Summary Of Book (By Author) On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops — infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: —Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. —Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. —Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? —Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial" —Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud — delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for. Review: Now I will say one thing first before anything so no one is at all confused later in this review. I did not read the book, I listened to the audio book. So, firstly let me talk of George Carlin's behalf. George was one of the most popular and one of the most devious comedians to have ever lived. He was a man who was very funny, whose death may not have been untimely, but not predicted, and not welcomed at the time of the event. This was his last book before that unwelcomed time. Now George's words were not welcomed by many people. This included over protected parents, and overly proper or pompous people. It was understandable to dislike him but to go after his demise was another, many did not like him. And unlike myself he had no religious views, which makes some of his quotes awkward for myself. But as he said he was not an atheist he was just a guy who was waiting to find out what was waiting for him. George was a very enlightened man, but he never acted as such, he was humble, he never called himself the smartest man alive, but he enjoyed to tear idiots a new one. George was a very talented comedian, writer, and man in general. He was never pompous or as annoying as many celebrities today. He laid low, allowing himself to bask in his enjoyable life, while finding things to nitpick. So, now is the moment in the review where I will reveal what I enjoyed about the book and what I did not. As for the things I enjoyed I the book, there were many. Carlin was a very intelligent man. His words could be very insightful and even if you did not agree with his opinion, his point on the matter would always have you ponder. He was extremely convincing and thought provoking. His words always held a type of truth to them, and would more than not make you continue to listen to his words. Almost as if you had the impulse to either agree with this man or strongly dispute him. Maybe that was a sort of attraction he had. Jokes: George, as stated previously, was a very funny man. A high multitude of George Carlin's jokes were highly insulting and funny for a variation of reasons. One was seeing his point of view. One thing that made many high class people dislike him was that George was very different. His point of view on many things were strange in some minds, and funny to others. Also, George's habit of going against what society said was right or what the norm was considered, was astounding. He just didn't care, what so ever. To him, the only opinion that had any effect was his own, and the opinions that disputed his were always targets he was ready to face head on. This also added to his charm. Another thing that added to his hilarity was his mixture of jokes. Some were plain dirty. His mixture of dirty jokes could involve any part of the body or any of its functions and put them in wacky situations. He would say stuff that would be frowned upon by many, which was one reason they were funny. Another was just his timing, or how though out the joke could be. George also had another type of jokes mixed in with those ones. I will call these the vulgar/morbid/frowned upon by society jokes. He would have jokes where he would openly insult religion, races, humanity as a whole, and many other things. The way he used some of this material was funny in itself, but as always his non-caring attitude never fell short to add that feeling to his words. Some of these types of jokes would highly offend other and make others laugh their bones outside of their bodies. It is all about preference. Finally the type of joke that George used that I will mention last is what I call, thinking jokes. They were a series of jokes that would leave you thinking, pondering over what you believed, or maybe sometimes would just stick in your mind. They had a power to them, where at times, they didn't feel like jokes. One reason the audio book was so much more enjoyable than the book was George Carlin's voice. George's voice never failed to add emotion to his words. The way he cursed just added the feel to his words. The way he expressed his points were so, him, so different. He was just a different type of person. George was so unpredictable at times, he was enjoyable to listen to, and figure out what he would say next. As for the things I did not enjoy about the book were few but that shared by many who have read the book, or listened to the audio book. This first thing was a complaint by only people who had read the book. They claimed it to be more enjoyable to listen to George's voice, rather than reading his words of page, which is totally understandable. Now do not misunderstand me, he is a very good writer, but when writing for humor, if not heard by, can sometimes be unappealing. Another gripe I had with this book was that some of Carlin's jokes were hit and miss for me, also some of his jokes were distasteful even for myself. He would say something really funny one second then it would change parts in the book and he would go on with a joke which's payoff was unsatisfying for all of the build up it was receiving. George's sense of humor was very appealing to myself, but at times he went to far for me. Insulting certain things, or saying certain things in general fell too distasteful for me. Yet, I did agree with many of his points, others I did not. It was 50/50 for I. Another problem which probably befell the audio listeners instead of others was that his constant book changing scenes would happen often. And for the listeners of the book, they were aware of this