Be gentle . . . it's my first time. . . .

My first time posting to this blog, anyway. So lemme tell you a few things about my favorite topic: me

I'm a thirty-year-old, bipolar, lesbian, existential nihilist and atheist who plays guitar (badly), and tenor banjo (badly-er).

I'm from Brooklyn, NY, USA, but I was born in the Bronx. I currently live in Kingston, NY, which is the original capital of NY State, and was once burned down by the British. Now, I don't hate Kingston--or the British, for that matter (I'm something of an anglophile) but I do wish the latter had done a better job of destroying the former. And then perhaps they could've salted the earth afterward, just in case.

Okay, so, yeah, maybe I hate this town a little.

I'd like to live in London once, before I die, as well as Cardiff, Edinburgh, Brisbane, and Seattle. If I ever have children, I'm moving to Finland for the second best educational system in the world. Learning Finnish looks incredibly hard and convoluted, but I suppose it'd be a small sacrifice for having a smart and well-rounded ankle-biter.

I have delusions of someday being a copyeditor, and am currently trying to break into proofreading. As much as I love to write, I love to read more, and nitpick others' mistakes most of all. I think we're a good fit, proofreading and I.

(By the way, here's where you, dear reader and writer, jump in with advice on how to break into the biz, and/ or your need for my totally gratis services.)

I tend to read fantasy and horror when it comes to fiction, philosophy and history when it comes to nonfiction. Among my favorite authors, in no particular order, are: Edgar Allen Poe, HP Lovecraft, Stephen King, Octavia Butler, J.R.R. Tolkien, Clive Barker, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Neil Gaiman, Sheri S. Tepper, Richard Dawkins, Brian Greene, Hunter S. Thompson, Ursula L. LeGuin, and I'm cultivating a love of Geoff Ryman and Simon R. Green.

I, myself, tend to write humorous horror and humorous fantasy, which includes such notable titles as "Arvind and The Antichrist: A Love Story in Five Acts," and "Super: Who Saves The Heroes?"

I've got a genuine published story to my name, too, "The Swimming Lesson."

For my money, John Carpenter is the best and most consistent director ever. The scariest supernatural horror movie I've ever seen is still "Prince of Darkness"--and I'm an atheist!

My trifecta of favorite bands are Queen, Rush, and Nirvana.

And I'm ambidextrous, which is something I never thought was noteworthy (or worth telling anyone, ever) till my mother caught me at it a few weeks ago and was floored. Now I brut it around like it's the Second Coming, even though, if anything, it all looks like chicken-scratch no matter which hand it comes from.

See? I rock in ways even I didn't know about

I'm deathly allergic to almonds. They're my kryptonite. Delicious, delicious kryptonite. . . .

I'm not a fan of mammals, especially cute ones. I love pythons, however.

I find Hemingway boring as a writer, but interesting as a historical figure. I don't care for Shakespeare's comedies, but his tragedies are spot-the-****-on.

Chaucer is the man.

Um. I guess that's it', for now. Your eyes must be tired from so much awesome. I release you, now!