hopelessromantic blog 2

i want him
i want him to look into my eyes
want to look into his eyes and see the need in them
the need for me
the need to be with me
to have me close
i want to watch his face as he sleeps
want to wake up next to him
want to lay down at night next to him
i want him to cuddle up close to me and tell me
all the wonderful things he wants to do to me
all those things that will make me feel so amazing
you whispering in my ear
i shiver at the things you say and your warm breathe on my skin
you nibble lightly at my earlobe and i gasp
i'm laying on my side on the bed with you behind me
you are cuddled up close to me
our bodies touching all along each others
your arm wrapped around my waist
holding me close to you
i want that so much... so damn much...
and i know that i cant have it
because you arent attracted to me like that
you live over 800 miles away
you are litteraly twice my age
there are so many reasons to not have these feelings
and yet still i have them
and no matter how i try they are still there
no matter how many times you agree with me on lonlieness and things we both want
you still dont feel it
you dont notice the tears that silently roll down my cheeks
as i try to keep my breathing even and quiet
i dont know what to do about this, about these feelings
and even if you knew, what would you do?
what could you do?