by a piano playing very shortly. Now that was the problem, the concern was that many of the parts would be short, and after a while, it could be confusing what topic he was on. My final gripe is that Carlin seemed to revisit certain topics in the book. And as it would be funny the first two times, the one he had talked about a third time had not been as entertaining as the first two, and you sometimes become uninterested. Now, for my final thought of the book. When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops is a book by George Carlin, for George Carlin fans. You will enjoy it most if you enjoy his work. It is not for the light hearted, the easily offended, or the overly protective. It is a hilarious book that for people who enjoy crude humor, is totally worth the money. Sure sometimes his humor could become a bit much, but for all the payoff you get from all of his very good comedy, it is worth it. This book just isn't for some people, but if it is for you, you will enjoy it, love it even. So, if it sounds appealing to you, get it. I would recommend this book to my close friends who have the same humor as I. Oh yeah I will end this on one of those thinking jokes. This is also one of the best book endings I have ever seen.... George was a 'good' man and he will be missed. 7/10
Don't yell at me guys. I am going on a walk tomorrow so I can get some better pictures for you guys. Promise. But for this week you'll have to bare with me. https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1072487_268838703259069_344463645_o.jpg
Summary Of Book (By Author) In her small Welsh town, there is no one quite like Morgana. She has never spoken, and her silence as well as the magic she can't quite control make her a mystery. Concerned for her safety, her mother quickly arranges a marriage with Cai Bevan, the widower from the far hills who knows nothing of the rumours that swirl around her. After their wedding, Morgana is heartbroken at leaving, but she soon falls in love with Cai’s farm and the rugged mountains that surround it, while slowly Cai himself begins to win her heart. It’s not long, however, before her strangeness begins to be remarked upon in her new village. A dark force is at work there—a person who will stop at nothing to turn the townspeople against Morgana, even at the expense of those closest to her. Forced to defend her home, her love, and herself from all comers, Morgana must learn to harness her power, or she will lose everything. Review: Well let me start by explaining one thing, I do not read many chapter books. Now do not get this confused with me not reading, I have read before so I know the difference between something that is good and something that is the opposite. And I know good writing as I have been schooled by many of my comrades on this forum. This is one of the first books I have read in a while that really had me caught up into it so, let's begin the review. So, I discovered this book at a Barnes and Nobles after seeing a movie. I was waiting for the rest of my party to depart from their movie, once it was concluded, so I decided to go to the book store across the street. Now once in the store, I wandered looking for something good to read in the mean time. This was the instant I discovered a book on display, one left, and its name alone made my arms open the hard cover book. Inside the case awaited a story that I would enjoy highly, and would get in the near future because of my longing for the book. As I opened up to the first page, I began to read and was surprised at how well the author was at describing such simple events. Making them seem so magnificent, so thought provoking. Such tremendously small events such as a girl observing a spider. Not knowing I was reading a novel written by a New York Bestseller Writer named Paula Brackston. The first page alone got me interested in the story, now I was a little suspicious as what was gonna happen. Such a normal beginning to a story led me anxious to know. Leaving the book at the store, after only finishing the first page made me long for it. I searched for it for a while until I finally purchased it off of Amazon. Waiting a week for it to arrive at my door left me even more enthralled to the read the print upon the pages of this three-hundred forty page book. After reading it, I will get into what I enjoyed about the book. First of all, love stories always have me by the tail. I enjoy watching scenarios unfold, trying to see if this girl will fall in love with his traveler she was forced to marry. I will admit I enjoyed the love story, whether or not the two main characters ended up liking each other or not. The story was very compelling to me, the two main characters having to deal with the hardships of their own lives and also having to deal with each other. Now this could have been done very poorly, as many forms of media have shown. Yet, I believe Paula Brackston did a very good job of showing how she wanted the story to turn out, and also I enjoyed how she always kept you guessing, whether some were easier, or some harder. Second, what I thought was a risky move, but a very interesting tool in the novel was the POV swapping. The story itself has a Third-Person overtone, yet often the story would change between First Person Point of Views between the two main characters Morgana and Cai. I thought this allowed for many descriptive moments, allowing the picture to be seen through three sets of eyes. Morgana's, Cai's, and your own. Third, I enjoyed the tone of the story. Some people complained that they didn't believe it had enough action in it for it to have the Witch name plastered on the front. But thinking that all books reminiscent with the word witch are synonyms with the word action is ignorant. Finally, last thing I will say before spoilers is that Paula Brackston really understands how to put you into a character. How to make you feel their pain, how to show their emotions to you. How to make an event occur inside your