Grieving

After my friend recently died, I decided to vent out some of the pain, and I came up with this, please be HARSH!!! thank you

Grieving
Rays of smiles cascade through the shadows of pain and guilt while caressing the ever-present surprise. Boiling and crimson liquid sustain my less deserving life by pumping through a shattered heart and wracked brain. Normalities become dreams only achievable in the deepest sleep while talents once shared are forgotten, and ones once dormant become dominant and resilient. Living emblems of you become no more than distant and fading memories that are crushed into powdery inadequacies. Missions of preservation are overshadowed by reconstruction of a new life, one handicapped without your presence. While evil rumors cloud visions of past conversations and trust, it is only to be expected to embrace the insufficient tears and phases of sorrow. This circle of grief only loosens it's grip when forced to, but that is impossible, because you would then truly be gone. Empty… Alone… Your inescapable fate… Too much for any one person to handle, yet everyone is condemned to none the less… Distractions do not exist in reality nor dream because of the lingering thoughts. Pain or solidarity, which would you choose?….

Dedicated to Private First Class Jake William Suter (July 30, 1991- May 29, 2010)
You have and will always be a part of me...