A Look Back at My First Novel

By peachalulu · Jul 6, 2014 · ·
  1. A question on the forums had me dragging out my first book to see how far I’ve come ( or not *gulp* ) in my writing. It was definitely eye opening. I took some pictures. Check out this behemoth.

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    I wrote it back in the early 90's when I was around 14. I’m having issues trying to date this ( I never wrote dates on anything. And there are about 4 10-30 page outlines I had done of the story previous to writing this draft which is throwing me off on the dates. ) I got inspired by Twin Peaks which was inspired by old movies and my ms bares a lot of similar themes ( both with old movies and Twin Peaks ) - There are serial murders, and a quirky detective, lots of strange folklore, an amnesia theme, and a sort of horror/surrealism. It took a year or two to write ( dates evade me. ) But the final result is a block of paper almost as high as your average Dr. Pepper can. Lol.

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    Ew that yellow paper, you can tell I just grabbed anything because chapters written after look older. But I had a habit of grabbing any paper I could find. I’m really going to have to transcribe it onto a computer or something - Some of the paper is so cheap, ditto the pens that some of the words are pretty faded.
    Notice how I tabbed the chapters, I kinda like that. I’m terribly organized so I not only tabbed the chapters, I named them to keep track of things. There are 44 chapters. In later drafts I tried to whittle them down to 32 but they ballooned up to 53. Every time I got rid of something it seemed like some new character took it's place or a new scene filled the gap. The shortest chapter is 3 pages long and the longest chapter in the world - look at that sucker was - 665 pages.


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    A novel within a novel.

    One thing that made me nostalgic for the time when I wrote this was how into the writing I got. I wrote so much so fast that the ink would run out in my pen and rather than search for another I’d grab anything that I could find- in this page it happens to be a navy pencil crayon - and kept going. Gah! The dedication. Here's the pen starting to fade - but it picks up and - says Nice to meet you Farrell is now in navy pencil crayon.
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    And rather than loose momentum - here's the next page in pencil crayon ( lol ) -

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    - *Groan* That dialogue! So cheesy. Notice the random note at the top of the page to remind me of something I missed. Ragged Robin, a flower, happened to be some important clue in the serial murders. Not quite sure what's it doing on this page.
    At first glance over my story, I cringed ( and am still cringing over that dialogue ) , then I kinda gave myself a break. It wasn’t the day and age ( for me anyway ) of computers, or backspace, erase, or delete. I just flooded the page and to hell with coherency. Plus, I wasn’t the best student in the world, I wouldn’t know an adverb or modifier if they angrily bit me on my skinny behind.
    On the page below, I circled and underlined some stuff. Note how I was doing the present tense thing back there ( doesn’t sound half as good though. It sounds very script-y. ) And apparently I loved hammy ideas -
    - lol.
    - Also, I loved the dash. Rather than indent a paragraph I just used a dash, same for the start of dialogue which I never bothered to use quotes on. And I hated speech tags ( huh, still do ) so they didn’t always show up, clouding who the hell was speaking. Notice the circled Help...me that's actually supposed to be a thought but there's no distinction. I didn't bother printing in italic.

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    I attempted a second draft of this story and got as far as the 26 chapter - 600 pages in, oh I didn’t tell you how long this book was - 2178 pages. I decided to hunt up some paperbacks to show you the equivalent size wise. I chose some hefty horrors approx 400-500 pages a piece, but despite the fact that there are four paperbacks - I’m still 90 pages over them in length.