head, and make you feel every emotion of it. She was very skilled at this. Spoiler I really enjoyed watching how close Morgana and Cai got to each other. Through all of their hardships, whether it was Catrin related, or just the troubles Morgana faced or the ones she caused herself. Or even the ones caused by the villain, they pushed through it. It allowed them to become closer to each other, and it was beautiful and enjoyable to watch it. To see Cai become Morgana's protector and vice versa. To see the love they shared with each other, and to watch Morgana become stronger in her magical arts. Watch her become more self-aware, more confident, into a woman, but also a protector. And to see Cai accept his new wife, to become closer and put his life on the line for her, when faced against his old friends. It was quite an astounding and heart felt experience. Another thing, about the villain Isolda. I honestly didn't expect her to be a witch, it was actually obvious if you ask me. I didn't notice the first read-through though, until they revealed it. I guess she was an obvious candidate. Though even with me not expecting her, she did her job, of making me hate her. All of her evil deeds, even the ones done to Cai before Morgana appeared as Mrs. Jenkins. I also enjoyed watching the morbid turn the book took in the fight against Morgana and she. As for my final thoughts, I believe the Winter Witch to be a very good book,. Even with the gripes that the main characters over react, especially with Morgana's condition, I just don't agree. The book is beautiful, an awesome love story that was compelling, a format that allowed the reader to be pulled into the story intensely. Descriptions so thought provoking, and beautiful. Scenes so genuinely sad and shocking. And a good display of magic, allowed this book to speak to me, for me to really enjoy it. It is a very good book, one of the only books where I was so delighted and entertained that I forgot how many pages I was reading. It wasn't overbearing or underwhelming. Just right, I would recommend this to any of my associates. 10/10
Well, I will give you guys some of my personal life. Just a tad. I am not the most wealthy guy around, as a matter of fact my closest friends' families are all more financially stable than mine. So, I was in debt to my previous school, and without paying them I could not get something that allowed me to get any other schools. Now some family members of mine were putting money together to try and find a way out of this. But thanks to two important relatives of mine, the money will soon be of no problem and I can get accepted into a school or two. Today's words will have the theme of...Support Surround yourself with people who provide you with support and love and remember to give back as much as you can in return. -Karen Kain
Guess who's back? Sorry for not posting in a while. I have got to find so more places to take pictures, and my area is very bland. But, I will try to crank more stuff out. Also Inspirational Words Of Few will return. https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1072639_268838609925745_483368768_o.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/901123_241521139324159_2054290065_o.jpg Sorry for taking so long, pictures and stuff. What does that mean? I don't know
Hey guys there is another blog by Captain Kate, if you go to her website you'll find really good pictures and thoughts....REALLY GOOD PICTURES! You should visit. http://taliasworld.wordpress.com
So yesterday a classmate of mine grabbed a Sharpie and intended to write all over the school with it. So, I constantly tell her to give it to me, and get her in trouble and I am looked at as the bad guy. I even get called names for it and every time they tried to insult me I said: I am the embodiment of JUSTICE Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. -Martin Luther King Jr
https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/965089_251789691630637_1017207625_o.jpg Bunny! He was in my front yard!
This goes out to my buddy Summerrain http://blogs.babble.com/kid-scoop/files/2012/04/shutterstock_85697293.jpg Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. -Kahlil Gibran When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. -Kahlil Gibran They were always with you. And they always will be. They are watching over you now, watching how much you are becoming, and hoping one day, that when you remember them, all you can do is smile.
The experiences like the ones we've had with games like Super Mario All Stars will be the kind we take with us all our lives. While some of our parents and peers may dismiss such thoughts and feelings as petty and childlike, you still have to listen to your true inter-voice that guides you. You only know what you feel, and I for one feel these video games have defined me. They've revealed to me, that you don't have to think inside the box if you don't want to. In the realms of your hopes and dreams, the impossible can be achieved. While the mundanity of life drones on, you can find adventure inside a virtual world. And really, whose to say what's real and what's not. All these games now are just distant memories of freeze frames and time and space. But, we have the choice to relive with the flip of a switch. It's simple human nature to try to make sense of things by whipping up a trivial list in which the order of our favorites fall. But, really, how can you rate such things? For, these games are significant to us for different reasons. A game who maybe be un-enjoyable to one person may hold a plethora of meaning to another. It may be easy to loose sight of why we really love video games, but just remember at the end of the day, when you're powering down that Playstation 3 console, that it wasn't always about how many gigabytes of RAM you had. It was about the adventure..... -Jon Jafari
https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/920128_244112249065048_1341070942_o.jpg Wolf and Dragon Dance Party!