JessaNova Aug 11, 2010
Oh my, what an enlightening little story.
I really enjoyed this. The only thing I'd say is to clarify the near-end of it all. The transition between Elizabeth and Will. I like the way it flows, but it gets a little confusing. I read it again, and it was still the same for me.

Because you're going from the fact that she's imagining the day he comes home... then he's imagining it? Then they're going along like they're going to see each other and bombs go off? I would clean that up because that's where you're building the climax before it's end.