After the second relationship in three months, i realize just how insecure I am. When a guy I know starts to put on the charm and eventually ask me to go out(steady, not date, I've had this clarified for me), I say "yes" without hesitation. Is it because I'ma afraid that if i give him the chance to think about it himself, he might recant? Or is i simply because i can't say "no?"
My Gram's funny, she said to me, "What you need to do is go to college and find a 21 year old with a life of his own." She knows like I know that I can't share my space, my very recent ex even admited that it's awkward when ppl even try to e a part of my space because it's the one thing I find hard to share, well, that and food and control-no, I'm not a control freak.
I have a goal for myself now: Stay out of relationships untill I'm done with me, the development of what I need to be to die happy.
So the next time somebody asks me out, I'm gonna say, "I'll get back to you," and if I can't say yes come the next morning...well then my heart will finally be happy that it gets a say.
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