All Thats Happened and All Thats To Come. . .
I have a blog out there on the wide, vast, interwebs, and I never update it but I figure if I post them here, I may feel pressured to actually do something with it x: On my actual blog I have picture and captions to emphasize my ranting but I know you guys have such good imaginations so you'll be okay ^^
My name is Shannon, and I suppose I should fill you all in on who I am. You and I are going to go on a journey of sorts, it’s my journey of course but I'm totally willing to have a few interlopers.
Let’s start somewhere resembling the beginning of me; I guess a good start is to somewhat explain my family and home-life. I was (am being) raised in a very small town in good ol’ VA by two wonderful people whom I am lucky to share blood and genes with. My mother Katy was and is probably my biggest influence in life and was a consistently great mother my whole childhood; my Father hadn’t become a prominent role-model for me till later in my life, after my parents’ divorce, but I always respected him as a phenomenal provider. Now, getting back to my childhood; it was enjoyable for me, but far from ideal or “normal” (whatever the hell that means).
I lived in a pretty dinky trailer off in the woods surrounded by my family. Now the family part sounds pretty good, no? Well normally for a child having your aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents around would probably be a positive thing but when you have a family as completely wrecked as mine; it isn’t necessarily a positive thing. Between the drugs and alcohol (and I suspect incest and excess amounts of molestation), family ties are sometimes better to be broken. Not saying that they’re all bad, but there is enough spread around to give the whole family tree that tree-cancer crap.
Anyway, back on track. I have two older brothers, both of which are completely amazing, and both of which I really look up too. Both of which I am consistently being put down by. It’s no real fault of theirs, the complex lies in me, but I am unable to please the two most important people in my life. Sound familiar? After my parents’ divorce (I believe I was around ten) my brothers more or less began raising me, though only due to my refusal of my grandmothers help and my parents need to piece themselves back together.
Now this is an important thing to explain. Most things I’m skimming over due to laziness and their consequentially un-importance but this, this is very much worth explaining.
Most people blame everything that’s ever been wrong with themselves or their life on the splitting of their parents. Sure, it’s a painful thing to have happen and its always unfair to any kids involved but my parents’ divorce is the single most wonderful thing that may have ever happened to me yet. Because my parents divorced each other I have been able to know them on a level unachievable to most kids. For a lot of people they don’t start really learning about their parents until they are grown and most of the time still hardly really know their parents until its too late. I get to actually be friends with my folks and through getting to really know them, I’ve been able to learn to respect them, to understand and appreciate their struggles in life and I think through that, they have become better parents standing alone then they could have been together and also, I and my brothers have grown to be stronger, better people. In turn, life has allowed me to go through something pretty lousy and come out completely better in the end. So yes, divorce happened and I’m thankful for it.
Now that that’s out of the way I suppose I could roll on over some other details. I’m an old soul so to speak. I’m just seventeen but when I lie my head down at night and open my eyes in the morning, I feel at least on the darker side of forty. I am cynical and elitist and for some reason the powers that be allowed me to be hopelessly romantic. I have a failure complex and low self-esteem; I hate myself most of the time but always hate others more and seem to only get along with the people no one likes.
With all that said, I am a good person though. I can see things in people that others can’t or they refuse to see in themselves, I have ferocious belief in people and I have a genuine god given love for the world and its inhabitants as a whole, it’s just not so evident given my rough nature.
There is much more of my life to be discussed but I believe everything needed to be known will come up upon its relevance with each post.
My big hope is that through stories of my day to day (or however often I post) life and examples of my past histories with my family and friends and even my own strange self will help all you generous readers out there. It is my life goal to counsel others to begin with.
So if you read this and feel an inkling of familiarity, stick around, this may be a helpful place for you.
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