Day dreaming seemed "scary...."

before this i stand again.... This random craving of death consume the inside mind of the hope I had controlling my life, now what do I find? A smile hidden deep inside me, may lead to resurrection... but to get to it!, that's the thing you see... or not? It's a lifeless act to render the outcome with mental thoughts of the dream environment making it seem like reality but soon after its just another dream... Seeing those inside the dream world makes me tick, thinking what if this is all just another dream, I'm not really here, nothing is really here... none of those I know exist... what if this is all just an memory of something, I may have had but the outcome is a total shit pile, so present I'm still an infant inside the womb of my care-taker for this world... and all of this........................?