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    I would love to say I got much more word concise but when I attempted a second draft - it wound up running almost parallel in length. Which doesn’t sound too bad until you learn that I ditched five characters, lots of scenes and I developed a nastier habit than the dash. Instead of using the dash I wrote everything in a huge block on the page. No paragraph indents, no distinction in dialogue patterns just words. That second draft is more unreadable than the first draft. Fortunately this all took place in the early to mid 90's. And I've gotten better with my layout, word choices and hopefully grammar.
    Good things I noticed - despite my awful spelling, fluky grammar, and tendency to slip into present tense - were those quirky touches I love which I thought had only come about recently. A lot of things didn’t work but I love that I tried and that I keep on trying. - Here’s one line -
    Just wanted to show everyone that even a bad, overwinded draft is better than nothing. I'm glad I kept it all these years. There were times when I wanted to burn it or throw it out but it's shown me that I was on the right track in finding my style, there were many years when I wanted to cave but somehow that same quirky voice has fought it's way through. And at the very least it's shown how much I've grown in my writing.
    niavi and jazzabel like this.

Comments

  1. Catrin Lewis
    Oh, my gosh. What a very, very magnum opus. I wonder what the page count would be with 12 point Times New Roman?

    I love what you did, grabbing anything that would make a mark and keeping on going.

    Reading back, can you remember what you were trying to say? I take it you did finish it. Did your plot make sense? Did the killer you fingered really do it? And have you ever given another of your female characters the name "September"?

    Seeing yours, I wish I knew what became of the screenplay I started writing when I was a sophomore or junior in high school and finished when I was a senior. It was a feminist tale set in the 1890s in an unnamed eastern seaboard US city, all about a wronged wife and the young British barrister who works to defend her against the lying charges of her vicious, cheating husband, who wants to divorce her for not giving him a son. (Never mind minor details like my Brit not having a law license in the US). Oh my, such a tragic melodrama! I recall my heroine often using language like, "Heavens, give me strength!" I kill off both the male leads before I'm done and leave the widow and the mistress to forgive one another and go on together in noble sisterhood, along with the boy baby the husband gets on his wife by marital rape.

    Yeah. And not only did I write the screenplay, I designed the costumes for the female lead. And actually made one of them. Wore it to church one Easter Sunday.

    Thanks for sharing yours.
      peachalulu and jannert like this.
  2. jannert
    Wow. That is so much fun to look at. Boy. You were really organised (with the possible exception of not having extra pen refills to hand!). What impresses me is the lack of strike-throughs, at least on the pages you show us.

    My god. I wrote a lot when I was a teenager (my friend and I used to exchange stories) but while hers were neat and tidy, with only the occasional strike-through, mine were a mess.

    I kept trying to squeeze changes into the margins, on extra papers clipped into the originals, and sometimes nearly all of the entire page would get struck off. And then I'd want to swap scenes around. In no time at all the entire MS was a dog's breakfast that even the dog rejected. I gave up. Although I always had a story going on in my head (and that's always ...sometimes several at once) I was not a writer.

    Then came wordprocessing. HEAVEN. I could chop and change all I wanted to. I could save old versions, cut and paste to my little heart's content. I think what must have separated writers from non-writers back in the old days was their ability to get it down once, and make only minor changes after that. Despite my occasional rant at technology in general, I would never have written my novel without my trusty Mac.

    This was great fun to look at. I wish I'd saved mine. No I don't...

    Edit Delete
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  3. peachalulu
    I'm trying to transcribe it onto the computer now, *groan*. With the change into Times New Roman 12 - it definitely cuts down the page count - 3 pages makes about 2 two typed pages. Re-reading it I can actually grasp what I meant, however some of the symbolic things are still a mystery. I have boxes of notes though so occasionally I'll come across something and go - that's what that meant?!

    The plot makes a bit of sense - at it's core it's just a mystery story. But it's full of weird visions and symbolism, people just appear and do strange things everything behaves rather like a dream world - Lampposts melt in the heat, there are traffic directors in the grocery store, crows speak of coming death, strangers offer people strange pills like the eat me cakes in Alice in Wonderland, people climb out of pictures, a murder victim is sent a deadly snake that changes colors. And that's only a smidgen of the weirdity.

