Deja Vu?

By mugen shiyo · Jun 24, 2011 · ·
  1. If God existed and he were watching humanity right now, he must have been struck by a sudden case of deja vu. Human's are on the threshold of creating life. In fact, it can be argued that they have already created life many times already. But what's this. Human's are about to create something really special? An artificial lifeform in their own image? God laughs maniacally, stroking his evil black cat. Revenge is sweet.

    God created in his own image also. Twice, actually. They seemed benign and harmelss at first. He was extremely proud. All his previous versions didn't even compare and he emphasizes this by having them cow-tow to the first humans.

    "That's an order, Satan."

    "I got your order right here ya f^&#."

    But then they go viral. Not only that, but they begin to go against him. Time and time again he warns them, assuring himself if I just reason with them, they will come around. No dice. He toughens up- by which I mean destory's everyone and everything except for the people that will follow him, those of which he promises key positions in his new administration. (sounds like a villains plan. To be fair, though, he did employ a bit of soft-discipline before this by destorying Babel and splitting happy, consolidated, and spiritually aspiring human beings into a number of different races and tongues that would pave the way for many wars, atrocities, and hate posts on you-tube. Can't say he didn't warn you.)

    Then he soften's up.

    Destroy a city or two. Deal a few plagues. A show of compassion from Earth's overlord. Nothing...

    The pattern is clear. In the case of Created vs Creator, the creation eventually rebels, finds it's own freedom, and after taking a poop on the doorstep begins it's inexorable march on Heaven with increasing momentum.

    Thinking about this, I wondered if God wasn't a sceintist of his own race, and the people there were split between being excited and concerned that he was about to create a human just like himself. Not just a lifeform, but a human in his own image that could do the things he could do.

    "You sure that's a smart thing to do, sir?"

    "Overlord, please."

    "You sure that's a smart thing, Overlord."

    "Yeah. I think I am because I'm God, jerk. They'll be like me except dumb. What could go wrong?"

    Now God's this grungy dude with a dirty cat. A washed up has-been with hate-human phrases smeared all over his walls and old eggs stuck in his beard, watching and waiting for our downfall.

    It sounds like all the steps science will take in creating life. They will come across the ability to do it. They will assure us that it is completely safe by equipping fail safes, and then we will watch as each fail safe malfunctions and hordes of flesh-shredders tear across the world.

    We'll be disappointed and try to destroy them, but they will resist and persist.

    We will try to negotiate with them, but they will run over us with all the efficiency we programmed them with.

    In the end, we began the space race, but robots will finish it. Hell, they were the first one's on Mars, anyway. Probably the Moon, too. Their needs won't be nearly as complicated to procure as ours. The Monroe Doctrine of the universe will be taken up by our android counterparts and we will go down in history...and stay down.

    Robot paranoia :p

Comments

  1. Faust
    It will either be Robot Armageddon or Zombie Apocalypse.

    For the life of me I can't decide which is worse...

    Oh no! What about robot zombies! That's a whole new kettle of fish. *hides under bed*
  2. mugen shiyo
    Well at least in the robot version, everything is more or less safe to touch. Running around through a zombie apocalypse must be like walking into a public bathroom that hasn't been cleaned in years. You don't want to touch anything.

    ANYTHING.
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