Confessions

Appreciate the honesty...The fact that you drink throughout your day at work is definitely worrying.

I also had drug abuse problem, mainly due to my shitty job during this period... Are you sure you cannot find a rewarding activity that can help you? Role playing, drawing, creating a blog?

I learn a very good Technic to stay positive: each day I write all the positive stuff. It's really helpful to avoid depression.

Be brave.

I've had friends and family who were alcoholics. The one in my family stopped when he got sick because of it and fell off the wagon a couple of years after he got better. It's devastating for people close to the alcoholic. The only way I'd try to get myself off opiates is to let someone lock me up and only bring me food, not to let me out under any circumstances until detox is over and even some time after that.

The thing is that there is no easy way, no magic drug to wash off the addiction. One must suffer to get rid of it, and stay vigilant for the rest of their lives. The only consolation is that over the years, even though the urge never completely goes away, it does get easier to cope with.

Some people are capable of just stopping by themselves and never taking a sip even at parties. I hope that could be you. But if not, take drastic measures. Take a vacation, tell a trustworthy friend to lock you up and only to bring you food. Don't let your fiance see you during that time because you won't be yourself and she'll remember it and in her eyes that phase will become a part of your personality, which it shouldn't.

There are also groups, but like psychologists, they are highly ineffective, though there are people out there who got out of substance abuse that way. Maybe that could be you, so you should give it a go if the previous advice is too extreme.

Writing this blog entry means that you started trying, and that's the most important part. Now you need to keep trying every day until you get rid of it.