    The killer was fingered but I never really felt all that comfortable with my pick. Plus, by the time the killer is revealed it's a ho-hum revelation lost in all the other stuff going on. The choice feels brilliant but it's virtually impossible for a reader to pick that person because he/she was mentioned only once in passing. In later editions I changed the killer to make it a bit more fair.

    Nope, there's only one September in my mind. Actually, I haven't used a lot of character names from this story as it's full of offbeat names - Traudell, Bibi Yolanda, Teal, Picnic, Quay, Edgar, Lilo. - and even though a lot of these are bit players
    they're stuck in my mind as Picnic, daughter or the murder victim Simone etc.

    A period piece, you were ambitious! Yes, don't you just love those days when you said to hell with 'minor' details - lol. My detective work in my story was less than stellar. Your work sounds a lot more pulled together than mine - I like the end!
    You designed a costume from your story that is so cool! It's too bad you lost your screenplay - I know how that feels.
    Thanks, for sharing too.
  4. peachalulu
    Thanks Jannert! There are some scribbled out sentences but mainly I just let it all out. I knew it wouldn't be perfect it was the first time I ever let a first draft be a first draft and didn't look back. I have lots of highlighter notes like you see at the top of the page and arrows and brackets around entire scenes with phrases like work on, horrible, ditch, replace. Most of the notes for the editing of this story were done on separate pieces of paper, though.

    I didn't get a computer till half-way through my second attempt at this sucker in the late 90's - it's kinda funny too because the paper trail ends on a certain chapter Blue Bibi which I thought that's where I ended but I found in an old folder on my computer the next chapter - Iggie and Yililah showing that I'd continued on.

    I had an electrical typewriter but the cartridges were expensive so I didn't use it much. It was hard to make the switch from writing on paper to computer but I love it. And I try not to delete anything. I want to have that same paper trail of thought whether I look at it or not so I save my clipped bits n pieces.
      jannert likes this.
  5. Catrin Lewis
    Me, too. If I make any major changes, I give the new file today's date and go on. Not that I'm ever going to use the old stuff; knowing it's still there Just In Case frees me up to leave it behind. :)
      peachalulu likes this.
  6. jannert
    Yeah, I save my bits as well. Mind you, I have been clearing away some of my files, so I don't keep every incarnation of the older ones ...just a couple of samples to show progress. I do have complete printed out versions of several drafts, though. It's instructive to look back and realise how over-written they were. I wouldn't call my writing minimalist now, but back then ...whew...

    I think it's really nice that you still like your old stuff enough to be working on putting it on computer. I think it's important to like your own work. Not so much that you can't see or correct flaws, or that you expect everybody else to love it as much as you do, but if you like it, that shows heart. I think heart is the most important element in writing, really. Everything else you can learn, but you can't learn heart.
      peachalulu likes this.
  7. jazzabel
    I read your blog a few days ago, but it was late at night so I didn't comment. But you inspired me to tally-up all I had so far, and do a bit of an analysis on it, to see wtf is going on, since I haven't seriously reflected on my writing so far. I love your Behemoth! I would have the same, but it was lost in the war, sadly, and everything I had left of it was a notebook with a few short stories in it, which I haven't seen in years. So I think it's wonderful you had a chance to develop your project, and use it as such a learning tool :)
    I can see why you kept going at it, it sounds like a perfect story!
  8. peachalulu
    Thanks, Jazzabel!
    I was transcribing a chapter last night and shaking my head and wanting so much to change the scene. New dialogue was spinning in my head which was exciting. I couldn't believe I could pick up the characters with such ease after so many years. I'm trying not to get too worked up over it as I'd like to finish a few projects that I'm working on now before attempting another rewrite on this one.
    Sigh*So many ideas, so little time!
      jazzabel and Catrin Lewis like this.
  9. Mans
    :eek: Ohhhh...how badly written lines (second photo )...:D
  10. peachalulu
    Just one? :rofl: Mans, you're not trying hard enough - There are dozens!
      Mans likes this.
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