A little help please

Published by Blue Screen of Death in the blog Blue Screen of Death's blog. Views: 67

I posted an unfinished story on here last month (maybe October, I don't remember) and have since added onto it. Since simply editing the changes into the original post wouldn't attract any attention, I thought I would post the new material here. For those who would like the read the beginning of this, here is the link. I'm not asking for a full-out critique (I wouldn't mind though :)) just a few remarks, maybe you could point out some mistakes if there are any.



Some time later I turned my attention upwards, hoping to gain some bearing of where I was. I saw nothing but two large birds circling me in the bleak skies as I stood. "Sorry, I'm not dead yet." I whispered to them, turning my attention back to the path in front of me. For all that I could see, nothing but wasteland and death showed.

"How daunting," I added, no louder than before.

"Hey, wait up!" I shouted, running after my friend.

"No way, you'll just have to catch up!" He replied, increasing his speed.

It was always like that, Leon would run and shout and never get tired, but I would tire quickly and usually end up waiting for him to find me. But we didn't care, it was fun.

I continued to run after him for some time, but somehow he kept ahead of me at all times. I soon gave up, sitting down on a large rock I had passed not much earlier.

"Alright Leon, I give up!" I shouted, making sure he stopped and didn't get lost.

"About time too, I was about to double back and go home!" He replied, coming from around a corner in the trail.

"Again? Don't you remember what happened last time?" I asked him, rather annoyed.

He stood there for a moment, lost in thought. "Oh yeah!" He exclaimed, "You got lost and had to stay the night in the forest!"

"My point exactly," I bluntly told him.

"Well maybe if you kept up we wouldn't have this problem!" He teased, running off in the direction we came from.

I sighed heavily, standing from the rock and dusting myself off.

"Here we go again," I moaned, running after my hyper-active friend.

It had only been a few years since then, and Leon still looked like he would explode if he didn't run everywhere. Only now he did it with purpose; albeit obscure purposes.

"I wonder where he is now." I spoke to the wasteland. I had taken to saying most of my thoughts, considering the last sign of life I had seen was a cactus. A very withered cactus, which I had broke for water. Only now I wasn't so certain that was a good idea, as my stomah was voicing some very painful problems. I could only hope that it was simply stagnant, and not infested with some malicious bacteria.

"Don't worry, it's only nausea caused by lack of food."

A voice. A mysterious, yet friendly, voice.

I snapped into a fighting stance, wishing for my sword.

"Who's there?" I shouted, searching for the source between a vulture carcass and a rotting twig of a tree.

"No need to shout boy, I'm right behind yeh!" It scolded, tapping my shoulder.

I spun around to see none other than Kale.

"Kale? How did you get here?" I asked, easing my position.
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