i am very different from a lot of people here in my town and from my family, and yet, i am the same as them. i like things some people would not like and even disapprove of. i like reading yaoi stories and doujinshi. not many people even know what it means, if you do, good for you! if you don't and you don't like same sex relationships, then go on with your life and don't even read this if you don't like!
from what i know of about here in the North Slope, not many people even know of or like yaoi and yuri. i am friends of a few of them. not even my family knows i like yaoi. only a few friends even know what it means! i am a very personal person, don't even confide in people. you people are lucky that you are even knowing what i think. i don't ask for help a lot of the time for anything unless i have no choice in the matter.
as i was saying, i don't confide in my family that much, even my friends. but i wish so. i have a lot of genes saying that i am my families daughter alright. i have my mom's hair texture, my Kanayurak nose from my dad's side, my dad's height from his family, my dad's family famous temper when provoked, and some other things. i mostly look a lot like my dad's side than my mom's. but, i'm proud of it. i'm happy being a Kanayurak. my dad's family last name means something in my Inupiat or Eskimo language. it means Robin, i don't know why, but it does.
i am also a little bit more emotional than people here. i grew up being bullied till i was about 18 and 1 and a half months, which was not too long ago. i turn 19 in october this year. because of that, i changed from what my brothers and sisters grew up from, i'm more sensitive about a few things than other people at some things. that is why i am a very personal person, i am afraid that someone will use my personal liking against me and tease me about it and tell other people so they may also tease and bully me about it.i am not a very trusting person about meeting new people.
for a while, i was really depressed. because of that, i had some thoughts about ending the pain and hurt i felt; now, now i feel better than before. but i am still weary of new people i start to befriend. old habits die hard.
this is also the reason why my favorites in colors and songs are different. my favorite colors used to be orange and yellow, now, it's blood red and a dark ice blue. in music, i used to like to listen to happy like songs, now its a mixture. but mostly songs that are emotional and very meaningful.
i changed a lot, but it also made me stronger and more aware that life isn't easy. i would never change that for anything in the world. i don't like things being sugar coated, i would rather get the whole truth than some half truths.
this is who i am, how i changed; my name is Olive Sakik Kanayurak, and i am proud of my life....
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