I'm getting really bored of feeling so crap all the time now. Really, really bored.
My moods have been really bad the last few years, but this year in particular has been terrible.
I've been having dramatic highs and lows, but now, it just seems like i'm on a constant low. And when I say low, I mean really ****ing low.
Anything bad that happens, or even an off look from someone or a sarcastic comment always results in the same answer: It's because I'm a complete C/nt and I don't deserve to be happy.
I don't feel secure and I don't feel like I'm connecting with anybody.
Everyday I feel like a zombie, as though I'm a ghost looking through my eyes without actually controlling my body.
I'm so tired all the time, completely exhausted. Everything seems so murky and low and horrible. I feel like I'm always on the verge of either crying, or screaming.
The only time I'm happy is when Matt is with me, because that's the only time when I feel like a whole person - or like a person at all for that matter.
I'm f/cking sick to death of feeling this way, and now that I'm at Uni I really can't afford for it to start getting worse. I don't care what I have to do, I just want it to f/cking stop and go away.
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