LordKyleOfEarth Feb 4, 2011
This piece follows in a similar style to John Woods' "The complete collection of people, places, and things". I think that with a little clean up work you could flesh it out into something really great.

I have a piece somewhere in the review room called "The driver and Mr. Deux" (or something like that) that arose from trying to write in Woods' style. If you want to see what format I am talking about (without sourcing the book) it's an easy route.

All in all, good story. The ending was a little bit of a let down, just because it was exactly what I expected. I think it can be fine, however, if you continue the piece (tangentially) and further her story (Basically, just don't end it here-- it's too cliché)