in a random thought writing so I'm probably going to ramble.
So I was kinda thinking about my situation with Amanda today, I know none of you will get this because Amanda is a rather new development, a part of me wants her to move out of state so I can get over it easier. A bigger part of me doesn't want her to leave because I still want it to work. I just don't know if I should just try sooner to get her back so just in case she decides to move I'll at least have had a chance to make it better.
I know I still love her and I'm pretty sure a part of me always will, but I just don't think she really ever did love me. She acted like she did and she said she did, but she told me that she never did and as much as I want to say that she was lying, I don't like I can. All this aside I still feel like I owe it to myself to try and make it better and be happy with her again. I'm always making other people happy, not really ever myself. Like college, I'm going to UNO and it's because my parents want me too. What I want to be I don't need schooling. I can do it now and I can do it well. I'm always trying so hard to make my parents proud even when I'm not happy doing it. I think that this time I need to follow what is going to make me happy and at least try to make it right. What do you guys think?
So it's been forever since I've been on here... I'm going to be completely honest I came back because I'm horribly depressed and I needed something to occupy my time. Hopefully this does the trick.
With your smell on my pillows
With your clothes on the floor
You got a smile on you lips
You know I adore
The what you know exactly
What I'm gunna do
Before I even think it!
Before I even think it (sustain note)
The sounds we made
When we know we're on top of the world
The way we take
Everything for granted
The way I love you (sustain)
(And I know you love me too)
The smell is in my sheets
But your clothes are all gone
I got a tear in my eye
Because of this song
It makes me think of
The good times that we shared
'Cause I still remember
'Cause I still remember (sustain)
The sound we made
Whne we were on top of the world
The way we took
Everything for granted
The way I still love you (sustain)
(And I hope you love me too)
Repeat Chorus 2
Hey guys sorry to have been gone for so long. I missed you all and I will assume that at least one person missed me here.
Anyways lets give some updates. Schools out for the summer, for me at least. Which means some good and some bad things are going on. We'll go into the good first.
Obviously NO MORE SCHOOL! That one probably could have been unsaid but nonetheless. Tanner can't mess with me anymore, which is good because I would have sent him to the hospital if he called me, hmm how can I say this, a worse word for a gay man again. I'm making some money. I'm pretty sure I have a girl friend now too, her name is Greer.
Now the not so good:
I have to work for that money I mentioned. I don't see my friends as much anymore. I don't have a laptop anymore so I don't get online as much as before.
I missed you guys and I hope I can start talking to you all again. Until next time, live long and prosper.
I can't even tell you how much my day sucked teh nuts. First off, Reileigh apparently is SUPER sick, she's been sick for a week now. Which sucks because I'm worried.
Secondly, Shailana is now going out with John. Which in and of itself isn't too bad. But, it still sucks because I think I still like her. Also one of the reasons she said she didn't want to go out with me is because she didn't want to date until she was out of Highschool. So obviously that wasn't true.
Anyways enough about my problems.
Currently Listening To:
That Girl's A Straight Up Hustler - All Time Low
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