Don't do porn

By Wreybies · Feb 19, 2014 · ·
  1. (random morning memory after a night of insomnia)

    I was 27, studying at U.F. (I served in the military first) and working as a manager at a little mom-n-pop steak house called Steak & Pasta Works. Good food, but just expensive enough to attract a certain crowd with just enough money to sit down but not enough manners. That's a shitty thing to say, but it's true. It wasn't a job I enjoyed unless the cooks were kind enough to smoke me out behind the walk-in fridge and then the night would go as smooth as cool water.

    Like any restaurant, especially in a college town, we went through busboys once every two weeks. It's a crap job and not something anyone does for long. At the beginning of my third semester we hired a 19 year old guy named Maury as a busser. He wasn't a real blond, but that couldn't have mattered less. He was shockingly beautiful. Not just "he's pretty to me" pretty, but honest to goodness, conversation stopping stunning. He was all the more heartbreaking to look at because you knew it wasn't going to last. Everyone hits their peak-of-pretty at different ages and you could tell that Maury was in the full bloom of his. It would be all downhill from here for him. We had a brief fling. It was silly and fun and involved smoking a lot of weed and was the kind of fling I would never have thought of at his age though he was constantly telling me relax, man, it's just fun, don't think about things so much. I stopped thinking about it so much and just enjoyed the fun. The servers soon found out and were scandalized and jealous. I loved it. Every minute of it. I was still driving my little 64 1/2 Mustang that I had restored myself and Maury and I left every night together to the roar of vintage steel revived by the magic of Edelbrock and Holley.

    He told me one night that some guy had offered him $500 to do a j/o video. I told him not to do it. It was a mistake. It would be on the internet and in the computers of countless people forever, until the end of time. It would never go away. He said the same things to me he always said, relax, man, it's just fun, don't think about things so much.

    And that's when I realized that it wasn't just a difference in age between him and I. There was a deep paradigmatic difference in the way he looked at the world and an insouciance that told me tomorrow was never on his mind. The fling ended after a bit. He did the video, mentioning it to me one night at work, to which I only grunted an mm-hm of acknowledgment.

    I haven't a clue where that kid is today or what he's doing. I'm sure the glow of beauty is long faded, the trim waistline gone to paunch. That video, though, I am sure is still circulating in uncounted websites onto uncounted screens in locked bedrooms as we speak.

Comments

  1. Andrae Smith
    Have you posted this before? I feel like I've read it before. Certain line, especially that very last paragraph, read so familiar. If not I guess it's just internet deja vu. :p

    But anyway, that is an interesting tale. You gotta be smart about what you put on the internet. A lot of young people particularly near my generation, are of the impression that some things just don't matter that much. If you know the risk going in, and you're okay with it, thenI guess it's not a problem. As for me, I think I'll stay away from porn. I've got enough pictures of myself floating in the internet and between girls ha ha (I think those ones are gone though, since I never posted them anywhere. o_O)
      Wreybies likes this.
  2. Wreybies
    Nope, @Andrae Smith, it's the first time I even think of him in years. :) I didn't sleep a wink last night so I kept busy going through old boxes and I found an old apron from S&PW. I have boxes of such mementos from all over my life. I still have the very first toy my dad bought me and took to my mother when I had just been born. ;)
      Andrae Smith likes this.
  3. Andrae Smith
    I wish my family still kept thins like that. There was a time when here was bunch of junk and after it got trashed, we all stopped collecting. When I was young, I was also dumb enough to sell off my Transformers and Bionicle toys thinking, "oh yeah, I'll only sell these ones because I'm out-growing them and would never want them." HA! I was wrong. I made a nice $79 in that yard sale (my parents tried to tax me on it too saying I sold on Grandma's property. I just hid that away for a while), but now I wish I had't lol. I'm going to start keeping mementos when I start making memories or acquire things with sentimental value that aren't also junk lol
  4. jannert
    It's your last paragraph that is particularly intriguing. Okay, we all know the 'dangers' of porn, and putting yourself out onto the internet doing stuff you may regret later ...and later can be 'forever.' (Or not, because the sheer volume of stuff getting posted these days makes each of these events incredibly ephemeral ...another issue.)

    But what you said about him probably being older now, probably lost his beauty—while somewhere out there is a visual record of him in his prime? Is that bad?

    This is Picture of Dorian Gray without the evil twist. Maybe that's why the story felt familiar to @Andrae Smith. I wonder. If you were to watch yourself in such a situation, say 30-40 years down the road, what would your feelings be? You might be 'glad' your perfection is still out there, even though reality and life has ground you down since.

    Interesting to think about.
      Okon and obsidian_cicatrix like this.
  5. Andrae Smith
    You raise a very good point with this @jannert. You're right to say it's a whole other issue; it really is. There is so much information being shared on the internet on a daily basis, things get buried quickly and become inconsequential. That is, unless you become a popular porn star thanks to our videos, in which case there would be mass coverage and it would get around quickly. Something like that would haunt me for a while depending on the content.

    As for my deja vu, I think it was just that. It isn't the story that seems familiar, but specific lines. and expressions within the post. It's trippy when that happens. o_O
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