1. Published on Amazon? If you have a book, e-book, or audiobook available on Amazon.com, we'll promote it on WritingForums.org for free. Simply add your book to our Member Publications section. Add your book here or read the full announcement.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Dismiss Notice

I'm Really No One Special

Published by Quezacotl in the blog Direct From the Madhouse. Views: 152

No, this is not a rant on my lack of self esteem. I have a great deal of self-worth. At least, now I do.

In high school - by my standards - I was no one special. I was in marching band for four years, and I absolutely hated it. The director always told us the sum was greater than just one of its parts. Math probably wasn't his strong suit - the slope was becoming negative. The band's standard and personality degraded. I hated it, but kept in it despite knowing I absolutely hated playing music, marching, and many of the people in said band. I hoped it would end well. At the final ceremony, the band director did not mention I was a Senior.

I haven't touched any of my music since then.

My senior year I was in the classes of every other Honors Scholar and great friends with the Valevictorian-to-be. By no means was I on their level, but in a manner of two years I had made an effort to accelerate my pace and try to catch up to them. My counselor said it was a great feat. My parents were impressed. A close teacher continuously praised me.

I broke down that year. I held myself to a ludicrous standard and cried when I got rejected from UofM while the chatterboxes and pricks in my classes got in. I felt I have always gotten the shit end of things. In middle school I was placed in the slow track when I was supposed to be advanced. Towards the end of middle school I missed a chance to get into the International Academy - I was 22nd on the list of the 20 people who could possibly get in. Not one person opted out.

A few days later the Valevictorian-to-be complimented me. "Que, I just love you. You are the most relaxed guy I have ever known."

She got a 36 on the ACT, a straight 4.0, and had scholarships to the best schools in the nation. She complimented me, a 29-ACT, 3.79, and scholarshipless scrub. I was no one special, but that was all I needed.

I did not break down then. I did just now.

-Que

As much as I wish it was, Que is not my real name.
You need to be logged in to comment