Now just hold on one DAMN minute.
There is NO evidence to suggest that I had any involvement whatsoever in the weapon smuggling that took place during last weekend's corporate hat-wearing function. I may have taken a small handgun as a mild jape, to poke fun at my superiors, but that sackful of assault rifles was not, I repeat NOT, mine. And just in case you believe it appropriate to continue spreading these malicious and libellous lies about me, besmirching my wholesome and respectable image, I will hint subtly that although the guns were not mine, I may well know some people who have cheese graters and various kitchen appliances. Say no more.
These words aren't mine either, I was minding them for a gentleman who offered me a small sum of money to stand here with them and display them for public perusal. I have no real connection to them and can't be held responsible for anything they may or may not mean. In any case they are just a collection of letters, and if the random jumble is seen to be significant or meaningful, that's the observer's problem and not mine. People see shapes in clouds, hold subjective beliefs about other disparate ephemera, PATTERNS WHERE THERE ARE NONE, so don't you dare get all uppity and snoioopidooopitorous with me, matey.
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