Homecoming

September 12, 2009 - both the best and the worst night of my life.

I entered the homecoming dance slightly depressed. I had planned on asking my friend Austin to the dance, but found out that day taht he had already asked a sophomore and was now dating her. I frowned as he walked by me in line with his date. Well, this was going to be fun...

So there I am, standing alone off the corner of the dance floor, wondering how it all came to this: a senior whom boys were avoiding like the plague. Gazing over the dancing masses, I spotted my friend Kira and grinned. She takes classes over at the local community college, so I only see her on rare occassions. "Hey there Sam," she said, hugging me, "So, apparently no one knows who I am since I never come her for classes..."

Suddenly, Austin comes bounding up, having properly ditched his date. "Hello," he shouted, punching my shoulder. I winced. I hate it when he punches me.

"So what's going on there?" Kira asked me as Austin rushed off to find my brother. "Oh, just someone I was going to ask to homecoming," I replied. Kira raised an eyebrow. "Really? You can do so much better than him."

As if on cue, a hand slipped around my waist. "Hey," Shawn said, pulling me closer to him.
I grinned, "Hi there."

For the past three years I had had a crush on Shawn. Just last year, my best friend Alaina had apparently asked him how he felt about me. "I don't think we can ever be anything more than friends," was his susposed reply. So I got over him.

An hour later, after still not finding anyone to dance with, I spotted Shawn and my youngest brother sitting at a nearby table. "Scoot over Patrick," I urged, motioning. There were no more chairs left.

Shawn caught my eye. "Come sit over here," he shouted over the music, patting his knee. I politely declined. After having two boyfriends that only wanted to be physical with me, I flinched whenever anyone would get too close. I blamed it on a bubble problem, but I knew it was because my ex's crossed the line when i told them no. But after sitting there uncomfortably with Patrick, I began to reconsider. What the hell. It was only Shawn.

"I need to make words with you," Shawn shouted, and this time I went up and sat down on his knee. Leaning over and whispering in my ear, he said, "You and Alan need to dance." "No way!" I shouted, waving my arms, "Alan is my little brother's best friend!" "So?" Shawn asked, his right hand brushing my leg. "So, it's awkward!"

Suddenly, Shawn wrapped his arms around me. My breath caught, a shiver sent up my spine. Shawn was always flirting with me on the bus, maybe grabbing my knee or stroking my arm. But this...this was completely different. "It's just a dance," Shawn whispered, his breath brushing my ear. I shook my head, no.

Just then he shrugged me off of his knee. "Come on," he announced, shoving me gently in the direction of the dance flor. His hands once again slipped around my waist, and I found my hands effortlessly slipping around his neck. The dance felt like it only lasted seconds, and afterwards Shawn went off to talk to friends. I didn't see him again the entire night.

Kira came over to my side, pressing buttons on her camera. "I was trying to get a picture of Shawn with his arms around you," she explained, flipping through the memory, "But then you guys went off." I stood there, still completely dumbfounded. Shawn was a flirt, but I had never seen him act like that with another girl. He may dance with them, but anything else was out of bounds.

On the way home, having nearly forgotten about anything else that happened that night, I kept replaying that memory of his arms slipping around me. Maybe he likes me, I chanted over and over in my head wtih time to the memory. And then I frowned, glancing out the darkened window. Damn. I'd fallen for him again.

Should I Smile Because You're My Friend
Or Cry Because Thats All We'll Ever Be?